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Feb 2020 · 126
Desolation
Jaaxxx Feb 2020
Living π—‚π—Œ π–Ύπ—‘π—π–Ίπ—Žπ—Œπ—π—‚π—‡π—€
𝖢𝗁𝖾𝗇 life loses its meaning
Happy for being π—Œπ–Ίπ–½
I'm not 𝖻𝖾𝗂𝗇𝗀 π—ˆπ—‹ π—€π—ˆπ—‚π—‡π—€ 𝗆𝖺𝖽
Just feeling empty.

Hiding thoughts by π—Œπ—†π—‚π—…π—‚π—‡π—€
π–‘π—Žπ— the nights keeps on reminding
Finding the end of the tunnel might be hard
For it is π—π—ˆπ—ˆ 𝖽𝖺𝗋𝗄
𝖠𝗇𝖽 π—‡π—ˆπ— π—π—ˆπ—ˆ π—…π—ˆπ—Œπ— π—π—ˆ π—€π—ˆ 𝖻𝖺𝖼𝗄 π–Ώπ—‹π—ˆπ—† 𝗍𝗁𝖾 π—Œπ—π–Ίπ—‹π—
Where will it gets me?

Swallowed by the void
No one's keeping score
But you're asking what is the point
Waiting for answers you wish to come
Waiting for answers that may not come

For everyday you wish to surive
This thought should might help
Perfect a lie that everything's fine
And wish to believe it yourself.
Apr 2017 · 351
I am...
Jaaxxx Apr 2017
I'm no soldier, but the white flag raised.
I don't want my time to put to waste
I'm not scared, I'm not mad
I'm not happy nor sad
But I'm tired.
Mar 2017 · 339
Unknown Future
Jaaxxx Mar 2017
Random normal day, you came out of the blue
The world seems ordinary, the universe's not giving a clue
Your true self showed, things you're going through
Your smile, the reason why I can't take my eyes off of you

I see how you carry your heavy, chaotic world alone
I want to help you even if I can't even balance my own
Am I pushing myself too hard? Am I pushing my luck?
When I start accepting this gamble, it will be hard for me to stop

We're on the unknown part of this story
My visions of me and you are still blurry
I might be there when you call me
But I might also be gone when things get rocky

Something's telling me to quit
Something's telling me to doubt
Asking do I really know
What is this all about
Are our fears better than trying
Or it's the other way around
It's impossible for us to fly--but
Let's try to reach the clouds
Feb 2017 · 1.6k
Mas mabuti na ang mag-isa.
Jaaxxx Feb 2017
Bahagi ng aking nakaraan ang dahilan
Kung bakit mas pinili kong tatagan
ang pagiging mag-isa.
Ayoko na sanang masaktan o makapanakit pa

Sa kabila ng mga pagkakataong maaari
Na sana ako'y maging masaya; Wari
ng isip kong abala na baka
sa pagbabaka-sakali kong muli
ay muli akong mabigo
o 'di kaya'y muli akong makabigo
Masakit ang hindi makatupad ng isang pangako
#Tagalog #Tula
Jan 2017 · 275
Untitled
Jaaxxx Jan 2017
You are something I can't describe.
No words to find
to tell you what you are to me.
This, surely is a new deal.

I can't approve or deny
If my heart was already occupied
by this girl that I'm writing to.
no signs, no clues.

No, I don't want to know.
Let my interest fight with my doubt.
No, I don't want you to know.
Let the time scream what is this all about.
May 2016 · 319
RunningMan
Jaaxxx May 2016
"at night I think of you"

and day. I think of you night and day.

"I want to be your lady, baby"

I willing to be your man, all you have to do is say it.

"If your game is on give me a call boo"

Nope. No game is on 'cause I'm not playin

"If your love is strong, i gotta give my all to you"*

Just give me your love and I'll be stayin.


Girl you should know that
I'm dying just to hold your hand
I'm your secret admirer
secretly loving you.
Mar 2016 · 376
You and Them
Jaaxxx Mar 2016
Two in the morning
My beer is getting warm
I think this is my fourth bottle
And it tastes better than the first one

My friends didn't know about you
But they know there's something wrong
As I shout the lyrics
Of my favorite song
No questions. They know me well
Now they're giving me sort of heaven
In the middle of my hell

You see, I want you as whole.
Not justΒ Β body. But your soul
Your love, your kiss.
Say I'm the one you miss

But clearly, you don't care.
Good thing my friends and alcohol are here.
Mar 2016 · 347
Liar
Jaaxxx Mar 2016
I said I'll be happy for you
I told you I will be alright
But why up till now
I miss you every night

You said you are sorry
Said you're not ready
But now why
You loving somebody?

This time
I'm gonna follow my head
This brain knows
I have nothing to expect from you
I understand
You don't like me
You lied
When you said you do
Mar 2016 · 234
Tell me.
Jaaxxx Mar 2016
Tell me what you need
And I'll tell you what I want
Tell me what you boast
And I'll tell you what you lack


Tell me stories I don't know yet
And I'll tell you my fantasy
Tell me how high the sky is
And I'll tell you how deep is the sea


Tell me how badly you need my embrace
even though you're not feeling cold
Tell me that you love me*
And I'll give you the love story
that no one's ever told
Feb 2016 · 248
Try me.
Jaaxxx Feb 2016
It's not everyday you are OK
It's not every night you smile
It's not all the time you laugh
Today is an exception

The problem is
You don't know
What your problem is

You just feel...
Lonely
Sad
Unhappy
Empty

Clueless when this will end
And you starting to hate yourself
Because you are not used to this feeling

Asking heavens why
All of a sudden
Thoughts of happiness died

If life's kind of war
This man is unarmed

If nature's testing me
Hear me nature!
Try me.
#empty #spaces
Feb 2016 · 360
Untitled
Jaaxxx Feb 2016
We're living in a society where eyes are used to think
Instead of brains.
We're living in a society where heart supposed to reddened by love
but darkened by hate.
We're living in a society where people are willing to down people
just for the sake of fame.
We're living in a society where everyone's dying to take the credit
but afraid to take the blame.
I just ******* hate this society.
Feb 2016 · 248
Sand
Jaaxxx Feb 2016
The universe is so big
This planet looks like
Just a grain of sand
People are just a dust

Isn't it stupid to think
That we live blinded
By the lies of forever
That after this life
There is another life
And someone's going to choose for you
Where your other life will live?

Paradise or Slaughterhouse.
Total *******.
Feb 2016 · 881
My Valentine
Jaaxxx Feb 2016
She's my Valentine
My Samson's hair that I lose to fear
She's my  Valentine
That girl. She's my Achilles' heel

She's my Valentine
Skin's warmer than sunlight
cuddles in cold nights

She's my Valentine
Her lips are my favorite wine
She's my Valentine
Her words are my favorite lines

She's my Valentine
Her smile is my reason
to face all seasons

The world's spinning fast
but all is fine
as long as I have her because
She's my Valentine
I don't have a Valentine
Jan 2016 · 298
One night.
Jaaxxx Jan 2016
you can see on their eyes
all they need and desires
it's like tomorrow is goodbye
they're going to cherish the night

they reached each others lips
and their tongue tied
best feeling of their whole life
no one losing grips
holding bodies tight
nothing's wrong when it feels right

now hearts beating fast
rhythm through adrenaline rush
not just love, this is lust
the answer that none of them asked

as he enters her body
they knew they're united as one
her body was close to holy
but he's the one who felt he's heaven's son.
so much pleasure to say sorry
but he promised to stay until the sun
now it's time to take the glory
still their love story's undone.
Dec 2015 · 681
Cigarette
Jaaxxx Dec 2015
As I watched the fire
burned my cigarette
I put the darkness
of the smokeΒ Β 
inside my lungs

then I thought of you...

you watched my desire
you shared your secrets
I saw your sadness
we shared lame jokes
I was happily stunned

now...

You are tired
You wanted to keep it
And now I'm hopeless
because last time we spoke
I thought that wasn't the last

now I need to light another cigarette.
Dec 2015 · 358
Damsel in Distress?
Jaaxxx Dec 2015
I see you're back to your place
well guarded and alert
not willing to be conquered
by any man on this earth

or

that's just how you want me to see you
maybe you just didn't like me enough
you build a bridge and as I'm walking
you told me to stop


my thoughts are killing me
my curiousity keeps bugging me
what's the answer to this questions
do you want me to be by your side
till the end of time?
do you want me to stay here looking at you walking away?

will you ask me to stay?
Dec 2015 · 347
Pumping Machine
Jaaxxx Dec 2015
you walked away
said this is for the better
you stopped the chance
of us being together
am I delusional
by thinking you need me too?
guess that I am
because you didn't say you do.
I'm fighting myself
for keeping it this way
keeping you out of my system
from day to day
may the gods and goddesses
help me over this pain
and I'll bring back my faith
willing to take baptism
but no magic can end
the chaotic war between
this thing inside my head
with a lot of mess
and this fist-sized pumping machine
inside my chest
rejected.
Dec 2015 · 958
A life without F is a lie
Jaaxxx Dec 2015
Afraid of heights because afraid to fall
Afraid to take tests because you don't know it all
Scared in darkness because you're afraid to be alone
Scared to go away because you might miss your home
Don't mind their eyes. Go on and cry
Because a life without fear is a lie

Tried everything to achieve things so hard
But in the end you failed
Walked a million times,but still so far
Upset like the other day
Don't mind their eyes. Go on and cry
Because a life without frustration is a lie

But it's not always negative, so throw all your hate
See the good in every bad, learn how to appreciate
Feel the heat of the sun, dance in the rain
Laugh so hard like you never experienced pain
Don't mind their eyes. Go on and smile
Because life without fun is a lie
Nov 2015 · 331
Fairy tale's fairy tale
Jaaxxx Nov 2015
She was a happy, lovely teenager
all the boys around her wants to be with her
she was the kind of girl who believed in her fairy tale
and she,being alone that time, was all part of the trail

until this guy showed up, stopping her world
heart beats louder than she ever heard
feeling like a princess because she found a prince
not knowing this ain't a fairy tale that she always dream

he showed her his promises
she believed him and fall
but he broke those promises
no action at all

she is broken. you can see it in her eyes
there is no happily ever after
feelings used to live in paradise
now facing storm and thunder
Nov 2015 · 420
Forbidden
Jaaxxx Nov 2015
It all started when we were just little
we don't want to play Hansel and Gretel
I want you to be my Princess
you want me to be your Prince
and our story ends when we become King and Queen

your mother thought that we're so sweet
my father thought that we were just kids
and now that we mature they are still happy to see us
but once they knew, they are going to judge us

because we are in the world where eyes are thinking
people judge people on the way that they are seeing
I wish that we were Adam and Eve
so we can live our lives just as we want to be

It's hard to believe that we are not meant to be
because we are the fruits...of just the sameΒ tree.
Nov 2015 · 222
Untitled
Jaaxxx Nov 2015
you are something that I fear.
what will happen when you're near?
will the memories that we shared is enough?
or my thoughts will make me stop.
from getting close to you
is what I want to do
but if I do
will you push me away?
where all I wanted
is to ask me to stay.
I did this last night when I was drunk. lol
Nov 2015 · 248
11 out of 10
Jaaxxx Nov 2015
This silence
Screaming louder than speakers.
This science.
Feelings connected to universe.
Those liars,
Am I one of them now?
by not keeping
the things that we vowed?


Imagine
The stars that don't shine.
No tragic.
Doesn't mean all is fine.
Eleven.
Your scale out of *ten.

Sometimes message
doesn't need to have sense to have sense.


Dreamers
Minds are close to insanity
People
should learn how to fuse dreams with reality.
Everyone's eyes
were deceived by your smile because you know how to pretend.
"You are fine."
But that's a lie that you were told. So you told it to yourself.
Oct 2015 · 378
Time Machine
Jaaxxx Oct 2015
This is a time machine, i will bring you to my past life
Where eight in the evening is late and had full energy when i see the sunlight
Where i can make peace with friends minutes after i cry
Where maths only have numbers, no Xs and Ys
Waking up is easy, school is fun
Only thing you do is to play with everyone
Going home from school, feeling just got even better
Change clothes,go outside, find friends then play together
No phones, no gadgets, only cartoons in television
Portraying superheroes, pretending to be a soldier on a mission
The feeling of happiness when you're hanging on trees
The only pain that you know is your wounds on your knees
Oh it's fun to know you were once young and wild
Lessons that you've learned from being stupid and juvenile
How i wish that the time machine is real and true
So i can go back to my birthdate: March 13, 1992

— The End —