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827 · Sep 2019
platonic friendships
jocelyn Sep 2019
Platonic Friendships
Best friends until death do us part
Photographs and reactions
My anxiety starts
Does she like that sweater you got her?
Is it the one you got me?
I know I probably sound crazy to you
But this is making sense to me
A quick photo of you guys
Not just you two but three
But the only guy in that
Photo and you’re standing next to Na-
No I’m not jealous of her
Because I really can’t be
But seeing you happy with
Another girl can’t help but **** me
I know you won’t kiss or hold
Another body the way you do mine
But the conversations we have
The places we go, do you share that stuff? Don’t lie
I grow with bitterness And the flowers I had
Die in an instant and I grow so mad
Because I took the time to mend myself
And make sure I never spoil this
And when I finally explode
We talk until we don’t know
And it ends up being a problem dismissed
Sometimes I grow angry
But tell myself im fine
I mentally yell
Can she find a boyfriend and
Stop hanging out with mine
Platonic friendships
What a concept
Guess im not in with the times
I worry that you’ll grow tired of my rage
And leave me behind
And I don’t think id be fine
What if there comes a time
That she finds a guy
And he starts asking why
Why she hangs around one
Particular guy who just so happens to be mine?
What would she say?
What would she do?
I guess you’ll never get it
Because how could you?
If I had a guy
Who I say is my friend
Would you lie
And say its fine
Just like I do?
Or would you do neither?
I don’t know what your heart looks like around her
And I don’t know what hers looks like either
When shes sitting there and you pop out your camera
And you take photographs of her do you glance at her beauty
The way you glance at me when we sit in car seats
and you’re clearly seeing through me
Im sorry im just not use to this
Platonic friendships
But I wont be ashamed for feeling
And I’m not very good at concealing
These feelings im healing
Im trying
I’m not one to really cry
I guess I’ll never get it
Because how could I?
I could never catch
A movie with another guy
I could never handpick
a gift for another guy
share my life with another guy
laugh and smile for another guy
how could i? how could i.
you say my definition of best friends seems
to be outdated
but its hard to adjust to modernity
and to be honest i hate it
coffee talk and movie watch
the whispers that you breathe
piece of you all over my body
and you carry pieces of me
I think ******* this is gonna hurt
if you ever decide to leave
but my heart is in the right place
and I just hope you see
I want it to be me
Always want it to be me
It might be selfish but I don’t care
Because being your soulmate
Is worth every strand of hair
You put me first and love me tender
And I want you to be happy
Wherever and with whoever
It’s just that smile of yours
My piece of heaven on earth
I wanna be the reason for that
And if its anyone else itd hurt
but you could never write
about another girl
start a life with another girl
write a book for another girl
sing lovely songs for another girl
paint the future with another
share yourself with another girl
hold and kiss another girl
so why do I care about another girl?
i wrote this about my boyfriend and his best friend who happens to be a girl. platonic friendships were/are a new concept to me and i didn't know how to comprehend that and get past my jealousy.
134 · Jul 2019
sadistic moonlight
jocelyn Jul 2019
i told the moon about you.
i told her that you wear a smile like a gun.
i told the moon that I love pain,
so i pluck the funniest anecdotes from my brain
so you could **** me over and over again.
baby, do i sound insane?
it’s just a feeling i can’t explain.
like i’m in the eye of a hurricane
like i feel the fire from the flame
like a needle injecting drugs into my veins.
it’s the type of pain that keeps me sane.
i wrote this about my boyfriend. i don't like keeping diaries much because if i have a ****** day, my diary is physical proof that it actually happened. so, when good things happen, i dont want to write it down. i'm far too excited to keep calm and collected on pen and paper. so what do i do? i talk to the moon. i talked to her about this love fueling my day to day excitement. and she listened.

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