Here, here I am
Where I’ve been all along
A toxic adventure
Made into a song

I, I can raise hell
An epic disaster
Saved by the bell

Why, why don’t I speak
I climbed up to the very top
Until I reached it’s peak

A certain destruction
A mess to clean up
Nodding my head
Please don’t interrupt

I made my case
I weaved my way
No drugs in my body
A little horse play

You, you took me away
From an epic disaster  
To never be afraid

I, I rest my case
You have my answer
Written all over your face

Give, give it away
But take some of it back
For some other day

Thanks, thank you again
For seeing a trend
Whether foe, or a friend

Investigated high and low,
Im still on the mend
I once was broken down
It won’t happen again

I’ve made some concessions
I’m only going to bend
If you can’t help yourself
At least learn how to defend

Be it alexithymia;
Emotions without words
Or “Toska”, meaning
Anguish
The pain felt is absurd
Melancholy offerings
To help the devil ween the herd
Often go unnoticed
But sometimes it’s preferred
To hide amongst the shadows
Where the silence goes unheard
And can lead to new beginnings
Or new expenses just incurred
To the downfall of an empire
Where all reality is blurred

My soul has taken its toll
For what I know and do not know
My memories, they haunt me
But I lay in bed so blissfully

I dream in color like no other
Faces and shapes a plenty
I wake to an alarm
Wondering who it is I've harmed

Hidden behind a mask
Is not an easy task
Carrying your opinions
Like a black cloak cast

Danger leads to anger
Anger leads to disaster
A fallen angel
Lay in the pasture

No pain, just laughter
The eternal savior
A course to hell
Is what I'm after

I’m an utter loser
A chemical abuser
Thrown out in the gutter
By my dad and mother

I brought this on myself
A picture of bad health
Leveling out the playing field
Crying out for help

With no direction home
No reason for a phone
This winter just won’t go away
Stuck out in the freezing cold

I’m tired and I’m weak
Bitter from defeat
When I rule the world again
I’ll stomp on peoples feet

Step over those who doubted me
Even if I have to cheat
If I find, that it works
Repeat, repeat, repeat

I see hallucinations
That block my concentration
If you have, any change
I’d appreciate your donation

I’m stressed from lack of sleep
There’s days that I don’t eat
Fighting for some scraps of food
Like I’m some sort of creep

Drugs became my friend
But not there in the end
I feel I’m suffocating
Time and time again

I will carry you
I will stand up tall
Caught up in the moment
The madness of it all
I will carry you

I will lead the way
To the mountains peek
Overcoming obstacles
That we are bound to meet
I will lead the way

I will shed some light
When the darkness falls
Beneath the moon lit night
Whenever madness calls
I will shed some light

I will comfort you
I will seize the day
I will seek the truth
I will always find a way
I will comfort you

I will love you dear
With all my heart and soul
Stripped from all your fears
Watch you as you grow
I will love you dear

I will be your man
More than words can say
Through the good and bad
Whatever comes our way
I will be your man

I will be your guide
Take me as I am
Together hand in hand
Down the mountainside
I will be your guide

I will raise the bar
In whatever shape you're in
From beginning to the end
Whether near or far
I will raise the bar

I will cast a stone
Be at your beckoned call
I'm all yours after all
No longer feel alone
I will cast a stone

I will be your knight
Wielding my metal sword
Protect you from the fight
Slice right through the cord
I will be your knight

I will meet you there
When the day is done
When victory is won
Or we both just disappear
I will meet you there,
I will meet you there
Wait for me

Harder than titanium
Slick as chicken grease
Going out to Hollywood
Coming from the east

Plastic people all around
Fake smiles saying cheese
Photogenic superstars
Trying to appease

Feeling I'm in danger
Cold from winters breeze
Praying that I'll be safe
I got held up by a thief

Asked me for my wallet
Said I'm being cheap
Masked with gun in hand
This man was a real creep

Took from me my dignity
Where is the police
Likely at a coffee shop
Waging war on peace

Rethinking my decision
This place is not for me
Needles in a homeless man's arm
That's how you catch disease

You can have your actors
Your Indians and chief
Leaving here for good
My stay was not too brief

Back to my surroundings
The company I keep
That's too much of an adventure
For anyone to see

Now you know my story
I hope to one day teach
Standing on my soapbox
Listening while I preach

No longer am I on holiday
Cleaned myself with bleach
Far from where I came from
Way too far to reach

The ocean, in its natural form
Casually taking me away from the norm
Calm and serene
Violent at times
Sand on the beach
Good to unwind
Soak up the sun
No clouds in sight
Stay through the day
Soak up the rays
And into the night
The wind on my face
The breeze due in time
Sand in my toes
The sky so divine

Rediscovered


Tinkering with this and that
Rediscovered in seconds flat
Where you are is where you’re at
Open fire, please stand back

Gathered in a creepy shed
Thunderstorms, heaven sent
The students need to be led
By the hand so they don’t get wet

Out of the cold, safe and warm
Like the day that they were born
Rise and shine, go explore
What you’ll find?
I’m not quite sure.

The end is the beginning and the process is the way, which “should” be enjoyed and cherished, every single day. Disregard all the doubt, that takes up all your time.
Nothing is for certain, so open up your mind. Seek out and find your purpose, be diligent and true. Never feel discouraged, by becoming more immune. You know yourself much better, than anyone you know. People will try to bring you down, but you’ve got to let it go. Focus on your goals instead, let nothing steer you away. Never wait until tomorrow, what you can do today.

I aspire to be
A big shot V.I.P.
Dancing with the angels
Above a sea of green

Striving for the fame
And notoriety
Failure looming large
But it means too much to me

To reach the peak
On bended knee
My body is inspired
By all of what I see

Ribbons and balloons
Catering to my needs
A bottle of champagne
To toast and well received

It's hard to know the outcome
Buying sight unseen
But the truth of the matter is
I need some validity  

***** on the inside
But the outside's very clean
Resting on my laurels
For someplace I've never been

I know that I will get there
I think we can agree
Turning nowhere into somewhere
To roam and to be free

Broken and discarded
Like a child’s toy
I’ve been broken hearted
Spun around, destroyed

Picking up the pieces
In the carpet on the ground
Looking for some answers
In the lost and found

I’ve searched high,
I’ve searches low
I’ve been pulled into the undertow
Have to breathe and just let go
It’s all simply out of my control