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173 · May 2020
Moon Shadow
Moon shadow glistening over salt water seas
Beach sand covered feet
Salt water breeze

Full moon looking like a big wheel of cheese
Calm and serine
Mind put at ease

Waves crashing at the base of the beach
The sky seems within reach
The moment
increased
By a fatal disease

Lying down;
Resting in peace
No need to worry
It’s just a figure of speech
173 · Mar 2022
No Surprise
The woods are filled with mysteries
Like the light that shines between the trees
Or an eerie silence, despite the breeze
Yet, with endless possibilities
From anybody’s point of view
That sets the stage, then sets the mood
Then gets completely misconstrued
By anything you do
It’s the existential energy
That fills my curiosity
For what’s now a monstrosity
From something that came from a seed
They climb high and touch the sky
Right before our very eyes
No electric shock or big surprise
Just a rustling through the leaves
173 · Oct 2021
On Credit
I’ve never bought on credit
Either I have it, or I don’t
I think they knew I meant it
When I said I couldn’t, and I won’t
Now everything I own is paid for
I owe not a dime to the man
I’m not saying there aren’t some downfalls
I just do the best that I can
173 · May 2019
Here I Am
Here, here I am
Where I’ve been all along
A toxic adventure
Made into a song

I, I can raise hell
An epic disaster
Saved by the bell

Why, why don’t I speak
I climbed up to the very top
Until I reached it’s peak

A certain destruction
A mess to clean up
Nodding my head
Please don’t interrupt

I made my case
I weaved my way
No drugs in my body
A little horse play

You, you took me away
From an epic disaster  
To never be afraid

I, I rest my case
You have my answer
Written all over your face

Give, give it away
But take some of it back
For some other day

Thanks, thank you again
For seeing a trend
Whether foe, or a friend

Investigated high and low,
Im still on the mend
I once was broken down
It won’t happen again

I’ve made some concessions
I’m only going to bend
If you can’t help yourself
At least learn how to defend
This poem is confusing. This was probably not my best effort. Still, I hope it somehow makes sense to you
173 · Jun 2024
The Pain I Cannot See
I’m in a battle with my own body
With a pain I cannot see
It covers me from head to toe
I’m in silent agony
It’s in my joints and muscles
And I can’t seem to find relief
I think it’s fibromyalgia
But I don’t have a degree
It’s just what I’ve learned through research
It hurts so much I cannot sleep
I’m ultra tender to the touch
I can find no sense of peace
I’ve been begging God for answers
Although I have no real belief
And I fear my prayers will fall on deaf ears
As I kneel on bended knees
I’m determined not to give up
And feel my health’s within my reach
But it’s the unknown that I’m scared of
As each day plays on repeat
172 · Mar 2022
Discovery
Discovery in the ocean air
Seagulls taking flight
Waiting on the rising tide
Before calling it a night
To sit or stand
On hot beach sand
While avoiding things that bite
It’s the sound of waves
The hot suns rays
That make the moment right
172 · Jun 2021
World On Fire
When push comes to shove
We sing of life and love and a lack thereof
And when there’s violence and revenge afoot
Restoring order we shall put
Walking the edge of a straight line
Danger lurking just behind
Hyper tension
Awareness raised
World on fire
Set ablaze
172 · Oct 2017
Chicken Grease
Harder than titanium
Slick as chicken grease
Going out to Hollywood
Coming from the east

Plastic people all around
Fake smiles saying cheese
Photogenic superstars
Trying to appease

Feeling I'm in danger
Cold from winters breeze
Praying that I'll be safe
I got held up by a thief

Asked me for my wallet
Said I'm being cheap
Masked with gun in hand
This man was a real creep

Took from me my dignity
Where is the police
Likely at a coffee shop
Waging war on peace

Rethinking my decision
This place is not for me
Needles in a homeless man's arm
That's how you catch disease

You can have your actors
Your Indians and chief
Leaving here for good
My stay was not too brief

Back to my surroundings
The company I keep
That's too much of an adventure
For anyone to see

Now you know my story
I hope to one day teach
Standing on my soapbox
Listening while I preach

No longer am I on holiday
Cleaned myself with bleach
Far from where I came from
Way too far to reach
171 · Jan 2024
Doors
They deny prying eyes
Built stern for their aim
The protectors of secrets
Of the unknown; unexplained
Crafted with purpose
To conceal what’s inside
Taking painstaking hours
Through hard work and pride
There’s no flaws that you’ll find
In its build or design
Or opportunity given
To see what’s behind
A key is their master
In command and control
The determining factor
Of what’s revealed or exposed
Without it, it’s hopeless
Left to ponder and stare
And wonder what ever happened
To the duplicate; spare
171 · Jun 2017
On Course
My soul has taken its toll
For what I know and do not know
My memories, they haunt me
But I lay in bed so blissfully

I dream in color like no other
Faces and shapes a plenty
I wake to an alarm
Wondering who it is I've harmed

Hidden behind a mask
Is not an easy task
Carrying your opinions
Like a black cloak cast

Danger leads to anger
Anger leads to disaster
A fallen angel
Lay in the pasture

No pain, just laughter
The eternal savior
A course to hell
Is what I'm after
170 · Sep 2022
Crossing The Bridge
‪She’s crossed this bridge before ‬
‪In a long forgotten dream‬
‪When she fell into the water‬
‪And was carried far upstream ‬
‪Reaching out for rocks‬
‪To slow down her increased speed‬
‪And waking up wet and sweaty ‬
‪Drowning in her sheets‬
170 · Sep 2022
The Haunted Mansion
The house was a mansion
Empty, unfilled
On cemetery foundations
They decided to build
They say it was haunted
That ghosts were abound
Sometimes there was screeching
A sheer horrendous sound
All would steer clear
None would approach
Not even the people
That steal and poach
There were gossip and stories
And as legend goes
The dead were awakened
And wiggled their toes
No longer buried
Unearthed; exposed
In search of the living
To make known their woes
169 · Feb 2017
Heart and Soul
I will carry you
I will stand up tall
Caught up in the moment
The madness of it all
I will carry you

I will lead the way
To the mountains peek
Overcoming obstacles
That we are bound to meet
I will lead the way

I will shed some light
When the darkness falls
Beneath the moon lit night
Whenever madness calls
I will shed some light

I will comfort you
I will seize the day
I will seek the truth
I will always find a way
I will comfort you

I will love you dear
With all my heart and soul
Stripped from all your fears
Watch you as you grow
I will love you dear

I will be your man
More than words can say
Through the good and bad
Whatever comes our way
I will be your man

I will be your guide
Take me as I am
Together hand in hand
Down the mountainside
I will be your guide

I will raise the bar
In whatever shape you're in
From beginning to the end
Whether near or far
I will raise the bar

I will cast a stone
Be at your beckoned call
I'm all yours after all
No longer feel alone
I will cast a stone

I will be your knight
Wielding my metal sword
Protect you from the fight
Slice right through the cord
I will be your knight

I will meet you there
When the day is done
When victory is won
Or we both just disappear
I will meet you there,
I will meet you there
Wait for me
169 · Feb 2019
The Girl of My Dreams
You will and you won’t
You do but you don’t
I can’t ever read your mind
In a sense, I’ve given up

With your twists and your turns
Your fire that burns
I cannot just watch you sitting there,
You’ve got me concerned

Just say the word
And I’ll be there for you
Wherever it is you are
I’ll meet you on the rooftops
Gazing at stars

You’ve touched my heart
Put at ease my poor soul
You do what you want to do
You’re out of control

What makes me love you
The way that I do?
You hurt me with your words, girl
Don’t deny it, it’s true

Nothing seems as memorable
As the day we last met
I spilled my drink on your dress
That every day I regret

You enter, then leave
Without saying a word
Not a “hi” or “how are you”
And act as if you haven’t heard

Whatever the future holds
Long after I’m gone
For the eternity I’ll be away
Please remain calm

Throw me a lifeline
Save me from me
You may be a lunatic at times
But you’re the girl of my dreams
Late night rambling
169 · Mar 2020
Purple Lily
This, to you, may sound silly
But I fell in love with a purple lily
I watched her grow up
From just a seed
I planted her, near a big oak tree

As I sat, and observed her bloom
Happiness, replaced my gloom
Sometime that day, mid afternoon
I wondered back, to my cocoon.
169 · Dec 2022
Change
Costume jewelry
Beads and pearls
A pretty gown
A twist
A twirl
A million ways
To right the world
Let’s start with number one
Let’s dissipate all fears
I’m open to ideas
On what to do to change the way things are
Whether near or far
Wishing on a star
Praying that it won’t leave a scar as proof
Proof that it was here
For many many years
They tell us what we want to hear
Just not the truth
The staging is all set
Moving forth without regret
While it’s prevalent
And I’m somewhat in my youth
When the damage has been done
And the stars replace the sun
That will allow us to regroup and recoup
169 · Dec 2019
Toska
"Toska - noun /ˈtō-skə/ - Russian word roughly translated as sadness, melancholia, lugubriousness.

"No single word in English renders all the shades of toska. At its deepest and most painful, it is a sensation of great spiritual anguish, often without any specific cause. At less morbid levels it is a dull ache of the soul, a longing with nothing to long for, a sick pining, a vague restlessness, mental throes, yearning. In particular cases it may be the desire for somebody of something specific, nostalgia, love-sickness. At the lowest level it grades into ennui, boredom."
— Vladimir Nabokov
I share this with you because the word “Toska”reminds me largely of the feeling of depression. In fact, it is the embodiment of the feeling I have often felt myself. The way it is described here supersedes anything I could come up with. Therefore I simply copied and pasted the definition. The definition itself is, in a way, poetry. So I saw it fit to share here, on this site.
169 · Jan 2018
High/Low Times
I’m an utter loser
A chemical abuser
Thrown out in the gutter
By my dad and mother

I brought this on myself
A picture of bad health
Leveling out the playing field
Crying out for help

With no direction home
No reason for a phone
This winter just won’t go away
Stuck out in the freezing cold

I’m tired and I’m weak
Bitter from defeat
When I rule the world again
I’ll stomp on peoples feet

Step over those who doubted me
Even if I have to cheat
If I find, that it works
Repeat, repeat, repeat

I see hallucinations
That block my concentration
If you have, any change
I’d appreciate your donation

I’m stressed from lack of sleep
There’s days that I don’t eat
Fighting for some scraps of food
Like I’m some sort of creep

Drugs became my friend
But not there in the end
I feel I’m suffocating
Time and time again
This is not my story, but it is someone’s
169 · Apr 2022
How The River Cures
how the river cures
this malady of yearning

Quenching the thirst of a dried up old root
And where no fisherman goes hungry
That has ever cast his rod
And when the lonely and the sick come calling
We listen, with an open-ear, and nod
169 · Jul 2023
Born Rebels
Forged in their youth for rebellion
Through hardships of need versus want
They sweat and they bleed
For profit and greed
And they’re made to believe what they’re taught
A rebellion was a foregone conclusion
When everything is a made up illusion
Put in place to deceive
Their focus and dreams
With a filled head of lies and confusion
They don’t have a leg they can stand on
No leverage to balance control
Just a misguided youth
Without knowledge or truth
And can’t do anything, but do what they’re told
168 · Jul 2021
Aged And Weathered
Aged and weathered
Desert dry

Years gone in just a blinking eye

Fractured moments of years past

Searched for through an hour glass

A prayer

A wish
That time stands still

Over your shoulder

Not over the hill

The inevitable

And dreams fulfilled
168 · Jun 2022
Aged To Perfection II
Exquisite and beautiful
A hypnotic trance
That adds to the beauty
Of the forbidden dance
Your edgy new movements
Perfected; enhanced
Like the meeting of lovers
In an encounter of chance
That soothes the spirit
And lessens the grind
Then aged to perfection
Like expensive wine
168 · Oct 2018
A Thousand Tries
Open wide
I’ll claim my prize      
A thousand ways, a thousand tries
A perfect trap if I’m not wise
Focused, driven, hypnotized
Searching for you far and wide
A hallucination, I just realized
A pink pig flying in the skies
A conglomerate, an enterprise
It’s too late, I’ve been deprived
Hidden under a grand disguise
Willfully falling to my own demise
Accepting fate, I shall again arise
I’ll greet you there, I’ll compromise
And adjust our lives to coincide
This conclusion of what I’ve done surmised
A deal, a rift, to my surprise
All gone wrong, so I improvised
For good or bad, we’re intertwined
Fictitious enough to blow ones mind.
I suppose this is one big design
No attachments to unseal our bind
Just more steps that I must climb
A time to rest and unwind
Yet somehow I can’t avoid the crime
To heavens gate, where the sun does shine
167 · Oct 2017
Surprise
Sanity, insanity
Loud and proud, transparency
Visualize, close your eyes
If need be, fantasize
Love and hate, or despise
Count your sheep, hypnotized
Stand up to, or run and hide
Problems large, or magnified
Veer off course, or stay in stride
Lift you up, or fall behind
Feeling loved, romanticize
Losing, lost, won the prize
Disregard, at least you tried
All of it to my surprise
167 · Jun 2022
Northern Lights
Northern lights revealed
An awe inspiring view
Along the hills and mountains
Here, sitting next to you
The skies lit up
In a multicolored array
On the cutting edge
Because we know no other way
Mystic and mysterious
Jupiter and Mars
Romantically disposed
Underneath the stars
166 · Apr 2018
Hush, I Hear You
A blank stare
In one ear and out the other
I hear you but I’m not listening
Have way too much on my mind
Here but not here
Pour me another glass of wine
Traditional conversations
Answering questions with questions
Verbally confused
I’m the painter
You’re my muse
Discovering the beauty in your eyes
How have I never seen this before
Your words become clear
Hovering around my ears
Starting to sink in now
I hear you
Can’t live without you
Hush
I hear you
I’m all ears
No need for your tears
I’m listening now
All my problems fade away
Hold you in my arms
Everything will be alright
Squeeze you with all my might
Never letting go
Hush
I hear you
166 · Jan 2023
Orange Butterflies
Two illuminated butterflies
Are dancing in the air
Giving off an orange glow
To which nothing else compares
Frolicking and fluttering
Around the humans hands
That are reaching out to touch them
Or to see if one will land
166 · Jul 2022
In Cahoots
The moon is in cahoots
With the sun and stars
Also with Uranus, Jupiter, and Mars
The shimmer in the stream
Is for poetry and dreams
Planets in our galaxy
Share a certain theme
All the stars stand out
Regardless of their shine
I know yours and mine
Will stand the test of time
166 · Feb 25
Levitation
I levitate on grass
Praying for the pain to pass
A distraction for my weary mind
Until I’m free at last

My body, though it hurts
I’ve seen and been through worse
An unapologetic curse
Inflamed, about to burst

But, I take it all in stride
Riding the waves at low and high tides
Using only a moral compass as guide
To navigate my turbulent life

My mind frame is unwell and unkept
Sunken down to the darkening depths
I swim up to reach air
Although I’m still unprepared
For the moment my life turns to death 💀
166 · Jul 4
Wings Like A Bird
I still remain cautious
I’ve talked with the dead
I listened and learned to all that was said
They spoke about horrors
About the things they had done
Flying like Icarus into the sun
I wasn’t judgmental
I let them speak their peace
I just stood there while gazing
Watching their demons release
Into the cosmos
Beget or be gone
Nurture your offspring
Don’t string them along
And your prayers will be answered
Your voice will be heard
Then you can fly like an angel
With wings like a bird
165 · Jan 2021
Float On By
‪The clouds adapted to fit the sky‬
‪They caught wind and then my eye‬
‪The frame, a royal blue hue‬
‪Its potential peaked, yet goes unused‬
‪The clouds fan out as they float on by‬
‪Gravity, they can defy‬
‪Shady cover overhead ‬
‪From the heat and rays the sun sends‬
165 · Dec 2021
A Holiday Poem
Mittens for kittens
Gifts under tree
Filled up red stockings
For you and for me
Ornaments a plenty
Food and good times
Home for the holidays
With jingle bell chimes
A year full of mischief
On the good list or bad
But it’s all in good spirits
There’s still fun to be had
165 · Dec 2021
Off The Charts
She sees her own reflection
She spins to slip away
Enjoying every moment
Until her dying day
An alternate dimension
Two worlds far apart
But both look up to the stars
Somewhere off the charts
164 · Sep 2022
Bound To Erupt
‪There’s grumbling down inside the earth‬
‪It can’t stomach or digest‬
‪The pollution that mankind’s created ‬
It ‪seems that humankind’s digressed‬
‪There’s plastic in the oceans‬
‪The ozone layer’s marred ‬
‪The forest’s been depleted ‬
‪The entire planet’s scarred‬
‪Just another piece of plastic
We can’t wait to discard‬
Warnings told, but nothing bold
Has been done by those in charge
Even though there’s global warming happening
In their own backyards
164 · Feb 2022
Gone Fishing
Fishing for some answers
In a sea of broken ice
Frozen for a moment
But the moment’s kinda nice
Catching every minute
Paying every price
Meticulous in nature
Precisionally precise
Painting every picture
Without thinking twice
You may never get the answer
But always roll the dice
164 · Sep 2024
Why’d You Leave?
I’m shattered, smashed, and ruptured
I’m pitted, dipped, and cleft
There’s sorrow in the depths of my soul
Ever since you left
My life seems out of rhythm
Gone is the pounding in my chest
The love I felt has vanquished
I’m defeated and depressed
You crushed the very essence
Of the love we often shared
It hit me like a whirlwind
I was completely unprepared
And now I run on empty
As if you never cared
I would’ve thought our kinship
Was one you could’ve spared
163 · Apr 2018
Another Rainy Day
There’s a place I stare out to
High up in the sky
It’s in the black of night
Searching for a shooting star
Just within my sight

I pray, I wish
I constantly ask why
Waiting for an answer
Or a spaceship passing by

Round and round
Spinning like a top
Lifted off the ground
Dizzy till I drop

Clouds impair my vision
Raindrops in my eyes
I’ve set out on a mission
Yet I’m still here asking why

I’m heading towards a collision
When the sun and moon collide
Multiple decisions
Along for the ride

Not sure where I’m headed
Avoiding the solution
The answer I already know
Please forgive my intrusion

I’m just like every other
With wonder and with pride
Had I listened to my mother
I’d have taken it in stride

Instead I was a rebel
Finding shortcuts all the time
As foggy as the clouds above
The rain still in my eyes
163 · Jul 2022
Breathtaking
‪I wish it were me‬
You were dying to see
‪Enviously ‬
‪Your imaginary dream‬
‪The one you talk and write about‬
‪For forever; endlessly ‬
‪The one that captures your breath‬
‪That won’t let you breathe‬
‪For the love of seduction‬
‪Not maliciously‬
‪But irresistibly, …yours‬
163 · Jan 2022
Aging
He’s young at heart
But he’s over the hill
He doesn’t act his age
But someday he will
He’ll get old and wrinkly
With new aches and pains
A walk in the park
And his energy’s drained
His mentality will waiver
His memory, fade
But he’ll never surrender
No matter his age
163 · Aug 2024
Young Love
I remember moments of bliss
Which takes me back to the time
When our two lips kissed
And you became mine
We knew not what love was
But we loved our time shared
Like the games that we played
Hide and seek, truth or dare
Those are the times
Which none can compare
And in your eyes I stared
Like a breath of fresh air

A smile, a wink
Holding hands in the park
Made up of magic
That ignited a spark
Innocent and pure
We danced and we sang
Laughing out loud
Seemingly nothing to gain
Only lighthearted fun
Under trees in the sun
And when all was said and done
Our victories were won
And although they were small
We stood proud and stood tall
Because we had each other
In the fall, after all
162 · Oct 2021
Purple Dreams
She spread out her arms
But not to fly away
Inhaling all the wisdom blurbs
People feel free enough to say
Salt in air and purple dreams
Waves crashing in the seas
Fragrances of lavender
Amidst the rocks and leaves
Sun soaked and casual
Finally at peace
162 · Oct 2017
Ocean
The ocean, in its natural form
Casually taking me away from the norm
Calm and serene
Violent at times
Sand on the beach
Good to unwind
Soak up the sun
No clouds in sight
Stay through the day
Soak up the rays
And into the night
The wind on my face
The breeze due in time
Sand in my toes
The sky so divine
162 · Oct 2021
The Leaning Tree
The stars come out and masquerade
Through the sky on full display
Resting on a bed of leaves
Just under the leaning tree
That grew tall along the grassy knoll
Crooked over earth and stone
The sun must say it’s last goodbye
To make way for the diamond sky
Jewels in clusters
Stay bright at night
To reach the stars and hold on tight
162 · Mar 2021
Beams Of Light
Beams of lights reflecting
Off the clouds on sunny days
Hovering over sea and land
Disbursing the suns rays
Brightening up the majestic sky
In different shades of blue
In a brilliant effortless way
Vanquishing all gloom
162 · Jan 2020
Common Rule
Sometimes separation’s good
To alleviate dissension
Walking away is best
Helps to dissolve the tension
Opinions can be fact or fiction
Make you mad; send you off into another dimension
That’s just how it is
There are no restrictions
Best to be the better man
If you know the distinction
I was told I had potential
That I could do great things
But nothing has transpired
Into the glory that it brings
And so the bar gets lowered
As far as it can go
Until, it can get no lower
To the depths of the unknown
Perspective is welcomed greatly
Opinions come and go

Focus is elusive
As well, the ebb and flow
Focus is elusive
As well, the ebb and flow

Now I'm stagnant without direction
As the years pass and I grow old
The consensus is its never too late
At least that's what I've been told

It's far, so far beyond my vision
Down that long and winding road
I thought I held it in my grasp
But it slipped right through the fold
Perspective is welcomed greatly
Opinions come and go
Focus is elusive
As well the ebb and flow
Focus is elusive
As well, the ebb and flow
161 · Sep 2021
Between The Trees
Rays come down like golden strings
Powdered with fairy dust and angels wings
Then slips in close, between the trees
No room for a subtle breeze
Shimmer into the faded
Where shadows go to die
The sun beams shoot like laser beams
Brightening up the sky
Shielded by the darkness
Where my shade of green trees reign
In between the peeking light
That’s where my thoughts of you remain
161 · Nov 2021
The Latter Years
Down the path they walk
No need for chat or talk
They know each other all too well
For in love, they both fell
Now that some time has passed
Their latter years have come
They now walk together, hand-in-hand
Towards the setting sun
161 · Oct 2022
My Swan
You became my poetry
My confidant, my bliss
My sweetest little darling
Irresistible to kiss
You’re an angel without wings
That I cannot resist
Fallen down into my arms
I’m elated you exist
A diamond in the rough
My other half, my swan
I’ll love you till eternity
Or till one of us is gone
161 · Mar 2024
Always 10 Ren
Always 10, Ren
Is back at it again
His heart’s on the mend
From the loss of close friends
At such a young age
He couldn’t dodge or evade
The wars being waged
Right in front of his face
Still, onwards he raged
His perspective was changed
Then stricken with illness
That caused indescribable pain
And for nearly a decade
It ate away at his brain
Misdiagnosed and untreated
He felt psychotic; insane
Until he met the right doctor
Using money, he himself raised
And then began healing
To douse, quench the flame
Which in turn, set the stage
For his songs and displays
Expressing emotions, in many various ways
Not for stardom, or praise
Or what the audience craves
It’s just what’s required to ease, tame the pain in his brain
Sometimes, words are no solace
Words can’t describe, or explain
But it can be heard in his music
That’s been written, arranged
And that can heal, as can the medicine, being shot in his veins
Just as well, for his audience
Who remain amazed, entertained
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