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Jamison Bell Nov 2019
Just hand me the world
I’ll give you my life
I’ll dust it free
Of peace and strife
I’ll put the horse before the cart
And where you finish is where I’ll start
Just put it here upon my shoulder
I’ll be right here when it gets colder
I promise not to fumble this
Muddled world of **** and ****
Just let me wipe it shiny new
Remake this world just for you
Jamison Bell Oct 2019
I want to write about you
I really do
I want to tell the world about you
Remind it just how lucky it is to have you
How it is the night falls down around your face
The things you hate about yourself that I love
How the best way to warm up a cold room is to make you laugh
But I can’t
As hard as I try, I can’t
Because as it turns out
I never really knew you at all
Jamison Bell Oct 2019
I’ll only be able to write you
As I knew you way back when
All those moments that we laughed together
Every now and then
Now you’re out there somewhere
And I can only hope that you are well
Just remember you have a friend
Named Jamison ****** Bell
Jamison Bell Oct 2019
From my porch it looks black, the tree
It stands alone upon a crest in the field. The sun takes hold of its roots every morning. Pulls itself up over the horizon.
I haven’t walked out there. I prefer to know the tree as I see it from my porch. A callous and charred reminder of the cruelty of time. Screaming silently in stark contrast to the onslaught of a new day.
I can’t imagine not seeing that tree every morning. I don’t want to. And yet I can’t tell it how much it means to me. How I’ll feel if I wake up one day and it’s gone.
Just as that tree has but a few branches left as do I people that matter to me. And just like that tree. These people couldn’t possibly fathom the heart gutting angst the loss of them would cause me.
Tonight a billion photons will bounce off the moon and land in the arms of that tree. While I get high on the porch and mourn the fact that much like these people I do covet. I’ll never mean as much to this ****** tree as it does to me.
Jamison Bell Oct 2019
It’s hard for me to explain to you exactly why I’m here
Just take a hit off this bowl and I’ll try to make it clear
I really have no idea
I was kinda hoping you’d tell me
Jamison Bell Oct 2019
There was once a path in the woods, ‘‘tis what the natives say
A place you should not venture, should you ever lose your way
There’s a path for the harvest moon, and one that’s best in blue
But beware yourself the wolf moon, lest you know what’s good for you

There lived an old woman, an ashen cabin wrought with many curses
When her boy was slain by wolves, she recited bible verses
And though god chose not to listen, as she begged him for salvation
The devil heard her sermon, and offered reparations

“Present your boy to the first full moon and bathe him in its light
Then lay him down upon the path and leave him for the night
You’ll have your boy back in your arms by dawn the very latest
And by my act you will see that god is the only sadist

Though there will be times when the debt must be returned
There are always little consequences, lessons to be learned
On each full moon your boy will become a ferocious raging beast
He’ll reap for me another soul for every man’s a feast”

The devil kept his promise and her boy he did well rise
And come the next full moon she saw the devil tells no lies
Before each full moon ever-after she’d chain him in the wood
He’d cry and scream and curse her soul as she did what she could

Until it was the old woman was bitten by the devil as a snake
He had not received his souls for his debt she did foresake
The tree with all its claw marks would stand alone next new moon
And the people of these lands would know horror all too soon

They say the devil watched as the monster ripped into its mother
Her soul the first to go, before he sought about another
The devil took the mother’s soul in his arms and waltzed her out the door
In his strife with god he let the beast set straight the score

If you look upon the somber rock where the earth and moon collide
To the west, and stay down low for its best that you should hide
You’ll see the devil dancing with his lovely maiden fair
While her son hunts in the forest for those that don’t beware
Jamison Bell Oct 2019
To be honest
It’s ****** twisted
The things I listed
The reasons why
I love you

Though to lie
I’m ****** wrecked
When left unchecked
The reasons why
I hate you
Jamison Bell Oct 2019
The dusty road hath grown grey
Time has been here too
A nomad appears from the east
And I ask of you

Tell me where the flowers grow
In hues of red and black
Tell me where the sun was last
And when will she be back

A tired wind pushed him forth
For he had spoken not a word
I wrote I love you on a ravens back
And I cursed that ominous bird

Cigarettes and crescent moons
Dead soldiers on the ground
We could say a thousand words
And never make a sound

You told me once long ago
How you wished it ought to be
And through the dark and stormy nights
‘‘Twas you I longed to see

Shall I set the world afire
To help you find your way
Perhaps if I destroy it all
Then maybe you’d stay
Jamison Bell Sep 2019
Mired in a trance
The cigarette bites my finger
I hold it under the faucet until it tells me it’s name and who sent it
My mind is saturated with the thought of thee, I bite my thumb at you!
Flinging open these ******* shutters, hoping for a flirt and flutter
So I can squeeze the life out of Nevermore
Cursed reminder from the Nights Plutonian shore
There’s no fire here but every time you come waltzing onto my train of thought, my whiskey bottle becomes a little lighter
Jamison Bell Sep 2019
You’re the Prometheus of my soul.
Setting my world afire.
Only to leave me wandering an ashen landscape.
Tracing out my thoughts in the grey.
The clouds remind me of the smoke in your eyes.
While I follow these footprints in the dust of moments gone by.
Hoping one of them is you.
Jamison Bell Sep 2019
I’ve given you my ****** heart!
I’ve wept for those torn apart!
Really folks, what does it take?
Fourteen words to describe a lake.

I’ve written of darkness and lasting pain.
Raised the question to if I’m insane!
Perhaps to you, it doesn’t matter.
You’re only here to lie and flatter.

Really though, what is all this?
A digital spot to ***** and ****?
Tapping out our daily woes.
In the hope of reaching a few lost souls?

Passionate pieces and playful taunts.
Forgotten moments, remembered wants?
Why don’t she love you? You’re not worthy.
You got ****** up teeth and a bout with scurvy.

Look, I get it, you’re looking for meaning.
A demon ***** with eyes a gleaming.
But it’s not here, not by a stretch.
Just a thousand writers and a ****** wretch.
Jamison Bell Sep 2019
Where I woke upon a grassy knoll
Took off my shoes to take a stroll
I stopped over there to pack my bowl, smell her hair, and pay the troll.

I stumbled here and over there
Not that you or I should care
But I’ll have you know I’m quite aware, not really though, you can’t compare.

Yes I know, it makes no sense
I present this bowl in my defense
Just hit it once and you’ll know whence, the evidence of my pretense.

“Good hit? Great. Yeah I was just trying to say I passed out in the park wearing women’s shoes. It was nice when I woke up so I took a walk. Smoked under the weeping willow, paid somebody’s parking meter before the maid got there, I took a header crossing the street to get here, and I wanted you to smoke with me so you could tell me it’s good and I’m not crazy. And you’re out of beer.”
Jamison Bell Sep 2019
I’ll say to Dante and Virgil what Coen said when he stood before the Lord of Song. With a frosty breath I’d save just for them to take back to you. And they could tell you how it was they found me cast in the ice of a lake void of light at the bottom of a well. And perhaps then, before the fireflies scatter before the sapphire skies. Whilst the dew on your lips remains warm and sweet. You’ll think of me and smile.
Jamison Bell Sep 2019
I’d love to stay and chat, but if I don’t tilt these windmills before the high wears off I fear they’ll abscond away with my purpose during the night.  
It’s an illusion for sure, but it’s mine. Crafted out of fear it walks in front of my shadow before every setting sun. A lumbering tangled tragedy.
Suffer me not should you find my sincerity to be askew. Cast your earth upon me and bid me ado. Lest I become that which you loath and thereby myself.
Your coffee grows cold and my mule died last night, again. And yet this morning I’ll ride that steed off to meet the day. The same day from the day before.
Fret not, your confusion is entertained and I The never good enough Knight of a broken table will leave it to the days to come to forget I was here.
I’ve died a thousand times trying to get over the rainbow and unknowingly breached every rule that would have garnered a love to span the stars.
So tired is the day that carries my woes. Endeavoring an idea as foolish as the ones that preceded it. Dogs that come home to die under the porch.
My banner in shreds to whims of a southerly wind. Decorated in celebration to my victorious battles. Thus it is just an old t shirt of a smiley face.
I had to throw you up amongst the celestial backdrop of my dreams so that if I needed you, for once, you’d be there. Asleep behind the wheel of my every thought.
Jamison Bell Sep 2019
I imagine you’re sitting there. Listening intently. Hanging onto every word until the next one comes along. There are bottles on the counter and nobody cares what time it is.
A mist of existential reconciliation permeates the room and that ****** candle just will not die. Your eyes are doing that thing again. Where the spirit of the one caught by them, longs to throw itself to their mercy.
You’re going to smile and the room might as well fold in on itself because nothing else will matter at that moment. The moon tries so hard to get a glimpse but the blinds are pulled.
And I, the wretched Hop Frog (it’s a Poe reference), clawing away at my chest from another world away. Desperately trying to get at my heart, if for no other reason than to prove that it’s there.
Jamison Bell Sep 2019
Tracing fingers through the puddles of condensation laid out by a sweating rocks glass. Tangent timelines spreading out across the cosmos like dendrites reaching for that forgotten memory.
I live with the apparitions left behind by the things you’ve said. They follow me around from place to place. They smoke with me, they drink with me, and they remind me. Every single ******* day, they remind me. That you were right.
You laughed when I gave the Devil his cut because you think he doesn’t exist. And yet he does. In the details. The fine print to the contract we signed with our first breath that reads you can try and try and try and the Devil may care if you do but you probably never will. And that’s just the first lick from the whip you have to take and they don’t get any softer.
The ghosts of your words not withstanding. I still check my phone. They laugh at me but I do it anyway. It’s like holding my hand to a candle every five minutes to see if it still burns. So to keep the blisters at bay. I trace out lines in the condensation until the moisture runs out and I began again. Like I do everyday. Without you.
Aug 2019 · 165
I only want one jar
Jamison Bell Aug 2019
You make me wish time could be like jars of honey. Where I could take a particular week down from the shelf. On those nights when the wind is trying to claw its way in. And it would still be good. I could slip between the flames and wake up in your eyes. Darin reminds us of Mack the Knife and your bishop is in check but we can’t stop laughing about the sad gorilla. Therein lies the life I’ll tell them about. If there be a thousand more lives. This is the one to be remembered. Because of that one jar of honey.
Jamison Bell Aug 2019
When I saw you there in the rain. The red light from the drugstore sign draped over your shoulders. Your hair clinging to your cheeks and how the raindrops fell from your lips. And I thought about what you’d said before. That time in the car.
You went out and bought that fragrance. And I remember because the sun was about to call it a night. So it kissed you on the cheeks and I could see your breath as you let out a longing sigh. Your cheeks, left in a soft crimson afterglow.
Since then. I’ve been pondering whether or not I should cut out my tongue. Lest I say those words in the wrong order. The ones that can’t be taken back. The ones that stain the fabric of what we’ve woven. Though there are times I’m sure I was working this loom alone.
And so Andromeda waltzes onto the celestial stage in a dress of light and smoke. Wistfully twirling about a star speckled landscape as mysterious as she is mesmerizing. She leaves me with an enchanting sadness.
Exhausted fingers fall in thuds on the keyboard. Tired of raging against the might of apathy they trudge through a swamp of words. Scouring the sludge in hopes of finding just the right combination.
Before the echo of an empty whiskey bottle awakens the moon again. And the coyotes emerge from the tree lines to beg the moon for forgiveness. Could you tell me again? Could you tell me why? Just one more time.
Jamison Bell Aug 2019
I wish I could be like you
So happy
Light and free
I wish I could be like you
Anyone but me
Jamison Bell Aug 2019
So you want to skin a rattler
Don’t worry I know how
Don’t ask me how I know
Just go get me a towel

First Ned Stark the head
Just throw it in the fire
Do the same with the rattle
Except spare it from the pyre

Now rinse off the body
Soap and water’s fine
Make sure to rinse off all the soap
Don’t leave that **** behind

Now get yourself a razor
Slice that ****** neck to tail
Center down the belly
Careful not to flail

Now pull the skin back from the top
Evenly with both hands
Be careful not to tear it
Or your piece won’t be so grand

Once you have removed the skin
Tack it to a board
Inside up and salt that ****
Those ants will come to board

Now when the hyde is dry
While in your muderous glow
Put the **** up on the wall
And pretend that you’re Rambo
Jamison Bell Aug 2019
I hope one day you forgive yourself.

I hope you never have to know how much it hurts.

I hope you’ll turn to face the sun, so it can tell the universe just how beautiful you are.

I hope that you’ll see who I see when I look at you.

I hope a butterfly lands on you.

I hope one day you cry because you’re happy.

I hope that someone tickles your heart.

I hope you get to live at least one dream.

I hope I see you before you see me. So that I can have a moment. To court you, love you, and leave you. Before you do the same to me.

I hope. Not for me. For you.
Jamison Bell Aug 2019
I don’t suppose they’ll ask what happened or where the music went
Just like they never asked what happened the day I woke up bent
And of course why would they wonder why about that day I smiled
I told them all to wait right there and I’d be back in a little while
A winter or two came and went and yet I hadn’t returned
There’s happiness in my absence and this I know they learned
So now I sit and wait it out as drunk and high as ****
This life of mine I wish it done cause I am out of luck
Jamison Bell Aug 2019
It comes from feeling incomplete
Loneliness
It’s a poison
Eventually it gets to be too much
And the cure
It isn’t just someone
It’s the one
The hand in the dark
The one that smiles when you walk into a room
The whisper that asks if you’re ok
Absent these things
The loneliness thrives
Until the soul says enough
Jamison Bell Aug 2019
There are jackals outside
The candle died and the clock mourned her
There are things we will never tell one another
Truth is a murderer of many things
The cat fell asleep on top of the pizza box
I still ate it
The pizza
What would happen to the light in your eyes
If you knew
Would they, could they get brighter
Or would they fade to black
Like we did
There are jackals outside
And I’m going out there
Jamison Bell Aug 2019
Draw a circle around me.
Now go stand over there.
You can have the rest of the world.
I only want what you think I deserve.
Aug 2019 · 108
Funny things
Jamison Bell Aug 2019
It’s a funny thing.
When you find out.
Just how little your worth.
In the eyes of those you love.
Kinda knocks the life out of you.
Literally.
Jamison Bell Aug 2019
If you’re wondering
Upon a grassy hill
One fine day
And in your wondering
You wonder
If I’m out there
Somewhere
On another grassy hill
Wondering to myself
And in my wonder
I find you?
Everyday.
Jamison Bell Aug 2019
Foresight isn’t knowing what’s going to happen before it happens. It’s having learned from the past.

The artic Fox has a higher success rate in hunting mice when it’s aligned with the earths magnetic field. Now with that in mind, how can you stand there and tell me I don’t love you.

I fixed the immigration issue. I also fixed the patent office issue. I solved homelessness as well. While fixing the immigration issue I also solved the nationwide nursing shortage. I fixed Detroit. I also created a new fad that should stop the brits from slaughtering so many sharks. And I found that if you make it a habit to not say “go **** yourself” when asked about your day. People are less likely to want to hit you.

When I close my eyes
She’s drenched in blue light
Like that of a distant star
That died long ago
When I opened my eyes

When I was 7 I was sitting by myself on the balcony of my dads apartment. I watched the kid that lived across the parking lot in another building take out his trash.
He carried out four bags. Him and his little sister were left alone a lot like my brother and I.
I didn’t like that kid much. I remember that. His little sister was nice. She’d play on the swings with me. I think he was around 12/13. She was my age.
The next morning there were cop cars everywhere. Policemen asking people questions. My dad later told me what happen. Turned out his little sister was in those trash bags.
Jamison Bell Jul 2019
You said you’d be there
Your words fell on me like the tears of a mourning sun
Who weeps for the raven who had no moon to talk to the night before
I remember
Because it gave me hope
A candle I could cup in my hand against the winds
So that one day, should I survive the rains, I could bring the light back to you
And we could finally set the earth on fire
Jul 2019 · 189
I wish I was more like you.
Jamison Bell Jul 2019
Light behaves as both a particle and a wave.
A day on Venus is longer than it’s year.
Polar bears aren’t even white.
Everything I see has already happened so I’m always in the past.
Love is just a biochemical/psychological response to external stimuli.
There’s a good chance nothing is real.
I don’t actually have free will.
The mind named itself.
This could all be a simulation.
There’s real lemon juice in furniture polish but lemonade is made with artificial flavors.
And every decision creates a new timeline.
I guess I’ll have the chicken marsala.
Jamison Bell Jul 2019
When you can say with no doubt
That you’d be willing to do it all over again
To suffer the same failures, losses, pains, and tragedies
Because you know at some point
You’re going to meet that one person
And even though you already know how it’s going to end
You’re going to lift that needle up and play that song again
Because it’s just that beautiful
Jamison Bell Jul 2019
She stares into the sun
As memories cascade over her
In hues like the northern lights
She bathes herself in these dreams
Only smiling when the storms pass through
Jul 2019 · 188
Ya like dags?
Jamison Bell Jul 2019
People,
To me.
Are like puppies.
Adorably naive monsters.
That will inevitably
**** on my life at any given moment.
They’re not to be trusted.
Jamison Bell Jul 2019
I don’t know who I was when
In relation
To who I am now
Whoever it was
Whatever their manners be
I know for certain
They never stopped writing
Because
No matter how hard I try
I can’t stop writing
It’s my mistress
Sure she’s reliable
Reliably psychotic
It’s like trying **** for the first on a dingy in a maelstrom
I’m guessing there
Either way, it’s just a compulsion I can’t stray from
Like her
The storms muse
Jamison Bell Jul 2019
The mightiest of hero’s
Known both far and wide
Long to fight in battles
Standing by his side

They tell tales of his deeds
Banner men and the squires
Of how he used the rivers
To dose the dragon fires

Kings and lords envy him
The maidens trail behind
They say he’s not just mighty
They say he’s also kind

It’s said he rains down lightening
Thunder from the skies
They say his farts are noxious
And he shoots lasers from his eyes

Jaxon is the mightiest
Of Vikings and the like
Just ask his latest foe
His head is on that pike

So let his tales be known
Lest trouble should come near
If Jaxon is around
There is nothing there to fear
Jamison Bell Jul 2019
If there’s any correlation
To be drawn
Between loneliness
And what kind of a person you are
I’m ******
Jamison Bell Jul 2019
When the hammer hits the primer and the gods ask me what I’ve done. And my last breath leaves me to join the breeze headed for the shores. I’ll tell them that I found my answer. My answer to the question that has no answer. My singularity. I’ll tell them I found you.
Jamison Bell Jul 2019
I can’t love you
And I can’t **** you
So
I’m going to drink this here poison
And wait for you to die
Jamison Bell Jul 2019
I wouldn’t ride in on a noble steed.
It’d be a tauntaun.
Much like myself it would smolder with hatred and be high. All the time.
I’m going to **** in your garden before I knock on your door.
I’ll accidentally **** on the fairies in your garden. They’ll never let it go.
My tauntaun is going to attempt to mount your unicorn.
If you live in a mushroom, I’m going to lick it.
I’ll take you down by ******* river to watch the nymphs do battle with the pixies.
It’s a racial thing.
Our centaur waiter will bring us pork and meade.
I’ll mock his political views and we’ll be asked to leave.
You’ll like be horrified that I feed my tauntaun the hopes and dreams of children.
I’ll ask to accompany you to rainbow valley for a stroll amongst the fireflies of bliss.
You’ll comply because rohypnol.
By the time you come back around. I will have burnt down rainbow valley and the fireflies of bliss have been pimped out to the honeybees of discontent.
You’ll be unscathed. Don’t flatter yourself. It’s a first date. You could be ripe with chlamydia.
By the time we get back to your ****** up house of fungus. We will have grown weary of one another.
We feign a hug and go our separate ways. You’re going to go cry in the shower of happiness and I’m going to fight a homeless leprechaun.
Jamison Bell Jul 2019
When every word just makes you feel that much colder
And the dirt of everything you hold dear turns to mud
When you can’t escape the futility of your own existence
And so you pour another drink because numb has to be bought
Knuckles turning white because if you let go you’ll fall
And you’re afraid of what sleeps in the clouds you’ll fall through
Cascading memories parading through your mind
And not a one of them give a **** about you now
Jul 2019 · 157
If you ask me.
Jamison Bell Jul 2019
What would it take?
The breath of me perhaps?
For you to see
The pieces of who I was
Chiseled scraps of memories
Littering the floor around me
Would you have loved that person
Before time took its hammer to me
Jamison Bell Jul 2019
I don’t care if you see me. I’d much rather you see you through me.
Don’t think me a fool. There’s no pedestal for you there.
Take solace instead. That there’s no guillotine either.
It’s just a tempest. A swirling **** of colors and lights.
You could say that it’s like watching the northern lights. While lying on a bed of nails.
And what you don’t see, that pangs me the most.
Is the capacity you have to make others feel better about themselves.
Just by being you.
Jul 2019 · 139
No heart no home
Jamison Bell Jul 2019
You’re a crack shack of a human being
I’m a **** lab of a human being
‘‘Tis not a mansion that gets built between us
Jamison Bell Jun 2019
I want you, raw
I want to see the artwork that is you under red lights
The ***** unedited you
Before you’ve had a second chance to come back around
Trying to hide those things you don’t want me to see
Show me the raw meat
Or nothing at all
Jamison Bell Jun 2019
Looking back
Remembering how it slipped between your fingers
Like that golden sand that you imagined was real
And even though the shimmer fades
As the day slinks off
And the wolves start serenading the moon
That one grain of sand remains in the palm of my hand
Perhaps it’s hope
Or just a reminder
Of a dream unrealized
Jun 2019 · 105
If I could choose my dream
Jamison Bell Jun 2019
It’s like standing before a sun that pauses at the horizon before spilling out over the ocean
Or when you find yourself alone with Hephaestus and you know there are demons just beyond the firelight
Even as if it were one of those gifts you receive simply because the person saw it and thought of you
Yeah. It’s like that. That’s when you know. When those ancient celestial photons actually fight to be the light in her eyes. And you fall face first for the person she is when she thinks no one is watching.
Jun 2019 · 95
That night you told me so
Jamison Bell Jun 2019
Does it warm you
To think me cold
Cast down
Settling like starlight
Upon a landscape of pelted glass
Broken and scattered
Save for those few moments
Wherein the truth fell out
And pour over your eyes
Like a warm spring rain
Was I there
In the room
Jamison Bell Jun 2019
Even when you realize
That they know not what they do
It doesn’t sting any less
There’s no balm in pity
Just more sorrow
Derived from the fact
That you can die
Alone
Even after leading by example
Because they weren’t looking
Jun 2019 · 142
empty bucket
Jamison Bell Jun 2019
Love is a halfwit
A fool that tears out of the gate
Running towards a setting sun
Hoping to hold a light that can’t be held
Left to fumble around in the dark
Like blind cat in a room full of rocking chairs
While we as drunken losses
Intoxicated by an ideology
Just smile and rock
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