I remember the moss. It looked like a worn out dried up mop. Silhouetted against the moon in a puddle of rainwater in the parking lot. I wandered the celestial remnants of history. Running my fingers through starlight just to feel the photons slip over my palm. I thought about those times, the people, and the places. Bytes upon bytes of useless data. I understood in that moment. As the smell of raspberries filled the room. That I alone can't even determine my own significance to the universe. Whether or not I served a purpose will forever be a mystery to me.
I thought of you. I didn't smile.
Then the timer went off on my toaster and my pop tarts were ready.
Oh well.

Thank you for the drink young lady. Though I would be remiss. If I were to take my leave of you without suggesting this. It may not be my place or it could be why I'm here. I suppose it doesn't matter. So I'll make this short and clear.
Some things were said, some were not and perhaps we both share some regret. So let's remember what it was lest we bother to forget.

We can share anecdotes and spit. I can tell you my thoughts on the whole Achilles Patroclus thing.
You can ignore what I'm saying, wait for me to stop talking, and then ask me what's for dinner.
But.
I can't be that guy.
Because I'm not that guy.
I'm the other guy.
The one you never think about until that one song comes up on your playlist.
And I hope you smile to yourself.
I mean I wouldn't.
I just get angry whenever I think about me. Then I leave an angry voicemail with that ***** at the library and I feel better.
You though.
I hope you're smiling.

I used to like letting you in.
The door was always open for you.
Usually, you'd just stand in the archway.
You'd go through my mind like you were looking for the thought that murdered your family.
I couldn't help but smile. It was nice having someone over.
That was then.
I didn't want to have to change the locks.
And I don't know if I knew them what I know now. Whether or not I ever would've let you in.

I've been around long enough to know what happens when.
And unfortunately I have no problem remembering now and then.
So with that being said I think it's best that I should be alone.
It is in me being me for which I must atone.

I was eating this peach while putting together a pump and forgotten I'd already lit a burner when I said "***** it, I'm dead inside anyway" so I took a hit and started thinking about you in that time and me in that place and as soon as I finished that peach it dawned on me.
It wasn't that I wasn't good enough for you.
It's that I'm still not good enough for me.
So I went ahead and settled on the Apricot Kush because it keeps me from thinking about whether or not I made a mistake when I said "Can I get the salmon with a baked potato?" I mean I could have eaten my twin in the womb, I honestly don't remember her name Ellen I think anyway.
**** the night, **** the moon, **** everything that ends too soon.

I never got the chance to........
There was this light.
Just a bulb hanging from.
It'd sway sometimes.
I don't know how.
As if it were searching the room for something it'd lost.
I used to think maybe there was a melody to it.
Or a reason.
Nope.
We're just, here.