I won’t remember writing this.
And it’s funny.
Because I can remember with excruciating accuity everything I know about the person that inspired ninety percent of everything I’ve written.
You can quote my own words back to me minutes after I’ve penned them.
I won’t recognize them.
I can sit down at a bar and write a poem on a napkin about the girl three seats down on a whim.
And not remember a word of it or her probably.
But ****** if it wouldn’t take a lobotomy, I’ll never forget Colibri.

We're the keepers of each other’s past.
Holders of memories, long lost or stranded.
I can say that I knew you when.
That’s to say I knew you then.
Though you’re not that person anymore.
You’re not the one I knew before.
Tomorrow again you’ll be anew.
What are you going to do with you?

Pride lies slain and strewn.
Splayed out before the Morning Star.
Eviscerated Appreciation still drips from the rafters.
Ego is a writhing dance floor for the flames that eat as they sway.
Envy, Admiration, and Love cower like beaten dogs.
And Hope. She fought well.
Now she dares not leave the well.
So what’s left?
They’re all dead or in hiding.
Can I know now why I’m here?
And
Can I smoke in here?

I imagine it’s like closing your eyes to the sun on a cool November morning.
The sun places a kiss on your eyelids and you fracture a smile.
Everything fades to black.
You see fireflies and fireworks.
You want to wrap your arms around it.
And hold it till the moon comes up.
Just so you can tell her all about it.

There’s nothing here.
I’m just trying to save you a trip.
Become a hedonist, a pacifist, a sardonic mop.
Just don’t bother going any further than where you are now.
I’ll send you a pic.
Don’t bother thanking me.
It’s nothing, really.

One thing it seems a lot of people can agree on is just how much we hate people.
Why? Well I'm sure you already know the answer. But just incase you happen to be a cocker spaniel that's just become hyper intelligent.
It's because we're horrible.
We will inevitably do something terrible.
Singularly or collectively, it is an inevitability.
It'll be for selfish reasons no doubt.
If I were to list off reasons.
You might assume that I was victimized in a way evident in said list.
But I won't. I can't.
Because I'm that cocker spaniel.
P.S. Y'all ****.

We spend our lives emotionally counting coup on one another.
Hoping to get away unscathed.
The trick I discovered.
Is to slit the throat of everything inside that they could touch.
Don’t move the carcasses.
Leave them as a reminder of what could be, and what was.