These, these aren't my dreams.
I know them, as I would an episode of a tv show I might've seen in passing.
I don't know who they belong to.
And I can't say what they mean.
I just know that, much like a destruction of cats, they've found me. Encircling me.
Howling and biting.
And much like the schizophrenic who sees the man at the top of the stairs who isn't there.
I wish, I wish they'd go away.

I have this weird feeling that how I mattered won’t be revealed until I’m gone. And I can’t help but wonder why.
What good will it do me then?

I like the unnoticed ones. The ones that think they’re ugly or unwanted. So alone even when by themselves. The ones that’ve given up talking because they’ve gone so long with nobody listening.
Not because I think just the opposite of them. Not because I want to be with them. I don’t deserve to be with anyone. I just can’t stand the thought of them going their whole lives feeling like I have for mine.

Sometime, somewhere
Between my next breath and my last
Before my hearing goes or my vision fades
If it’s not to much to ask
I’d like to know
What it’s like to mean something
To someone
Instead of being an expert
On being nothing
To anyone

Love
It's the only thing I was ever good at
Just as the sun nourishes the dandelion
Just as the rivers guide the course of the lives that depend on it
I can see to it that her needs are met
If she likes a particular meal
I'll learn to cook it
Should she like the bed made a certain way
I'll see to it
I will listen and I will watch
So that when she cries
I'll know why
Should she need a smile
I'll find the joke
Crafting has never been my suit
Nor can I write her a song
Though there is that one thing
I can do
I can make her feel safe
Warm and loved
For as sure as the sun will rise
Not a day will suffer
Where she can question
Whether or not I love her

I’m sorry.