Loneliness is when you’re so broken, you don’t want to waste anyone’s time in telling them how lonely you are.
So.
You live in silence. Hoping and waiting for the day, the night, the moment when the silence becomes eternal.

There are these days. They stain our memories. But in a good way. In January, when winter is catching its second breath and the night is as clear as something that just happened. The moon scours the landscape like a spotlight looking for its love.
Or the fall. Mid October. Wading through drifts of dead leaves. An eerie reminder of mortality birthed in a sunset of colors and cast down by time.
It's these days that come to pass, I try to give them meaning. If by no other measure than my own, I worry their fate of being forgotten. So I do something out of my ordinary routine. A bookmark of sorts. Because perhaps I spent that day with you. I fear nothing more than having woken up one day and not remembering you.

I have a red room
Down the end of the hall
It’s quiet and warm in there
My crimson red room
At the end of the hall
It’s when you’ll find me where
I have a black pipe
In that red room
It’s resting upon a table
It’s always there
Waiting for me
Even when I am unable
You can sneer
At my blood red room
Please go ahead and scoff
I’ll be smoking
My pipe in there
And you can just *******

Is who we are
Where we’re going
Or simply where we’ve been
Or are the details
In our actions
What we did and when
Perhaps it’s in our words
When we speak
Or when we don’t
Could be when we listen
And not replying
As we are wont
My guess is
Tis all these things
By which we are measured
Unto ourselves
Or by some god
What is lost and what is treasured

There was that time.
And the time before that.
And then the time before that.
And by the time
I figured it out.
I’d run out of time.

Gonna snort some drano
I can explain though
Just want to turn my thoughts
To snow so
I can forget
Or rather split
My memories like atoms
Since I’ve had em
They’re soft cells
I can’t resell
Waking me up at three
Like a doorbell
Whiskey saturation
It’s like mental *******
The same **** stories
Not worth infatuation
So I figure a lil poison
To **** the noise and
Bring a lil peace
And put a cease
To these dreams
That just won’t stop

Look it here
Made you a snack
Just a lil sumtin
From way out back

Now listen here
Don’t draw your string
Just settle down
Cause here’s the thing

You’re not here
You’re over there
How’re ya now?
I don’t care

Accept the fact
You could now be wrong
About yourself
Don’t think too long

Laugh a lil
At yourself in kind
Hate begets hate
Keep that in mind

Before you speak
Do they care
Or would you
If standing there

Nothings life
Is worth less than yours
If it breaths
Dress it’s sores

Once you’ve got
What it is you need
Leave the rest
And ditch the greed

Savor each moment
For what it’s worth
Whether it be death
Or birth

And finally

Karma isn’t ******* real
The universe cares not
You really thinkin Saturn
Gives a **** about what you got