I have felt
disappointment
in the voice of someone
you love
as they dig up the truth
with their eyes

I have felt
anger in the eyes
of guidance
as they knew
you had been driven
the wrong way

I have felt
concern in the voice
of a bystander
as they watch you
wreck into the barrier
between right
and the opposite
direction

I know love
in the heart of a leader
as they stand you on two feet
kiss you on the forehead
and whisper
'I promise I wont tell.'
and beg
'Be safe.'

it's like we are a family
of pressed flowers
slid between glass casings
or dried butterfly wings
pinned on a cork board.
something to be studied
observed
fragility that disperses
between finger and thumb
sorrowfully turning into dust that
coats the surfaces of tables or
writing desks.
i'll always love the colors
always love their hues
shaping me-
they made me the golden shadows
of things, like during sunsets.
but i feel blue
at the bottom
and it's because they are sad
and i know so much
about flowers
that are truly people
and nothing more//

Once, I was gifted the brightest jewel of all the wide worlds wonder

It shone for me with a brilliance, as it had for no other

But in my foolishness I cast this priceless jewel away

And as it fell t’was broken, the light scattered asunder


Now, it will not shine for me

And so, I stand in darkness


The bitter pain of watching its warmth shining upon others

As my own space dimmed, to dark and ugly colours

But it was I who cast the jewel that broke, and made itself anew

Stronger, fairer, brighter than the untouched jewel that I once knew


Still, I cannot bear to see

And so, I stand in darkness


A jewel so bright, many have sought to bask in its fey light

This is no earthen gemstone, nor star that graces the night

Most, too foolish to keep it shining upon them alone

A jewel set in the breast of artwork fairer and brighter beyond sight


Woe, it shines the least on me

And so, I stand in darkness


A darkness I would have flee from unforgiving fire

To burn the earth and all the heavens until I’m alone

To end this world with fell flames is to what I aspire

And watch the gods despair, at the crumbling of their thrones


Yet, I must not turn ugly

And so, I stand in darkness


Anguish will never wear such a resplendent face, as the one that I shall paint it

Despair will be sung truly, in a sweet melodic guise

I shall mould regret into a bolt of ruthless doom, enamored with a purpose

And pen loss in lustrous tales, to gild a readers eyes


All, done with some subtlety

And so, I stand the darkness


To sound a scream which rends the land, leaving a scar behind

To cry deltas flowing back through past deeds, flooding that frame of mind

For it to nourish life, of a beautiful, and evolved kind

Thus emptied, to float up and admire it from above, weightless, and refined


Though, I must tread silently

And so, I walk from darkness


Finally I saw the truth, after I was told a lie

Delivered into the blinding light, I was left wondering why

Why I was cursed with the folly to commit the greatest of life's crimes

Why I must now see sense, and what has passed me by


Still, t’was a choice made by me

And thus, I’ve burned with darkness






Never, never, ever again, to break such fragile, precious things

Nor walk with tactlessness, or tragedy in my stride

I'll shine with luminescence of thoughts and deeds most high

When some facets of that young boy, have finally, truly died



My own jewel shattered, with minds eye open wide

Now I understand, this allegory of dark and light

Sharing secrets with a madman
Crunch Berries around the breakfast table
Pouring milk in jugs of nonsense
From cows in designer labels

Voices from the refrigerator
Offer cubes of sugar
Singing Carols in the springtime
Like it was Mid-December

The bacon interprets modern dance
Sizzling  in the frying pan
The lights flickering on and off in Morris code
Grocery prices in the Yucatan

As you talk about the weather
With the windows painted black
Talking in sideways motions
You wonder what's up with that

Sharing secrets with a mad man
Are the best secrets kept

Don't look at me like that.
Don't look at me at all,
In fact.
For petty wishes fall down.
Into water that I stand in,
all around.
My shoes are wet and torn.
My feet cold and numb,
so forlorn.
While I stand in your gaze.
Cold and hot and ruthless,
It never strays.

And the rain still falls.
My jean jacket soaked,
But standing tall.
I look up with defiant eyes.
And you meet them,
Smiling wide.
The battle still rages on.
I grow more numb,
Standing strong.

You hope to lead me.
By bending my will,
My lifetree.
Yet you don't understand.
See this seed right here,
In my hand?

I will plant a new one.

One to shade me,
from the blazing hot sun.
One to shield me,
from the rain and flood run,
One to deafen me,
when you loose your silver tongue.

One to teach me,
To escape your endless gaze,
and my own scrutiny.