ARMCHAIR

The ugly chair
Is still there
Leave I say
It stays

The ugly chair
Is stubborn
Taciturn
Not feng shui

The ugly chair
Isn’t really
It just sits too near
In the way

We draw water from the same well
We celebrate and despair together
Our fates are tapestried
In our shared community

Everyone in this room
Came from a unique womb;
A mother to another—

As we intersect
We’ve laughed, shrugged
Shared stories…

The bond common
Place and time summoned
We reconnect

If you had fun, I won!
Complete ___  to compete;
Prance!

Thank you all!

Mr. Nixley, last chance to negate the process.

No, I’m ready. She pushed me away you know.

Pardon?

I reached over—and was pushed away while she opened the covers to let the cat in…

Mr. Nixley?

Yes; I‘m ready.

Do the straps hurt?

Not really.

OK. There will be several sensations. First your body will tingle. Then, and this is the hard part, you will feel consciousness slipping away as if going to sleep but different. Fear is natural. To you, no time will pass but the process will take 20 minutes. Ready?

Yes.

OK…
.
.
.
.
.
.
Mr. Nixley?

Rrrrrrrow?

I was falling apart
Distracted distanced disconnected
WWD was settling in
(That’s world war depression
for the uninitiated)

Then I did something unexpected
Answered an ad in the Northcoast J
And drove two hours to a beautiful nature nook
With a weekend of brave brave man

I think it saved my life

Realities revealed
Truths needing challenge
Connections not expected
Community with men rewarded

Flame on, men, flame on

https://www.northcoastmensgathering.org/

One percent
Or two percent
Blah, blah, blah or
Da! Da! Da!

No blame, James
No shame games
Need a new course
Hop a new horse

Gallop to the rest
East might be best
Set mainsails
No named fails

Forget *******
Just try and be in it
As we brave
And tackle

The big waves

My pops was a Reagan man
As far as the G-Ole Party can

The vote: went with it
But he called him “Idiot!"

Iconic ironic elephant
Don’t be inelegant

Just fire the Man and
Make a stronger stand

Persistence insistence
Serendipitous stupidity
A repetition rendition
A mumble stumble

I did it again, friend.

Sorry.

Look at that!
What?
That!

The porcelain pig
Seen through the window
Of your neighbor's boudoir?

The moth crawling
Across the window pane
With wings a-flutter?

The yellow golden pup
Trying earnestly to be good
At obedience class?

A smear of ketchup
(Might be blood)
On my lower left trouser leg?

What is that?
I don’t know…
Use your words.

Now the hard part begins
Living with a hole in our hearts
While digging a hole in the yard

"Just a dog” some would say
But if he liked you ten years ago
He’d be happy to see you yesterday

Buddy boy endured five different cats
They bugged him as they loved him
Their fierce protector in Freshwater

6AM and 6PM
He didn’t understand daylight savings
His stomach kept time

Happy to see us
Worried when we‘d leave
Of that now, we are bereft

Sweet boy, we will miss you
Biggie boy, you biggered us
With your unconditional love

I’m happy; but why so sad?
I miss my dad.

I saw him last a year ago
I wiped his *** and so

I told him I was proud
I’m glad I said it out loud

Because now I can’t
Nothing to recant

He met the end with dignity
And aplomb, didn’t he?

Lovable lug of a man
Emulate? I’ll try if I can

I thought him an ******* republican
At age 18—then thought again

I left home to be me
Family? I was free!

Young, naive, on my own
I made my own home

Family was for other guys
That umbilical thought otherwise

Because there was another
Yeah, my mother

Always there, always kind
Reminded me of mine

Calls ended with, “Here’s your father...”
A Lake Woebegone bother

“Hello son...” he’d intone
“Hey, pops,” I’d own

Every poem needs a fulcrum
A change always welcome

I’d say before the call stopped
“I love you, pops”

Months, years, eons begun
Finally, “I love you too, son.”

Next defies time, logic and law
A love so deep it fills me with awe

We became good friends
Mutual respect to the end

The loss cuts deep
And so I weep

And you still have
Your mom and dad?

Call them.
Amen.

Yesterday, the day before
And of course, today
Temperatures markedly different

First, no solace
No place of peace
Hiding in strange places

Second, remorse
I behaved badly
During third incident

Third: incident
3 X recently
Feeling quite differently

Anxious dread?
Too much caffeine?
Electrolytes?

I’ll figure it out
By doing and being
Which involves accepting

The light strikes
Moment illuminated
Frozen in time

Snap the shot
Then think you got
That moment in mind

Scintillating shafts
Floating through past
A memory of mine

Not really then
Not really there
Memories be kind

Coincidence incident
A million to one fun
Reliving long past moments
At years end

We find similar photos
Millions of moments later
Hundreds of miles apart
At tears end

Non-believer conundrum?
Mathematical non-sum?
Chance happenstance?
Or just friends?

Lorraine Hansberry
Was a woman out of time

Borges paddled around
Some circular Ruins

The kin of atta are waiting
For you and me

Think it, dream it, be it
The left hand of darkness

A lathe of heaven
Forging something better

In the typical male *******
Live 250 million half-lifes
Each a potential human being

Every ***** is sacred
******* is ******-light
Every man masterbates

Even 25 old white Alabamans
Who whank their shanks at least
Once a week for 50 years

Time for math:
25 senators
55 years

72,000 shank whanks
(an underestimate)
1.79e13 potential people

Dried on tissue
Flushed away or
Down another senator's throat

Criminal!
Put them away!
For 8e14 years!

Me and you
We provoke
Bespoke

Poked begets
Stroked: pushed
Buttons goes to

Blaming flaming
Serving  none.
So…

Begin to begun

Everything here is for the best
Full of glitter and gaiety
We forget the nasty past

WWD was good for me; a
Worse fate should have followed
Pan gloss the past and be here now

The rat, the crocodile, the fly
Fulfill their natural function
Indeed, as Candide

We built our home
We stacked our wood
She made our garden grow

We’ve travelled the world
Had picaresque adventures
Au contraire, Voltaire

Happiness is possible
Enjoy it as it happens
Make it the best of all workable worlds

Hey, monster,
Sit still; will you?

I’ll purr you a story
I’ll knead you to sleep

Feline dreams are the best
Soothing rolling purring

You will think you’re
In control as I nap in lap

Lulling you to sleep.
Pleasant cat dreams!

I’m not just sixty
I’m now sexty

Been there
Crushed that

But what’s next?
Give me a new new

Beyond what I
Thought I knew

Not then; not now…
On to tomorrow

I want to give you
******—
not sarcasm

Marred love
from married love
to scarred love.

I need touch to
bridge the chasm
don’t you?

On the road less travelled
Unfamiliar now routine
Strangely, though, at home

A dog crosses the road
With more skill than I
His home is to roam

Magical and mundane
Surrounds us and
Confounds us

A sky too blue
Smells noxious
Tastes renowned

Sidewalks cracked, uneven
Traffic dense, dangerous
Horns, alarms, sounds abound

Boy with penciled mustache
Girl as bumble-bee
Glorious pageantry

Unfamiliar territory
Humble observers we
Embrace the sameness

Loneliness
is quiet
as an ache

Loneliness
is hollow
at its core

Lonliness
Is inside-out
inertia

The gravity
of the situation
pulls you

Down

I had a wonderful mother
She’d be aghast with
Internecine dealings

Sister against sister
Then again against brother
Nephew, even, against uncle

Stop it now
Be good to each other
Think the best

Belay the Kraken!
Stable the dragons!
Breathe before acting.

I might bungee jump that ravine
But I probably shan’t

I could base-jump squirrel-like
And glide far, far down—or not

I might mount Everest—
(I just made a Sherpa laugh)

Swimming with whale sharks?
I would be there, maybe

With an aqualung
Come along, anyone?

I’ve counted to 21 millionteen
More than just once

I’ve swam over 10 kylemeters
With no one watching

I’ve traversed so very many sidewalks
All my heads spin and spin and win

I could climb that shrub
Without carabiners

If I wanted too—
But I won’t

I could scale that wall
Without proper ID, but no

I could leap tall buildings
Sans nose or red cape

But I shan’t…
Shoulda, woulda, coulda?

Put your camera phones down
I’m my own hero, ******

Make-up tackle-box
Not making this **** up
Cosmetic kit

No lures, no sinkers
No hooks just
Ben Nye! What a guy!

Then “shick, stchik”
Drawers unclick
Trays slide

Revealing everyone I could be:
Foundation flirt first
Then the highlight/shadow trick

Older, younger
Darker, greyer
Maybe a mustache?

Shriveled clown nose
Glommed with spirit ***
Next to Fauder’s White

Once for performing
Now more for norming
Painting skin again

Base, highlight
Shadow cracks
Older/younger begins

But this is cosmetic:
Covering the skin sin
A new day begins

The canyon of my imagination
is clogged and dammed.  
What am l to do?
Wave from the sidelines?
Send up a flare?
Dissolve into despair?
Write an opinion piece?
Or take another tack,
Completely unexpected.

I wait and see
And hope it will find me

There is not a door
No lock or key
No password required

It's more like quicksand
You are in it before you know it
But you know the sinking

No amount of thinking
Stops the drop
It's real not rational

How low do you go?
No knowing
Not far, you hope.

I don’t like that
Splatter-splat-splat stat

Chaotic parading of guns
On TV shows, every one

If we stop showing it
Will we stop owning it?

IT TAKES SECONDS TO AMEND
Laws protecting everyone.

Constitute!

The past presents itself in future
The constant is conundrum
The happening has happened
The now, the effortless action
Only eddies of the Dao

I’m in the
Legion region where
Nothing seems
As the same sane
As a clozapine
Fevered dream
Madness mayhem with
Nightmare screams

If there are no heroes
Or naught villains
Who do we blame?
Who owns the shame?

(Disclaimer: watch LEGION to decipher this poem. Wow! I’ve never seen anything like it before. Take your meds before watching.)

Fiddle faddle
Twitter twadle
Use some CAPS!

Call out SNAPS!
Sez rez Prez
Fake! Huge! Fakely huge!

I remember sentences
I remember sense
Nothing rhymes with orange

The woman
Next to me
Vexes me
Unwittingly

We share our
Space and place
Meet and greet
Carefully

I wish we could
differently.

Maybe?

I’m a mouth
With a sphincter

Stuff comes in
**** goes out

Words out:
Sometimes witty

Unfortunately sometimes
Fraught with farts

I mean, I don’t
Want to be mean

Sometimes,
**** needs to be said

Constipated comments
Contribute nothing

Di Niro’s dump:
“**** Trump!”

Not: "Down with…” but
“**** Trump!”

This food tube agrees
Wait. Gotta take a dump.

Constipation consideration
Free flow of **** and that

Unpleasant unflow is
Sometimes how it goes

Pootting **** pebbles
Indicates trouble

Finally, release cleanser as
Movement sends her

"I’d like to buy a bowel, Alex”
“Guts get graphic” for 20…



— apologizes to my niece; and thanks

When I slip out of time
Alone, by myself
How selfish is that?

Pets fed? Check.
Cat door open/closed. Check.
Chickens out/in? Check.
Faucet off? (Sorry baby, but yes.)

Dishes done? ehh… no.

It’s a spring break break.

Spasms happen
“Hic! SHNICK! Hic…”
Gone when?

A bed asleep?
On the morrow?
Maybe Tuesday?

(Oh god, please
Not three weeks
Like that last time!)

Head back
Nose closed
Backward water

Paper bag
In out, in out
Breath control

Hot rock yoga
Pose 27-a
Release barking frog

Hopping one foot
Turning left then right
Through the night

Nope.
Lil’sips;
Quick as quick

What we thought was gone
Is gone.

So long!

What we think will come
May come.

Somehow
Cherish the here and now.

I thought it tomorrow
Awaking from nap

But it was yesterday
A chance for another play…

Safe? Everything again?
Hold the door a little longer?

Who might come through?
What might I left unsaid?

Or have done
And won?

This is a hash tag of me too:
Which is all about bullies
referenced gender: all

To bully is to subjugate
Do that and in the end
You are in the wrong

Did you enjoy that?
Did that get you off?
What’s wrong with your song?

Does it never really rain on Venus
Except for that one forgotten day?

Can I go back again to 802,700 and 1
Just four more days and pretend again?

Submerge my Nautilus into the ocean
Plumbing depths of space and mind?

Must it rhyme?

I slip out of time
No reason, no rhyme
Moments internal
Becoming eternal

The world whorls
Senses spin
Past is future
Now not now

Relatively needs sensibility
As temporal moments swirl
Eddies distract and detract
Be here now

Sometimes this world is
Devastatingly beautiful
Puffy whales
Swim in azure sky

Tabby tiger turns and
Enters spotlight shaft
Rectangular stage, an
Orange explosion

Hummingbird swoops
Thrumming through spring
Arc de Triomphe
On a nectar vector

A rhody in full bloom
Another just past shy
A debutante ball
In red and pink and lavender

Fish sticks
Powdered milk
Tang.

Fish sticks
Powdered milk
Tang.

Bologna
On Wonder bread
With Mustard.

Liverworst
On white bread
With ketchup.

American cheese beneath
Toasted Wonder Bread
Campbell’s tomato soup beside.

Lunch. With mom.

Oven love-in!
Propane magic a
Stolen coven

Fire proven for
Frozen provisions not
Microwave woven

Heat it up
Oven cauldron
Cook a dozen!

The letter will come
Email chimes
Doctor calls

Entropy entirely
No escape
Nobody

So, no denial
Forget delay
Love today

I’m NOT writing this poem
Though I FEEL it and NEED it

It’s something I HAVE to say
But you WILL take it wrong

(It will HELP ME
But it will HURT YOU)

Words of such tremendous power
Leaves this poem unwritten

Thin line between
This and when
Between what is
And what’s not began

We walk and talk
And stop and look
As periphery beckons
Through subtle margins

Unheard symphonies
Unseen wonders
Almost patterns
Seeming schemes

An ambulance screams
Cars honk and careen
A child sobs and wails
Shadows whist away

There’s a rumble
in the continuum
Step aside Q
Jon Luc Picard is back

There’s this certain joint
Under cars and everywhere
Called a universal joint

A priest, a rabbi, an insurance agent
Walked into such a place
“What’s your special" was asked

“Everything and nothing“
The universe wearily replied
“I'll take two,” they said

The rabbi drank while
The priest blanked
As the whole joint stank

Ever astute, the agent,
Made an impassioned point
To everyone’s amazement:

“Here’s the universal solution —
At a certain point, remember
It’s only entertainment”