I am proud to say
I speak three languages:
Human, cat and dog

There a big difference between
“mmmmm-rrrrrrRRRRR-Ouww!”
And “mmrouwt!”

The occasional
"Mmmrt.”
That’s one contented cat!

Where to start with dog?
“thnff-sniff-sniff-snichff-iff”
Your **** as judge and jury

If they judge you worthy
With a **** of their head
Or clear-eyed happy panting

Or happy claws
Kneading your nethers
Throbbing, purring

Or the “schlourp, schlourp, schlourp”
Of their tongue where they dare
You have made it as a human

Enjoy their approval as
Human held in esteem
Strive to come back as one of them

Tricky bits, those
I have two of them
Bigger than some of yours

Superfluous on me
But some fun; a
Vestigial giggle

Perky, saggy
Voluptuous or
Removed

Tricky bits, those ****
Used to objectify
And advertise

===================
STANZA REMOVED
STANDARD PRACTICES
KEEPING YOU SAFE
===================

I wish I knew the joy
Of those milky bits
**** for little tots

Every mamma everywhere
Feeds who comes next
Every mamma, every mammal

Tornadic winds
At its periphery
Reached the conifery

Whether ambuscade or
Circumjacent to
Chaos ensued

Her again?
Or him in gray
Growing stronger

I take a pledge
To support Buttigieg
In all his future pursuits

It’s a thrillah
To support Kamila
And her justice crusades

Elizabeth Ann can
It’s guaranteed
and warranted

He’s a looker,
That Booker
Way to fly high, guy!

Hit or hold?
Time to fold and
Lose the Beto

I don’t feel
The Bern, sir; not
Not throwing away my shot

You as placeholder?
Take it slow, Joe
Steal the show

Can I take you to the poem?
He asked again

We can dance to
The stanza

Spend time with
The rhyme

On the dance-floor
(As metaphor)

Are you into me
Like, as, a silly simile?

It’s synecdoche
Your  dance with me

For your sacrifice you get
An *** and a half
Your ***** donkey

A cat-n-a-half
Wild, unpredictable
Somewhat lovable

A dog or two?
Royally loyal
To you

Fish?
No
So?

Chicken?
**** yes!
The rest?

A horse, of course
In your corral
Stable.

My pops was a Reagan man
As far as the G-Ole Party can

The vote: went with it
But he called him “Idiot!"

Iconic ironic elephant
Don’t be inelegant

Just fire the Man and
Make a stronger stand