Doe anything mean anything anymore?
I've been searching for happiness a long time
What I have found is only pain and misery
Trying to make happiness a real deal
But it's only illusive if I'm honest about it
Like darkness on a rainbow day

Dream within a dream within a dream
Nothing is what it seems
Problems and consequences wants
Nothing more to float away
Like a feather caught in a breeze
Love wants to be a part of the picture
But it fades out too quickly to realize
What's going on
All the love lost
Thinking this could of been the one
Just another dream
Was it all meant to be
Was it exactly the way it was
Suppose to go down
I never wanted to intentionally
Hurt anyone
Life just fades out and returns to a dream
Once again a dream within a dream.
A dream.
Can someone please wake me up?

Too much vanity
I see the globe made of glass
I stare into it
And wonder what's my class?
I shake it
The snow appears from no where
finally disappears into nothingness
And I ponder what is happening here?
I try to do what's right
But temptation is all around
I feed into the night
And wonder if I am a clown?
Left alone I play too much
And am silly beyond belief
But through it all
I stand up for liberty
THE RIGHT TO BE FREE
Freedom from oppression
Freedom to be gay
Or bi-******
To have an expression
And share the meaning of life
That love is where it's located
Deep within our hearts
We need to love to want to love
And find it necessary
To lift our hearts to the heavens
And attract love to each other

Less the dead forget
Why awaken to another existence
It's born from the ashes of hell
From it stems all forms of nastiness
Then the boogieman comes alive
And scares little boys and girls
The time has come unto your world
The dead lives on inside your bedroom
In the closet where they are mostly found
Creeping around and watching you
They don't care about much of anything
Less you want to give them your soul
Then they are happy as can be

I just pray I leave this earth and don't stay behind
Wherever I go would be anywhere better than staying behind

The beauty I see is distorted
I cannot explain why
The markings around this fence
Tells me to go in one direction
But I choose to jump over it
And go my separate way
How well does that work out?
Well, it brings heartache and pain
I think I know better
But what I know amounts to ****
It doesn't save me from the real world
I'm protected by what I write
But I'm not safe in how I do things
My actions are gaunged on how I feel
So I run with that
Instead of thinking about the consequences
How pathetic is that
I fight the demons inside
But fail so many countless times
Keeping them at bay
They win quite often
Should I be concerned about that?
Should I fall to my knees?
Many days the answer is yes
Cause I'm just a fool
Making things worse inside my head
Thinking I'm not a good farther
That my girl could do without me
But then she hugs me
And tells me daddy I love you
So my guilt is just the boogy man
And my perception about life *****
I need to follow direction
And keep my head in the clouds
Maybe I won't **** things up
And just maybe God can forgive a man like me

It's something ****** up
You want to run my life
I don't know who to trust
My heart aches through the night
Why should I listen to you
There's no answer to the riddle
I don't know what to do
Crazy **** happens everyday
And I just try to survive the ******* drama

I take things as they come
Try to be kind to all
But I'm left feeling undone
****** up in my head
Racing thoughts argue amongst themselves
That life isn't beautiful at all
I try to talk to you about it
But you won't listen to me
So here I am going crazy
Tired of the ******* *******
And the way things shouldn't be

I don't know why I do the things I do
I try so hard not to turn to escaping
I've been there many times before
And it's not the place I want to go back again
I'm ******* sick of it all
There's more to life than getting drunk
More to life than getting high
I don't know where I am going from here
But it's a lot better than where I came from
I have made too many mistakes
But I keep trudging along
I pick myself up
Dust myself off
And give a sober life another try

So I can't understand your disbelief
You're in awe because of me
You think I am going to fail
But I will prevail
And make a fool out of you
It's just taking me many years to realize
How ****** up people can be
I have given them the benefit of the doubt
But really they're out to cause ******* mayhem
They try to make life impossible
But **** 'em!

Let me have my two pots
Of coffee in the morning
And a pack of smokes
Before you start with the hugging
What the ****?
Are you that needy
Always need my attention
Can't live without it
You always had to say
"I love you."
That was nice to hear
But not every ******' five minutes
Rub your back?
Your back always needed rubbed
Rub a dub dub
Can't take a bath in my own ******' tub
Without you up my ***
I couldn't sit on the toilet
Without you bothering me
Wanting to know what I wanted for supper
Christ, food was far from my mind
I was just trying to push out this
**** at this time
I felt so ******' smothered
The only peace I got was going for a walk
To check the mail
And even then you was calling me
Wanting to know what I would like for supper
Food? What the ****?
I like it as the next man
But it seemed like you wanted me fat
I don't know about this crap
Figure it out your own **** self
I'm not hungry
I said I'm not ******' hungry!
That was the bright spot of the day
There was no communication in any way
That's why I'm leaving today
I hope you don't get mad
As a couple it was pretty sad
Maybe it will be better
Separate from one another
I don't know
But I have to let you go

It has come to my attention
That there are people who will
Give up on others
Whatever they're thinking
That's not the way to be
I pray I'm not one of those
For only God knows
He has never gave up on me

What the **** just happened,
I once was doing- well, at least okay,
And then the world came crashing around me,
Once staying afloat,
Believing in Kingdom Come,
Now I'm just running to a different tune.
Staying east of the wind,
So my **** doesn't knock me on my ***,
Maybe it was the piggled-eggs I ate,
Maybe it was what I drank,
A little ***** and some juice,
But the little turned out to some more,
And I'm ****** up once again.

Why the **** do I even try
It seems like a waste of ******* time
The more I give of myself
The more you ******* want
You want it ******* all
How can I provide that
You don't give a crap
No, not a ******* feeling
About what I'm going through inside
You want me to be a stand up guy
But it only happens in dreams
I have my flaws like everyone else does
Nothing is the way it seems
It hurts me to think you want
Me to be some kind of a god
Have special powers to be a great being
Someone that is a ******* hero
But I ain't none of those things
Just a guy trying to live a life
With peace of mind
But you're always ******* nagging
Telling me I ain't worth ****
You think you're so ******* high and mighty
That your **** don't stink
How can we work on things
If you can't even say i don't know
You have to be always ******* right
Throw your two sense into every sentence
Thinking I must be ******* blind
How can you be such a ******* *****
Thinking I'm a loser when it comes to life
I've been around the block
A lot longer then you have
I know more **** then you can only dream of
You're nothing but a prissy *****
Get your kicks by tearing me down
Acting like you're so much better than me
Maybe you are
But I don't want to walk in your shoes
I'd rather jump off of a cliff
Then try to be ******* you
Why do women want guys to change
To become like them in every way
I'll never ******* get it as long as I live
They tear you apart
And never forgive your sins
The mistakes that takes ******* place
When two people are trying to live together
And communicate with one another
No, I'll never ******* understand it

So what,
I drink and i smoke,
Am i harming anyone?
Well, i'm harming you,
I don't mean to,
But i can't stand your nagging.
Does it mean anything