I reach out for you but you're gone
Vapor of loneliness hides the mask inside
I can't even dream of a better time
It's such a dark era in my life
I hurt so badly and just want to die
But the pain helps with the insanity
That goes through this mind
I hear only a faint whisper of you
And the rest of the sound disappears
I can't help but wonder where you are
Do you wonder where I drifted off to?
I see the dandilions waving in the wind
The smell of fresh cut grass tickles my nose
I fear all has passed away in the twilight of reason
And there is not a soul to touch this broken season
Cast out of the streets of happiness to a ghostly kind
Taken stock of what craziness one will find
And the threshold is an open book of words devine
But all is lost from the moment this thought perks up
And takes form into the very essence of dark light

Precious, oh so precious
Like fine wine
We see our standards
And try to live up to them with time
But like our humanity
We tend to fall short
That's what makes us stronger
In our difficulty we see the light
We rise from our pain
And see a beautiful way
A way not yet thought of
Only dreams flourishes into reality
And the fires of hell burns brightly
The strength that says we're not going to give up

Soon the truth will be awaken, and the lies once hidden will
Come forth from the ashes of being relentless
It will shatter the past, and make way for a better tomorrow.
It comes like a bolt of lightning, and then age takes hold
Looking back throughout the way, a life well lived
It forms by the wrinkles on one's face
And white color in one's hair or no hair at all
Wisdom is the truth and wisdom isn't hidden no more

I hate it here
Once again it's made clear
I'm not liked
And that's okay
Because I ******* can't stand you
You're a ******* liar
You make me ******* sick
The truth will come out
And I'll laugh at your demise

Seeing life flash before my eyes, the days collide with one another, causing a beautiful moment. My eyes are turned inward to how i'm feeling and chasing after the wind is a lone experience.

Sometimes, sometimes not
I feel the inner beauty
But most times I feel ugly
As the day goes on I feel distant
As if no one cares for me
But my eyes glimpse you
And I feel your love
Thank you

The day springs forth
The sun shining brightly
But the curtains are drawn
And the room is hard to see
The darkness plagues the atmosphere
It's too bleak, not so clear
What will bring light into the area?
Will it all be washed away?
The day is too much to handle
The China seems like clay
Words aren't present
The air is just that- putent
Why must it come to this
And where will it all go from here?

Enter me
The spirit rises
The gods are watching
float away in the raft
The water rises
The lands are close at hand
And rescueing me is a tribute

Who the **** are you
I can't stand your arragonce
You act like such a fool
I want to punch you
I want to ******* hurt you
I want you to feel the way I do
But no, you are out on the street
Spreading lies like you always do
Why don't you ******* drop dead

Feeling blue, a little down
Feel like the pressure is weighing on me
So much anguish, it's hard to see
Where did I put my dignity?
Flash! A bolt of goodness
Where did it come from?
I'm not feeling blue no more

Am I going blind?
These realities aren't mankind
Something special in the way I feel
It ain't all that different anymore
I seem to be able to move mountains
And be able to journey beyond the sky

Does playing by the rules count for something?
Does following the system mean anything any more?
I hear so many ideals about what is right
But I don't see much of anyone going in that direction

Blaming you ain't going to do any good
All my hatred towards you ain’t going to help matters
It's only going to make things worse
I know these things but I am having an issue
A problem with not killing you
You're a ******* predator
You're a ******* menace
Such a ******* disgusting human being
I wish you dead
I wish you dead a thousand times over
And if you you should die I'll raise you back
To life just to **** you again

Once again I became ****** up
Didn't want to but nobody held a ******* gun to my head
I was asked if I wanted a mix drink
And I said sure why not
Why the **** do I relapse all the time?
Something is stopping me moving forward
And making a good life for myself
I forget how much I drank to be honest
I ******* drank a lot
Then to add on top of it I just took my afternoon psyche meds
Anyway, I blacked out later on through the day
I came to with my next door neighbor ******* my ****
I didn't ask him to do that
I pushed him aside and grabbed my cds and ran outside
I went to my place and passed out again
Now all these ******* emotions are coming to the surface
I want to run away and forget it all
I want to drink over this so badly but I know I can't
Once again alcohol has left a bad memory in my heart
If only I didn't go over to his place
If only I didn't drink way too much
Now I can see the child within myself
Crying to find some ******* closure
Asking my older brother why
Asking my next door neighbor why
Now it's all falling to pieces
I can let it take me
But I am going to ******* survive
I'm not going to let it beat me
No, I am going to ******* beat this
And come out on the other side a better man

Love, what the ****?
Am I only the fool who has no clue
What it truly is?
Is it forever being with someone
Knowing the flaws of that person
And still want to be with him or her?
I'm not for love, it burns like the sun
I have cared for and thought I was in love
But it was only a myth, a dream of a dream
I can only hope for it one day but the chances
Are it will never find a madman like me.

I can't believe in me
Don't know what to say
So many words are racing
Through this crazy mind
I don't know how to face the day
If I wasn't such a lunatic
I would be alright
If I wasn't such a freak
I would be able to understand me
Right now I'm just trying to get by
And find a little hope in the day and night
Is it out there, a reason to live?
I look up into the starry sky
And wonder who made all of this
I have searched for the answer
Only to backslide down an empty road
I don't want to continue this ****** life
No, I want to be happy and free
I want to be saved from this broken heart
It is in shambles and ripped apart
So many tears waiting to be cried
I want not to feel this anymore in my life

All you do is ******* take
Take! Take! Take!
All you want is all of me
And I can't give it to you
I wish I could but it's wishful thinking
Wishful thinking like a dream
Like wishing upon a star
It's not as it seems
We won't last forever
And it just won't be
So leave it alone
Why all the fuss?

I see you trying to play the badass
In a Japanese car, I would have to
Only laugh and say you ain't going far
So many ******* juveniles clamor for this and that
They only have to ask their mommies and daddies
For **** that their too lazy to do themselves

Get me this, get me that
I want this, I want that
Christmas comes and they get it
Because if they don't they'll throw a fit
A ******* disrespectful fit to their parents
No kid has any ******* respect anymore
What the **** happen to respect your elders
No, they would rather steal from them
And push them out in front of a bus

I say punish these kids
Take away everything the parents bought for them
Because they feel guilty they didn't grow up with
Much of anything. And if that doesn't work
Use the ******* belt on these ungrateful pukes

Once, I kissed you forever
Meant it from my heart
Now things have changed
I don't want to part
And leave you stranded
In the middle of life's ocean
Can we remain friends forever
What are the odds
Can we play these games
And kiss each other goodnight
From across the way
I put a ring on your finger
You were lost for words
Said yes to a life together
Now things aren't the same
And I have left the nest
Wouldn't it be nice if we
Remained at our best
And stared into each other eyes
With love and adoration

Hello. I am a ******* freak
Lowly as can be
I like to justify my actions
As much as possible
Can't you see?
It's hard to get noticed
I've tried everything imaginable
I've worshiped God
And ran with the devil
Just for you to like me
I'm meaning no harm
So don't be alarmed
I've ****** daddled with magic
And almost died from my own tragic
Fundamentals and ideas of the truth
It ain't no fun, get struck by the sun
And found my calling in my youth
I am a what you have me to be
I can be all sorts of these
But is it my ******* wreckage
That has me down on my ******* knees
Wishing I was exactly like you
But that really wouldn't be the truth
So what must I do
Bow down in grievous over this
I think I'll give in to temptation
And follow after my own heart

There is a constant yearning
I feel it in my heart
A tug pulling me in a direction
Of light and love
I have searched for the truth
Again and again I have failed
Looking through the hourglass
I see my life fading away slowly
Like pebbles in the sand
I walk ever so gently to understand
Where I must go
Where I must be
Where I find my destiny
It's not so much clear
But I have the peace it will all appear
And the hope that abundance will find
It's way to me

I see the darkness rolling in
The sky looks mirky and bleak
In the distance i see death
Holding a scicle made of steel
He points his finger at me
Wanting me to come to him
I slowly take a step
My legs are like jello
I hear my heart beating fast in my ear
Maybe he just wants to say hello
And make things all so clear
I make the journey to him
And he held out his hand
What I saw was my life flash before me
Like a bolt of lightning my mind crackled
And the screeching sound was piercing
Causing blood to seep out of my ear
I fell to the ground screaming "why!?"
And death hissed from his lips
Saying, "you're not so better than anyone else."
I cried, "what can I do?"  And death replied,
"Go,  and live your life right."

Blank...
I need to write better,
Or say something meaningful.
Something, anything.
Or is it just the times?
Everyone is making sense but me,
I think I'm an okay poet but who's to say.
I make too much of a big deal out of everything.
I need to unlearn a few things
And learn more about life.
What I feel it is doesn't matter
Or should it?
I just hope my poems reach one soul that
Would get something out of it and go "oh, yeah"

Is it my suffering that I persist to go on?
Watch the birds fly overhead, and only
Can dream of touching the sky, too scared
Of heights anyway. So down on the ground
I kiss the dirt. I suffer because I am human
And pain is a cornerstone of happiness,
Without such I wouldn't be grateful for
Any ******* thing. Watch myself bleed
The blood of righteousness, it will only
Cause me a problem in the end, if I am
Too proud of myself, puff up my ego, so
I must stay grounded if I am going to live.

Save my ******* life please!
Does it need to be brought to attention,
Or am I so right to be in the dark?
Can I just move forward from here,
Or am I always going to pull the structure down?
That's been my ******* story for a lifetime
Not a clue why I do what I ******* do
Crazy and insidious thoughts run rapid in my ******* mind
And I drift away, lost forever out to ******* sea
Why doesn't someone ******* save me?

Have you ever considered life
What it all means
There has to be a purpose
A love able to touch the soul and mind
An effect takes place
To all that is in form
To stretch out caring hands
And become unified with the Universe