often I think i can force the words from my throat
push past the floodgates and fix this drought
but they stick behind my teeth
breathed out - rearranged, changed - back in.
the hollow of my throat holds a thousand tragedies,
a thousand miracles, it births thoughts like colliding stars
and yet they will crawl around my mouth, humming,
a lungful of bees that sting and sting and sting
my thesaurus brain cannot find the right mixture
of vowels and consonants and breaks in sentences
to give justice to what blossoms within me
they say silence speaks volumes
and I have been shouting mutedly all my life.
They may not show their wings or walk around with glowing halos, but that does not diminish their work. People who walk among us everyday going about their normal business, but who affect the lives of others in the most extraordinary ways. It may only be a word of kindness to someone who has lost all hope, or a handkerchief to someone who needs to blow their nose. They may give a few dollars to someone who is in need or perhaps they will give their time to teach a child to read. From preparing a meal for a stranger, to helping out a neighbor or friend, the miracles are miraculous if you could truly see their end. Each person who lends a helping hand, sends kindness and hope along the way. These ordinary Angels who walk among us, working not for fame or glory, but simply seeking to make the world a better place.
The gate swings open and the air rushes over you. I limp forward slowly and look around at the sky. I scratch at my beard that is now turning hues of Gray. I step outside and I am on my own. The grass still looks Green and the pavement still looks rough and dark. Other than that, the world has rushed by me. I have been in a time capsule that lags behind everything else. Behind walls of cement and wrought iron gates, I have lived a life under control. Every aspect of everyday planned out for me, from the time I eat until when I go to bed. Now after 30 years, I am on my own. One random act of violence took my freedom from me and now my freedom is what really scares me. The not knowing what I must do next is disheartening. I am not sure I can make it on the outside. Part of me is terrified and runs back to the iron gates, but another part wants to see what it is to be alive. So I will hobble forward, broken and worn down by doing all of my time. I must learn to live day to day. Life after 30 years behind bars is going to be a challenge, I hope that I can find the strength to move on.
Pose for the flashes and give them what they want. Become surreal life an image trapped in time. Walk the way your supposed to and become the thing of fantasies and dreams. You are one of a kind, you are for the moment. You are a face in the crowd, the one the crowd wants to be. Give away all that you are and just a little bit more. Bask in the limelight and become dissected as the Paparazzi pull your every move apart. Looking for that fatal flaw, trying to find your more human side. You are part of the image, you are the trend that others have set. So smile for the camera and enjoy your fleeting moment in the sun.
You and your kind
Infested the school halls
Crushed souls with dodge *****
Cheered on blood and bruises
Silenced what the heart chooses
By brutishly brandishing names like ******
As though following love made people psychopathic,
You never understood the pain
You built bridges out of our hurt emotions
And told us to cross them
As though underneath our feet weren’t deep oceans
Of pain and tears
That we bled by bleeding our eyes dry.