I wish life was simple
But it is complex for me
Chaos is the norm
I wish for the unordinary
Cause the ordinary is full of rigidy
The mundane and then tough decisions
Do I go one way or the other
Would everything come together
Or will it be difficult like it is
Could I see the beauty in the fires
Would I be able to put the flames out
Do I always have to struggle
Can't a person be cut a break sometime
Or will it always have to be chasing after the prize
And what is the prize
For me it has been peace of mind
But that seems too much to ask for
So what do I ask and who am I asking to
God,  Satan, angels, demons
Is it all the same or just one big joke that the aliens are playing with us
Who knows
I know my life could be better if I put some action into it but here I sit afraid of the questions and most definitely afraid of the answers

It's sure hell when your down
Everything seems so hard to do
Life seems unbearable
You just want to curl up in a ball
On your bed and sleep the day away
It doesn't even matter if it's nice outside
Cause it's not nice in your head
Getting out of that funk is even harder
Time seems like it stands still
But just putting one foot in front of the other
And hope that the next day will be better
Believing in a higher power
That will bring you through difficulties helps
It makes sense in a world full of hate
Believing in kindness when people aren't kind
Just feeling that good energy flowing in
Protect the heart from confusion and chaos

It isn't up to me if things should
Go smoothly, there are powers
To be that decide that. A lot of
Times things don't go my way
And I have to stop and really
To be honest think of the other
Person because I'm not the
Center of the universe and
There are hell of a lot of people
That are hurting just like me.
I should consider their feelings
Instead of thinking what's in it
For me. I am far from being
Perfect at it or even good for
That matter. I try and that's all
I can say. I try when I get out
Of my own way and quit being
So **** selfish.

It will be okay comes a voice,
A thought, something deep down
Reaches out to me to comfort
I hear it echoeing in my mind
I push it back down in me
Not believeing it can be true
But the day goes by and
Every step I take align itself
With exactly the way things
Unfold and then hindsight
Takes place and it was okay
And there was peace during
The seconds of each hour of
The day. Whatever Power that
Is it's sure a beautiful feeling.
Thank you.

It seems like practically my whole
Life has been just one big nightmare
I have made choices that weren't
Very good. They were almost my demise.
It started when I was a teenager
Thinking I knew better but knew nothing
Even up till today I keep doing it
Sabotaging everything good in my life
Or not making the proper decision
Choosing something that will keep me stuck
Or not choosing something that will help
Me to move forward. I want so badly
to finally come to realize who I am
But even at this age I feel stagnic
The face in the mirror looks flawed
That there is no wisdom behind it
Just confusion
Demons buried deep down
That don't want to see the light of day
Where do I go from here
The mask is so clearly seen
And I don't know what to do about that
I want to step ashore a free man
See the world aknew
But society wants to keep me shackled
To my problems
They want me to fail
Cause then things would make sense to them
But I want to break free from these chains
Find out who I truly am
And what I like and don't like
Find out my values
I've been buried for too long
Walking this planet in a haze
I want to finally break free

I may be down for a while
Then kicked down for long time
I look at the hours gone by
The miutes of discomfort and hurt
There was you laughing at me
Making fun of my condition
Because I stumbled and fell
Made a mistake I shouldn't of
I've asked for forgiveness
Said I was sorry and such
But did it even matter to you
You just wanted to play games
Hurt me in the long run
Over and over again
Teach me a lesson in torture
Make me do pentance
Well, I'm so over it
Moving on and upward
Can't stay on the ground forever
Got to brush myself off and take a step
Then take some more steps
You're always going to be around
Cause you can't live without me
Without trying to make me feel bad
I guess that's your destiny in life
To try to make me feel miserable
It will work here and there
But I'll keep dusting myself off
And moving on
Moving on without you
I hold onto the belief in the ebb and flow
Of life
Such good energy out there leading me
In the right direction
I stumble, make mistakes
Got to apologize and move forward
Can't really continue to go backwards
Not really
I don't want that to happen
I try to believe in he goodness of life
I have experience the ugliness
I could of kept wallowing in it
I would of never got clean
Wash myself off and take the lead
The ebb and flow really has me
And it's a wonderful feeling