The world laughs
And I cringe
What a waste
There I sin
A bad wire
Locked away
****** in the head
Burning on fire
What am I suppose to do
When it doesn't make sense?
No one has a clue
It has all been spent
Farther I go
The lesser I feel
Love is hard
Is it even real?
Cast into reflection
The torment of my soul
There is no affection
Just a loneliness I've been told
And I feel strange to say
What a ****** up day
So perplexed I throw a fit
There is just way too much *******
I ponder what it all means
And pray on my knees
That it's all meant to be
Some kind of purpose
****, if I can't see
Then all is hopeless
And this rambling is free
Upon the threshold of a tree
I'll keep my insanity
It's the only thing real
Here, there, to hell is how I feel
And listening to all kinds of tyranny
I find no solice in thee

I don't claim to know the answers
In all honesty, I don't know ****
I feel, I believe, I have hope
Is that all I really need to know?
I can't give a, "Hell yea!"
It leaves a bitter taste in my mouth
It seems like there has to be more
But it's the only thing I have for now

Maybe that will change, who's to say
I try to make the most of the day
I get out of life of what I put into it
It seems like I've taken so much
And that's why I'm feeling stuck
Karma has it's way to unfold
And if I keep ******* up there will
be nothing left of me, just hollowness
And that's not where I want to be

I've chased after the moon
only to come up empty
I've raised my hands to the stars
only they were out of reach
I've wished upon them time after time
and there was still only a dream
I've slept passed the daylight
and woke up sweating at night

All I ever wanted was to begin aknew
but I was too prideful to ask for help
I couldn't see what was true
there was no escaping myself
The darkness hovered over my head
and I prayed like I always did

"God help me!

There was no burning bush
no lightning bolt
just the darkness lifted a little bit
and I was able to see

The truth is hard to admit
when denial is always there
Falling farther down into the abyss
a deep hole and a deeper pit

Life wasn't looking good
all because of my choices

Then out from the chaos came life
a new meaning and avenue
How it happened I can't explain it
Was it because of accepting the truth
or was it meant to be this way?

Who knows, I sure as hell don't, but I'm very grateful

It's so much easier to hate
Than to cultivate peace, love, and faith
Why should I care about the hereafter
Living day to day is hard enough
I see all the many disasters
And I realize it's tough
Like men and women before me
It's too demanding to live religiously

I hear the birds singing
Their melodies touches my heart
I go where the wind takes me
Farther down this road I tred
I have wished a lot of things
Thousand upon thousand times
I have prayed in different ways
And have gone overboard in my life

The world came from nothing
Ciphers into an endless darkness
No light, like when asleep, and there
In the vast caverns of the mind it
Holds nothing sacred to keep

But even I dream, dream of beautiful things
Things that I  hold dear to me, people I love
And around to see the beautiful things I see
They can hear what I hear and feel  what I feel
And it all makes sense because it's real

The cool breeze of  the fall
The changing colors of the leaves
The sun cascading it's magic upon the trees
Everything seems as it should be

Can there be anything so right
I can taste the dew of the night
See the waxing moon shine bright
And hope there comes another time

But through it all, what if I die?
Then what, where do I go from here?
The world aimlessly rushes to nowhere
And I am caught up in the hustle
The seeminglessly vast tyrant holding
Me by my neck, waiting for death to take me

Close my eyes, what if that's all there was
Just complete darkness, no thoughts
Nothing.

What if I could turn back the wheels of time, start all over from the very
beginning, would I do life the same, letting the darkness control my every            
whim, or would I of let the light in?  The past usually tells me of the future I am destined for, it's like the opening up the door and venturing inside to a place where life blossoms love and happiness.   But the darkness takes hold,
trying to smother what was innocent and pure; from the very beginning it searches out the ones who aren't sure,
making a mockery out of the sunshine in one's little world; it has substance and depth, a whole whirldwind of chaos that plagues the heart and cause a ripple effect of hell's fury. No,
I wouldn't do life again.