What the hell am I doing?
One minute I'm kicking
you out and the next I'm
telling you to come home.
If I could only make up
mind. I realize how
inconsiderate I've been,
I wonder if you could
ever forgive me again,
that seems like all I do
is apologize, if I could
only make up my mind.

Open the door to your heart
and let me share my life with you
I understand it would be easier if
you trusted everything I said and did
I can't say I'll never hurt you
but I'll try like hell not to
I want to be for real and true
hoping you will tell me where you stand
I want us to last forever
please, why don't you take my hand
and I'll show you the promised land
we'll grow wings together
fly like the eagles together
soaring into infinity together
Our love will break the sound barrier
if only you open up and let me in

Excuse me while I try
To wipe back these tears
Lay in bed at night
And wonder why my life
Has turned out the way it has
Karma catches up to the ones
Who are ******* inconsiderate
Death knocks at the door
So close in dying from these tears
So many things I fear
It sounds all good in the making
But it still has to meet the acid test
Can't do what is best
When I'm doing what is wrong
And all will be a horrible dream
Leaving behind a bad taste
In the mouths of others
Lying in the casket
And nothing happens...
Nothing perpetuated

To love
puts a cringe in my heart
to open up
changes everything of who I am
to care
to have companionship
it's complicated
when I just want to be alone
and forget about all these feelings

I smiled at you
you returned it with a frown
what did I ever do
to have you feeling down
All I ever wanted was goodness
to envelope around you
for you to grab a hold
of precious moments instead
of looking at everything so negative

You want the world
but not ready to do anything
you lay around
and complain about everything
I hear what you're saying
you're not happy with life
I don't know what to do
to make you feel everything
will be alright

I try to be there for you
but it seems a waste of time
No matter what I say and do
it seems like nothing is fine
I want the best for you
but you have to be willing to get help
The world is crashing all around
Why don't you turn that frown upside down
It ain't as bad as you think

Feeling stupid
to think you could ever love
a man like me
I gave you everything
and it still wasn't enough
You wanted my pride
My dignity
How much I cried
to find out you were never alone
You had your, "friends"
Never once did I say
to give **** up
But you went away
and I strayed away
Now I'm the *******?
What a ******* hypocrite!
You would smoke it up
and I wanted to drink
But either way
I stayed away
Left you high and dry
And now I'm the *******?
when all you did was tease me
broke my heart a hundred times over
You knew what you was doing with me
It wasn't like we were playing house
And you wanted my soul
and everything in between
But mostly my money
a hundred dollars for crack
and like a ******* ******
I gave in
All because of your sexiness
I wanted in your pants
How can I be such a fool
to think we could be together?
to love?
to hold each other?
to whisper sweet things in our ears?
No, it turned out all wrong

I cut myself
so I won't cut you.
I watch myself bleed
and it hurts me
to think you got one over me
I cry myself to sleep
and let the blood drip
One more cut
One more feeling high
and I dream
of how much I want you to bleed