Your weapon cuts like a knife,
deep and sure, a piercing through the heart
I am your victim, a casualty  of words
they go flying, straight to my head
Mean and unjustifiably wrong
Now I wish myself dead

Can I cry into my pillow,
the emotions I have are great?
I just want to blow,
and be rid of the heaviness in my chest.
Days are filled with hatred,
each one wondering why.
The more I hear I want to ****,
**** the person wanting to wreck my life.

This is the end of you,
the more I see your face I want to destroy;
break **** and tear **** apart,
but I would rather take these hands of mine around your neck,
and choke the very breath out from your eyes.
You are the one setting the course,
creating a death sentence of your life.

Rumors,
How do they get started?
They cause a lot of pain.
The truth gets blurred,
And gossip devolops.
These people aren't happy
Unless they lie about what
You have said and done.
They can't said it that you're happy
It makes their lives
miserable
Because you're not.

Monkey business
lazy atmosphere
Romping around
giddy inside

Time to be serious
a time not to be
Words are hard
difficult to say

Breaming with gratitude
It's flowing
growing
taking stalk of blessings

wonderful!

Nobody is what I feel like
just a nobody
Somebody all alone
all alone inside my head

There's a void inside my gut
no rhyme or reason
My heart is closed shut
and I can feel the changing seasons

Looking for something real
it isn't as easy as I thought
The past lays waste to how I feel
and the hollowness is my cross

I bear it...

To the ones I have hurt, I apologize for my transgressions
What a ******* fool I was, so ******* clueless about life
I bulldozed the ones I loved, causing so much oppression
Just because of the ******* selfishness I had inside
What a waste my life has been, turning away so many friends
Proving to others that I'm not to be trusted
I would steal your wallet and help you look for it
I would smile at you and then stab you in the ******* back
There was nothing meaningful in my world
just everything you owned and had
And then I wondered why I felt so ******* bad
I thought my life cursed but I set the ball rolling
choosing the darkness instead of the light
And then I wondered why I felt so ******* bad inside

There is a moment, something ******* stopping me
Some kind of a ******* force, I can't ******* explain it
What I want to say and do, which would cause me turmoil
Isn't so hard not to say and do these things, like a few seconds
has been added to rescue me from ******* stupidity
I want to punch my co-worker, such a *******
the way he treats me is that I'm his ******* *****
these few seconds are very precious, I hold my tongue
and ball up my fist. I take it up the *** instead of making
matters worse and winding up in prison
This guy needs to be ******* punched, some people just ******* deserve it. This guy surely does. But wherever this force comes from I'm not going to question it because it saves me from the anger within

Looking for the answers, the truth within
Praying to the heavens, searching from without
The secrets that I told myself, the attitude to destroy
Scars of ashes all up and down my arm
I wanted to feel the physical
I wanted no emotional
The actions I caused because of self-harm
I couldn't see anything beautiful
only the darkness plagued my senses
I spent years of self-doubt
killing any hope of a normal life
Now there is only the insane
and still I feel my own self-pain