Spoke too soon, I guess I’m always wrong.
What’s the point of thinking anything good about others if they’re the ones who are always proving you wrong.
So I guess I’m just a ploy in their never ending charade.
It doesn’t matter if you’re weak, if they decide to ruin your life it’s their way or no way.
So **** everyone I’ve ever encountered.
I guess you’re all the reason why I’m nothing but a bipolar downer.
But you’re all infected parasitic waste.
So here’s to hoping I can dodge the rest of your petty ******* games.

Where do you go when you can’t take the blade?
I don’t understand why this life holds so much pain.
Would I be better off wandering in the rain?
I have no idea where to turn because I’m going insane not being able to turn the page.
So as I block out the bad, and hope they let me it of their grasp, I’ll hope that one day this is something I can get past.
But there’s nothing for me here and nothing is clear.
I just think things would be better if someone was near.

Manipulating lives, ignorance in disguise.
What is with all the fuckery?
I think I’m gunna end up losing my sanity.
Why do people care so much about vanity?
I’m slowly becoming more me.
But there will never be a key.
It doesn’t bother me now.
So I’ll try to stay as sane as possible as I try not to take the final bow.

How do I get out of this mess?
And regain whatever feelings were mine in my chest?
The masquerade is like an army filled with hate.
Why the **** did they take it this far? There’s no way to escape.
I let them turn me into a person I swore I’d never be.
What drives people to try to lead someone into insanity?
So as I hope that I’ll break free and never return.
I’ll just watch in the distance as I hope they all burn.

It seems my life is iridescent.
Why am I always after question after question?
Will it get me closer to feeling more alive?
I think I need to buy myself a little more time.
We stumbled into each other’s lives but I’m always feeling like I’m on the outside.
Can you see me? I’m doing my best not to only hide.
Is it easy?
You make life look like a simple stride.
Do you need me?
Don’t answer that, I’m tired of hearing so many lies.
I need to free me.
Before I get washed up on the tide.

Why did I ever care?
No one was ever really there.
My whole existence is planned out.
That’s why no one truly cares.
And all everyone hoped was for me to stay oblivious and never find out.
I guess I’ll always be filled with doubt.
I just wish there was literally any way out.
So I guess that’s why they burdened me with all of these disorders.
It’s clear that this life has no order.
I find it sickening that life is really this ******.
I don’t care whose side they’re on cause I’ve had enough.
It’s so misconstrued when I call their bluffs.
The truth is distorted, will they ever get enough?
Why is everything about evil and greed?
Blinded by hate because no one ever sees.
Why doesn’t anyone care about all of humanity.
They say life isn’t fair but when you’re suffering you can find it hard to see.
Being unbiased has faded away, and for me there’s no hope for a brighter shade.
So **** the masquerade because they feed on the weak.
all they care about is power, evil and greed.
Maybe they don’t see, but I think they’re all corrupt.
**** it all because life has turned into a cesspool of people fiending over corrupted lust.

Come find me in my dreams,
Cause my life is falling apart at the seams.
And I still can’t figure out what all of this means.
I’m tired of only having nightmares,
But I’m left wondering why I’m not scared.
I want to live, and not be stuck in this shell.
I try to get past this but I still dwell.
I guess I’m just bored of the mundane,
And tired of the fact that no one ever stays.

Death is lingering and no salvation seems to be in sight.
The days are blurring and getting too hard to bear and i can't seem to sleep at night.
The pettiness is growing, there's some fear i'm holding, for those i care about the pain keeps growing, and i don't know how to fix what's unfolding.
So how do i save myself or the ones i love?
It's heartbreaking to witness and something the ignorant sadists can't get enough of.
I don't know why life unfolds in despicable ways, there are too many problems and too much that needs to change.
But the power hungry won't stop and it makes no sense.
Even when things get out of hand they're all still blinded and hell bent.

I still love you,
But something wasn’t right.
I still love you,
It’s hard to make it through these nights.
I still love you,
I just wish I could make things right.
I still love you,
And I hope you’re alright.

All the good got ****** away.
My mind is like a killer and I hope they all get slain.
I’d do it myself but I don’t know where they’re hiding.
I try to show truth but they always deny it.
I’m on my last stand with nothing but hate in my heart.
I don’t know where I’m headed but I know I’ll soon depart.
Why take it this far with no regard?
Who knew getting rid of the problems would be this hard.

You say i need to get what i deserve.
The last i checked you robbed me of any self worth.
Life isn't a path to your demise full of hurt.
Tell me again how i'm entitled, when you have always been doing and planning worse.
So now all the parasites are feeding off of my suffering.
You are all an infestation, and i was never bluffing.
I know i don't deserve anything good from all of you people's ******* "work".
But who the **** are any of you to have taken away everything good?
I know for a fact the "masquerade" deserves worse.
For tormenting the weak no matter who was guilty first.

There is no amount of suffering any of you could endure, for dragging me through life while wanting nothing but the worst.
How long have you had senseless hate in your eyes?
My existence is petty slavery always leading to my demise.
If I could make you all rot and consecutively burn, for as long as you’ve all desecrated my life and any self worth.
I’d do it without hesitation for every hour, minute and second you’ve strung me along as your puppet like witness.
All I can see is petty lies stemming from hate.
But there was never any real reason until you all filled my eyes up with the very same hate.

With all of you peoples torment I can’t be sane.
But it looks like life is turning the page.
I just met you Ava but I want to keep you safe.
But with the way my life unfolds there might not be a way.
So as I hope to watch you grow up to be the you you want to be, I’ll hope things don’t stay this way, because you’re almost the only thing I want to be okay.

I could tie you all up one by one, but there isn't enough suffering I could cause to properly get the job done.
not even a diamond saw could let me torture you enough. not enough blood, not enough guts. even blistering your skin with a blow torch would even let me overcome.
so as the days pass by and I wish I could slaughter you all, I'll hope sometime soon you ***** all fall.
but the only way that would ever suffice is to rip out your organs through your mouth and your belly button for making my existence more than a hellish bad dream always leading to my merciless demise.

Who's left to trust?
Was there anyone there to begin with?
I feel like i'm drifting further and further away into the nothingness that consumes me.
But somehow at the same time i feel as though i'm becoming more whole.
I know there could be far worse things than being alone, but when everyone and everything is so connected it's hard to make it when you really don't have anyone.
So how do i spin my own web?
How do i find where i'm supposed to be?
Maybe i don't belong here.
I can't remember the last time i felt like i was truly home.
I guess i ****** up far before i knew where i was going.
So where to now?
I know i need to get away.
There's nothing for me here, but i've never really been too fond of exploring the world on my own.
And maybe that's why it scares me.

It seems i have a distorted way of thinking.
No matter how badly i want to be worthy of love,
I just feel so ******* worthless.
I probably am, since you broke me.
I've been trying to be who i was before you tore my heart out of my chest.
But i'm too far gone, past the point of just a mess.
Am i even a person anymore?
I guess biologically speaking, but the depth of my mind is withering away.
No longer caring about the fabric of my own existence.
Instead of my former seemingly carefree days,
I've been going through periods of pure nothingness, wanting to wish myself out of existence.
Periods of pure agony, and crushing grief.
Moments of immense regret.
And times of unspeakable anger.
All the good is being ****** out of me.
Maybe i never had any of my own.
Maybe i was just borrowing theirs.
I know i need a savior.
But it's probably not part of my fate.
I know, i'm always too late.
I just wish i could change the pace.
Or even just have a happy couple of days.
Why does it always have to be about love?
I guess i should have learned to love myself, back when i was almost enough.

You keep wondering when the pain will end.
Asking yourself how someone can be saddened so deeply.
There isn't always an answer.
But the fact of the matter is that you were never careful with your heart.
With eyes full of hope, and a heart filled with love, all you ever knew were good intentions.
You never expected to get hurt this bad.
To be so damaged.
But how do you heal?
I've heard the only cure for pain is love.
But who could love such a broken soul.
Some might say I'm desperate, and maybe I am.
But if it isn't real then you can count me out.
It took me a while to learn how to feel with all I have, and now nothing compares.
If you ask me, I'm not desperate.
Just a lonely soul looking for someone who wants to feel how beautiful love can be.

As I fantasize about your skin being ripped to shreds, starting with nailing you to the floor until I get to your head.
I’d slowly torch your flesh until the blisters peel off. Thanks for being the worst and making me someone I’m not.
There is no amount of torture that would ever suffice, for ripping apart my life at the seams. The only just thing is you peoples demise. I want to tear out your insides while keeping you alive. Just to show you what suffering is like. So here’s to the fake life that you used to get to where you are. And all the fakes that made me think nothing was ever wrong. So as I slit open your skin and saw off your limbs, I’ll just hope you’re all dead before your next victim ends up with nothing of theirs within.

Maybe sometimes it feels like everyone's against you.
But you keep trying to mend your shattered pieces to keep walking down these roads without dropping anything too valuable.
So you keep asking yourself if this life is really worth it.
It is.
But you keep wondering because you feel so alone.
Maybe it's because you can't seem to get the shards back in the right places so you end up bleeding out.
Save yourself.
Be the light.
Stop letting the darkness swallow you whole.
And you think to yourself, if this life has taught me anything, it's that no matter how alone you are, no matter how far gone you think you are, there will always be light.
Find the good in the bad.
Make your own history.
And maybe in the meantime you'll find yourself along the way.
But believe me when I say, everything will end up okay.

And maybe it's wrong for me to want you even though you don't notice me.
Maybe you'll never notice me.
And maybe that makes me fell a little bit useless and pathetic.
But I think I can learn to accept it.

Walking down these staggering roads, and nowhere really feels like home.
If only i could put back my pieces better so i could be more whole.
But i guess it won't work this time.
So numb i don't even cry.
Why do i need someone by my side?
**** this, i think i'll just stay inside and hide.
But when you're as hated as me it's hard to see clearly.
For the ones who never came back, i do miss you dearly.
If only i could just run away.
But i don't think i'm strong enough to make a clean escape.
Can't tell if it's getting better or worse by the day.
Things aren't horrible, so i guess i'm okay.

Sadistic ignorance.
How do I get away from you peoples conniving entitlement and belligerence?
All you people want is to be sadists.
But that doesn't keep life going forward it keeps your targets in remiss.
So as I hope you'll all reach an unspeakable demise.
I'll also hope you all unwillingly run out of time.
Because there's no sense anyone could teach any of you.
Its no wonder life is this petty and misconstrued from your bigoted minds in ugly ******* hues.

There no place to go.
There's no staircase.
Not down.
Not up.
Just in a ******* spiral.
It's out of ******* control.
And there's no value or sense this despicable universe holds.
Why the hell did I ever care?
I regret giving a **** because no one was ever ******* there.
So I'm the one always gasping for ******* air.
And dying consecutively because no one will ever care.
You people are undeserving ungrateful and ruthless in every sense.
You take with no regard or remorse and you give to make it seem just.
So **** the universe and almost every living being that's still here.
If anyone else comes back, they'll end up just like you vile ***** or end up gasping for fuckomg air.
So as I hope that I reach my final breath, I'll hope that I can first watch you peoples ruthlessly morbidly and brutally despicable deaths for every person you did this to and would never give it a God damm ******* rest.

So many paths and all of them are planned.
What do I do about every short hand?
I guess I know a little about their master plan.
But with all of their hidden agendas where the **** do I stand?
No one understands what is is to be me.
Everyone says they know me but it’s just versions that I’ve been.
So how do I find myself and regain what I lack?
I lost every part of who I was and I just want to get it back.
What was the point of planning out someone else’s life?
They should have just let me succumb to the knife.
Never truly happy cause I always lose it all.
They knew it was only a matter of time till I fall.
But I keep falling and getting trapped in this sequence.
Who the **** even lives like this?
I’m finding that there are more enemies that I never even met.
Why the **** are so many people out to get me i’m filled with regret.
Their plans were just to use me for their own sick gain.
Why use someone for power? I’m going insane.
I’m so sick of the torment and all of the lies.
I feel like so many people are wearing a disguise.
I can’t tell who I am anymore.
I have nothing to say because I’m consumed in this petty *******, I’m more or less a bore.
So how do I get away and live the rest of my life?
Something tells me I won’t get very far because I’m always left thinking about the knife.

Maybe it's my fate to be all alone.
At least i'm getting better at standing on my own.
The memories of your ghost still creep by swaying me to try.
But i still feel as though i'm at the bottom trying not to cry.
Maybe i was never worth saving.
And now i'm left going back to the cravings,
Of liquor soaked dreams, and sad melodies.
So as the days continue to pass, i'll try to make it one more day and not let this breathe be my last.

The conspiracy never ends.
And my wrists miss the sting of the blade.
Maybe I'm not completely insane,
But I'm sick and ******* tired of everyone's games.
I'm so ******* dead and being drained of my spirit.
There's no salvation and the misery stays incoherent.
I have a death wish and I don't even fear it.
I'm done with everyone's ignorance.
Stop making me your punching bag because not even I want to hear it.

Infecting my mind and the rest of my being, the tests were pointless and none of you see it.
At a loss in where I stand because you’re all a part of my mind.
Get the **** out, I want to find a way to tear out your insides.
But this demented mess gets more petty by the day.
Isn’t there a way for your organs to be rearranged?
So as I try to find another way I’ll hope you people find some sense.
I’m losing it here and I want to rip out your veins and your tongues and chain your lifeless bodies to the fence.

The storm is back and it’s comforting to feel.
I know I should try to heal, but I keep stumbling and this doesn’t even feel real.
So as I try to pick up the broken parts of my being, I’ll try to have hope but for me it’s not something I can fathom seeing.
I guess it’s a godsend that I’m still breathing.
But everything’s so misconstrued that I’m stuck leaving.

I guess I’ll never really feel at home.
Because my heart too often turns to stone.
It’s nice sometimes to not feel so alone.
But with the waning of the moon I’m running out of places to go.
So why do I always end up with hope?
I know there’s nothing for me in this life, but I can’t find a path on this staggering road.
So until I find a better way to go, I guess I’ll always be leaving because alone is what I know.

Left for dead.
Get the **** out of my head.
The feelings I had were mine.
But now I’m stuck drifting through your made up disguises.
What’s the point of keeping me here if everything I am is something you’re stuck hiding?
I’m losing my ******* mind.
And I can’t stop thinking about my lack of time.
So I guess I’ll never appreciate the sun shine.
Because nothing that’s going on leads to anything other than my demise.

Still living as a shadow.
Tell me now, where does the good go?
Trying to find something with meaning.
Why can I only find it when I’m dreaming?
I know you make me feel like myself.
So tell me how can I stop the drought?
My mind is always hiding in the dark.
Is it the same with my heart?
Maybe one day I’ll be able to let the light shine through.
I guess I’m just happy you still want to continue.
You could probably say I’m still a mess.
So I don’t want to leave you with less.
But I’m struggling to be found.
I just hope I don’t drown.

Day by day, season by season,
I can't begin to count the reasons.
Why can't I make it on my own?
Why did you destroy me the way you did?
Why am I still left wondering?
It hit me hard.
You were a lesson.
But you showed me how blissful love can be.
And here I am still left searching for a new flame.
Will I ever find a love as deep as ours once was?
Or will I be left wandering alone with a heavy heart and high hopes?
I guess I'll never know.
I just hope you haven't lost your spark as I continue searching for the one that you put out.

The storm overthrew my life.
And now I’m left wanting to feel the blade of the knife.
A once calming hue has turned black.
And I’m stuck wanting to gain what I lack.
They tell me I’m sick but I can’t see it.
Things are so dreary I can’t even believe it.
So as I try to find some hope, I’ll try not to succumb to the rope.
And maybe try to let go.

Trying my hardest not to think about the end.
But there's no hope for me, no hope to mend.
Unwanted everywhere i go.
Why the **** do i have so much hope?
I guess i just need to let go.
Of everything, and not let my feelings show.

My true colours have faded away.
How do I make my great escape?
Where will I go while my shadow consumes me?
Death is coming and I don’t want to plea.
So what is it that I really need?
I just want to feel the blade and let it bleed.

Stop living in vain.
Everything is vain, life holds no value.
No one is sane.
Its all just shadows.
What is everyone chasing?
Nothing that means anything.
Its just a downwards spiral of belligerence.
******* all i hope everyone who was involved burns.

How far will people get before the stakes are too high?
Is it only me fearing my demise?
I don’t know if it’s just me but things seem catastrophic.
**** the masquerade, why do they love this?
How many people will they **** over before things get too dire?
**** my time here people are such ******* liars.
Before things got too contorted and distorted, I wanted to see the beauty in the world. But no one else seemed to be for it.
So as I watch my life crash before my eyes, trying to figure out how to get out of this mess and figure out all of their lies.
I’ll hope that the ones who stay in my life aren’t wearing a disguise.
Because no one seems true and I barely even care about my demise.

The lies never end, you people deserve to descend.
I know I’ll never mend because my life is just pretend.
So how long will you keep up this hoax?
I think it’s time to take some notes.
You should never bring someone into this misery.
And no one cares if they can truly see.
So go ahead and wish to not turn out like me, I’ve already lost my sanity.
And you’ve all lost it with your alliance and greed.

The sadists never stop in their ignorance and hate.
There has never been a way to escape or change my untimely merciless fate.
Maybe it doesn't seem untimely but when they're always at your throat, there's never room to compromise, just stupid ultimatums until it's my time to go.
Every time i'm here, everything's the same. Just sadistic ignorance and giving me all of the blame.
I don't know or remember how all of this started. But it's one sided and pretty heartless.
There are no answers, only lies. And mostly everyone just changing their disguise.
There was never any cure to calm the tides.
Every time i live, they're always planning my demise.

Life has it's doubts but this isn't the way it should turn out.
Maybe the conspiracy is coming to an end.
But the way things are going people need more of a godsend.
I know things took a turn for the worst, but that doesn't stop the masses from putting themselves first.
You can't live life wanting to destroy everything in sight.
Or wish to fade away into the night.
So to those who have lost, i'll wish you return.
And for the ones who got trapped, don't expect things to stand still.
Maybe things can go deeper if you will.
But that doesn't mean time has to stand still.
To each end there's a new beginning.
Life is humanity everyone deserves to be winning.

Wandering through life without a sense of direction.
Searching for meaning for so long that I can’t stand my own reflection.
What happened to the rhythm that used to flow in synchronicity?
I’m lost and I don’t think I’ll ever be found because there’s no key to help me find better scenery.
So as I gaze at the stars on a cold autumn night, I’ll try to find new dreams that maybe aren’t out of sight.
I don’t want to fade away into the night.
But who knew this life would force you to put up this much of a fight.

Maybe there's no such thing as fate.
Maybe people are horrible to each other because it's more accepted.
More accepted to have an opinion- to judge.
More accepted to spread hate rather than love.
But that's not the way I like to look at things.
If it were up to me, I would say we should choose love.
Maybe then we wouldn't always hear horror stories in the news about our world falling apart.
Instead of choosing love and peace, we are choosing at the very least dislikes and hatred.
And that's not sustainable for the greater population.
Yeah I guess there's a circle of life, but it shouldn't be dominated by how you're feeling at the time.

No one is deserving.
I guess life was never worth it.
What's the sense in living through lies?
And planning out the unsuspecting's demise?
I hope you all run out of time before you get to witness the sun shine.
And maybe if i'm lucky i'll just drop dead this time.

There is no god anymore. He's an imposter.
When people stopped being pure, the psychopathic sadists came up with too much to foster.
There's no hope for anything with meaning.
All people are is ignorant and greedy.
No one is deserving, and the cult won't stop.
Is it a cult or the universe? This is a sickening plot.
You can't treat everyone you people don't like as your slaves.
Life is nothing but guilty parasitic liars and their games.
What is power if you cheat your way There?
And do whatever you want and dont care what's left anywhere?
Life could never last with this contorted reality of corruption.
I guess the ignorant sadists won because there's no way to rise above it.
******* all for the lives you ripped away, without any hope for any better day.
Life is nothing but death lingering on a page.
No one is deserving. There will never be another way.
So as you people keep playing god and the devil and karma, having everything you feel that life should be, it's no wonder life is this corrupt. And people lie, cheat and steal. And ruin those who can't see.
So keep playing games with your "immortal" personas. This is all a hoax. Everyone might as well be in a ******* coma.
Why is everything based on everyone's lies. All of your lying and stealing makes you all need a new disguise.
But all of the wrong genes have spread their way across everywhere they should have never gone.
Everyone involved should have been ******* rid from this world or suffering for their sins before anything went this wrong.

While you all weasel your way into my being, I realize it's nothing no sane person could ever fathom seeing.
All of this ******* is hard to keep believing.
I don't understand how your cult like alliance never fails to stop.
It's been so long and I've had more than enough.
If you live your life ******* up others, then where do you stand?
Choosing peoples impossible hands should not be your master plan.
So as I realize that I could give and did give and it still wasn't enough, you people will always have the hate in my heart because you all so selfishly tore my life apart.

Life is too vain and it's full of deceit.
You people do too many despicable things and it leaves others trapped underneath.
This life is like a cesspool, and you're all filled with greed.
I'd erase you all, to try to be free.
I've lost my sanity, it's all just a hoax.
You people make life feel like a horrendously ridiculous joke.
So as I try not to choke, I'll keep in mind that there was never any hope.
I've suffered too many of you peoples petty blows, to feel sorrow.
It's just a contorted mess and I'm only left with anger and woe.

Can't escape from these pre determined plans.
I can't live like this and my life already fell through the cracks.
Never having a chance isn't an easy road.
But at least i guess there were times that weren't so miserably hollow.
I don't know what's next but nothing ever works.
I just wish i didn't have to live through lives filled with suffering and hurt.

When parasites never stop spreading their disease, you find out nothing will change if you leave.
Life is hard to conceive, because these bigoted narcissists run off of their power tripping greed.

The sky is turning black and cold.
I never fit into my ideal mould.
I don't know what's to come but it's the end of this life.
Why did i ever turn to the knife?
There's no way i can escape, so this is what's at stake,
My precious little girl wandering into a world filled with hate.

The chaos never ceases to unfold.
There is no ideal mould.
Life grew too cold.
And there's seldom mercy they show.
There's nothing for me that the future holds.
So I guess that's why I'm left with just growing old.