Everything is planned to be contorted distortion. Will there ever bbe another notion? My fate might not be sealed but there’s no room for deals, and no time to heal. So how will they continue to conceal when everything is misconstrued with these renegades petty deals? So **** them all because nothing will ever make sense. It all just comes to whoever they want dead. So how do I get out? Because none of this is clear. They don’t like things to be linear but it’s life so the truth should be ideal. So whatever is in the cards, I know it won’t work out. Because no one ever listens to the facts because they change fate without paying attention to their doubt.

Petty games.
Why is life filled with lies and senseless disdain.
I can't stay sane, because everyone's eyes are filled with hate and most people are the same with the masquerade they play.
So why can't i get out of the pit they dug?
Life makes no sense and most people are fake or smug.
I don't know why i always get trapped in their sequence, but it feels like something that should just get dismissed.
But instead it's my life that stays in remiss.
All of this nonsense is driving me insane.
I need to find a way out because i don't see life as this ****** up petty game.

All of these stories are flowing, how could it ever get boring?
I'm feeling like i can't see any of this me enduring.
But how will i stop the worry?
I don't know who to turn to, so where do i find some new shoes?
Maybe i can find it in me to figure out all of these clues.
If only i had it in me to grow, i wouldn't mind feeling mostly sorrow.
And maybe it's not that fact that i don't, i just have too much hope.
These feelings are fleeting and i've been stuck on mending.
It may not be worse than i think but i'm so done with pretending.
That these games are all that it seems, but i know that they're not.
Looking at the motions i'm far from distraught.
So where am i headed now with my eyes strung with hope?
I'm ready to start trying harder and not tie the noose around my throat.
But everything changes so far from what i had in mind,
I feel like i'm doing mostly nothing but wasting precious time.
So in these passing days i'll try to give all that i've got.
And try in the meantime feel less than distraught.

There is no mercy I have to show.
You people deserve to rot no matter what woe.
Life is supposed to be a gift, not something you get dragged through with desecration.
You people are moronic imbeciles who poisoned the entire population.
So with tainted beings around every corner, I'll keep walking away knowing there's no order.
I hope you people are trapped in every circle of hell for the rest of eternity.
And I'll keep wondering why im still here if I'm so much of a burden.
But no torture would ever be fit.
Because you dismember peoples lives just so you can have whatever you wanted to win.

Acting like people are beneath you won’t get you very far.
Maybe that’s why this town is like a cult of an army, stealing things from others to reach the stars.
But you can’t go your whole life disregarding everyone else.
Just because you’re not happy with who you are doesn’t mean to contort what isn’t yours with nothing but your hate and doubts and no reasoning to what it’s for.
So as I hope people will see that misconstrued plots are no way to live, I’ll hope they stop using me as their ploy just to get to where they want to sit.
How long will this go on until they finally see, if you work on yourself first you’ll be all you’ll ever need.

As the days pass I find that there’s nothing for me here.
Just some loneliness and different fears.
If I could run away and start on a new page I think I’d have a better change of pace.
But my life has turned into a demented race.
What’s the prize? What happened to everyone true face?
Sometimes I want to bleed away the pain, or dissolve my fears in the pouring rain.
But these days it’s so hard to stay sane.
When all anyone does is act like this is all some deformed charade.
So as I fantasize about crashing head first or jumping to my demise. I’ll try to keep whatever’s good within to help me pass the time.
But it seems right now I can’t appreciate the sun shine.
I just wish it wasn’t the end of the line.

Sometimes death seems like it lingers.
But I just want to be free.
There’s too much working against me.
And nothing is ever as it seems.
So why do they ignore my pleas?
They took it too far and I ****** up.
So what else is falling apart at the seams?
If I could fix this mess I would do it in a heartbeat.
But I’m inept and stuck strapped down in this seat.
It’s like everything gets ripped out from under my feet.
And it gets harder everyday to be the person I feel is me.
So as I try to get out of the crossfire,
I’ll hope that things don’t get too dire.
As I try to get out of the grasp of all the thieves and liars.

And maybe I'm crazy.
Maybe everything does happen for a reason.
Maybe I've been so oblivious that I keep failing to see what's really going on.
I guess I've always been blinded with false hope for finding love.
But God knows I'll never be enough.
Stumbling through the darkness isn't always easy.
Especially when you don't know which path to take.
Maybe it's hard to tell who's really there for you.
And maybe you feel like no one really is.
But you keep finding light in the darkest places.
Maybe there is a savior on your side.
But when you're this lost and hopeless, it's hard to say if you'll really make it through.
But my advice to you is to just try.
Try to make it.
Try to find the light.
Don't just try.
Don't just survive.
Live.

They're ******* the life right out of me.
Devil's disguised as family and friends.
How will i ever mend?
When no one's on your side,
You have no choice other than to get out or hide.
Where am i going?
I just want to get away from here, and out of this mess.
I'm so ******* broken i want to tear my heart right out of my chest.
So enraged that i can't make it through the haze.
And it seems my life is a game, and i'm all on my own.
What happened to love?
What happened to peace?
What happened to kindness?
All these memories that i recollect,
Make me realize that i deserve some ******* respect.

Why can’t I find myself?
Where did the pieces go?
Will I ever know who I am?
Or will I continue to keep losing hope?
I guess sometimes it comes back.
But it’s still me that I lack.

falling further down the staggering *****.
nothing left, nowhere to go.
I've lost any chance to find my own place to call home.
but everything's lost and my true feelings never show.
so as I try to understand how the choas started, I'll try to figure out how I'm not broken hearted.
I guess my fate is up to my merciless demise.
and how I never fully thought about my lack of time.

Every time I have a dream it always gets shattered.
I guess having only nightmares is rubbing off on me.
No hope.
No soul.
Never having another to hold.
So what’s left of the plot?
I’ve spent too much time distraught.
Everything is so played out.
And I’m always left with doubt.
Is there hope to find a soulmate?
Everyone always locks the gate.
But with no soul I guess it’s hopeless.
So I guess I’m stuck living my life in remiss.
Unless I find someone and fall for their kiss.
But I’m so damaged and lost.
So I guess I’m stuck alone at all costs.

I just want to get lost gazing at the stars,
Go on a drive and hope the destination isn’t too far.
Watch the sun rise and maybe the sunset too.
But I don’t know where I’m going, not one clue.
So as I try to find some beauty in this seemingly chaotic world, I’ll keep waiting to witness something beautiful unfurl.
But what’s left in the mess of my life?
I don’t want it to be this way but I have to keep my wrists away from the knife.

What happened to the love locked inside my chest?
I’m aching for another’s touch but I can’t fathom what will happen next.
I feel so trapped and there’s nothing for me here.
I miss the feelings I once had but there are no more tears.
So as I try to pick myself up and brush off the debris from my misconstrued fate.
I’ll try harder to gain what I lack, as I try to escape.

The burdens are louder than thunder.
The blows ignite like lightning.
Why the **** am I always fighting.
I hate how all of this is one sided.
It leaves me so blinded.
If there is truth left I'll find it, and you people will never stop hiding it.
But when the tides cease I'll hope I can find me.

Standing here alone. It’s breaking my bones. Will I ever find another to hold? Or will I end up cold and searching for my way home? I guess time will tell what’s in store. I just hope I find an open door.

No wonder in my days.
I'll never get off this page.
Life will never shine.
I guess I ran out of time.

As i'm searching through the storm. I can't seem to find my way.
It seems everyone's deceiving me, but i just want to feel okay.
What am I looking for?
I'm not sure I know.
Just searching for some answers, or the right path, but nothing can guide me home.
It seems I've been doomed from the start.
Or have I?
I just want to mend my broken heart.
Maybe find someone to love me as i try not to fall apart.

I used to mask the misery with anything i could get my hands on.
Molly, *****, whiskey. But i guess it never really worked out for me.
Don't get my brand wrong, i don't fit into any crowd anyway.
Forever an outcast, dwelling on the past.
Trying to find my worth.
Undeserving of this earth.
But my legs are broken and my soul is bruised.
I don't know who i am, or what i should do.
All i've ever wanted was stability.
It seems it's out of my ability.
The only consistent pattern in my life, is crumbling into pieces and pretending everything's alright.
If only i could find a light, i could make my way through all of these long nights.
It was always love that kept me going.
Been alone for so long and this emptiness won't stop growing.
How can i fill the void?
I feel like an old toy.
Always being passed along or misplaced.
Just hoping to stumble onto a new lover's face.
I guess it's no use when you feel mostly dead inside, so maybe it's better if i continue to hide.

Lost soul.
Where’s the woe?
Is it time to find a change of scenery?
For too long I’ve felt that the problem is me.
If only I could learn how to see.
Maybe I could find the pieces of me that make me who I really am.
But as time goes on I can’t tell where I stand.
I want to bloom into the person I should be.
But I’ve been losing touch and becoming someone I could never see as me.
So as I try to find a brighter hue, I’ll hope that things get less misconstrued.
But I’m always lost and searching for my shoes, I guess I’ll have hope that the darkness makes way for a clearer view.

The days of thinking I was good enough are gone.
Will there ever be a happy song?
Why did everything go this wrong?
I’ll never love or be loved, but it’s the truth.
If only I could try to change my luck by finding my shoes.
But everything is way too misconstrued.
And I don’t know how much longer I’ll be able to continue.
So as I try to find a way to stay okay, I’ll hope that I can change my fate.
Maybe I’ll find another way to reach the stars.
Because I don’t know if I’ll ever get back all of my lost heart.

When life is conspiring against you how do you figure it out?
Things have changed too much and now you're filled with doubt.
When they take everything that made you who you are, how do you get out and find a fresh start?
But life keeps knocking you down,
And you've lost all of your heart.
So why don't I just take that final leap?
There's nothing in this world that I could ever keep.
Sometimes it's worse than it seems.
So I try to hide in my dreams.
But there's nothing left in this life for me.
No hope to find a key.
So I guess in the time I have left I'll try not to be such a mess.
As I try to deal with all of this distress.
As I try to prolong tying the noose around my neck.

How do you start to rebuild after sinking deeper and deeper into the hellhole of your life?
Why am i always filled to the brim with these negative emotions.
I miss feeling as deep as the ocean.
But now i'm cold and alone with no way home.
My brittle bones can't withstand the weather.
I just wish i could figure this out and try to make all of this better.
But my being is worn and tethered.
And i'm left with these typed out letters.
So as i try to regain as much of my lost heart that i can fathom,
I'll try to stop living in the shadows.
And hope to breathe some life into my lost soul, i just really wish i had somewhere to go or someone to hold.

I guess hiding in my dreams gives me new scenery.
But some things are deceiving, will I ever find some peace?
Is my life still falling apart at the seams?
Or is there hope to construct a better reality?
Something tells me I’ll always be a lost soul.
Searching and wandering until death takes its toll.
I guess it’s not in my fate to have another to hold.
I guess I better find myself and rebuild what’s been done to my lost soul.

Pondering about love.
Is it like the stardust from above?
The heartache is coming back.
Will I find someone who isn’t wearing a mask?
I feel like I’m walking down a darker path.
But I kind of feel like I’m getting myself back.
So I guess I’ll be waiting in the dark, as I try to find a key to my heart.
Hopefully it doesn’t get too cold, just waiting for a hand to hold.

I can't take this life anymore.
There's no way to settle the score.
I wasn't asking for much, and they **** me over so much more.
Now i'm nothing but a worthless bore.
I'm in a sociopathic state, i can't even fathom hate.
There doesn't seem like a way i could escape.
I feel like i'm tied down and locked in a cage.
I don't have any hope for a better day.
**** them all, i'm going insane.
Why can't i just move past the torment?
I guess it's cause they won't let anything lie dormant.
I want to tear my organs right out of my being.
Be done with this ******* but i'm having trouble seeing.
Why did i have to sink so low?
I'm worse than them and in this life there's nowhere else i can really go.

The pieces are rearranging, I just wish I could get stuck in a daydream.
All of this seems a little crazy, and it’s hard to fathom why everyone hates me.
So how do I put myself back together?
I don’t even feel right in my favourite sweater.
I don’t want to treat everyone as just a letter, but I try and try and I don’t think I’m getting better.
So I guess I’ll just hide in my sleep, as the lulling of whiskey puts me at ease.

Living my life as someone else, when can I be set free?
Stop acting like you know me, this is petty slavery.
All their lies and stories have been manipulated to be true, what’s there left to do?
My whole life I’ve been trapped in a losing battle, why can’t I find my shoes?
This cuts deeper than you think, will I ever find a way not to sink?
Why can’t I find my way out of their grasp?
I just need to find something, literally anything that lasts.

Does the gloomy weather bring dread?
I think there’s still some thorns in my head.
Can I find a way to break the cycle?
My life seems planned out like a recital.
So when will I find a ray of light?
It’s getting harder to make it on my own at night.
Does the gloom consume my harmless thoughts?
My dreams are so vivid, they leave me distraught.
If I can’t even escape the chaos in my dreams, then what else could I possibly conceive?
I’ll just keep hoping to find something to bring hope, as I try not to choke on all of the games the masquerade wants to never stop to play.

Why did I end up like this?
They ****** me over for too long and turned me into everything I swore I would never be.
Is that why they take the truth away?
It’s so misconstrued, how many others are hoping for a better day?
Why do they have to cover everything up?
It’s been long overdue that I’ve had more than enough.
So why do they keep picking everything apart?
I’m more damaged than whatever they did to my heart.
Why do they play god?
There’s no use in beating the odds.
Because they map everything out.
And give those less fortunate a harder life.
I don’t know about you but it makes me want to tear out my insides.
Would things be easier if I just gave in and took my own life?
I want to fix things but there’s seldom me left inside.
So why is everyone taking others lives into their own hands?
You can’t get rid of bad karma on other people’s hands.
So what’s with this cruel master plan?
They left me hopeless and it makes me want others to suffer less, so I guess now I have my own plans.
I don’t know what they’re doing or why.
But they make me die a little bit everyday even though I’m running out of time.
Too many people wear a disguise.
So why the **** won’t they do something of value and stop ******* with peoples lives.

Life is a waste of time and every entitled person made it so.
Why the hell did life succumb to everyone's egos and greed?
Why the hell are people devolving?
Why the hell are you people THIS ******* DAFT!?
I'm so sick and tired of this "game" and everyone's pettiness that I'm left wanting to ***** profusely.
What the **** happened to leaving people alone if they didn't do a single ******* thing to you.
And if you did Why the hell are those people more reasonable?
Why the hell is life an imbecillic mess of brain dead nymphos making my ******* brain lobes burst from their stupidity?
IM THE ONE WHOS ******* BRAIN DEAD BECAUSE YOU PEOPLE ARE SO ******* ******* AND NOW IM ******* ****** THAT I CANT CALL YOU DESPICABLE SACKS OF DAFT FLESH ANYTHING WORSE.
GO. TO. *******. HELL.
oh yeah and on the way there I hope you go through exactly what you all did to me plus brutal torture but faster🤗🖕

Living a life of torment.
This kind of life makes me sick.
I guess I’ve been through too much because I still don’t understand how people turn out like this.
People filled with hate, and I can never escape.
Will I ever get of this page?
The amount of greed and lies are making this seem like a maze.
So why do people follow their ego?
It only makes you blinded by evil.
What happened to intution?
I don’t know what’s going on this feels like a death mission.
So what will happen at the intermission?
Will it be my demise? Because I know I’ve never had enough time.
But I feel like I’ll never be me again because my mind heart and soul are somewhere lost in this life.

The days pass by and it seems like it’s turning to a brighter hue.
Maybe now things will get less misconstrued.
I guess I’m getting more of an idea of what to do, and it seems like I’m beginning to find my shoes.
So now all I can do is pick myself up and continue.
But I feel like a mess, and never really feel the heart beating in my chest.
Is there hope to find meaning and be done with the stress?
So I guess time will tell me what to do next.

With my being constantly rearranging, can I find it in me to make my life change?
I know In life nothing is ever as it seems, but can I please just hide in my dreams?
Because my life for too long has been falling apart at the seams.
I’m losing love and I don’t know if I’ll ever find anything I can keep.
So as I try to overcome the torment.
I’ll hope that soon all of this lies dormant.

Trying to cope with my less than mediocre life.
When will things take a change for the better?
I know i said i'd avoid the knife.
But in a sea of words, i'm merely just a letter.
My existence is anything but a happy one.
I long to just feel good for a change.
But it feels as though everyone's done.
How can i be so alone, when there are so many who claim to care?
Yeah, you might have been the one.
And now i feel as though my being might as well be thin air.
Ignored by most.
Death feels so close.
I guess having a good life, friends, and a love, no i was never meant to have any of those.

Fragments of my mind, shattered and scattered in the void.
What’s going on? Do I even have a choice?
I don’t know where am going, and I’ve lost my voice.
I feel misused like an old and abandoned toy.
Is there hope to get up? I don’t know if there’s stable ground.
My life has been collapsing and I can’t get used to the sound.
So what if I could get up, and put myself back together?
Do you think I would have more than these carefully typed out letters?
I don’t know which road to take, but somehow something always goes wrong.
I guess I just need to learn to find comfort in the melodies of the songs.

When everything seems to be crashing down.
And your soul is just being dragged around.
Can what’s lost ever be found?
I know there’s no way in hell I could ever get used to the sound.
So what do I do to pick myself up off the ground?

My eyes are starting to fill up with hate.
With the fact that these bends are showing through my merciless fate.
I just wish I could find a way to escape.
Find some meaning and not be trapped in this place.

So until I’ve finally reached my end.
Through pills or blades or some unspeakable end.
I’ll try to find some good in the world.
Cause there’s no hope for something good to ever unfurl.
I’m just a damaged lost and broken girl.
Who always thought there was more beauty in the world.

Always dealing with the voices in my head, wondering when they'll give it a rest.
They took all the good locked away in my chest.
And make me think things that i should digress.
So what's going to get unveiled in this mess i call life?
It seems i've been feeling more or less strife.
I just want to leave with my eyes set on the stars.
But i don't have as much heart so i don't know if i'll get very far.
I guess i should try harder as i hope for a happier ending.
I tried but things got worse, so what was the use in attempting mending?
So as i try to hold onto the hope i have left,
I'll try my best not to end up recessed.

My life is a mess.
Is it just mine?
Or are there others suffering like me?
**** this petty *******.
I guess it doesn’t matter what I see.
It’s something I have a hard time trying to conceive.
Why does it always have to be about me?
I’m sure I’m not the only way who mourns this way with no will to play.
So why is life like a game?
I’m slowly going insane.
And I’m too weak to fathom the coming days.
So why can’t I escape?
I guess it’s where the masquerade and loop want me to stay.
**** why can’t things just work out.
Life isn’t a joke, there’s a reason for hope.
I guess it’s only a matter of time till I choke.
I just wish there were another way to make people see, that life could be better for everyone, and if I’m lucky maybe even me.

Will i ever find another sound in the airwaves?
This petty tragedy is driving me insane.
And i'm left wondering if there's hope for another day.
Is there another way?
Or will i be kept more so in a sociopathic state?
Most of the time i'd rather be dreaming than awake.
Because people come and go, and no one ever stays.
But what feelings are locked away deep inside?
It keeps getting stolen so i guess i should just hide.
I feel like i'll always be thinking about my demise.
Because nothing will bring my true self back, not even sunlight.
So why was i almost always unaware about the fight?
I'm so blinded by all of this that it seems like there are only enemies in sight.
So as i try to brush off the ashes of this mess.
I'll try to be happy and do away with the stress.
If only i could regain what was once locked inside my chest.
Maybe then i could find someone and be done with all of the tests.

There’s such hate in your words.
Tell me, how did you really feel?
I’m lost in this mess, just trying to regain the lost feelings I kept locked in my chest.
Now I’m left feeling numb.
To the darkness will I overcome?
I guess time will tell.
As I try to get out of this personal hell.

My misconstrued fate left me with nothing.
Believe me when I say that when it came to the truth I was never bluffing.
They used to have so much power over me, and they’re always ******* me over.
Maybe that’s why I never had a chance.
And in the past anything that came to mind was spoken.
I’d rather be me and the way I was when I was broken.
I’m still damaged beyond repair but in a different sense.
Things are so distorted now, trust me it’s immense.
So many people weaseled their way in.
And now I’m left with my own sins.
Maybe it’s not much but I regret it all completely.
Is it fear I’m holding? Or did they really make me worse than them because I’m still breathing?
I can’t accept myself or any of this mindless nonsense.
Why do the get a thrill out of the torment?
I don’t get how people end up like this unless it’s provoked.
I just hope things start to get better because I don’t know what’s left of my hope.

Laying out the pieces like some morbid puzzle,
I have nothing left I may as well be wearing a muzzle.
What is the point of going through all this trouble?
It’s a petty masquerade and I’m in the middle of the war.
Living life is becoming such a chore.
There was never a point to tainting someone’s mind body and soul, let alone their life.
So as I sit here trying to get rid of all of this strife, I’ll continue contemplating my miserable life.

Heat waves, summer nights.
Another day keeping my wrists away from the knife.
Will the good ever suffice?
There's too much hate and belligerence, I need a new life.
So as I ponder about what I thought life used to be, I'll hope I don't end up in a sea of misery.

Why does my mind always deceive me?
It seems I’m always stuck grieving.
Is it from the loss of life or the loss of love?
I’m sorry I couldn’t be enough.
Always set up to fail.
The rain is turning into hail.
And the smoke is turning stale.
I know I shut the door for good this time.
And you’ve probably had it with all of these rhymes.
I just wish we could have had more time.
But my mind kept telling me it was all a lie.
I just hope your days stay sunny and bright.
Even if I couldn’t be your light.
Maybe one day I’ll see you in my dreams.
And it could be everything we wanted it to be.
But until then I’ll try not to drown in my misery.
And maybe try to enjoy the scenery.
As I try to be all the things I always knew I needed to be.

Taking a trip down memory lane.
This all feels like some sick game.
And even i'm one to blame.
For falling through the cracks, i guess everyone's more or less the same.

I've been wishing on stars for a better start.
Hoping i won't fall apart.
How do i get back the love in my heart?
I'm left with damaged lungs and i'm not very smart.

So as i think about all of my mistakes,
Wishing i could fix them and change my fate.
I'm realizing that i'm a few years too late.
So i'll try to have more than false hope, maybe then they'll let me past the gate.

Am I as alone as the moon?
I guess I don’t make the seas sail smoothly so there might be more room for the gloom to consume.
Why do I even try?
It’s clear that I should just drown in the tides.
So why is life such a never ending battle.
Me against the masses. And I know to no one I’ll never matter.
So why is my being so scattered?
Maybe then I’d be more whole.
But it would only be a matter of time until death took its toll.
So what’s with the people who pretend to care?
I don’t need anything fake, it just clouds the air.
Meaningless encounters might be my fate.
I guess I’ll just never escape all of my naive mistakes.

As the moon waxes and wanes, I come to find that I’m sanely going insane.

As the storm sets in it reminds me of the end.
I don’t know where I’m headed but there’s no hope to mend.
I don’t know how, but life feels pretend.
I’m sick of their motions, why does it happen time and time again?

Searching inside for something i can't find.
Do i even have a heart inside?
How can someone go from feeling so much to so little?
Can you meet me somewhere in the middle?
I know i'll never be good enough to find someone to love.
So i'll keep inside the sounds of the mourning dove.
Why is it always pain and loneliness that follows me?
At least most times i still have my sanity.
So i'll keep my hopes folded up in my pocket.
And try not to lose the memories in my locket.
Maybe one day the light will shine through.
And i can muster up the courage to hold my head up and continue.