My thoughts are distorted.
This feels so contorted.
How do I break free?
I still can’t even see.
Why can’t I be free?
I think if I were it would regain my sanity.
But there’s seldom hope for me.
And I can’t figure out the scenes.
It’s like a bad movie reel.
And I can’t even heal.
None of this feels real.
And it’s like I’m trapped under a seal.
Why can’t I get out?
There’s way too much doubt.
This is like a personal hell.
And I’m trapped in this shell.
I know I said I’d try not to dwell.
But I guess it was their plan to make sure I fell.

No sense in the hate.
No sense in this neverending game.
It's all lies, and it's parasitically insane.
What's the point in all of these cover ups?
There was never a reason, only their bluffs.
Isn't it clear that i've always had enough?
Of all you people's petty chaos, and my need to ******* erupt.
If this is life then you can count me out.
Because this petty belligerent tragedy, has more than worn me out.
So as you all keep the lies going with no regard to anyone at all,
I'll hope this ******* sequence crashes, burns and falls.

Nothing left but a scattered mind and broken soul.
I always hoped that my heart wouldn’t turn back into stone.
I just need to get away and find someplace to call home.
I know I need you but I might have to go.
I try and try but I feel like I need to end it all.
I don’t want to hurt you but I’m losing my grip and beginning to fall.
They always said that the world is a cruel place.
I find myself waiting to see the smile on your face.
So what’s left in the unraveling chapter of my life?
I guess a noose is taking place of the knife.
But that doesn’t stop me from wanting you in what’s left of my life.
With these scattered thoughts it’s hard to tell what to do, I’m starting to lose sight.
I feel like I’m undeserving, does anyone have a clear view?
I do what I can but I can never get used to these shoes.
So as I count the days till I see you next,
I’ll hope that soon I’ll feel my heart beating in my chest.

The pieces of me have fallen away.
Every memory or moment in time has changed to someone else’s pace.
So why is everything black and grey?
I’m trapped in their sequence and I’m not sure if there’s another way.
So as I try to think back on the good there once was, I’ll remember that it was enough.
I’m sick of their games and calling their bluffs.
But if I could change things there would be more peace and less scuffs.

Failing.
Falling.
Trying to get back up.
I can't stop falling.
Where am i headed?
I can't seem to stop failing.
At everything i do.
Is it because i miss you?
I guess i'll never know.
So i'll carry our memories in my heart as i try my best to let go.

This web of lies holds nothing of value.
When all of this started I had no clue that anything could ever get this misconstrued.
Now if I want to live I have to continue on the serpents path.
Dodging my untimely death, hoping this breath won’t be my last.
So as I hope this hoax doesn’t get more contorted, I should focus on leaving but they’ll never stop the distortion.
All my existence they’ve had me cornered.
Go to ******* hell just because you try to keep it civil doesn’t mean any of this has any order.

The days are starting to melt together.
I keep wondering when things will get better.
The masquerade keeps me at the bottom.
What do I do, I just wish I could solve all these problems.
None of this makes any sense to me.
And I’m just trying to find better scenery.
So how do I break free from their grasp?
Will I ever get a taste of happiness that lasts?
I guess I need to learn how to get stronger.
Because things keep getting worse, and I don’t think I can take it any longer..

Why am I still breathing?
I know it was me who was always leaving.
I never meant to break you down.
Please just get up off of the ground.
You always deserved better than me.
It was only you who couldn’t see.
Maybe you were never meant to be the key.
If I could hope for anything it’s for you to be happy.
I spilled my guts out to you hoping you’d understand.
But things never work out the way you want, and I just wanted to hold your hand.
You were my sweet escape, especially with that smile on your face.
And I’m left here wishing we had a different fate.

I don’t know where I am but I feel like I’m living in hell.
I don’t know what to do because nothing ever really works out.
If only I didn’t have so many doubts in myself.
Maybe then I wouldn’t always dwell.
I can’t tell if I’m more than just a shell.
But the things I see makes my life feel like I’m cursed.
I wish I could find truth so things could work.
Instead I’m left dragging my body through the dirt.
Trying to run away from the fear and the hurt.
I just wish I had my feelings and pain, feeling like who I am keeps me from going insane.
Am I stuck here? Or is there a way out?
I don’t know what I’m doing but there’s so much doubt.

I guess the tides are changing cause I can no longer shed tears.
And I’m also finding new fears in the fact that my death is almost here.
So where am I headed down this rocky *****?
Things are rearranging and I’m losing hope.
Maybe I’ll never find someone to hold close.
I guess I should have long ago succumbed to the rope.

I can’t decipher my life.
No wonder nothing ever seems right.
Maybe I should just leave into the night.
But I’m losing my sights.
And I can’t stop thinking about the knife.
So tell me, what has come out of this fight?

Stumbling past all of life's bends.
I don't know where i'm headed i don't know if i've begun to mend.
Sometimes you need to create your own weather.
And maybe sometimes it's best to bring a sweater.
But no matter what gets thrown onto your path.
You have in you some potential to last.
So fight like hell to get out of their grasp.
And try not to make this breath your last.

I want to pull the trigger.
These problems seem to linger.
I can’t just live my whole life in the shadows, always fighting a losing battle.
I guess everyone’s more sick of me than I am of them.
But I still can’t stop thinking of how I want all of this to end.
They never let me break free from their grasp.
I guess that’s why happiness never lasts.
So as I keep pulling through to my merciless demise,
I’ll keep wondering why I wanted more time.

Is the door shut for good again?
I really hope we can make it past this bend.
But it seems like you may have severed our ties.
Everything is turning back into stormy skies.
I don’t really wanna hide.
But it’s all I can do if you won’t let me stay by your side.
Trying to escape the crashing tide.
I just wish you were mine.
But something tells me if there’s even a chance it’ll be harder this time.
I’ll just hope that if this is the end we both turn out fine.

My feelings are fleeting, but that doesn’t stop me from wanting to drown in them.
Happiness is deceiving because everyone’s always leaving, so what’s left of the plot?
I’m like a rollercoaster but I’m mostly distraught.
The thieves made their way into my being so now I’m just a shell of who I was before.
Maybe that’s why everyone always closes the door.
Maybe if I could learn to love myself I’d end up having more.
But this life of mine is a hoax, I feel like nothing but a joke.
If only I had something other than false hope.
Maybe then I wouldn’t want to succumb to the rope.

Walking down this twisted path with no sunshine up ahead.
I broke my spine when you were mine, but now the dread is such a threat.
If only I could see clearly and live life just for me.
I don’t know what I’ll find but I’m drifting farther from my mind.
So as the sun shines bright to fight away your fears,and the moon illuminates to give you company. I guess even if I get myself back I’ll still be a wilted flower. Trying to be strong. Trying to get things right. And trying to win this fight, only to be the person I wish I could become.

And i don't really think about you anymore.
That's what scares me.
How could someone be your whole universe, only to start to disappear from your mind?
Yeah i guess maybe i haven't seen you in a few years.
But when something burns as bright as our love once did, you can't help but want it to last forever.
If only i could rewind to our best moments.
You were my world, and i find myself wanting to relive our time together.
Yeah i guess if i was poetic i would say something like, every time i was in your presence i couldn't help but want more.
Or your smile never failed to brighten my darkest days.
Maybe even that your kiss was the closest i've ever been to paradise.
But i can't help the fact that i'll never gaze into your deep brown eyes, and know that i'm finally home.
No.
That's the problem with heartache.
Or what's left of it.
You find yourself picking the scabs because it was pure ecstasy.
Only to find yourself slowly bleeding out, and wishing things could somehow go back to what i once thought of as my forever.
And now i'm sitting here wondering if you'll escape my mind for good.
Just know, that you will never leave my heart.

Falling back through all of my mistakes.
And I bet you guessed I feel mostly hate.
No hope to go on.
So why am I trying?
Never got better, just masked the idea of dying.
Hell knows I won’t be missed when my time comes.
Why can’t I just appreciate the rising sun?
So as I keep trying to pick myself up,
I’ll try to forget about the fact that I’ll never be enough.

Four years later and all I'm left with is a broken smile, lonely eyes, and shattered dreams.
Yeah it's been a while since I've felt your touch.
Since I've gazed into your warm eyes.
But it's my reality, and all I can do is try to make the best of it.
Yeah, sometimes they touch my heart.
But in reality they don't want it.
And I'm left comparing every one of them to you.
Does that make me a bad person?
Four years later and I'm still mesmerized by our fantastical paradise.
Deep down I know I'm undeserving of a love that burns as deep as ours once did.
But that doesn't stop me from searching.
Maybe one day I'll be worth it.
Until then I'll try not to over self medicate to try to feel something more than pain and regret.
But that's my life.
Four years later, and I'm broken and alone.
Just searching for someone or somewhere to call home.

Trapped in this body.
Will I ever be set free?
What happened to my soul?
It’s exactly what I need.
Life is turning to a darker hue.
What is going on? I’m getting sick of this debut.
So as I try to figure out what to do, I’ll try to keep the same shoes, and hope that things get less misconstrued.

Keep getting dragged down into the abyss.
I know my time is coming and i know i won't be missed.
How the **** did i end up in the middle of all of this?
This is all something of remiss.

So how do i find a better road to take?
No matter where i go i can't find an escape.
People trying to get back in but i closed the gate.
I want to trust someone, anyone.. But i feel like it's too late.
Is there anywhere left to go? Or is this just my fate?
I wish i could start over with a clean blank slate.

So as i try not to get consumed in this petty tragedy,
I'll accept that there never was and maybe never will be a key.
Maybe now i can try to regain my sanity,
As i try my best to be free.

When your life constantly knocks you down,
It’s hard to wear anything other than a frown.
I know I’m down, but am I out?
My whole being is filled with doubt.
I find myself slipping into the depths of rock bottom.
Will I be able to make it till autumn?
Something tells me that it doesn’t matter.
And every part of my mind is scattered.
So I guess all I can do is try to get out of this pit.
And try to make it another day but I know I won’t be missed.

So I guess every part of me is covered up.
Why is this still going on? Isn’t it clear I’ve had too much?
Oh right you don’t want “all of the work to be for nothing”.
But trust me I was never bluffing.
Everyone so blindly follows their lies.
Manipulating everything, always kept in some sort of disguise.
And I’m trapped in this mess cause whoever I am is lost.
**** the misconstrued distortion, I see that it’s flawed.
How does the masquerade have an army?
I’m trapped with no way out.
And everyone is devolving.
If you were truly yourselves you wouldn’t succumb to tormenting others.
**** it I guess I can’t find a true friend, nevermind a lover.

Life is too petty, everything has no value.
Where's the meaning? Nothing makes sense.
Life would be better if all of these ******* just dropped dead.

Lies are never ending.
No one is mending.
This life is a belligerent hoax.
I wish this was just some sick shady joke.
This torment made me grow colder.
Its no wonder I feel old in these shoes.
Things are so misconstrued that there isn't really any clear view.
So whats left in the distortion?
I guess nothing but despicably sick torment and contortion.

Life holds no value. Everyone's corrupt.
There will never be meaning because it's just everyone's misconstrued bluffs.
So why is life just a petty parasitic game?
I don't care anymore, why don't we all just get slain?

How petty can life get until everyone’s a ******* disgrace?
All you people care about is power while lying with **** eating grins on your face.
Yes I know I’m at fault, but ruining the quality of life isn’t the same as taking it with a grain of salt.
I’m so bitter that I regret ever trying to right my wrongs.
So **** it all no one will ever belong unless they succumb to the masses of only doing wrong.

Forever stuck in the crossfire of meaningless ******* lies.
It never ends so why the **** do you keep yourselves in misconstrued disguises.
I can’t run, I can’t hide.
I don’t care if my lifeless body gets washed up in the tide.
I can’t end your petty ******* lives.
So go to ******* hell and let me carve my demise.

They’re all so thrilled.
I hope they find nothing but hate for them still.
This town is like a cult.
And somehow everything is my fault.
If I could I’d rearrange their organs.
But I’m helpless so all of this gets worse or stays the same so it’s somehow dormant.
I hope they get the karma for doing wrong unto those who didn’t see it coming.
But somehow they’re all so happy and loving.
This makes me ******* sick.
If I could I’d give them a bunch of hits.
But this life is in remiss.
I got ****** into the middle of this.
I want to gauge out their eyes.
Tear out their organs and see what’s under their disguise.
But it’s not in me to win.
So **** them all, life is just a series of their sins.

Surrounded by ignorance everywhere i go.
Its your minds you've wasted, and there's nothing but foes.
I don't care where this path goes I just want my life to end.
Just be done with your pettiness, because its you people who caused my life to end.

Why is life becoming so vain?
The belligerence is driving me insane.
I'm sick and tired of you people and you games.
There are other ways but you people are to entitled in your ways.
You don't have control over other people's lives.
But you do it anyway and lead them to the knife.
I desperately need to end my life.
Because you people are so petty that nothing will ever be alright.

No one is pure.
Life has no worth.
People are too conniving and petty to ever be free.

At my last end.
The lies never cease, everything's pretend.
Why did I ever care about meaning or friends?
It's clear life is belligerent and there was never hope to mend.
So in these last few moments I hope there won't be too much pain.
But I've had it with you peoples ignorance and your will to driving me completely insane.

Slowly going from sociopathy to being ruthless.
It doesn't matter to you people what the truth is.
All of these games are despicable stupid.
But you people lie so much that it's just made up to be true confusion.

Too much hate, how am I still sane?
I’m sick of these sick ***** games.
I just want to get off of this hell bound page.
I want to chain you down and mutilate you for the pain of my existence.
Get a sledgehammer to end your lives because I’m nothing but your fuckery’s witness.
How the hell am I still in the middle of all of this *******?
Leave me the **** alone.
It’s clear I can’t take this.

Everyone's deceiving.
What's the point to the chaos it's ignorant sadists who won't let me focus on leaving.
Why is this all so played out?
I can't even keep one consciousness in tact and there are too many doubts.
If there were any way I could change things and get rid of their contorted web of lies, maybe there wouldn't be so many people being forced to add to their disguise.
But all they want is power and control.
How many lives will go to waste before hell takes it's toll?
And now I'm stuck here trapped without my own soul, it's just the versions they keep in place until their plan unfolds.
So **** them all. Will they ever leave me the **** alone?
My life has always been trampled on by parasitic bigots with no mercy on anyone. They just keep their illusion going so no truth will ever unfold.

Senseless hate. Why aren’t people more sane?
I’m sick of these petty games, isn’t there another way?
Things get worse by the day. But I don’t feel pain.
The army of renegades never fails to disappoint.
I’m sick of being you peoples lifeless toy.

Too many disorders, why is everyone so corrupt?
There's no sense in this mess.
Hasn't everyone had enough?
You people are parasites who feed off of the weak.
I don't know what there is to do, but life is sadistically and unfortunately bleak.

Can’t find comfort in my sleep,
None of these people deserve any peace.
Stop invading my miserable life,
Your wrongdoings want me to hold your necks to the knife.
I don’t know why I’m always the target.
You “switch your game up” and deny what you did.
Stop hiding behind your versions of me.
This is petty ******* that no one needs.
Who you see me as isn’t who I am.
You ****** me up but your lies and corruption were belligerently planned.
So what is the point to any of this?
Leave me the **** alone cause I’ve lived my whole life in remiss.

What’s the point of sadistic suffering?
It’s lies that you’ve all been muttering.
You claim to be elite, it’s something I can’t conceive.
Who gets joy out of making the miserable grieve?
So as you continue to spin your web of unjust chaos, I’ll start to wonder about how much I’ve lost.
Just because you people do whatever it is to get what you want at all costs.
This is a despicable mess and what you people do is so undeniably wrong that I’d **** you to hell for the hellhole for me you’ve dug.

You people live for petty sadism.
While there is no meaning in what you people preach,
You all live your lives in deceit.
Making the weak plea for things that there would never be a need.
So while you people live on your hell bent greed,
I'll hope this despicable mess falls apart at you people's feet.
Because all of this petty torment is ruining life at the seams.
And none of you people care because all you all care about is your egos, power and irrelevant petty needs.

Petty ignorance.
Belligerent hypocrisy.
I'm losing my ******* sanity.
Mentally drained.
And sick of this life.
How long before my skin feels the blade of the knife?
You're an army of despicably tarnished renegades.
Tell me why it has to be this way?
Life holds no meaning.
There's no value anyone holds.
How long before your daft ******* plans are going to cease being unfold?
It's a web of lies.
With your ****** up disguise.
I hope you people reach a mortifying end this time.

My eyes are filled with hate.
******* all for trapping me I hope you all reach your end and can’t escape.
I also hope you all suffer worse.
You all rob everyone of everything and expect it not to hurt.
So as I try to ignore this petty mess.
I hope you’re all left with regrets and more ******* common sense.
Just ******* let me off myself.
Because you all tarnished everything good and I can do nothing but dwell in this merciless shell.

Why did i wish for more time?
There is nothing of beauty i could ever witness shine.
Life is nothing but a hoax of a charade.
Everyone treats life like a petty senseless superiority complex game.
So why the hell am i trapped in this mess entangled with lies?
I just hope that there is some mercy in my demise, because you sadists keep this mess going for years at a time.
And there was never a point, you all just showed me that life is the ugliest thing to encounter or coincide.

Life is lacking, and not in time.
It's despicable eyes telling senseless lies.
If there were a way i'd sever all ties.
But there's not much hope when it's all about your own demise.
So what was the point of coming back time and time again?
It's the entitled, power tripping minds ruining the same lives over again.
Why is it always their parasitic disease? Spreading hate at all costs, even when you try to leave.
Can i ever get away from this senseless charade?
******* all to hell, this isn't life. It's your petty, senseless and parasitic game.

Life is eternal ******* suffering.
No one gives a single ******* ******* about anything or anyone other their their own pompous selves.
Everyone's vain.
Everyone's a narcissist.
Everyone's crude.
My mind went too dark to handle.
And every entitled person caused me to be demented in their presence.
There's no value life could ever hold.
Everything went cold.
I'd rather turn to ******* stone than live in these despicably vile bones.
So tell me why my life is in you peoples control?
No life.
No hope.
No home.
Want to rip your flesh to shreds and break all of you're wastes of fleshes bones.
So why the hell can't life be what's it's supposed to be?
It's run by everyone who doesn't care to see.
So until I reach my final breath or melt away into the dust, I'll just wonder why you people are so ******* despicable.
Because none of you will ever have enough.

**** your petty lives and everything you all stand for.
Life is nothing but deception, and making life a chore.
But if life let the tides change, it would be your faces that I'd rearrange.
So **** this place and every face I've known.
You people think you're doing me a favor by listening to what you all caused. But you all deserve the saw.
So in these passing days ill try to let go.
But if I had it my way, there would be seldom mercy to show.

Life is a hoax.
You people are a joke.
Stop dictating my life and hiding behind your disguise.
I don't care whats to come, because life is valueless and there's no beauty in the rising sun.
I don't care who's won.
Life has nothing but deceptive narcissists ******* all im done.

Everything is senseless.
Why is there so much room for hate?
Life seems more or less pretentious, how do you escape?
With this chaotic web of lies unraveling my predetermined and merciless demise, it seems like there was never any room for the sun to shine.
So in my final days, I’ll keep in mind it was impossible to turn the page.
Because all these corrupted sadists love driving people insane, so there’s never any other way, just what they decide to be your fate.
no matter what’s at stake, it’s just hate feeding hate, and this petty ****** up charade of a game.
So as I hope you all get what you gave,  in your despicable ways, ill wish I lived my life any other way.
As I hope I never get stuck in the tides of what you people decided was “the way”.

When all that's left is belligerent lies and deceit,
It's no wonder all anyone's left with is their slimy disgusting feet.
There's no hope in whatever you people call life.
It's ignorance and narcissism and taking others lives.
So what was superior in what you were all involved in?
It's nothing but bigotry and all of your despicably switched around sins.