You came into my life and I never gave it a second thought.
Little did I know you were everything I sought.
Unraveling the void that was swallowing my heart.
I never wanted to tear us apart.
But now it seems like fate brought us a second chance.
I almost forgot how it felt when you made my heart dance.
But something dark continues to corrupt my being.
It’s not something I can imagine anyone else seeing.
So as we continue to walk together down this staggering road,
I’ll just hope my heart doesn’t turn back into stone.

I don’t know where I’m headed but I’m tired of this view.
It’s like I’m surrounded by mostly enemies and the truth always stays misconstrued.
Why is my life some code to decipher?
If only I could dodge the thieves and the liars.
So as I hope things don’t once again become dire while trying not to think about my time that I’m worried might expire,
I’ll hope that there’s not too much that I’ll require to get out of this mess and regain the feelings I held dear when life was more or less clear.
I guess it doesn’t hurt anymore that no one is near.

I never wanted anyone's pity.
Maybe i was stuck in a trance for most of my life.
And maybe that's why i can't bear to take my own life.
But something in me wants to end it all.
Is it just me, or has it taken far too long for me to fall?
I don't know where i'm going and i can't take this anymore.
I'm growing too weak from carrying all this weight, how long before i get sore?
It's like i have a piece of almost everyone i've known.
And i guess it's time to reap what i've sewn.
But something tells me no one deserves a life like this.
I don't care anymore, i know i won't be missed.
So why can't i just let the abyss consume me?
I guess i just have to be strong and keep moving.
But where the hell is there left to go?
It can't be just me who hates being alone.
So i guess i'll have to muster up the courage to tie the noose around my throat.

Too many cracks in my mind and I can’t always tell whose hiding inside.
How can I tell who’s wearing a disguise, or contorting my being to someone I can’t really recognize?
I don’t understand why they have such a strong hold, but as things unfold I can see that they’re changing me too much as well as growing cold.
Why is it like an army against me?
They cover up the truth because they don’t like their crude reality.
So why do they put the blame on others?
It’s not an easy thing to overcome and it can leave you feeling smothered.
So as I try to figure out what to do next,
I’ll try to be me again and feel something mine in my chest.
Instead of all the given feelings they leave me with, this isn’t the way life should be lived I just wish they would get out of my head.

My heart and soul have been drawn out of my body.
I guess I need a new hobby.
My bones are withering away.
But I have this feeling that you won’t stay.
Everyone keeps leaving and locking the gate.
How do I always find myself feeling okay?
I hate just surviving. This isn’t living.
I always find that I’m far too forgiving.
So who am I now In this deceiving sequence?
Everyone knows that the concept of love has always been my weakness.
How the **** am I supposed to defeat this?
I have a feeling that whatever happens I won’t be missed.
What happened to all the time I spent trying to grow?
At least I’m not feeling only sorrow.
But now I feel nothing at all.
I guess my stumble turned into a crawl.

How do you get yourself back when it seems that you've become everything you hate?
There's not much good left, and it seems that it's almost impossible to escape.
I don't want to have to succumb to the blade.
But when things only get worse, you can't help but want to turn the page.
So why do things always seem to stay the same?
The colours are melting together into a darker shade.
I guess i can say it's all the doing of the masquerade.
It started as a petty game, but now it's driving me insane.
Why did they have to form an alliance?
It's growing and i can't overcome all of the liars.
It's because of them that my time has started to expire.
So i guess i'll stay true to try to get out of the crossfire, and hope that this mess doesn't turn into anything more dire.

I guess I seem selfish but life isn’t a game.
You don’t **** away the good and drive people insane.
So as I hope everyone stops this ******* sequence, I’ll wonder how you all turned into something so awful it’s not even evil.
There’s no logic, or any common sense.
All you people do is leave people in a wreck.
So as I helplessly crawl past hoping this breath isn’t my last, I’ll hope you all have an awakening no matter how crude because it’s me against the mass.

Second curse.
What life?
It's been years on the mend and nothing is alright.
There's nowhere to go and I'm fading into the plot.
This is more than a broken home, and nothing will make me sleep soundly at night.
So did the countless years suffering mean nothing?
You all put people through so much hell, trust me I was never bluffing.
There's nowhere to go and no hope for a better ending.
The corruption is a curse, there will never be any mending or any happy ending.
So while I wander through the torment, I'll hope things get better or at least lie dormant.
But there's little hope in this petty hand.
I'm standing alone because I'm sick of these plans.

Nearing the final page, but I know I don’t want it to be the end of my days.
Why can’t I find it in me to breathe again?
Maybe I’m trapped in a cycle of too much torment.
If only I could break free and somehow all of this could lie dormant.
But my existence is a hoax, and I’m in the middle of the crossfire.
It makes me wonder how long these people have wanted my time to expire.
So while I try to untangle the mess in my mind, I’ll try to make the best of this minuscule amount of time.
Maybe in the meantime I can appreciate the sunshine.
But something tells me I’ll continue to suffer until I reach my intolerable demise.

As things keep unfolding I’m not liking my fate.
Why can’t all of this just be a mistake?
I’m struggling to find the beauty in life.
Only holding onto negativity and strife.
What would it take to gain what I lack?
I’m no longer myself and it’s everything that I lack.
What is it like to love yourself whole?
Enemies everywhere and I’m stuck paying the toll.
I used to ache to love the way I needed to be loved.
Now I’m emotionless and mostly numb.
**** what I would give to get myself back.
But hell knows that’s no easy task.
So as I try to be the best version of me,
I’ll try to focus less on the pettiness happening all around me.

You people's bigoted sadism is pathetic.
I'm left a wreck from the pettiness you play.
**** all of these parasites and their senseless games.

When you can’t take the sting of the blade, and the orchestrated mess gets worse and doesn’t change, how do you turn the page?
If I could breathe my last breath of air, without a care of what else is in this world, would there be hope to let the good in life unfurl?
I can’t see anything good, right or just.
Just want to end this mess of my life because with them it’s all a fuss.
When will it end?
I know I’ll never mend.
But until I breathe a breath of fresher air, I’ll just keep hiding because life isn’t just unfair.
It’s me against the mass and it’s all an untimely dare.

Maybe love was never meant for us.
If you can’t love someone’s flaws, you could never love them entirely.
And maybe that’s what ****** me up so much.
Maybe I was hoping that you could start to love me whole.
Was it ever love?
I was consumed by you and wanted to pour my feelings into your heart.
I always knew that time would tear us apart.
And maybe that’s why I’m still in the dark.

My heart is turning black.
My life feels like I’ve always been under attack.
How do I regain the things I lost that I lack?
I don’t have all the answers but I know some of the facts.
When life starts getting dark where do you find a light?
My dreams sailed away, and who I was before is out of sight.
Will I be able to make it through another night?
I just hope I have it in me to turn around my life.

When it feels like you're fading away.
And no one ever stays.
How are you supposed to spend your days?
When all you wanna do is feel.
But maybe you should spend your time trying to heal.
How do you find something real?
When you think you're worthless,
And your life seems to be in remiss.
Should you just write off everything to be dismissed?
When all you wanna do is get up and get out,
But you're filled with too much doubt.
How do you find a way out?
No one ever has all the answers.
But life shapes you into the person you are and who you will become.
So have hope and try to live the life you've been daydreaming about.

They say life is unfair. It’s like I have some deathwish love affair. Why can’t I breathe some fresher air? I don’t know why but I’m becoming more and less scared. But I have nowhere left to go, I can’t even be myself. So let me drown in this bottle of doubt.

Its a deceiving plot.
So why am I always distraught?
It’s always ignorance that’s bought.
It’s the truth that I’ve always sought.
And now I can’t tell how much time’s on the clock.
So where do I go in this melancholic ocean?
I don’t know where I am and I’m losing devotion.
It seems like lately everything’s been so scattered.
And I’ve been having trouble climbing the latter.
Every time I stand up I get pushed into a pit.
And I don’t really have any place to sit.

Murky hues, there is no truth.
Why is it only deception against my recollection?
Why do you cover it up, when it’s clear that this is all so out of touch.
It’s so hard to call your bluffs, because you people can’t get enough.
There is no satisfaction of being a sadist.
It’s no wonder I can’t take this.
What happened to any sort of meaning?
You people are just selfish, power driven, greedy thieves.
It’s something I’ll never be able to conceive.
Because no matter if I leave, the only way this will end is my death after you’re all done tearing my life apart at the seams.

A life of deceit,
What a condescending feat.
I’m left crippled, deaf and blind.
Where does anyone have left to hide?
I found my way out of their disguise.
But now I’m running out of time.
I’m still searching for the real version of me.
But I’m lost in this mess and it’s hard to see.
So what’s left of their plan?
They’re becoming so predictable so I guess I know where I stand.
Cold and alone and lost at sea.
Whoever I was, they corrupted and buried, and thrown away the key.
So am I really being myself?
Their trick is so planned out and I feel mostly doubt.
why is the world so cruel?
I’ve burned myself out, I have no more fuel.
So in what feels like the end for me,
I’ll try to keep a smile on and focus on keeping my sanity.

Well I’m trapped in this body without anything mine as what I lack.
When your mind is disguised and you can’t keep track of time, how do you be yourself again and reclaim your being that was already on the mend?
I don’t understand this sadistic charade.
I don’t understand why it’s all of them and their sick games.
It’s me vs them waiting to get slain.
I just wish I could get away and turn the page. But with my life it’s only a matter of time until the snaked their way back in to deceptively end my fate.

Hated.
So jaded.
Can’t evade it.
I wish I could escape.
But my life is a labyrinth of a maze.
It was only a matter of time till I wasn’t okay.
What’s with these games?
Deception.
No direction.
Forced suppression.
Misconstrued perceptions.
I’m lost and I don’t think I’ll ever be found.
I know I’ll never get used to the sound.
Tear off my limbs and pin me to the ground.
I’m trapped in a cage and I can’t get used to the sound.

Defeated.
Don’t want to stop the bleeding.
Because they cover up the truth so no one conceives it.
I need to focus on leaving.
Because this life is only deceiving.
I don’t want to keep breathing.
So hand me the blade so I can stop grieving.

Broken spirit broken eyes.
What happens when you look into my eyes?
It’s sadness underneath their disguise.
And the only thing that’s left is my demise.

Drowning in my mind and I want to break free.
I can’t remember much of a time where my life wasn’t falling apart at the seams.
Why can’t all of this just be all a bad dream?
I have nothing in me to want to be able to breathe.
So I guess I’ll keep in mind that nothing is ever as it seems.
But I know there’s nothing in my life that I’ll ever be able to keep.

Losing my mind, this life is nothing but misconstrued blackened hues.
Why the **** does everyone cover up truth and trade shoes?
I want no part in this mess.
If I could I’d get myself back and be done with this forced petty distress.
If I could see the stars in the sky, maybe I wouldn’t think so much about my lack of time.
I can’t even appreciate the sunshine.
Because all anyone wants is my demise.

I guess I’m destined to be hated.
I’ve never been so jaded.
Will I be able to escape this?
Or will things keep leading back into remiss?
The thorns in my head are tearing me apart.
Don’t get me started with the lack of feeling in my heart.
So as I try to get out of this vicious cycle, I’ll try to stop living in denial.

I guess it’s time to let the blade take away the torment.
Because there’s no hope for any of this to lie dormant.
People take things way too far, and I’m left with a permanent scar.
Nothing will fix my tainted being and heart.
So I guess it’s time for me to depart.

My world is filled with hate.
I don’t know if I’ll ever escape.
I have little room to grow,
Why did they dull me so?
Where is it that I stand?
This plan is becoming so dispicibly bland.
Can I get away from their grasp?
I’m only one person, and the masquerade almost always has the upper hand.
Why did everything unfold in such a horrendous manner?
If only my being weren’t so shattered.

No control.
No soul.
My life is in everyone else’s hands.
Nowhere else I can stand.
Too many short hands.
It never ends.
To hell I guess they’ll all descend.
But the lies are their master plan.
Forcing me to live in their grasp.
Nothing good ever lasts.
I hope they rot and burn for all they planned.

Spent so many nights alone and I'm just longing for another's touch.
Not that type of placebo affect when you're stuck in an alcohol fuelled haze.
No.
Although that may be what I'm used to, I'm left here craving something real.
The souls that once made my heart sing have forgotten my touch.
But that's just my fate.
Maybe I was never meant to feel so deeply.
But now that I've had it I'm left trying to find a soul that craves me as much as I crave them.
But when it happens, it never lasts long.
They were my music, nothing was wrong.
Only passion was flowing through my veins, and I hope for them it was the same.
I know it hurts now, but I'd rather feel pain than be numb.
I know I'm nothing special, hell i'm the bottom of the barrel.
But if you feel it too, I promise I would do anything for you.

Thrown aside like a wilted flower.
I guess it’s safe to say I’ve had enough.
But there’s no one near so I’ll never feel their touch.
Why can’t I be worth more?
Maybe then everyone wouldn’t shut the door.
But I’m running out of time.
So I guess I should just try to let the sun shine.

Sliding down this seemingly never ending downwards spiral, I’m just lucky I’m not in denial.
Why can’t I find something worthwhile?
My life is unfolding in a catastrophic sense.
But my mind is too slow, I’m just happy it’s starting to make sense.
So how can I crawl out of the hole they’ve been digging me?
It’s gotten so deep that there’s no light that I can see.
This life is a hoax I just want to be me.
And regain anything lost including my dignity.

It seems like everyone hates me.
What am I to do?
When it feels like the ones closest to you are out to get you, there's not always hope for a new start.
I keep telling myself that everything will be okay.
But it seems to get worse with each passing day.
It seems people have lost all compassion.
Why did this have to happen?
Always lonely.
Never feeling at home it seems.
Drifting through life without a clue of what to do.
And still caught up with the idea of you.
It seems as though my time is running out.
And I'm slowly filling up with doubt.
If only I could find a way out.

How long are you people going to keep up these games?
There’s no need for anyone to play.
It’s senseless fuckery that gets worse by the day.
You people are despicably sick, is there not another way?
So as I pass my bouts of rage, I’ll try to get off of this page.
But you people are utterly insane.
Why make everything petty so it has to be your way?

With my being so fragmented how will i ever get any part of me back.
I guess i'm starting to feel for now but i want to let the sadness win.
I don't care anymore about being around anyone because i hold no one dear.
Isolated forever, why is this life of mine so unclear.
I guess in the past i didn't understand.
And all of this petty slavery has kept me with a shorthand.
It was nice for a while when i was heard to feel like someone actually cared.
But i've more or less been alone so it felt like a breath of fresher air.
Little did i know they were mostly against me.
My feelings were robbed and i would have rather taken the agony.
Being a sociopath turned me into someone worse than them.
So why the **** am i sitting here writing again?
I don't know where i'm going but i never want to return.
Because all of this torture turned me into the absolute worst.
I guess it's something everyone knew i could never withstand.
So why can't i find any of the beauty in life because i can't take their plans.
I guess i should just wander until my last breath.
Because people are so despicable and never give it a rest.

Hate around every corner.
And I’m so filled with doubt.
Where am I going now?
It’s hard to figure any of this out.
I’m in a sociopathic state.
But I can’t escape the hate.
I wish I weren’t stuck drowning in my life.
Will there ever be another way?
So in these passing days I’ll try not to take my life.
But my wrists just want to feel the sting of the knife.

It seems as though my emotions are making their great escape.
Believe me when i say i've tried to turn the page.
But there's nothing of value deep inside this rib cage.
Do people really feel this empty at such a young age?
What's to come if you can never fully immerse yourself in it?
Even when things are imminent, you find yourself wishing your feelings were infinite.
For years my new normal has been stuck in rock bottom.
But now that seems to be less of a problem.
Oh dear god what i would give to just be me again.
To feel like i've been taken apart piece by piece is the last thing i wanted when i set my mind to mend.
So where is the silver lining?
I guess i could just blame it all on bad timing.
I just wish trying to be me again wasn't so **** tiring.

So much hate, will I ever escape?
Why can’t I move past this and be happy for a change?
Have I ever been happy?
I forget what it’s like.
I don’t even feel like sleeping at night.
Trying to get the feeling back with whatever I can stomach.
But I’m a mistake in this existence, and somehow the masquerade loves it.
So what do I do to break off these chains?
I don’t know where I’m going but I know I need to change.

No one left, nowhere to go.
I just need to get out and find a new home.
Pain comes, and just as easily goes.
I always knew i'd end up alone.
No, i don't want your pity or anyone to save me.
I just need to find myself and maybe some company.
These bones are turning bitter, just in time for winter.
If i can find my happy place, i might be fine in this space.
I'm sick of the motions, this goes almost as deep as the ocean.
Who knew i had so much devotion.
But i guess when it's your life at stake, you really can't afford to make a mistake.
**** just get me out of this place.

So crippled I can barely stand.
******* people and all of your plans.
Why don’t I bury your face in the sand,
Stick a stone under your teeth and stomp in your head.
But wait isn’t that your plan?
Right I didn’t see it coming so I guess this is my short hand.
No that’s not how it works.
You people deserve to be left in the dirt.
I’d incinerate your organs after carving your skin.
To try to see if you’re all as ugly within.
All you people make me want to do is sin.
But I can’t **** you because I don’t always know who it is.
So as I dream of ******* nails into your eyeballs and carving out your face, for all the petty ******* that show you’re all a disgrace.
I’ll try to get out of this demented “race” this isn’t life. You don’t **** all the good away and hide your true face.

Where’s your jugular I want to rip it to shreds. Start at you knee caps and tear open your heads.
I don’t care what you have planned next.
Because I hate you all so much I want the whole universe dead.

Go ahead and play your sadistic petty ******* cause you all want my head.
Well it goes both ways cause life would be better if you people were dead.
If only I could drive a ******* stake through your heads.
But wait I’m just one person so I guess it doesn’t matter what’s said.
Driving a stake through your heads would never suffice, for all your petty torment always leading to you feeding my demise.
You’ve always had petty hate locked behind your eyes.
Do you really have to drive people insane to feel good at times?
Yeah I guess you have a hold on whatever’s left of this being.
But you all deserve to get slain then rot for an eternity because this is something no sane person could fathom seeing.

To the blade will I succumb?
At least I no longer feel numb.
Most times uncomfortable in my own skin.
Is there a way to let love win?
It’s tiring not usually being who you are.
But it seems I’m becoming more me, is there hope to reach the stars?
What’s next in this mess I call life?
At least I’m feeling less strife.
If only I could feel effervescent.
But things change and I feel I might be losing some recollection.
So as I try to find the right direction,
I’ll hope I can stand my own reflection.
And maybe find someone to breathe some meaning into my life.
Because without love I’ll always lead back to the knife.

Faces once friendly are making me question my hope.
Where am I going? Maybe I should let go.
But what am I letting go, if it’s mostly my life?
I can’t give up on myself but so many people bring strife.
I feel like I’m hanging on by a fibre of thread.
What’s happening in this chaos? What’s left of the mess?
Seldom people to trust and I guess I have to hide.
Maybe not everyone is wearing a disguise.
But I’m stuck in this trap and I might be starting to drown.
I guess I’ll just have to try to turn this disaster around.

My being is filling up with hate.
Will I be able to escape?
My life is seeing too much rain.
But I don’t feel pain.
I guess it’s just mostly disdain.
So as I try to rebuild, I’ll hope I don’t fall.
Hoping that one day I’ll get out of this crawl.

It was never my intention to bring you pain.
Now I’m left with all this disdain.
Now all I can see is the coming rain.
So tell me, will any of this ever be okay?
You say you feel defeated and I’m sorry that’s how you feel.
You met me at a strange time and I was still trying to heal.
You brought hope into my lifeless world.
This isn’t how I expected everything to unfurl.
So tell me now, will you ever forgive me?
I was so lost and thought you might have been the key.
Now I’m left feeling misery.
I know I’m undeserving just please let me keep my sanity.

Sick of the *******, and the endless petty lies.
Sick of you people dictating my life, and trying to choose when i die.
All of this is such a disgrace.
I will probably never again wear a genuine smile on my face.

This town is a disgrace.
Why the **** am I still in this place?
it seems death is my only salvation.
Because it’s me against the nation.
And if it’s not then I’m completely blind.
I’m surrounded by enemies and there’s nowhere to hide.
I can’t stop thinking about my lack of time.
Or how it felt when things were right.
It seems any dream I can fathom is out of sight.
And everything’s getting darker, there’s no way to let in the light.

I feel like a stranger in my body, no organs are working in harmony.
So displaced.
I hate this place.
I've become a disgrace.
Can i turn the page?
Or will i tear my skin open in hopes of shedding everything i hate?
I think it's too late for me.
At least i still have my sanity.
But i will never find a key.
And i know the problem is me.
But there are far too many renegades working against all of this.
I can't find a way to climb out of remiss.
I guess i'll stay awake with the moon to watch the sunrise because that's the only type of bliss i won't miss.

You were the one person who didn’t make me want to hide.
Now I’m stuck drifting through their played out disguise.
I wish we could have had more time.
But even in the moonlight you would always find a way to shine.
So in your absence I’ll still hold our memories dear.
Even though you aren’t here I wish you were near.
I know I have a lot of new fears.
But life seems meaningless when you aren’t here.