Prying into my life and destroying anything that ever held any meaning to me, like a parasite who can't stop feeding.
I can't decide whether i should try to be strong or focus on leaving.
But this is such a petty game, worse than the masquerade.
I feel a strong sense of shame.
And all of this just keeps getting worse by the day.
How can i figure out how to rearrange the fabric of my being, to one i can handle feeling and seeing?
i know i won't end up grieving, because as people come and go, they always end up leaving.
It's just a cluster of fuckery that keeps getting blown at me, like a machine gun that won't stop reloading.
Where the **** am i even going?
If i could find a way out i would take it.
**** the masquerade and this parasitic worm just fakes it.
How can you live your life feeding on the weak?
I guess i need to dust myself off and just try to breathe.
But i'm losing here and the alliance is too hateful.
I don't know if i care anymore i just wish i could turn the tables.

Maybe sometimes you think you have a chance at love. But then you stop and look around and realize you're not good enough.
Maybe you can feel them slowly walking away.
Don't let him know that you're not okay.
Maybe you know you'll never find love again.
But you've been through hell so don't stop trying to mend.
Maybe it was all just bad timing.
But with him you felt like shining.
Maybe you just need to get away.
You always dreamed of making your great escape.
Maybe you'll never escape the lonely lifestyle.
Just don't let yourself get stuck in the turnstile.

Sometimes i'm left pondering the afterlife. Is death a sentence? or a new beginning? Some say your beliefs play a pretty big role. But how will you know when you're about to pay the toll? It feels like i'm already dead. I know i shouldn't give up, but my mind won't give it a rest. **** it's such a mess. For my friends i really did only want the best. Maybe some souls just get lost on their paths, by beggars, liars and thieves making others plea. Plea for the things that should be a natural manifestation. I'm falling apart at the seams, so i guess i'll just stare at the constellations. In a place so full of beauty and wonder, how could i have let them dull me so? I guess i'll never know. So as i try to think of a way to get the twinkle back in my eyes, i'll try to cheer up and stop thinking of ways to die.

Am I tiptoeing carefully? Or falling down the stairs?
I still get the feeling that life is never fair.
So should I fashion a dare?
Take a leap of faith with you, or leave with far too many cares?
It seems my life is up in the air.
And all anyone can do is sit and stare.
It seems my hopes are always fleeting.
And my heart and mind can get far too deceiving.
I know I don’t really want to see myself leaving.
Because for you I know I would always be grieving.
At a loss for something that could feel like a breath of fresh air.
But I’m losing the fight, this isn’t fair.

When everything seems different but somehow stays the same,
How do you find where you’re supposed to stay?
Maybe there are clues in what they talk about,
But I can’t keep living filled with so much doubt.

Can you be my ray of light?
I’m in need of some sunlight.
I want to do away with the fright.
But I don’t want to fade away into the night.
So how will I watch the flowers bloom?
Or not feel alone in a crowded room?
I don’t want to let the doom consume.
Because I’m at a loss of what to do.
Will I ever reach the stars?
I’m so lost and I think it’s too far.
I just need to align with the sunrise.
So I won’t have to hide.
But I’m always left fearing my demise.
And hoping I won’t run out of time.
Is there hope to find someone to love?
I just want it to feel like the star dust from above.
But who could love such a lost and damaged soul?
This life has taken its toll.
All I could hope for is for someone to hold.
And let the rest of my life unfold.

Cold and alone, when will i find my home?
I guess maybe i've got more love than i've ever really shown.
But that's not the case anymore.
All i see are closed doors.
When fate creeps in i'll most likely see the end.
No one is here, how can i possibly mend?
And maybe mending isn't the problem.
God knows i'm broken beyond repair, and i've already lost them.
So i guess i'll have to pick myself up.
But the way things are going i might have already had enough.
So as i write these words, longing to be heard, i'll continue to roam the earth.
Searching for a soul like mine, who will allow the beauty of this world to shine.
But i fear i'm running out of time, how could i possibly find someone to stay by my side?
So as i continue to mostly hide from the world, i'll try to work up the courage to let something beautiful unfurl.

The masquerade is growing,
And my fate is unknowing.
**** the masses,
What else is unfolding?
Things are looking grim.
And all I see are sins.
So how do I get out of this web of lies?
They bury the evidence and they even keep me in their disguise.
They never cease to break me down and bury the truth.
I just want to get up and out but things are so misconstrued.
I have no hope to continue on this bleak path.
Will I ever find any sort of happiness with the potential to last?
I have nothing left in this lifeless body that I carry around.
If only I could find a change of pace, as I try to find a happier sound.

Going back to the night with tears streaming down my face,
The blade didn’t work so I guess I’ll have to live out my unthinkable fate.
I want to slip into the unknown and never look back, because everyone’s eyes are filled with hate and there’s no getting anything that was ever mine back.
So as I ponder the afterlife and try to be set free, I’ll keep dragging this corpse through life as I try to regain any ounce of sanity.

As the moon waxes and wanes, I find I’m still astray.
Death seems like the only salvation. But I don’t want it to be this way.
So as I try to find a light, I’ll try to make it through the night.
But the stars don’t seem to shine as bright.
So I guess that’s why nothing ever feels right.

The web keeps unfolding while some keep intertwining their lies. Why the **** are they so quick to **** people over when it’s them who are in denial? So **** the ones who think they’re superior just because of who they say they are. It’s not supposed to be up to anyone, what’s dealt in the cards if your life. So while they keep people in fear or strife and lead the unfortunate straight to the knife. I’d rather be wandering aimlessly into the night, than go through you peoples motions that only trap me in this petty pathetic tragedy of a life. So while I hope that the truth can be brought to light, I’ll come to wonder why you people so senselessly ruin others lives.

I don’t miss the blade but I miss it’s pain. But this petty ******* is driving me insane. I don’t understand why they play all of these games. Nothing makes sense and no one is sane. So **** this chaotic web and all of the stress. It ruins your head and what’s in your chest. So how do I escape? It’s a lifetime of pain. I want to get away but they just want to end my days. I guess as this petty fuckery continues I’ll still not have a clue on what to do, because everything stays misconstrued and no one ever stays true.

Always trying to find my way out,
I'm finding that there is starting to be less doubt.
I can't say that i'm finding much clarity.
But how much more air do i get to breathe?
I can't say anyone will ever want me back.
It's far too much that i lack.
So why am i always dreaming of a better place?
Sometimes i guess i have a smile on my face.
But everyone in my life always seems to leave.
Or maybe it's the way in which i perceive,
The patterns of life, maybe it's abstract.
Maybe before i run out of time i'll be able to gain my life back.
So in these passing days i'll continue trying to dream.
And make my reality feel better than it seems.

Nothing will ever be clear if the fuckery never ends. The truth is always twisted because they don’t care or listen to anything that makes sense. So while I’m trying to get my mind back that they’ll probably always deny. I’ll just sit here writing rhymes wondering why I ever even wanted more time

Why is there always some sort of petty hidden plan? There’s no logic involved so where the **** do I stand? I know I don’t always think clearly, or maybe not at all. But all of this conniving fuckery just ends in my never ending brutal fall. I don’t know where this path will take me but there never was a key. I don’t know what to do because I’ll probably never be able to see.

So much fuckery I just want to scream.
Why can’t all of this be just a bad dream?
My life for too long has been falling apart at the seams.
And I still can’t figure out what all of this means.
What kind of people leave someone so crippled in life?
It’s just a continuous struggle that’s just a ripple of strife.
I can’t even make anything of my contradicting life.
Because all anyone does is lead me to the knife.

Drowning in my life.
I don’t think I have any more fight.
Fading away.
I guess that’s why no one ever stays.
Sinking in regret.
What’s left in my chest?
I don’t know what’s left.
And I can’t keep living with all of this stress.

Deception is starting to feel normal.
What kind of world do we live in where everyone wears a mask, hides their true colours, and has a hidden agenda?
What happened to finding any sort of meaning?
Why is life so crude?
I’m left opposed to the general population.
What’s left?
No hope.
No soul.
I’m finding that I’d rather be alone.
Seldom friends, mostly foes.
What’s next is left to the unknown.
So as I try to find a change I’ll hope that life gets better someday.

When everything always seems to leave.
What do you do to change the world you perceive?
Is there somewhere I could go with a little more hope?
I feel like by the end of this there will be a noose around my throat.
But I want to try to make this life count.
A change in the rhythm, maybe another sound.
So how can I live the life I’ve always dreamed of?
Something tells me I’m not enough.
So as I try to change things for the better, I’ll try to put together different letters and hope that in the future I’m more put together.

I know it’s been hard but nothing makes sense. I want to keep you close, you’re a part of me, while they all want me dead. So **** these people and their bigoted conniving plans. Nothing will ever make sense and apparently it’s only them who decides where I stand. So while I try to dodge my predetermined fate, I’ll try to get away; maybe make a lot less grave mistakes. For you I always want the best but it seems I’m inept. So **** these petty tyrants, they should be the ones for whom it ends in death.

You long to know what i'm hiding inside, forcing me to run and hide.
Isolating the problem, fearing what you'll think.
You're only in luck if you can read what i scribble in ink.
Will what i have to say really intrigue you?
I don't want to be one of your walk throughs.
I struggle to find myself in all of this haze.
My thoughts are beginning to turn into a maze.

Cold and alone.
I can’t withstand these brittle bones.
I have no place to go.
No friendly faces, just foes.
Why do people pretend to care?
I’m gasping for air.
Drowning in this mess.
Lost more feeling in my chest.
Is it gone for good?
I feel far less than anyone should.
I just want to escape.
As I hope for a better day.

I need a way out.
Any way out.
Always being led astray.
Never seeming to be okay.
Everyone's concerned about their own gain.
I guess i was just too focused on the pain.
But i do have a kind soul, at least i'd like to think.
I just want everyone to be happy, i'll scribble in ink.
So if the curtains closing,
I'll continue hoping.
For things to work out for the best.
And maybe focus a little more on myself, and a little less on the rest.

I guess this is it.
And all that's left is unresolved feelings and despair.
It's no wonder life turned out this way, and no wonder no one wanted to care.
So as i wish that there were more hope for the ones i love.
I'll hope that when the time comes they can watch over the earth in a better place from above.
But there's no time left for me anymore.
I guess the hoax is over and there's nothing left but the everliving pit of a door.

If everything has withered away.
What's left in my head, why isn't there another way?
I can't keep going if there's nothing left.
So **** this conspiracy you might as well put a bullet in my head.

So what do you do when life comes crashing down on you?
What do you say when you're never okay?
What do they mean when they say it's not what it seems?
I guess sometimes life doesn't answer all of your questions.
But i'm sure you can figure it out.
I mean, things won't stay dim forever right?
I hope not, because i can barely make it through these nights.
I've been stumbling around and barely making it through life.
Maybe i just need to feel the sting of the knife.
That's not always the answer, and maybe there never is one.
But if this is life, i want to make a change, i can't be the only one.
So i'll keep my eyes fixated on the sky.
Until one day, maybe i can spread my wings and fly.
Until then i'll just hope that the shadows don't get the better of me.

Lost in my mind, I'm still running out of time.
Lost in life, and I'm aching to feel the blade of the knife.
Let the warm rush momentarily dissolve my fears.
But that never works, or stops the running tears.
Where do I go from here?
It's not like I have a home.
No one is near.
Maybe I should just pack up and go.
When the aching starts you find yourself wanting to numb the pain.
I'm not picky on how, it's not like I have anything to gain.
"Keep your head up" they'll say. And you do everything you can to believe them.
But when you're so alone they don't realize how much you need them.
Constantly feeling a sense of abandonment.
Maybe things would work out better if I weren't so ******* adamant.

Can’t escape dying in vain.
I can’t stay the same and it’s driving me insane.
Why is life a ****** up game.
Tormenting who they “don’t like” for their own sick gain.
Nothing is ever supposed to stay the same.
Life is supposed to be a spiral not some twisted charade.
There’s no point to the ******* because they make everything seem true.
What’s the point of distorting reality.
It’s so contorted because people’s hearts or heads are filled with greed.
What happened to respect peace and harmony?
It’s like everyone forms their own alliances and it’s like some ****** up army.
So I guess that could mean it could turn into a more despicably vicious cycle.
I guess I’m not the one whose living in denial.
But I have no will to help what I can fathom.
So **** it I guess I’ll just succumb to the shadows.

There's nowhere left to watch the flowers bloom,
or not be alone in a crowded room.
It seems all that's left is my merciless tomb.
And the end of fates for me and hopefully not those that i hold closest to.
So as i try to see clearer on this petty senseless web.
I'll realize that there's no value intertwined it's just their cult and the ones they want dead.
So as i reach my final breath i'll hope they give it a rest.
But there has never been less meaning or sense in this valueless mess.

Trapped in this vessel.
Am I just a shell?
I can’t even tell.
I’m drowning in these disorders.
How long have I even been cornered?
I can’t take the sting of the blade.
So I guess here’s to trying to live the rest of my life before I go completely insane.

When you've lost your voice, and end up with no choice,
How do you make anything better?
I guess i should stop treating everyone as just a letter.
But when you have trouble deciphering the mess.
It's hard to figure out if there's any of yourself that you have left.
So what do i do to win back what was locked away in my chest?
I guess i should start to make my escape.
Even though i'm more or less of a disgrace.
So in the days to come i'll try to appreciate the rising sun.
And try to think less of all the questionable things i've done.

The plot seems twisted around every bend I pass.
Where am I going? I don’t want this breath to be my last.
But the masquerade gets more deceiving almost every day.
Why can’t I find it in me to make a better change?
But I’m stuck in their clutches, and they’ve taken almost every bit of me.
I just want to make it out alive, I just need to figure out how to see.
So as I try to make sense of this mess of mostly strife, I’ll just keep trying to win back myself and my life.

Lost in this web of chaotic lies.
It’s clear they used me to create every disguise.
So why is all they care about my demise?
I can’t even feel alive in the sunlight.
And so the plot continues to get more distorted.
Recreating themselves is what cause my being to become so contorted.
So what is “all of the work” that they “don’t want to be for nothing”?
I’m still not bluffing.
It’s my consciousness that’s torn.
And my being that’s become so worn.
There will never be a way to even the score.
Because they always wanted too much, I just wanted to be myself, nothing more.
So I guess it’s been misconstrued my whole existence.
I’m a waste of space and life should never turn out like this.

It seems like everyone's out to get me.
This doesn't make any sense to me.
People passing through for a short while i call them friends.
Little do i know that's not what i am to them.
Never been more lonely.
And this place still doesn't feel like home to me.
Well i guess i was always meant to be alone.
And sadly my heart is turning to stone.
But when i'm left alone with my thoughts,
I'm always searching for a way to change the plot.
I don't know what to do, i'm wasting all my time.
Left expressing myself with all these stupid rhymes.
I want to break free from my mindless ways.
Get up, get out, and find a change of pace.
Everything's so hard when you have no friends.
So i'm taking the time to try to mend.
My mind, heart and soul aren't in the best shape.
So why is my world still filled with so much hate?

Left for dead.
What’s there left to do?
So misconstrued I’ve lost my shoes.
My heart is a barren wasteland.
Just let me sink my toes in the wet sand.
Forget about their plans, and this awfully crafted hand.
There’s no where left to go.
Lost my heart and soul.
I miss feeling woe.
But I’m stuck in this broken home.
There’s nothing for me here.
And everyone’s hate for me has become so clear.
So **** it all there’s no need anymore for tears.

Why torment someone for so long that they’re weak at the knees?
My life is a hoax that’s always been tearing apart at the seams.
What’s with the deception?
These disorders corrupt my recollection.
But I find that I can only be, why won’t they leave this vessel? It’s clear I’m trapped and they just can’t see.
Or maybe they can but they use me for their contortion.
There has to be another way but I can’t find the notion.
So as I try to stop drowning in this mess of petty slavery, I’ll try to see more clearly until I can live my life as only me.

Life is like a petty ******* game, and it’s driving me insane.
I don’t know why it has to be like this.
But to never return is my only wish.
I don’t get how people can do such horrendous things.
Playing on the weak and there’s no peace it brings.
So what’s with all of these given disorders?
I’m lost and I don’t care to be found I’m just trapped in a corner.
So how did things end up like this?
I don’t care anymore I’m just trapped in remiss.

Maybe i'm too consumed in this seemingly catastrophic mess.
What seems like life or death to me is more or less a game to them but i swear i'll never pretend.
So i guess what's left is to try to be stronger and mend.
But this kind of life is ridiculous to me and i hope this never happens to anyone again.
Maybe i'm too weak, but i say that they're blind.
By power, evil and greed all being consumed by their mind.
So is there any hope to turn my luck around?
This has been going on for too long, i just need another sound.
But with all of these hues slowly melting together, a once vibrant rhythm has turned into a darkened and tethered leather.
So as i try to find a way to bring the pieces back together,
I'll try to hold on a little longer and hope for some better weather.

All life seems to be is merciless destinies.
All of you people power trip and fill your greed.
There's nothing left of my sanity.
All you people care about is your vanity.
What does it matter what skin your in?
It's just a merciless doom for your lust filled sins.

It feels like this is all a game.
But i can't do it alone.
Every time i seem to catch up, i get cast out all on my own.
Would you be there if i called?
I know i'd try my best to help if you ever fell down.
Am i at the bottom again?
This time is worse than before.
I can't tell if it's an even score.
Something tells me i was born to lose.
Can't tell if i should find love, or the truth.

Maybe there's calm before the storm, but if there are always tides then where does the future reside?
I feel like I'm getting swept into the undertoe.
But if I find my way out, how is there so much woe?
There's seldom sorrow but mostly dispute.
How the hell is anyone supposed to end this ignorant feud?
Is it only in my eyes that everything is so misconstrued?
Or is everyone lost to the point that there might not be a need, in this, to continue?
So as I hope everything unfolds into a timely and tranquilly peaceful state,
I'll hope that there's more good to life than this sorry and menacing state.

So tear my chest open and see if I have a heart worth saving. People come and people go, always changing their mask.
Are they wearing one? I know you took yours off and burned it in the wreckage of your old self. But who is this new you?
What are you hiding now? Is it the loneliness that keeps finding it's way back? Or the brokenness that never ceases to appear when times get tough.
Well if what you're looking for is real, peer into my eyes, into my soul. Tell me who you see. I can't tell if it's even me.
So as I make my way through the wreckage of my life, I only hope to find the pieces that make me whole. And maybe, if I'm lucky, a soul worth sticking around for.

To the entitled, there's no need to take from others.
Why play pity to get what you want when you can do more?
Why belittle people to "be" or feel superior.
If it wasn't yours in the first place, then you shouldn't glorify yourself in what someone else took.
Modesty is not the best policy.
There's no sense in being modest when people are watching if you're going to over glorify yourself when certain people are around.
Why make people suffer just because you want power?
Why make people live in vain for what you want your life to be?
I have no answers that you people would accept.
Why?
You people make me suffer in vain while you all bask in stolen glory, belitting others.
And I'm stuck trying to find a humane way out.
And none of anything that's happened will ever make any of this in any way; justifiable.

And I guess it's just comforting.
To slip back into my old ways of feeling nothing.
I guess having someone by my side was never meant to be for me.
And I guess it doesn't really bother me that I'm wandering through life alone.
Yeah sometimes it gets cold.
But smooth seas never made great sailors.
So I guess it's time to see what life has in store for me.
While I try to stay strong as I try to keep my dignity.

Stumbling around trying to make it past these bends.
I can’t roll with the punches and keep wanting everything to end.
The storm pushes past in a few brief moments when I’m in your presence.
What happened to the better days, I’m still left pondering on the essence.
If only I could figure out a way to rid myself of the negativity.
But I feel like I may have lost myself completely.
So as I try to keep every last shred of my sanity,
I’ll try not to get lost in all of life’s vanity.
I guess I could try to make the most out of the time I have left.
Tell me, what’s the point if I don’t feel anything beating in my chest?
My soul feels like it keeps leaving my body.
I try and try, but have no interest in any new hobby.
I’m nothing but a lifeless corpse, dragging what’s left of my being around.
It keeps getting worse and I’m not sure if I can get used to the sound.
So as I try not to give up, I’ll just hope that one day I’ll be enough.

All this pent up agony, and it seems I'm growing colder.
Just fighting to keep the warm rays of light that I have saved up for these rainy days.
But it seems I'm losing the fight against my mind, against my heart.
What am I fighting for?
My souls diminishing into a dark cloud of uncertainty.
Is there anything worse I could be?
Well, yeah, maybe.
But when you have so much hope, it makes it hard for the world to turn you into ice.
Some say I'm too nice.
But when you feel sorrow for what it truly is, you want to make others see the light.
Maybe I'm not strong enough to change things.
Maybe I'll continue losing everything.
Maybe I never had anything.
Anything real that is.
It feels as though my last days might be near,
And when my world is so lonesome and cold,
What do I have left to lose?

When you’re left out on your own,
With nothing but a heart made of broken stones,
How do you find a place to call home?

When all you try to do is grow,
And nothing but negative feelings show,
How do you create your own rainbow?

When the world seems against you,
How do you make it through?
When you’re often feeling blue.

But you don’t know what to do,
Because you haven’t got a clue,
Why it feels like everyone hates you.

Tell me, what would you do?

Death is a fleeting friend.
And with that I don't want to handle it again.
So with this army of belligerent renegades,
It's clear that I'll never find a way to be saved.
It turns out I'm more or less a slave.
So why do I time and time again get tangled in their mess of a game?
I guess they can't be tamed, but at the same time why does all of this seem like an untimely fate?
It's a fact that these people will never learn their lesson.
So I guess I'll spend the rest of my days second guessing.

The events that unfold are always distorted, memories contorted.
What’s their plan in this demented sequence?
Are things getting better?
Or will they go back into remiss?
I’m finding more peace of mind and maybe more sanity.
But hate keeps me trapped and unable to see clearly.
This isn’t the way life should unfold.
For too long it’s my being they’re dying to scold.
So why won’t the ones who keep me in their grasp, find their own meaning to last?
And not just have hate to cast?
I guess nothing will ever be perfect, but the truth should never be covered up.
Every time things seem to get better, it’s always something that ends up being corrupt.
So as I hope the ones who drove me into a life of hate, can somehow find something to take it’s place, while hopefully I can muster up the strength to find for maybe the first time my truest face.

All of this feels like torment. Where do I go next? Stumbling around through this chaotic mess. Who am I now? What’s left in my chest? I just wish I could figure out where I could move next.