My life got ripped away from the fibres of my being.
No soul.
No home.
All that’s left are broken bones.
And I’m always left on my own.
How do I put some colour into my bleak world?
Will there ever be hope for something beautiful to unfurl?
I guess while I try to put stars in the sky I’ll try not to hide because fearing my demise is a waste of time. But I feel like nothing will ever be mine.
If only for once something could work out before I’m at the end of the line.

The masquerade seems to get worse by the day.
When will the fuckery end? Isn’t there another way?
Their eyes are filled with hate.
I’m stuck in their grasp, if only I could escape.
They turned a once soft heart into a sociopathic mess.
I miss feeling of the heart beating in my chest.
And the way my eyes would smile when I was happy instead of depressed.
But all that’s left is the wreckage of my old self.
I’ve been trying to get myself back but it feels impossible so I tend to dwell.
So until I can think of a way to be myself.
I’ll hope I can be more than what I usually feel, a shell.

My reality is full of their contorted distortion.
How will I get used to the motion?
There’s so much that’s left unsaid,
And without being able to think straight they get the best out of what’s hidden in my chest and my head.
Is there hope to turn the tables?
I’m stumbling in the dark and becoming so unstable.
If I could turn the page I’d try to find the light,
But most of the good in life is out of sight.
Will I rid myself of the never ending strife?
Or will I keep leading back to the knife?
I know I don’t want that deed to be done,
But I can’t keep up with the stars and the sun.
I can’t break free from this and my only option seems like it’s to run.
I wish this was something I could overcome.

My life is falling apart at the seams.
It’s much worse than anyone else perceives.
My soul once vibrant is turning cold and black.
Oh what I would give to get back all the things that I lack.
What would I have to do to fix my crumbling world.
I always had hope for something beautiful to unfurl.
But as time goes by life gets worse and worse.
I’m not sure what happened but somehow none of this hurts.
Trying to find the courage to get up and get out.
But I’m stuck in this sequence with too much doubt.
If I could find the strength to put myself back together, maybe I’d be able to change the weather.
But until I can make myself whole again, I’ll try to get my life back and never come back here again.

So i guess i'm the bad guy.
Hiding from the masquerade, they play night and day.
But when will things turn to a brighter shade?
I don't know if i'll ever be okay.
At least i'm more or less sane.
But i just want to run away.
Keep my eyes set on the skyline, not keeping track of time.
Try to live a life that's truly mine.
But is there enough time?
I've lived my life fearing my demise.
So i spend most of my time trying to break free or hide.
Well, i guess when the plot leads me into thinking i'm doomed i think i just need to see life in a different hue, but there's little hope to continue.
I just wish i knew what to do, but i can't find my shoes.

Maybe I’m better off hiding in the shadows.
Who knew being a wallflower would amount to this losing battle?
Is there a chance to overcome?
I guess I’m not really numb.
But these thoughts are overrun.
At least I can still appreciate the rising sun.
But I fear to the rope I will succumb.
I just hope I don’t get stuck in the slums.

And it's almost as if you need inebriation to stay sane.
Why do you do it? I thought you were trying to change.
It's hard to get out of these destructive ways.
But it's so easy to do because everything always seems okay.
When you start to realize maybe you're losing yourself.
Maybe now it's time to put the liquor back on the shelf.
I think the tides are settling.
And i know that's what you wanted.
So why can't you still help but feel haunted.
I know the paranoia eats away at you.
I guess that's why you're so detached from everything you do.
Maybe that's why you never feel like you have friends.
I guess the problem was always you and maybe there's no hope to mend.
But don't lose hope, you have to keep trying.
You can't let everything you love start decaying and dying.

A slave to your petty torment.
You parasitic bigots should give it a rest.
There's no good anywhere, what happens next?
Stop rearranging my fate, because there's already no hope, just death.
So as the web of lies keeps growing, it's you people's pre determined fate for me that's unfolding.
All of your hate keeps showing.
And i don't care when i leave because it's just a slimy life you people keep going.

Trapped in this parasitic belligerent mess.
If karma was real it would be off with everyone's heads.
You people are so ******* heartless and corrupt, hell ******* knows you'll all never have enough.
So as your overly glorified minds keep filling up with greed,
I'll hope if there's anyone good they'll see and be able to leave.
Because your cancerous disease never ceases to spread.
So ******* people's cult like alliance we're all better off dead.

Trapped in you people's lies, which brings on whoever you see fits demise.
There's no joy in sunlight, and by the moon i'm running out of time.
So what makes me you people's petty sacrifice?
This is all some parasitic morbid play, that only drives you more insane by the day.

You said you'd break my heart.
I didn't believe you, and now it's tearing me apart.
Not a day goes by where i don't wish i could change our fate.
I pushed you away and didn't realize i locked the gate.
And if i'm being honest you were the first i truly loved.
My life is deteriorating and i fear that soon i'll be watching over this world from above.
They warned me that you would ruin me, only to let me rot.
I was blind to how invincible you made me feel, so i never gave it a second thought.
You told me that nothing happens by chance.
I just ache to hold your hand.
Why am i so infatuated with our history?
But that devilish miracle is still a mystery.
Although you're not here i'm still mesmerized by your gleaming eyes.
Worried that you forever severed our ties.
I know i should just forget this and move on.
But i can't bring myself to erase you, even though you're gone.

What is it like to love and be loved?
I think it feels like the stardust from above.
What is like to be truly free?
I’ve been lost for so long I forget what it means.
Maybe I could live a better life in my dreams.
Because nothing is ever as it seems.
And I know I probably won’t find a key,
Because as things are unfolding I’m becoming less me.
So while I try to find a happier tune to sing,
I’ll try to chase the beauty in life and the peace that it brings.

I guess hiding in my dreams never works.
Because I have no control and that makes me somehow cursed.
So how does everything usually feel like the worst.
And nothing I ever try to do works.
I think people should try to look at things from different points of view.
Maybe then life would be less misconstrued.
But if you’re always biased there will never be another way.
What’s the problem in a better change?
Don’t you remember when everything felt brand new?
Maybe everyone should try to find their original shoes.
And maybe it’s easier said than done.
Because life happens and some people have to run.
I guess I know what they could be running from.
But that doesn’t mean to write it all off and throw people under the bus.
So as I try to bloom into the person I feel I am,
I hope no one else will fall to their last stand.
And **** people getting dealt hard or impossible hands, because peace and love is key for living a life you can stand.

It never seems to end, and I’m made out to be insane.
This is ridiculous I can’t take all of these conniving games.
What is all of “this work”?
It’s leaving me disturbed.
I need to find a way out.
But there’s too much doubt.
Why do they keep going?
There’s no point to the future they’re unfolding.
Everything in my eyes is more or less chaotic.
So many people are seemingly psychotic.
The masquerade is past the point of an alliance.
There’s too much bad karma and all they do is deny it.
What’s with this facade?
It’s more than just a hoax.
It’s more of a charade, it seems everyone whose clairvoyant never stops the game.
So why is all of this past the point of fixing?
Is it only my life they’ve been nixing?
I don’t get why this is happening I just hope those who have suffered because of these renegades, find peace in a brighter shade.

How i miss the comfort of the warm tears streaming down my face.
To know that it's okay to feel sometimes.
But my heart is more tainted than before.
My soul seems to be burning out.
My mind is reaching it's limits in comprehending the feelings.
What am i feeling?
For the past few days i've felt like i'm burning under my skin.
But why?
I guess i'm just lovesick, and not the good kind.
God how did i let my life come to this.
I don't even know when i started burning out.
But it feels like there's no turning back, and i'm living in my own personal hell.

Why did ****** do what he did?
My life is like a personal holocaust.
But instead of mass murders with gas, they ripped my life out of my being.
And my whole existence is so deceiving.
I can hardly ever catch a break.
Everyone involved whose doing this is so ******* fake.
How can I find anyone to trust in this mess?
I lost it all and they’re so thrilled with the torment and never really give it a rest.
So how do I rebuild? There’s nothing that’s mine inside of this vessel.
If it is someone else is using it, my life is turning into a distorted wrestle.
will I ever get myself back?
I just want to regain all the things that I lack.
But there’s almost nothing left.
I’m past just a mess.
I guess most of the time I seem fine.
But the fuckery is immense and sometimes leaves me feeling like I have to end my life.
Planted seeds of hate are all around.
And I know I’ll never get used to the sound.
I already hit the ground, the minute I got here there was no way out.
So what the **** was the point of making me their slave.
They just make me feel content so everything seems okay.
What happened to the feelings that I used to never be able to face?
I’ve been suffering for so long but instead of this fake nonsense I’d take the pain of suffering in place.
What happened to my soul?
Even that’s misconstrued and life has already taken its toll.
An existence strewn together with all of these disorders.
I was born into being stuck in a corner.
My childhood was torture, a complete living hell.
If I could just be me that would be ideal so maybe I wouldn’t really dwell.
And now it’s back to the torture because I’ll never be able to take it.
Day after day for 11 months and I can still barely face it.
What is with people who are only out to get people?
I used to be good but now I’m so unstable.
Feelings and soul are what make you, you.
Why did they go this far, there’s nothing I can even do...

Petty people, petty lives, petty games.
I’m sanely going insane.
There’s no point to this *******.
It’s always my life that stays in remiss.
Why the can’t this fuckery get dismissed?
No ones life should be this hard to live.
So as I hope they stop they’re stupid little games, I’ll try to find a change of pace.
Because this isn’t a battle of wits, it’s some demented race.
I’m sick of the masquerades *******, just let me find a better place.

Petty charades.
Petty games.
What’s with all the sins.
Why is life a game?
What’s with the torment?
Why is everyone for it?
I’ve had it with their *******.
And with having nothing no matter where I find to sit.
Life feels like eternal suffering with breaks of calm or content.
This is the worst torment because it never ******* ends.
So as I muster up the courage to feel the sting of the blade, I’ll hope I never come back again because all life is, is petty ******* games.

Living my life with a lack of my true conscience.
Why don’t I have my own life, as soon as it starts I’ve already lost it.
The masquerade is a ****** up army of renegades.
They don’t care unless they want it, there’s no peace in playing these petty games.
I had it as a child, even then they ****** me up, there was never peace in whatever they played.
So I guess I’m living in my own shadow.
But it’s no longer mine, I’m on my own, it was always an unfair battle.
Who puts peoples lives in other people’s hands?
It’s all completely ****** and I always have nothing but a short hand.
So what the **** is their master plan?
If you’re that ******* bored live your own ******* life and don’t leave me on my last stand.
So until I reach the nearing final page.
I’ll try to ignore their ******* because it fills me with rage.
As I try not to feel like I’m trapped in their played out cage.

What’s with all the games?
It’s driving me insane.
I’ve never had any desire to play.
Just let me be free, but with you I’m trapped in a cage.
Petty mischief.
It’s no wonder I’m stuck in remiss.
No ones life should turn out like this.
Go to hell and let me live.

This whole town is worse than the plague.
I know I shouldn’t be like them but they drive me insane.
I don’t know what to do because I’m strapped on the floor.
This petty torment turned me into someone worse than what happened before.
So why are they doing the same thing over again?
I’m a product of what I hate and I can’t escape but it doesn’t matter what’s said.
So as I try to find the pieces of my fragmented being, I’ll hope that it’s truth that people start conceiving.
Because this nonsense has no logic or any common ground, I’ve lived my life through a losing battle and I still can’t get used to the sound.

When you’re evil and conniving corruption is key.
Maybe that’s why they try not to ever let me see.
I’m not in it for myself it’s all of humanity.
I got blinded by hate because they set up my fate.
Now I’m trapped and I don’t even know if I want to escape.
My whole life is a charade, because people treat life like a game.
Maybe it doesn’t seem bad but it drives the good insane.
Why do they feed on those with good intentions?
There’s so much to say that I don’t know how to mention.
They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder but I see nothing good.
Is this the type of life they live?
They just **** away all of the good.
So why can’t they find it in them to just work on themselves?
Instead of ******* people over and putting their souls on the shelves?
So why can’t people just see things from a different point of view?
Is it really only me who thinks life is this misconstrued?
I don’t know what’s next but their plans are filled with hate.
Maybe that’s why I can’t get off of this god forsaken page.
Everyone seems to be liars, thieves and run off of greed.
They say they’re evil, but all I see is hate filled planted seeds.
So what’s the point in living like this?
******* people over to get themselves out of remiss.
And I’m not innocent either because they turned me into someone worse than them.
But the difference here is now I won’t accept a good hand.
They distorted reality in a contorted sense, all to get what they want and steal what they need right out of people’s heads and chests.
So why the **** won’t they just give it a rest?
Theres no need to put people through constant tests.
I tried to make people see but I couldn’t fathom what to do next.
Things don’t have to be perfect, but it is life itself.
Maybe that’s why I’m usually cautious and now I’m starting to dwell.
So what’s the next plan? I don’t know what to do next.
It’s not all up to me but I’m sick of people’s *******.
So as I hope no one else has to suffer like me.
I’ll just hope that those who need can learn how to see.

I'm the worst.
It's almost like a curse.
Can i lift off the debris?
At least it's kind of getting easier to see.
How did they make every problem me?
This hellhole is getting deeper and i just want to break free.
How do people feel superior degrading those that they see fit?
I don't understand, and there's nowhere i can sit.
My time is coming and i know i won't be missed.
But if i could trade this petty tragedy in, i'd be me without the sins.

Lost. Left for dead. Waiting for everyone to give it a rest. I’m miserable at best. There’s nothing of value inside of me, just thorns throughout and polluting what used to be mine in my head.

Everyone thinks there’s an easy way out.
But the masquerade never stops and I’m left with too much doubt.
I want to try to get up and out.
But I’m damaged and caged, and I’m slowly going insane.
Why won’t they just stop the games?
I’m starting to fill up with too much hate.
And left wondering if I’ll ever escape.
But this labrynth of a maze is filling up my days, with too much to undo because the truth is misconstrued.
So I guess it looks like I’m ******, because none of them will ever have enough.
And everything’s so distorted that the truth is so contorted that my life is just so horrid.
And I have nothing more than a predetermined mess of a life.

Last night you were in my dreams.
It was a sweet reminder of your touch.
But it went dark, and chaos arose from this gift of you.
Our sunny adventure turned to a stormy one.
How it hurts for even my dreams to taunt me.
In a perfect world, you would be in my life one way or another.
But this world is full of destruction and hate.
When will people see that we need no enemies.
Just love spread through the ages.
I think then we would all know peace.
But until I find you again either dreaming or awake, I'm still going to be searching for my light and hoping I can help light the way for not only myself, but for anyone else who hurts like me.

The words fly by with senseless hate.
How can I escape?
A prisoner in my flesh, a prisoner in my home. I don’t even care that I’m mostly alone.
The lies are machinated in an orchaestrated plot.
Where is the truth? It’s all I’ve ever sought.
As I try to unravel this spoiled mess.
I’ll try to be my own light and try not to feel so much stress.
But I carry so much weight on my shoulders, I’m at a loss and I’m only growing older.
So as I hope that people will come to their senses, stop the hate and the petty **** and hopefully none of this will stay in remiss.

Trying to find my way out of this endless spiral.
I know i'm at fault too but this isn't denial.
So many people wearing masks.
And i'm still left searching for a happiness with the potential to last.
I know i used to be ready to end it all.
But every time i try to get up it's just a matter of time until i fall.
So what if there was a way to live the life of my dreams?
I try and try, but nothing is ever as it seems.
Faces come into my life but still nothing is clear.
Things might be getting worse, but i'm finding i have less fear.
I still don't know where i'm going but somehow i'm finding clarity.
Having friends in this life somehow feels rare to me.
So as i try my hardest to find some direction,
I'll hope things get better, including my sense of recollection.
And in each passing moment i'll try to get myself back.
Just so i can finally stop taking things for granted, as i try to gain what i lack.

Living my life as a puppet.
Why does the despicable happen? Why do they love it?
If only I could fix all of my mistakes.
Maybe then I’d be free instead of being locked in a cage.
If only I could fix things and change fate.
But the puppeteers forced me to make such grave mistakes.
Is there a way to fix any of this?
I need to figure out how to fix it because no one should have to live with any of this ****.

It hurts that you want to purge me from your life.
I guess there’s no telling what I’ll do with the knife.
Something tells me you hold nothing but hate for me.
I guess this was all wrong and we were really never meant to be.
I still wish we could still communicate through our poetry.
But as far as life goes, I’m down and out and just trying to keep my sanity.

Find me by the ocean.
Let’s love away the pain.
No need for all these games.
Being so alone is driving me insane.
Will we get lost gazing at the stars?
Or do I not have enough heart?
I ache to love the way I wish to be loved.
And feel the stardust from above.
So will I find my someday?
Or will I succumb to the pain?
I guess time will tell, until then I’ll be stuck in the rain.

What happened to the shards of my fragmented being?
Are they back for good?
Or should I focus on leaving?
I can’t move forward if I’m always being pushed back.
I can’t keep living like this cause it’s me that I need to get back.
So as I try to be the best version of me I can be.
I’ll try to wash away the negativity that consumes me.
And try to find the missing pieces that make me exactly who I need to be.

Who am I?
Yes, it's true that you taught me how to love myself.
But it's now just a distant memory.
Did you show me who I truly was?
Or did you guide me to the path of the person you wanted me to be?
Did I really love myself?
Or did the chase just make me feel like I was worth something for a change?
I'm left pondering the way things used to be.
The way you used to be.
Oh how I miss how we used to be.

Life is too deceiving and I can’t brush off the embers of my smouldering life.
It doesn’t matter which path I take because they all only care about my demise.
So as the peices turn to shards it still doesn’t make sense.
The only thing that makes sense is that it’s life that I regret.

Blackened hues, so misconstrued.
There’s always been hope for you.
You just need to find your shoes.
I’m sorry too.
This feels like hell.
I’m nothing but a shell.
I hope you don’t dwell as you try to live a better life as well.
As I try to get out of this spell.

Always feeling like I’m never worth it.
I know I ****** up but you gave me a sense of purpose.
I really hope you’ll have a change of heart.
Because without you I know I’ll fall apart.
But I don’t blame you if you want to close the door.
I’m swimming in regret, and I guess I’m selfish for wanting more.

Finding it impossible to escape my life as a shadow.
Accomplishing nothing but failure.
Lost in a viscous circle of regret.
I'm a fire without a flame, and i am to blame.
If only i had a little more self respect.

The days are blurring together and I’m finding it hard to withstand the weather.
If only I could pull myself together.
But I have no hope to getting better.
I wish I could just figure this out and be me.
But the masquerade never stops and they’re tearing my life apart at the seams.
It doesn’t matter how much I plea, just let me hide in my unpleasant dreams.
I’m burning under my skin and there’s nothing left within.
It hasn’t taken me long to fall, but I’m stuck against a wall.
So as I try to escape this, I won’t think of whether or not I’ll be missed.
Because no ones life should unfold like this.
And everything is somehow always in remiss.

Find me in acid rain.
I feel nothing, no pain.
At least I seem sane.
But I’ve had it with these games.
How will I ever feel,
When the blood flowing from my veins doesn’t feel real.
Everything is so concealed.
Where is the truth?
When will I heal?
But what’s left when I can no longer handle the sting?
Of the blade carving into my skin.
Is there anything left within?
It’s not me whose condoning these sins.
So how did I end up in the middle of the fire?
There’s no hope for me, no real desires.
Except to find myself, all the fragments and shards.
But I can’t figure out how to handle these cards.
My life has been ripped apart from the heart.
I need to follow the stars and find a new place to start.

Everything is vain.
There's nothing more than hate.
No one is sane.
Belligerence seems Ike the only game people play.
So what will unfold in this merciless plot?
Switching your game up leaves you nothing but distraught.
There is no value anywhere I look.
Everything is gone, I was just an open book.
So while you rearrange my life for another countless time,
I'll wonder how I barely even have it in me to rhyme.

Maybe one day my fate will change.
But until then I’m stuck waiting for my someday.
Why can’t I regain the love that was once buried beneath these ribs?
It’s not me whose condoning all these sins.
So as I wait for the flowers to bloom I’ll try to be me.
As I hope others stop feeding off of this negativity and find the courage to breathe easily.

All this hoping and wishing, but I'm still at the bottom.
How do I get up?
I know I need to get up.
Am I still sinking?
Do I need someone to pull me out?
I'm not like any of them.
Maybe that's what makes it so hard.
Maybe if I was more like them I could find my way, any way.
Who am I?
I'm not sure I know anymore.
I'm not sure I ever knew.
Where am I headed?
I need to find a light.
I'm stuck in a daydream.
And not the good kind.

Sometimes you know that nothing will ever be the same.
And in times like this you just need to brace yourself, or get up.
It's hard to say what life will throw at you, but it's best to try to stay strong.
Maybe you'll find your way out of the mess you call your life.
But sometimes it's hard to see the light.
Being a pessimist makes times like these rocky.
But if you're ever gunna find your way through the tide, you need to picture the life you want to live and work for it.
Things might not be dark forever.
Maybe you'll rid yourself of the loneliness and uncertainty.
But it's hard to do when you can't find yourself.
Did you ever know who you were?
Or were you just stumbling through a haze day by day?
Well the truth is, you might not figure it out. Or maybe you will.
In the meantime all you can do is try to be you.
Get up.
Get out.
Make your life happen.

What’s left of me?
Who am I becoming?
It feels as if I’m almost devolving.
A flower whose petals has been picked apart.
Don’t get me started because I don’t know what’s left of my heart.
If only I could learn how to bloom to be truly me.
But this life is deceiving and I’m always lost without a key.
So what’s left in this sequence, I can’t even see.
So I guess I’ll just keep trying to unfurl into a better me.

Why does my heart continue to get tangled in my thoughts?
Somehow I found what I sought.
But it feels like he might be fading away into the night.
I guess maybe I’ll find a way to be alright.
So as the mess of my mind continues to consume me.
I’ll try to focus on blooming.
Maybe if I can’t fix my thoughts I can learn to grow.
I just wish it didn’t feel like you’re letting go.
You brought me so much hope.
I guess I’ll try not to tie a noose in this rope.

Snaking you’re way into my being.
Pretending to be my friend why the **** are people so deceiving.
I’m not gunna waste my time grieving, all I want is to focus on leaving.
I’m not me and I want to gauge out their eyes.
Nail their eye sockets shut for bringing on my untimely demise.
So why don’t they stop hiding behind their misconstrued disguise?
I would hack your skull to pieces but there’s not enough time.
So as I hope they get the karma for the things they do, I’ll try not to suffer in these horrendous shoes.
I’d rip out your tongue so there’s no more lies.
But I can’t cause these people enough pain.
So get the **** away from me and rot starting from your insides.

Trapped in this vessel day after day, I'm so sick and tired of everyone's face.
If I could think of a way to get slain, I'd take that over you peoples belligerent and petty pain.
You're all so selfish but what's left to take?
Everything's gone and everything's at stake.
So ******* all to hell I hope it's mortifying.
I can't go a day without thinking about dying
So while you people gloat in your stolen glory, I'll just wish that you people reach your end in this God forsaken story.

The end is nigh, let my body get scraped away.
This lifeless vessel has ran out of ways to stay sane.
There's not enough blood or guts to help me be free.
I'm going crazy with this sanity, just let me bleed to see.
But when my body has drained out, don't remember me
All you people ever did was cause a life of misery for your selfish plans filled with greed.

Lately i've been eating my problems away.
I hate when i do this, it's far from okay.
But when nothing feels good, you start to do things you shouldn't.
I stopped taking my meds, and it's ******* with my head.
Am i sanely insane? Or insanely sane?
No one can ever be sure, i just wish there was a cure.
But i'm straying so far from my goals,
Why can't i just be me, and be whole?

The days go by, and there's little life left in this vessel.
Just an ever changing burden of everyone whose infected my being.
Was this mind ever mine? Or were you always entitled to everything i am?
No matter your plans, i hope they turn to sand.
Because there's no escape in this parasitic hand.
And nowhere to go that doesn't let me escape being hell bent from you digging me deeper into this pit.
Just hate and anger and fleeting feelings that never stay.
I need to get away but i'd rather be blown to ashes than go through your petty ******* for another day.