Keep getting dragged down into the abyss.
I know my time is coming and i know i won't be missed.
How the **** did i end up in the middle of all of this?
This is all something of remiss.

So how do i find a better road to take?
No matter where i go i can't find an escape.
People trying to get back in but i closed the gate.
I want to trust someone, anyone.. But i feel like it's too late.
Is there anywhere left to go? Or is this just my fate?
I wish i could start over with a clean blank slate.

So as i try not to get consumed in this petty tragedy,
I'll accept that there never was and maybe never will be a key.
Maybe now i can try to regain my sanity,
As i try my best to be free.

Left for dead.
What’s there left to do?
So misconstrued I’ve lost my shoes.
My heart is a barren wasteland.
Just let me sink my toes in the wet sand.
Forget about their plans, and this awfully crafted hand.
There’s no where left to go.
Lost my heart and soul.
I miss feeling woe.
But I’m stuck in this broken home.
There’s nothing for me here.
And everyone’s hate for me has become so clear.
So **** it all there’s no need anymore for tears.

You stumbled back into my life and it felt like old times.
Maybe the beginning was a little rocky but it was nice to see you smile.
But my life is like a scale, always weighing down to one side.
And now I’m left fearing my demise.
If I had one wish I would get my soul back.
And try to gain all the things I lack.
So in these passing days I’ll try to feel alive,
And try not to think about my lack of time.
I guess all I can do is live in the moment,
as I try to be a better poet.

Images of you are haunting my thoughts.
**** them all I’m nothing but distraught.
Terrors from my nightmares are haunting the room.
How much longer before I’m consumed?
I guess now I want to rid you from my life.
How much longer until I reach for the knife?
Just let the warm stream flow down my arm.
But I know I’m only looking for harm.
I guess this life was never meant for me.
And there’s no way in hell you were ever the key.
I don’t even have my sanity.
So just let me fade away completely.

In a well orchestrated reality, how am i supposed to have the right mentality?
The end for me seems to be near.
And how i got here is becoming clear.
Who am i now that i don't wish for anyone to be near?
I guess i'll always be fragile.
If only i could learn to be a little more agile.
But now i'm stuck in this sequence.
It seems that everything is becoming my weakness.
Maybe i need someone to keep in my heart.
I guess i lied because i know love has always been the only thing keeping me from falling apart.
But everyone seems to be turning into shadows of faces i once knew.
Who knew my life would turn into such a disappointing hue?
What to do now? I really don't have a clue.
I guess i'll try to hold back the negativity as i try out these new shoes.

Fragments of my mind, shattered and scattered in the void.
What’s going on? Do I even have a choice?
I don’t know where am going, and I’ve lost my voice.
I feel misused like an old and abandoned toy.
Is there hope to get up? I don’t know if there’s stable ground.
My life has been collapsing and I can’t get used to the sound.
So what if I could get up, and put myself back together?
Do you think I would have more than these carefully typed out letters?
I don’t know which road to take, but somehow something always goes wrong.
I guess I just need to learn to find comfort in the melodies of the songs.

Thrown aside like a wilted flower.
I guess it’s safe to say I’ve had enough.
But there’s no one near so I’ll never feel their touch.
Why can’t I be worth more?
Maybe then everyone wouldn’t shut the door.
But I’m running out of time.
So I guess I should just try to let the sun shine.

Maybe feeling down isn’t a shade of grey, maybe your soul is growing and you’ll find a new way.
But that doesn’t stop me from not wanting to be alone.
I think I’d shine brighter if I had another to hold.
So as I hold my memories dear.
I’ll try not to think about the fact that no one is near.
Maybe one day I’ll have galaxies behind my eyes.
But until then I’ll try to feel more love as I try not to hide.

Why did I ever care?
No one was ever really there.
My whole existence is planned out.
That’s why no one truly cares.
And all everyone hoped was for me to stay oblivious and never find out.
I guess I’ll always be filled with doubt.
I just wish there was literally any way out.
So I guess that’s why they burdened me with all of these disorders.
It’s clear that this life has no order.
I find it sickening that life is really this ******.
I don’t care whose side they’re on cause I’ve had enough.
It’s so misconstrued when I call their bluffs.
The truth is distorted, will they ever get enough?
Why is everything about evil and greed?
Blinded by hate because no one ever sees.
Why doesn’t anyone care about all of humanity.
They say life isn’t fair but when you’re suffering you can find it hard to see.
Being unbiased has faded away, and for me there’s no hope for a brighter shade.
So **** the masquerade because they feed on the weak.
all they care about is power, evil and greed.
Maybe they don’t see, but I think they’re all corrupt.
**** it all because life has turned into a cesspool of people fiending over corrupted lust.

Drowning in hate,
If only I could escape.
If I could I’d fix all of my mistakes.
To try to fix my fate.
And maybe feel happy for a change.

Sometimes death seems like it lingers.
But I just want to be free.
There’s too much working against me.
And nothing is ever as it seems.
So why do they ignore my pleas?
They took it too far and I ****** up.
So what else is falling apart at the seams?
If I could fix this mess I would do it in a heartbeat.
But I’m inept and stuck strapped down in this seat.
It’s like everything gets ripped out from under my feet.
And it gets harder everyday to be the person I feel is me.
So as I try to get out of the crossfire,
I’ll hope that things don’t get too dire.
As I try to get out of the grasp of all the thieves and liars.

Life feels like a paradox, or at least like a tormented haunting.
There's no point in chasing happiness because it was probably just an illusion to begin with.
So what's left in this petty life of demented misery?
It seems that there is no value anywhere I look.
I guess I'm an open book.
But I'm stuck pondering on what would have been life if it wasn't so blatantly took.
So I guess this is it.
Petty suffering until they decide who wins.

Sit with me and let’s look at the stars.
I only hope to get back my lost heart.
Let’s watch the sunrise after being alone with the moon.
Now is not the time to let the doom consume.
Take my hand and we’ll wander into the unknown.
Maybe someday I won’t be so alone.

How long are you people going to keep up these games?
There’s no need for anyone to play.
It’s senseless fuckery that gets worse by the day.
You people are despicably sick, is there not another way?
So as I pass my bouts of rage, I’ll try to get off of this page.
But you people are utterly insane.
Why make everything petty so it has to be your way?

My life is a mess.
Is it just mine?
Or are there others suffering like me?
**** this petty *******.
I guess it doesn’t matter what I see.
It’s something I have a hard time trying to conceive.
Why does it always have to be about me?
I’m sure I’m not the only way who mourns this way with no will to play.
So why is life like a game?
I’m slowly going insane.
And I’m too weak to fathom the coming days.
So why can’t I escape?
I guess it’s where the masquerade and loop want me to stay.
**** why can’t things just work out.
Life isn’t a joke, there’s a reason for hope.
I guess it’s only a matter of time till I choke.
I just wish there were another way to make people see, that life could be better for everyone, and if I’m lucky maybe even me.

If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, what happened to the beauty I can no longer see?
I can’t even fathom how it got to this degree.
If only I could learn to soak in the beauty of the world.
Will there ever be hope for anything meaningful to unfurl?
Or will I continue drifting hopelessly through this cold world?
Whatever my fate, I need to escape.
Because this vicious cycle is filled with too much hate.

You deconstructed my bones and now all that's left is a sorry excuse of a sack of a person.
Desecration never ends.
There's no hope to mend.
Life feels pretend.
Because all I'm left with is your petty excuse of a hand.

Did people lose the ability to use their brains?
It’s a petty web of lies with their ******* games.
They use logic to lie, and common sense to corrupt.
Wasn’t ruining my life already enough?
But no you have to **** me by any means you see fit.
I’ve had it with you people and all of this contorted *******.
But wait the problem is always me.
How many times are you going to use my soul and disorders for your power tripping greed?
So I guess the problem was always all of you.
You get no satisfaction and only murky hues.
Thanks for the 2 years I thought life was good.
But everything else was torment and now all you want is blood.
Well if I could **** you all to hell and make sure you consecutively rot and burn, for all this demented slavery all taking turns.
I’d torture you all to death and make sure you’d never live again.
Stop bringing me back just to **** me over, or is your ruining the quality of life a trend?
You all deserve the worst, hell wouldn’t even make a dent.
So why are you people so awful?
I guess it’s cause your like a cult.
I could never insult any of you enough, leave me out of your ******* and stop making everything my fault.

What’s the point of sadistic suffering?
It’s lies that you’ve all been muttering.
You claim to be elite, it’s something I can’t conceive.
Who gets joy out of making the miserable grieve?
So as you continue to spin your web of unjust chaos, I’ll start to wonder about how much I’ve lost.
Just because you people do whatever it is to get what you want at all costs.
This is a despicable mess and what you people do is so undeniably wrong that I’d **** you to hell for the hellhole for me you’ve dug.

Maybe love was never meant for us.
If you can’t love someone’s flaws, you could never love them entirely.
And maybe that’s what ****** me up so much.
Maybe I was hoping that you could start to love me whole.
Was it ever love?
I was consumed by you and wanted to pour my feelings into your heart.
I always knew that time would tear us apart.
And maybe that’s why I’m still in the dark.

I'm a lifeless puppet, and the petty masquerade loves it.
******* all to hell.
I'll never get out of this shell.
I don't care if I dwell.
But it would be best if you'd never delve.
In these remaining days, I wish I could turn the page.
But I'm nowhere near sane.
And there isn't many other ways to get away.
**** anyone who thinks I want them near.
Because its nothing that I hold dear.
I'd rather wallow in my fear.
While you people sit there in vain to mess up my fate.
So its no wonder this is life.
**** it all pass me the knife.

Everyone's despicable.
There's no other way of looking at how life truly is.
It's not an army of misfits.
It's an army of uneducated kids.
This is vile and so is everyone involved.
Looks like it's nothing that any sane person could solve.
You people have no mind.
Just a will to get hellbent until there's no more time.

Living my life as a slave.
This is all so petty, what’s with all the games?
I just wish I could get out of this mess.
It’s more intricate than it seems so I guess that’s why everyone leaves.
It’s something I can’t even conceive.
So why does it seem like it never ends?
My life is falling apart and I can’t make amends.
I just hope none of this ever happens again.
There’s no hope for me because everything always feels pretend.
So I guess this is it because there are too many deadly bends.

The sky is turning black and cold.
I never fit into my ideal mould.
I don't know what's to come but it's the end of this life.
Why did i ever turn to the knife?
There's no way i can escape, so this is what's at stake,
My precious little girl wandering into a world filled with hate.

Stumbling around trying to get past this bend.
Problem after problem, when will the subliminal fuckery end?
I sometimes keep finding myself wanting to leave everything behind.
But something in me forces me to hide.
Deceivingly friendly faces almost everywhere I go.
Tell me now, is there any hope?
I got through the last bend, took the noose from my throat.
But something tells me i'm still gunna choke.

Somehow I’m finding that I’m still kind of okay.
But how can life get so dreadful day after day?
Looking back at my life it feels like a well thought out trick.
I need a new foundation but where are the bricks?
If only I could start over or find more stable ground.
Am I falling down further?
They’re all trying to make me drown.

So as I tread these trepid waters I’ll try to get to shore.
Trying my hardest to fix these problems at the core.
Maybe one day the dread will get washed away.
And maybe I’ll have the courage to find someone who stays.
But until I find a way to save myself,
I’ll try to make my life feel less like a personal hell.

Can’t escape dying in vain.
I can’t stay the same and it’s driving me insane.
Why is life a ****** up game.
Tormenting who they “don’t like” for their own sick gain.
Nothing is ever supposed to stay the same.
Life is supposed to be a spiral not some twisted charade.
There’s no point to the ******* because they make everything seem true.
What’s the point of distorting reality.
It’s so contorted because people’s hearts or heads are filled with greed.
What happened to respect peace and harmony?
It’s like everyone forms their own alliances and it’s like some ****** up army.
So I guess that could mean it could turn into a more despicably vicious cycle.
I guess I’m not the one whose living in denial.
But I have no will to help what I can fathom.
So **** it I guess I’ll just succumb to the shadows.

Why did ****** do what he did?
My life is like a personal holocaust.
But instead of mass murders with gas, they ripped my life out of my being.
And my whole existence is so deceiving.
I can hardly ever catch a break.
Everyone involved whose doing this is so ******* fake.
How can I find anyone to trust in this mess?
I lost it all and they’re so thrilled with the torment and never really give it a rest.
So how do I rebuild? There’s nothing that’s mine inside of this vessel.
If it is someone else is using it, my life is turning into a distorted wrestle.
will I ever get myself back?
I just want to regain all the things that I lack.
But there’s almost nothing left.
I’m past just a mess.
I guess most of the time I seem fine.
But the fuckery is immense and sometimes leaves me feeling like I have to end my life.
Planted seeds of hate are all around.
And I know I’ll never get used to the sound.
I already hit the ground, the minute I got here there was no way out.
So what the **** was the point of making me their slave.
They just make me feel content so everything seems okay.
What happened to the feelings that I used to never be able to face?
I’ve been suffering for so long but instead of this fake nonsense I’d take the pain of suffering in place.
What happened to my soul?
Even that’s misconstrued and life has already taken its toll.
An existence strewn together with all of these disorders.
I was born into being stuck in a corner.
My childhood was torture, a complete living hell.
If I could just be me that would be ideal so maybe I wouldn’t really dwell.
And now it’s back to the torture because I’ll never be able to take it.
Day after day for 11 months and I can still barely face it.
What is with people who are only out to get people?
I used to be good but now I’m so unstable.
Feelings and soul are what make you, you.
Why did they go this far, there’s nothing I can even do...

With so many rain clouds rolling through my mind I’m lost because you’re not trying to hide.
I guess more often than not I find myself wanting to be by your side.
So why won’t death release me from its grasp?
I think I might have found a happiness with the potential to last.
The winds may blow, but somehow for you my feelings always show.
Please don’t let go.

When will this lifetime of suffering end?
Sometimes it seems good but still nothing ever ends.
They give me a break just to go back at it again.
I guess this is why with none of this going on I’ll never make amends.
Why is this all crashing down and rearranging?
It’s always me whose changing.
Why can’t I just figure out who the hell I am?
But the masquerade never really seems to stop so I guess I know where I stand.
What’s with all of these demented plans?
It wasn’t me who set out all of these bad hands.
I can’t escape the torment and my life feels hell sent.
so why are people so horrible and crude.
My whole existence is so misconstrued.
I guess that’s why I never know what to do.
If only I could figure out who I truly am so I can find my shoes.

So i guess i'm the bad guy.
Hiding from the masquerade, they play night and day.
But when will things turn to a brighter shade?
I don't know if i'll ever be okay.
At least i'm more or less sane.
But i just want to run away.
Keep my eyes set on the skyline, not keeping track of time.
Try to live a life that's truly mine.
But is there enough time?
I've lived my life fearing my demise.
So i spend most of my time trying to break free or hide.
Well, i guess when the plot leads me into thinking i'm doomed i think i just need to see life in a different hue, but there's little hope to continue.
I just wish i knew what to do, but i can't find my shoes.

I guess the road is nearing the end.
Its a shame that my life was mostly pretend.
I guess it doesn't matter that I didn't get to mend.
No matter how brutal my demise. ill be thankful for those who lent a helping hand.

The words fly by with senseless hate.
How can I escape?
A prisoner in my flesh, a prisoner in my home. I don’t even care that I’m mostly alone.
The lies are machinated in an orchaestrated plot.
Where is the truth? It’s all I’ve ever sought.
As I try to unravel this spoiled mess.
I’ll try to be my own light and try not to feel so much stress.
But I carry so much weight on my shoulders, I’m at a loss and I’m only growing older.
So as I hope that people will come to their senses, stop the hate and the petty **** and hopefully none of this will stay in remiss.

My life is falling apart at the seams.
It’s much worse than anyone else perceives.
My soul once vibrant is turning cold and black.
Oh what I would give to get back all the things that I lack.
What would I have to do to fix my crumbling world.
I always had hope for something beautiful to unfurl.
But as time goes by life gets worse and worse.
I’m not sure what happened but somehow none of this hurts.
Trying to find the courage to get up and get out.
But I’m stuck in this sequence with too much doubt.
If I could find the strength to put myself back together, maybe I’d be able to change the weather.
But until I can make myself whole again, I’ll try to get my life back and never come back here again.

Maybe there's calm before the storm, but if there are always tides then where does the future reside?
I feel like I'm getting swept into the undertoe.
But if I find my way out, how is there so much woe?
There's seldom sorrow but mostly dispute.
How the hell is anyone supposed to end this ignorant feud?
Is it only in my eyes that everything is so misconstrued?
Or is everyone lost to the point that there might not be a need, in this, to continue?
So as I hope everything unfolds into a timely and tranquilly peaceful state,
I'll hope that there's more good to life than this sorry and menacing state.

When your whole existence is some sick charade, you get so ******* tired of the games they play.
Sometimes it gets better, but they never let you be okay.
Why does my life have to be a masquerade?
It seems everyone ends up being a renegade.

So how do I get up and try to feel something that’s mine?
I never knew it was so easy to run out of time.
So why am I always fearing my demise?
I guess it’s because for most of my life I’ve been mostly blind.

Friendly faces all around with ulterior motives.
All of this feels more or less erosive.
And I’m so far gone that I could care less about closeness.
The mess of my existence feels like a deep depth of the ocean.

So as I continue moving closer to the end.
I’ll stop hoping for a godsend.
Even though this mess was never truly only mine,
I’ll keep trying to make better use of my time.
While I keep trying to just feel.
Because there’s no way in hell I have it in me to fully heal.

The world I’m living in is fuelled by hate.
**** why can’t I find it in me to escape.
Playing favourites trapped me in this labyrinth of a maze.
Theres no point to the games they play.
Because making people suffer will never bring a good change.
So why did I let myself become someone like these renegades?
I have little to no hope for a happier shade in these blurring days.
I can’t understand why they **** out the weak because everyone deserves a life this is all so bleak.
So as I hope that people try to see life for what it is, endless opportunity.
I’ll try to see why they always make the problem me.
Because things like this drive people to insanity.
And it leaves less room for people to live the lives of their dreams.

Everything’s been stripped away.
I’m still trapped in a cage.
Like a bird without wings.
Never seeing again the joy life brings.
So why is everything left ablaze?
I can’t get out of this catastrophic maze.
So is there another way?
With the rooks in my way and I’m just their pawn.
Will I ever hear a better song?
Whatever happens I know I’ll soon be gone.

I can't believe I ever had the wits to apologize.
Because all you people ever do is bring peoples demise.
I hope you imbeciles reach an excruciating apocalyptic end.
Because you people take whatever you see fit with no will to let people mend.
So with your daft stolen minds and alter egos, I will never have any mercy to you people to show.
It says something when you people do the very same by your own hands, and single others out because you bigots can't take where you stand.
Because now it's not only you ignorant renegades who want blood.
I wish death upon you all, and there should never be any remorse for you peoples sins because you lie cheat and steal and put the masses through more than what you hide with your tongue. (Just for you brain dead idiots that means you're all lying)

Why am I still breathing?
I know it was me who was always leaving.
I never meant to break you down.
Please just get up off of the ground.
You always deserved better than me.
It was only you who couldn’t see.
Maybe you were never meant to be the key.
If I could hope for anything it’s for you to be happy.
I spilled my guts out to you hoping you’d understand.
But things never work out the way you want, and I just wanted to hold your hand.
You were my sweet escape, especially with that smile on your face.
And I’m left here wishing we had a different fate.

When you’re left out on your own,
With nothing but a heart made of broken stones,
How do you find a place to call home?

When all you try to do is grow,
And nothing but negative feelings show,
How do you create your own rainbow?

When the world seems against you,
How do you make it through?
When you’re often feeling blue.

But you don’t know what to do,
Because you haven’t got a clue,
Why it feels like everyone hates you.

Tell me, what would you do?

Acting like people are beneath you won’t get you very far.
Maybe that’s why this town is like a cult of an army, stealing things from others to reach the stars.
But you can’t go your whole life disregarding everyone else.
Just because you’re not happy with who you are doesn’t mean to contort what isn’t yours with nothing but your hate and doubts and no reasoning to what it’s for.
So as I hope people will see that misconstrued plots are no way to live, I’ll hope they stop using me as their ploy just to get to where they want to sit.
How long will this go on until they finally see, if you work on yourself first you’ll be all you’ll ever need.

It seems i've lost my heart and soul somewhere in this mess.
I just want to be me again and be done with all the rest.
But who am i really?
I've done my fare share of sinning but i can't be the only one who's guilty.
So where do i go when i've got next to nothing left?
There is no good left locked away inside my chest.
So what happened to feeling so deeply?
I'm not too sure, but at the bottom is where they're keeping me.
I have my eyes set on love, but do i have any to give?
If i don't, how do i get it back? I need it to live.
But who could love someone as disturbed and unfit?
I'm running out of options, where is it that i sit?
So until i can get out of this cesspool i live in,
I'll do my best to fix this, and not to sin.

The plot seems twisted around every bend I pass.
Where am I going? I don’t want this breath to be my last.
But the masquerade gets more deceiving almost every day.
Why can’t I find it in me to make a better change?
But I’m stuck in their clutches, and they’ve taken almost every bit of me.
I just want to make it out alive, I just need to figure out how to see.
So as I try to make sense of this mess of mostly strife, I’ll just keep trying to win back myself and my life.

It hurts that you want to purge me from your life.
I guess there’s no telling what I’ll do with the knife.
Something tells me you hold nothing but hate for me.
I guess this was all wrong and we were really never meant to be.
I still wish we could still communicate through our poetry.
But as far as life goes, I’m down and out and just trying to keep my sanity.

Falling back through all of my mistakes.
And I bet you guessed I feel mostly hate.
No hope to go on.
So why am I trying?
Never got better, just masked the idea of dying.
Hell knows I won’t be missed when my time comes.
Why can’t I just appreciate the rising sun?
So as I keep trying to pick myself up,
I’ll try to forget about the fact that I’ll never be enough.

life is trash when I'm just you peoples corpse of a slave.
it doesn't matter what I do, you people only care about things that's only your way.
you daft ******* imbecillic wastes should not be everlasting.
you took every ounce of my being, why the **** am I getting dragged through the dirt but somehow standing.
so let me nail your eyeballs into your throat, for taking away any chance of finding my own home.
and torch your skin until it blisters because this is so petty it's somehow sinister.
and I hope you bleed from everywhere at once, because you not only killed me but you plan on killing everyone I may have ever had any amount of love.

Still living as a shadow.
Tell me now, where does the good go?
Trying to find something with meaning.
Why can I only find it when I’m dreaming?
I know you make me feel like myself.
So tell me how can I stop the drought?
My mind is always hiding in the dark.
Is it the same with my heart?
Maybe one day I’ll be able to let the light shine through.
I guess I’m just happy you still want to continue.
You could probably say I’m still a mess.
So I don’t want to leave you with less.
But I’m struggling to be found.
I just hope I don’t drown.

The days go by and each hour gets worse.
There’s very little pain but I still feel cursed.
So much hate is filling up my heart.
I tried to get better but I still fell apart.
So where do I go in this orchestrated mess?
There’s no good in my life, and very little in my chest.
I just wish I could get away.
But this problems are building up, it’s getting worse by the day.
if I could get out of this town I might have more hope.
But I’m drowning here, can anyone pass me a rope?
But it seems that I have no one to trust.
It took some time but I learned how to adjust.
How do I figure out life and try to make the most of it?
I’m trapped and I don’t know if it matters where I sit.
Oh what I would give for this to all be just a bad dream.
My life is disasteriously unraveling at the seams.
And no one will ever care how loud I scream.

Always feeling like I’m never worth it.
I know I ****** up but you gave me a sense of purpose.
I really hope you’ll have a change of heart.
Because without you I know I’ll fall apart.
But I don’t blame you if you want to close the door.
I’m swimming in regret, and I guess I’m selfish for wanting more.

They turned me into a monster.
Nothing is fimiliar about my bones.
My heart is far past turning to stone.
Why is there so much woe?
So as I try to dodge their bullets that they never cease to fire,
I’ll keep trying to pick myself up, before my life gets too dire.