When you look at life what do you see?
All I see is narcissism and vanity.
The deeper I look it's greed and entitlement.
And at a glance there's only room for your bigoted wits.
So what was the point of making this life?
Everyone's a brain dead ****** with no room for giving anything that matters a chance.
You people see it as being on your "best behaviour".
You people make people need a ******* ******* saviour.
You people aren't doing anyone any favours.
Keep your ******* away from me you peoples "offers" and ultimatums never should have made it to the table.

Break my heart.
Let me know if it was beating in the first place.
Say my name one last time so I know it was real.
I know you don’t want me but how the **** am I supposed to heal?
No closure.
Just a lonely broken road.
And I’m no closer to finding a home.
Why did you have to go?
I have no more hope.
So let me tie the noose around my throat.

Again it seems like i'll always be a loner.
As the days pass i'm getting more ****** up and not to mention colder.
I can't wait till all of this is over.
Tie the noose around my throat and take the final leap.
Things are far worse than perceived.
So tell me what's left in this life for me?
Hell knows that no one will grieve.
I just hope i can climb that tree.
Just so i can finally be at peace.
But what went so wrong that my life was always so unspeakably dreadful?
All of this is just so regrettable.
As everything keeps making itself clear in my mind,
I find myself wishing it was my time.
So i guess soon i'll just have to say goodbye.
Even though i never had anyone that stayed this time.
But the weight isn't so bad because i have no options left and it's helpless to try.

The pain comes in times where i need it most.
But the rest of the time i'm numb, just thinking of ways to get the lost feelings back.
What if my fate is to drag around a lifeless body just searching for someone who understands me?
Well in this life there's no way to tell.
They say everything happens for a reason.
But could there ever be a reason to be stripped of everything that you are?
Is there meaning in taking someone's life from their grasp without giving it a second thought?
Well i guess some minds could justify what others would call cruel, or worse.
But until my time truly comes, i'll keep trying to be me.
Hoping i don't lose anymore feeling, as the rest of my life gets taken and locked away from out of my reach.

While you pick me apart day by day, and make sure there's no other way, I come to find there was never another page.
Because its a web of chaotic lies and your belligerent ways.
So why can't I pick out the seeds that you all planted?
This is a despicable mess and I'm the only one standing.
So what am I standing for?
A chance to escape.
But your greed filled ways and entitlement make it impossible to get away.
So while I hope that you all suffer worse, I'll wonder why life is a trap and it feels like only a curse.

Go to hell you *****.
Nothing in life will ever be enough.
It's because of you all that makes life **** this much.
Nothing will ever matter because you all manipulate the truth for your greedy bluffs.

When your whole existence is some sick charade, you get so ******* tired of the games they play.
Sometimes it gets better, but they never let you be okay.
Why does my life have to be a masquerade?
It seems everyone ends up being a renegade.

So how do I get up and try to feel something that’s mine?
I never knew it was so easy to run out of time.
So why am I always fearing my demise?
I guess it’s because for most of my life I’ve been mostly blind.

Friendly faces all around with ulterior motives.
All of this feels more or less erosive.
And I’m so far gone that I could care less about closeness.
The mess of my existence feels like a deep depth of the ocean.

So as I continue moving closer to the end.
I’ll stop hoping for a godsend.
Even though this mess was never truly only mine,
I’ll keep trying to make better use of my time.
While I keep trying to just feel.
Because there’s no way in hell I have it in me to fully heal.

The fuckery never seems to end.
I can’t fix myself because none of the versions of me are on the mend.
So is this part of their master plan?
Everything is always my fault but this should never happen to anyone again.
What’s left in time? I’m in need of a way out.
Everything’s deceiving and there’s way too much doubt.
So as I hope to find a way out of this labrynth of a maze,
I’ll hope they stop hiding behind versions of me because I’m going insane.

Searching inside for something i can't find.
Do i even have a heart inside?
How can someone go from feeling so much to so little?
Can you meet me somewhere in the middle?
I know i'll never be good enough to find someone to love.
So i'll keep inside the sounds of the mourning dove.
Why is it always pain and loneliness that follows me?
At least most times i still have my sanity.
So i'll keep my hopes folded up in my pocket.
And try not to lose the memories in my locket.
Maybe one day the light will shine through.
And i can muster up the courage to hold my head up and continue.

Everything’s been stripped away.
I’m still trapped in a cage.
Like a bird without wings.
Never seeing again the joy life brings.
So why is everything left ablaze?
I can’t get out of this catastrophic maze.
So is there another way?
With the rooks in my way and I’m just their pawn.
Will I ever hear a better song?
Whatever happens I know I’ll soon be gone.

Life is a waste of time and every entitled person made it so.
Why the hell did life succumb to everyone's egos and greed?
Why the hell are people devolving?
Why the hell are you people THIS ******* DAFT!?
I'm so sick and tired of this "game" and everyone's pettiness that I'm left wanting to ***** profusely.
What the **** happened to leaving people alone if they didn't do a single ******* thing to you.
And if you did Why the hell are those people more reasonable?
Why the hell is life an imbecillic mess of brain dead nymphos making my ******* brain lobes burst from their stupidity?
IM THE ONE WHOS ******* BRAIN DEAD BECAUSE YOU PEOPLE ARE SO ******* ******* AND NOW IM ******* ****** THAT I CANT CALL YOU DESPICABLE SACKS OF DAFT FLESH ANYTHING WORSE.
GO. TO. *******. HELL.
oh yeah and on the way there I hope you go through exactly what you all did to me plus brutal torture but faster🤗🖕

Life is too vain and it's full of deceit.
You people do too many despicable things and it leaves others trapped underneath.
This life is like a cesspool, and you're all filled with greed.
I'd erase you all, to try to be free.
I've lost my sanity, it's all just a hoax.
You people make life feel like a horrendously ridiculous joke.
So as I try not to choke, I'll keep in mind that there was never any hope.
I've suffered too many of you peoples petty blows, to feel sorrow.
It's just a contorted mess and I'm only left with anger and woe.

Death is a fleeting friend.
And with that I don't want to handle it again.
So with this army of belligerent renegades,
It's clear that I'll never find a way to be saved.
It turns out I'm more or less a slave.
So why do I time and time again get tangled in their mess of a game?
I guess they can't be tamed, but at the same time why does all of this seem like an untimely fate?
It's a fact that these people will never learn their lesson.
So I guess I'll spend the rest of my days second guessing.

There is no mercy I have to show.
You people deserve to rot no matter what woe.
Life is supposed to be a gift, not something you get dragged through with desecration.
You people are moronic imbeciles who poisoned the entire population.
So with tainted beings around every corner, I'll keep walking away knowing there's no order.
I hope you people are trapped in every circle of hell for the rest of eternity.
And I'll keep wondering why im still here if I'm so much of a burden.
But no torture would ever be fit.
Because you dismember peoples lives just so you can have whatever you wanted to win.

Thrown aside like a wilted flower.
I guess it’s safe to say I’ve had enough.
But there’s no one near so I’ll never feel their touch.
Why can’t I be worth more?
Maybe then everyone wouldn’t shut the door.
But I’m running out of time.
So I guess I should just try to let the sun shine.

The blood isn’t rushing like it used to.
What am I supposed to do?
I miss the warm rush streaming down my arm.
How long before it does any harm?
My eyes are starting to fill up with hate.
I know for a fact I need an escape.
It pains me to say but I’m just a mistake.
So I don’t blame you if you never want to see my face.
What am I doing here?
My life is so unclear.
I just know I need you near.

Maybe as the days pass there could be hope.
But I still feel like I’m going to choke.
Maybe one day I’ll witness everything in bloom.
And not feel alone in a crowded room.
So as I muster up the strength to continue, I’ll try to find the right shoes, in hopes of living in a brighter hue.
As I try to feel something other than black and blue.

The sky is turning black and cold.
I never fit into my ideal mould.
I don't know what's to come but it's the end of this life.
Why did i ever turn to the knife?
There's no way i can escape, so this is what's at stake,
My precious little girl wandering into a world filled with hate.

My heart and soul have been drawn out of my body.
I guess I need a new hobby.
My bones are withering away.
But I have this feeling that you won’t stay.
Everyone keeps leaving and locking the gate.
How do I always find myself feeling okay?
I hate just surviving. This isn’t living.
I always find that I’m far too forgiving.
So who am I now In this deceiving sequence?
Everyone knows that the concept of love has always been my weakness.
How the **** am I supposed to defeat this?
I have a feeling that whatever happens I won’t be missed.
What happened to all the time I spent trying to grow?
At least I’m not feeling only sorrow.
But now I feel nothing at all.
I guess my stumble turned into a crawl.

I’m at war with myself, living in my own personal hell.
I’m so far gone that all I can do is dwell.
You were the only thing that could brighten my days.
But I’m left wondering if you really wanted me to stay.
Either way I’m sorry for leaving.
At least we’re both still breathing.
So as I try to piece myself back together,
I’ll hope my brittle bones can withstand the weather.
I’ll keep you in mind from time to time, when it seems like the sun won’t shine.
But as the time keeps ticking away,
I’ll hope we both end up okay.

When you’re evil and conniving corruption is key.
Maybe that’s why they try not to ever let me see.
I’m not in it for myself it’s all of humanity.
I got blinded by hate because they set up my fate.
Now I’m trapped and I don’t even know if I want to escape.
My whole life is a charade, because people treat life like a game.
Maybe it doesn’t seem bad but it drives the good insane.
Why do they feed on those with good intentions?
There’s so much to say that I don’t know how to mention.
They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder but I see nothing good.
Is this the type of life they live?
They just **** away all of the good.
So why can’t they find it in them to just work on themselves?
Instead of ******* people over and putting their souls on the shelves?
So why can’t people just see things from a different point of view?
Is it really only me who thinks life is this misconstrued?
I don’t know what’s next but their plans are filled with hate.
Maybe that’s why I can’t get off of this god forsaken page.
Everyone seems to be liars, thieves and run off of greed.
They say they’re evil, but all I see is hate filled planted seeds.
So what’s the point in living like this?
******* people over to get themselves out of remiss.
And I’m not innocent either because they turned me into someone worse than them.
But the difference here is now I won’t accept a good hand.
They distorted reality in a contorted sense, all to get what they want and steal what they need right out of people’s heads and chests.
So why the **** won’t they just give it a rest?
Theres no need to put people through constant tests.
I tried to make people see but I couldn’t fathom what to do next.
Things don’t have to be perfect, but it is life itself.
Maybe that’s why I’m usually cautious and now I’m starting to dwell.
So what’s the next plan? I don’t know what to do next.
It’s not all up to me but I’m sick of people’s *******.
So as I hope no one else has to suffer like me.
I’ll just hope that those who need can learn how to see.

Drowning in hate,
If only I could escape.
If I could I’d fix all of my mistakes.
To try to fix my fate.
And maybe feel happy for a change.

Let me bleed myself dry for you just one last time.
You were the one person who didn’t really make me want to hide.
But it didn’t work out, no, not this time.
So I’ll just hope my broken bones don’t get washed away by the tide.
Your smile brought joy to my all too dull world.
But I’m too naive, just a stupid little girl.
When did everything start fading away?
I guess the voices got the best of me so I was never really okay.
Your love was addicting and you were always enough.
I wish I had it in me to give you all of my love.
And although we reached our end I’ll still remember your eyes.
Warm and inviting unless I changed your mind.
And as we part ways to our unknown endeavours.
Just know I held you dearly and I’ll remember you forever.

I'm sorry I couldn't give you the best I could muster up.
I tried to give you what you needed but I didn't have enough love.
I want the best for you and I know that might be hard.
But this life is deceiving, and more than just hard.
I hope you will always learn to smile even when you feel life is too much.
But I wish I could do more because everyone will probably make it tough.
I wanted to give you the entire world.
But there's nothing left to give, and It's my death that's going to unfurl.
So I can keep hoping that you'll live your best life.
But with peoples ugly characters they might try to lead your wrists to the knife.
I know this isn't what you want to hear.
But this is what my life is and I'm sorry for bringing you my dear.
But there's always hope to get out and live.
I hope you make it, because it's the best I couldn't give.

Whatever’s going on I honestly can’t understand.
It’s petty ******* drama with your played out hands.
So what the **** is the work? What’s the master plan?
Just leave me alone I never had a chance.
I lived my life as a shadow and someone brought me out.
But you all found your way in and ended up getting me corrupted blindly so there was no doubt.
But now I’m trapped in your sequence and it’s a cycle of torment.
If that’s what being elite is then this should all lie dormant.
Does life even have meaning?
You’re all blinded with tunnel vision I truly can’t see it.
“Nymphos” fiending on corrupted lust.
Your lies make no sense and this life is so out of touch.
When will any of this satisfy any of you?
It never will cause you’re all horrendous just let me live without your played out shoes.

Left for dead.
What’s there left to do?
So misconstrued I’ve lost my shoes.
My heart is a barren wasteland.
Just let me sink my toes in the wet sand.
Forget about their plans, and this awfully crafted hand.
There’s no where left to go.
Lost my heart and soul.
I miss feeling woe.
But I’m stuck in this broken home.
There’s nothing for me here.
And everyone’s hate for me has become so clear.
So **** it all there’s no need anymore for tears.

How many days will go by, before i lose myself completely?
Everything's out of rhythm, i can't even feel my heart beating.
I just wish i could find a path to get myself back.
But it feels impossible to regain what i lack.
My being feels like it's constantly under attack.
And i can no longer stomach what i keep in my flask.
So is there any hope to find any sort of meaning that lasts?
Something tells me i'm nearing my death bed.
And these problems are taking it's toll on whatever part of me that i have left.
Am i really even me?
It's so distorted that i can barely see.
I'm slowly losing my sanity, and now i can see that the problem was never only me.

When will this lifetime of suffering end?
Sometimes it seems good but still nothing ever ends.
They give me a break just to go back at it again.
I guess this is why with none of this going on I’ll never make amends.
Why is this all crashing down and rearranging?
It’s always me whose changing.
Why can’t I just figure out who the hell I am?
But the masquerade never really seems to stop so I guess I know where I stand.
What’s with all of these demented plans?
It wasn’t me who set out all of these bad hands.
I can’t escape the torment and my life feels hell sent.
so why are people so horrible and crude.
My whole existence is so misconstrued.
I guess that’s why I never know what to do.
If only I could figure out who I truly am so I can find my shoes.

I'm a lifeless puppet, and the petty masquerade loves it.
******* all to hell.
I'll never get out of this shell.
I don't care if I dwell.
But it would be best if you'd never delve.
In these remaining days, I wish I could turn the page.
But I'm nowhere near sane.
And there isn't many other ways to get away.
**** anyone who thinks I want them near.
Because its nothing that I hold dear.
I'd rather wallow in my fear.
While you people sit there in vain to mess up my fate.
So its no wonder this is life.
**** it all pass me the knife.

There is no amount of suffering any of you could endure, for dragging me through life while wanting nothing but the worst.
How long have you had senseless hate in your eyes?
My existence is petty slavery always leading to my demise.
If I could make you all rot and consecutively burn, for as long as you’ve all desecrated my life and any self worth.
I’d do it without hesitation for every hour, minute and second you’ve strung me along as your puppet like witness.
All I can see is petty lies stemming from hate.
But there was never any real reason until you all filled my eyes up with the very same hate.

The end is nigh, let my body get scraped away.
This lifeless vessel has ran out of ways to stay sane.
There's not enough blood or guts to help me be free.
I'm going crazy with this sanity, just let me bleed to see.
But when my body has drained out, don't remember me
All you people ever did was cause a life of misery for your selfish plans filled with greed.

The days go by and I can't rid you people from my life.
My wrists so desperately need the sting of the knife.
Before you people think about engulfing someone's being, why don't you think about the life they may be leading.
The only person for whom I'll ever be grieving is my precious daughter ava who you people won't keep breathing.
It's one burden after another.
It leaves me so ******* smothered.
You people never give it a rest.
So I guess this was the final test.
It should be off with all of your heads.
But this time just let me carry out my death.

The days are blurring together, and i know i'll never find my favourite sweater.
The nights are becoming eerie with shades of black dancing with shadows.
What hides in the darkness?
Am i becoming more heartless?
I know i'm running out of time, and i can't stop thinking about my demise.
But the masquerade won the game, and i'm too weak too play this stupid game.
I know i won't make it another day.
I wish i could have changed my fate.
But this is it and i know nothing will ever change.

All of these stories are flowing, how could it ever get boring?
I'm feeling like i can't see any of this me enduring.
But how will i stop the worry?
I don't know who to turn to, so where do i find some new shoes?
Maybe i can find it in me to figure out all of these clues.
If only i had it in me to grow, i wouldn't mind feeling mostly sorrow.
And maybe it's not that fact that i don't, i just have too much hope.
These feelings are fleeting and i've been stuck on mending.
It may not be worse than i think but i'm so done with pretending.
That these games are all that it seems, but i know that they're not.
Looking at the motions i'm far from distraught.
So where am i headed now with my eyes strung with hope?
I'm ready to start trying harder and not tie the noose around my throat.
But everything changes so far from what i had in mind,
I feel like i'm doing mostly nothing but wasting precious time.
So in these passing days i'll try to give all that i've got.
And try in the meantime feel less than distraught.

Maybe love was never meant for us.
If you can’t love someone’s flaws, you could never love them entirely.
And maybe that’s what ****** me up so much.
Maybe I was hoping that you could start to love me whole.
Was it ever love?
I was consumed by you and wanted to pour my feelings into your heart.
I always knew that time would tear us apart.
And maybe that’s why I’m still in the dark.

Everything is vain.
There's nothing more than hate.
No one is sane.
Belligerence seems Ike the only game people play.
So what will unfold in this merciless plot?
Switching your game up leaves you nothing but distraught.
There is no value anywhere I look.
Everything is gone, I was just an open book.
So while you rearrange my life for another countless time,
I'll wonder how I barely even have it in me to rhyme.

What happened to the good things?
The little things?
The better things?
I'm losing it.
It doesn't matter where I sit.
Enemies surround me.
And there will never be a key.
I have no hope to find my way home.
My being turned to stone.
And I guess I'm forever wandering alone.

You stumbled back into my life and it felt like old times.
Maybe the beginning was a little rocky but it was nice to see you smile.
But my life is like a scale, always weighing down to one side.
And now I’m left fearing my demise.
If I had one wish I would get my soul back.
And try to gain all the things I lack.
So in these passing days I’ll try to feel alive,
And try not to think about my lack of time.
I guess all I can do is live in the moment,
as I try to be a better poet.

I guess the road is nearing the end.
Its a shame that my life was mostly pretend.
I guess it doesn't matter that I didn't get to mend.
No matter how brutal my demise. ill be thankful for those who lent a helping hand.

I guess i should just embrace the hate emanating from me and towards me.
I guess the problem wasn't that i couldn't see.
It was probably the fact that everyone liked me losing my sanity.
When will my time be up?
I've had it with this ******* and i'm sure everyone else has also had enough.
I'm so ******* sick of calling everyone's bluffs.
Because it's so clear to me that nothing to anyone will ever be enough.

So tear my chest open and see if I have a heart worth saving. People come and people go, always changing their mask.
Are they wearing one? I know you took yours off and burned it in the wreckage of your old self. But who is this new you?
What are you hiding now? Is it the loneliness that keeps finding it's way back? Or the brokenness that never ceases to appear when times get tough.
Well if what you're looking for is real, peer into my eyes, into my soul. Tell me who you see. I can't tell if it's even me.
So as I make my way through the wreckage of my life, I only hope to find the pieces that make me whole. And maybe, if I'm lucky, a soul worth sticking around for.

When life is conspiring against you how do you figure it out?
Things have changed too much and now you're filled with doubt.
When they take everything that made you who you are, how do you get out and find a fresh start?
But life keeps knocking you down,
And you've lost all of your heart.
So why don't I just take that final leap?
There's nothing in this world that I could ever keep.
Sometimes it's worse than it seems.
So I try to hide in my dreams.
But there's nothing left in this life for me.
No hope to find a key.
So I guess in the time I have left I'll try not to be such a mess.
As I try to deal with all of this distress.
As I try to prolong tying the noose around my neck.

When you lose the ability to feel,
You wonder if you're losing yourself.
Will you survive the drought?
I know you're sitting here filled with doubt,
But do you have the strength to overcome?
I think i'm mostly numb.
And most times i come off as dumb.
But when it's hard to decipher your thoughts,
It's hard to leave everything you've fought.
So how do you find the truest version of you?
I know you don't want to continue,
Because they keep changing your shoes.
So how do you get yourself back?
It's everything that you lack.
How can you survive based on all of the lies?
Where do you go where you don't need a noose around your throat?
Just try not to choke on all of the lies along with their disguise.
And try to find yourself while you hope you won't run out of time.

In the beginning I couldn’t mask the screams.
And ever since my life has been falling apart at the seams.
They say nothing in this life is ever as it seems.
But in these shoes you can only dream.
Everything smashed below my feet.
As the pieces kept slowly being taken away and switched but I still couldn’t be free.
Why was I so focused on finding a key?
I can’t even be myself, who would ever want someone like me.
As I kept drowning the melancholy and despair,
I didn’t notice that the fight was always unfair.
But little did they know I knew nothing about the fight, I just found it hard to sleep through the night.
I became overmedicated on pills and whatever I could stomach.
But the masquerade never stopped, they somehow love it.
So as the years went by everything started melting together.
Friends came and went but the only thing that remained were these typed out letters.
Fighting for so long to just be okay.
I never realized why no one ever stayed.
This hoax of a life kept in a cage.
Minute by minute, the good got ****** away.
So now I’m a shell that’s nothing like who I was before,
I thought I was asking too much, they thought I was asking for more.
All I ever wanted was to live a life that’s mine.
If you’re undeserving of yourself what’s left in time?
So as I reflect on the agony of the life I used to live,
I would trade this petty tragedy in for my life back to live.

My true colours have faded away.
How do I make my great escape?
Where will I go while my shadow consumes me?
Death is coming and I don’t want to plea.
So what is it that I really need?
I just want to feel the blade and let it bleed.

And as time goes by I can only hope for someone to love.
As time runs out I can feel myself fading.
It's something that I might have trouble escaping.
As the days go by I find myself wishing I was enough.
But from what's going on I doubt I'll ever feel your touch.
So as I keep slipping away from reality, I'll just try not to think of my mortality.

All these petty games and somehow I’m not completely insane.
If I could rid this world of you people I think there would be hope for better days.
You can’t live your life feeding on the weak, reeking of havoc and greed.
I still don’t see any point to your lies and games because you people just can’t see.
If selfish hearts continue to be in control, it’s only a matter of time until something more ugly unfolds.
So what’s next in this web of lies?
Who’s next? Who’s not wearing a disguise?
So as I try not to suffer completely, I’ll try to focus less on the fact that I won’t be leaving.
But this towns disease is spreading like cancer.
I wish I could find it in me to figure out some better answers.

While you get your slaves to wait on your hand and foot, why don't you think about everything you so blatantly took.
I guess that you've admitted that you only care about yourself and no one else.
So why the **** did you have to confine me to this decaying shell?
While you glorify yourself and play the pity card  ill wonder why you always belittle others and make their lives a lot more than hard.
So I guess this is how life seems to be, **** yourself you should be the one in petty misery.

Taking a trip down memory lane.
This all feels like some sick game.
And even i'm one to blame.
For falling through the cracks, i guess everyone's more or less the same.

I've been wishing on stars for a better start.
Hoping i won't fall apart.
How do i get back the love in my heart?
I'm left with damaged lungs and i'm not very smart.

So as i think about all of my mistakes,
Wishing i could fix them and change my fate.
I'm realizing that i'm a few years too late.
So i'll try to have more than false hope, maybe then they'll let me past the gate.

While you all eat your prey, I'll wonder why I'm the feed and that's probably why I'll never be okay.
But when it's all you do there is no sadism, only idiocy.
There's no point to this mess.
Just a petty conspiracy that ties me into this mess.
So why do you people need to have so much control?
It only leads people living with a lot more than sorrow.
If only this conspiracy would end tomorrow.
But all that anyone has is really only borrowed.
So I guess that's why there's no hope for tomorrow.