Nothing feels real.
I don't know where to go.
There's no mercy in the woe.
At least there's no longer sorrow.
Why does everything seem fake?
It's me against the renegades.
I dont know why life turned out this way.
It's always on the weak they play.
And I'm so ******* sick of this life's petty games.

Heat waves, summer nights.
Another day keeping my wrists away from the knife.
Will the good ever suffice?
There's too much hate and belligerence, I need a new life.
So as I ponder about what I thought life used to be, I'll hope I don't end up in a sea of misery.

Trapped in a lifeless corpse.
With nowhere to go because I'm caged and chained.
Can't get out of you peoples selfishly ignorant and belligerent plans.
There's no hope to go on because you all forced me onto my last stand.
I'd rather rot in front of you all and make you eat the mess.
There's nothing left except for wanting to get revenge .
But no revenge would ever suffice.
Too many times I've been led to the knife.
I have no control and it's supposed to be my ******* ******* life.
I'm a slave of a puppet and all you people do is steal, cheat and lie.
So as I wait for mine and you peoples demise, I'll hope you all run out of time.
Because there was never any beauty in this horrendous tide.
You all stole away every amount of the sun that had any potential to shine.
So in these darker shades, I'll know I won't be able to turn the page.
I know I can't rearrange my fate.
But I hope it's the end of all of you peoples days.🖕

Images of you are haunting my thoughts.
**** them all I’m nothing but distraught.
Terrors from my nightmares are haunting the room.
How much longer before I’m consumed?
I guess now I want to rid you from my life.
How much longer until I reach for the knife?
Just let the warm stream flow down my arm.
But I know I’m only looking for harm.
I guess this life was never meant for me.
And there’s no way in hell you were ever the key.
I don’t even have my sanity.
So just let me fade away completely.

Somehow i'm still breathing and i don't know why.
I feel as though i'm running out of time.
Just hoping maybe someday i can call someone mine.
But something deep inside me wants me to die.
So as i sit here wishing for the storm to end,
I'll just focus on being me and trying to mend.
I don't know if i can do this, everything feels pretend.
But heaven knows it won't get better unless i'm graced with a godsend.

If everything has withered away.
What's left in my head, why isn't there another way?
I can't keep going if there's nothing left.
So **** this conspiracy you might as well put a bullet in my head.

Life is nothing but belligerence and deceit.
All that's left are everyone's slimy and bigoted feet.
So when the **** will people leave me to find my own form of peace?
******* all to hell, I'm sick of you peoples pathetically orchestrated fallacy.

Surrounded by ignorance everywhere i go.
Its your minds you've wasted, and there's nothing but foes.
I don't care where this path goes I just want my life to end.
Just be done with your pettiness, because its you people who caused my life to end.

As you people keep up this delusional web of petty nonsense.
I'll wonder why everything is so tainted, and what's with these stupid tests.
If they were never involved then what sense does this bigotry solve?
I guess I may not have been wrong.
But that doesn't mean you have full power on everything that goes on.
So as you're all blinded by your ignorance, I'll just keep hoping you all drop dead.
Because all of this despicable fuckery leaves people with mostly dread.

It never seems to end, and I’m made out to be insane.
This is ridiculous I can’t take all of these conniving games.
What is all of “this work”?
It’s leaving me disturbed.
I need to find a way out.
But there’s too much doubt.
Why do they keep going?
There’s no point to the future they’re unfolding.
Everything in my eyes is more or less chaotic.
So many people are seemingly psychotic.
The masquerade is past the point of an alliance.
There’s too much bad karma and all they do is deny it.
What’s with this facade?
It’s more than just a hoax.
It’s more of a charade, it seems everyone whose clairvoyant never stops the game.
So why is all of this past the point of fixing?
Is it only my life they’ve been nixing?
I don’t get why this is happening I just hope those who have suffered because of these renegades, find peace in a brighter shade.

Keep getting dragged down into the abyss.
I know my time is coming and i know i won't be missed.
How the **** did i end up in the middle of all of this?
This is all something of remiss.

So how do i find a better road to take?
No matter where i go i can't find an escape.
People trying to get back in but i closed the gate.
I want to trust someone, anyone.. But i feel like it's too late.
Is there anywhere left to go? Or is this just my fate?
I wish i could start over with a clean blank slate.

So as i try not to get consumed in this petty tragedy,
I'll accept that there never was and maybe never will be a key.
Maybe now i can try to regain my sanity,
As i try my best to be free.

Stuck living my life with the liars and the snakes.
I’d slit your ******* throats with the rustiest blade.
Yes I want your blood.
But it doesn’t matter because it’s all of you and I’m only one.
Nailing your eyeballs into their sockets would never suffice.
For all of this conniving *******, just to take any every single part of my life.
Well I’d tie you to a post, sawter your arms to see what hurts the most.
Only after skinning you alive, I’d get the gasoline and torch you to death for pre determining my existence only to lead me to my demise.
So does anyone deserve a life of torment?
Maybe it’s like beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but if your the ones who play god or karma or whatever the **** it is.
You people should live like the people you keep in remiss.
But no one wants to cut your ties, because it’s always your word against anyone else whose trying to change the tides.
So go ahead and keep people suffering.
It’s only a matter of time until there’s nothing left but everyone’s demise.

**** everyones belligerence.
I'll never be sane.
I'm sick of your ignorance and your petty senseless games.
You people make life hard when you were always all yo blame.
Leave people alone.
Don't keep then on your pompous page.
I know this will never end because you're entitled.
Just leave me the hell alone because you peoples always find a way to be one sided.

It seems you’ve strung together a handful of lies.
It was never me wearing a disguise.
My mind keeps me believing it was all just a beautiful lie.
But now the truth is unfolding and all I can do is hide.
You said it never happened, but the memories are real.
I guess now all I can do is forget about you and heal.

There was never room for animal instincts.
You people are ******* idiots if you think primal means everlasting.
You ******* idiots need to use your ******* ******* brains and stop thinking you're superior because you know more reverse psychology.
What did this mess cause? A means to a ******* end.
And everyone's left belligerent and brain dead.
You're all drowning in your narcissism and no one can win.
Because you're all so ******* quick to fill your selfish needs and greed and your disgustingly entitled dread.

When there is nothing of value anywhere you look.
And you ponder about the life they so blatantly took.
There's no point to living this belligerent low life.
Because people drag you down and lead you to things worse than the knife.
I can't take the torment and there's no way to stay sane.
Just let me fade into my dreams, but it's a nightmare too so ******* all for tearing my life apart at the seams.

It seems i've been smiling more in these passing days.
But i can't help but hoping that i can escape.
At least i'm beginning to remember to dream.
It makes reality a little easier on my feet.
Even if i do have mostly nightmares,
And life doesn't always seem fair.
Sometimes i'll find someone who gives me hope.
And keeps my from wanting to jump with the rope.
If only i could find someone who felt the same way.
But feelings are fleeting and always seem to find a way to escape.
Maybe i have trouble getting close.
So why do i muster up so much hope?
I don't know where i'm going or who i'll find along the way.
But i really hope i find someone who wants to stay.
Maybe then i'll finally be free.
And try to live life the way it's meant to be.

My life is a mess.
Is it just mine?
Or are there others suffering like me?
**** this petty *******.
I guess it doesn’t matter what I see.
It’s something I have a hard time trying to conceive.
Why does it always have to be about me?
I’m sure I’m not the only way who mourns this way with no will to play.
So why is life like a game?
I’m slowly going insane.
And I’m too weak to fathom the coming days.
So why can’t I escape?
I guess it’s where the masquerade and loop want me to stay.
**** why can’t things just work out.
Life isn’t a joke, there’s a reason for hope.
I guess it’s only a matter of time till I choke.
I just wish there were another way to make people see, that life could be better for everyone, and if I’m lucky maybe even me.

Life lost.
Lack of humanity.
There is no sanity.
You people are consumed with narcism and vanity.
There's nowhere to go but up.
But life is too much and I'll just get dragged further into the pit.
I have lost all mercy and don't care if there's a place to sit.
Life feels bewitched.
Can't shake the hate.
I'll never escape these harsh tides.
So don't blame me if I don't want to ever see the sun rise.

In a well orchestrated reality, how am i supposed to have the right mentality?
The end for me seems to be near.
And how i got here is becoming clear.
Who am i now that i don't wish for anyone to be near?
I guess i'll always be fragile.
If only i could learn to be a little more agile.
But now i'm stuck in this sequence.
It seems that everything is becoming my weakness.
Maybe i need someone to keep in my heart.
I guess i lied because i know love has always been the only thing keeping me from falling apart.
But everyone seems to be turning into shadows of faces i once knew.
Who knew my life would turn into such a disappointing hue?
What to do now? I really don't have a clue.
I guess i'll try to hold back the negativity as i try out these new shoes.

Maybe feeling down isn’t a shade of grey, maybe your soul is growing and you’ll find a new way.
But that doesn’t stop me from not wanting to be alone.
I think I’d shine brighter if I had another to hold.
So as I hold my memories dear.
I’ll try not to think about the fact that no one is near.
Maybe one day I’ll have galaxies behind my eyes.
But until then I’ll try to feel more love as I try not to hide.

**** your petty lives and everything you all stand for.
Life is nothing but deception, and making life a chore.
But if life let the tides change, it would be your faces that I'd rearrange.
So **** this place and every face I've known.
You people think you're doing me a favor by listening to what you all caused. But you all deserve the saw.
So in these passing days ill try to let go.
But if I had it my way, there would be seldom mercy to show.

While you all weasel your way into my being, I realize it's nothing no sane person could ever fathom seeing.
All of this ******* is hard to keep believing.
I don't understand how your cult like alliance never fails to stop.
It's been so long and I've had more than enough.
If you live your life ******* up others, then where do you stand?
Choosing peoples impossible hands should not be your master plan.
So as I realize that I could give and did give and it still wasn't enough, you people will always have the hate in my heart because you all so selfishly tore my life apart.

Why did I ever care?
No one was ever really there.
My whole existence is planned out.
That’s why no one truly cares.
And all everyone hoped was for me to stay oblivious and never find out.
I guess I’ll always be filled with doubt.
I just wish there was literally any way out.
So I guess that’s why they burdened me with all of these disorders.
It’s clear that this life has no order.
I find it sickening that life is really this ******.
I don’t care whose side they’re on cause I’ve had enough.
It’s so misconstrued when I call their bluffs.
The truth is distorted, will they ever get enough?
Why is everything about evil and greed?
Blinded by hate because no one ever sees.
Why doesn’t anyone care about all of humanity.
They say life isn’t fair but when you’re suffering you can find it hard to see.
Being unbiased has faded away, and for me there’s no hope for a brighter shade.
So **** the masquerade because they feed on the weak.
all they care about is power, evil and greed.
Maybe they don’t see, but I think they’re all corrupt.
**** it all because life has turned into a cesspool of people fiending over corrupted lust.

Living my life as a slave.
This is all so petty, what’s with all the games?
I just wish I could get out of this mess.
It’s more intricate than it seems so I guess that’s why everyone leaves.
It’s something I can’t even conceive.
So why does it seem like it never ends?
My life is falling apart and I can’t make amends.
I just hope none of this ever happens again.
There’s no hope for me because everything always feels pretend.
So I guess this is it because there are too many deadly bends.

I guess it’s better to hate and be hated, than try to make amends because no one would let me change this.
Why the **** would I crawl back to the ones who did this to me?
It’s all such a twisted cycle ran by fear and greed.
So I guess all the seeds of hate that you planted worked.
I hope everyone rots and I want it to hurt.
I used to think all of this was something never deserved.
But the majority of my existence seems like some people deserve the worst.
And I’m not golden either because I turned out this way.
But believe me when I say I will never again pray for another way.
This was the pettiest torment I’ve ever experienced.
I’d rather burn in hell or get tortured in notre dame.
I guess I was right because everyone’s the same.
******* people over until they have it their way.
Just rot in ******* hell or get tortured all the same.

What’s the point of sadistic suffering?
It’s lies that you’ve all been muttering.
You claim to be elite, it’s something I can’t conceive.
Who gets joy out of making the miserable grieve?
So as you continue to spin your web of unjust chaos, I’ll start to wonder about how much I’ve lost.
Just because you people do whatever it is to get what you want at all costs.
This is a despicable mess and what you people do is so undeniably wrong that I’d **** you to hell for the hellhole for me you’ve dug.

Day after day, I'm sick of these games.
And the way everything's manipulated so you people get your way.
So what the **** is with this charade?
It doesn't get anyone anywhere and there's too much hate just lock the gate and let me ******* escape.

Why did ****** do what he did?
My life is like a personal holocaust.
But instead of mass murders with gas, they ripped my life out of my being.
And my whole existence is so deceiving.
I can hardly ever catch a break.
Everyone involved whose doing this is so ******* fake.
How can I find anyone to trust in this mess?
I lost it all and they’re so thrilled with the torment and never really give it a rest.
So how do I rebuild? There’s nothing that’s mine inside of this vessel.
If it is someone else is using it, my life is turning into a distorted wrestle.
will I ever get myself back?
I just want to regain all the things that I lack.
But there’s almost nothing left.
I’m past just a mess.
I guess most of the time I seem fine.
But the fuckery is immense and sometimes leaves me feeling like I have to end my life.
Planted seeds of hate are all around.
And I know I’ll never get used to the sound.
I already hit the ground, the minute I got here there was no way out.
So what the **** was the point of making me their slave.
They just make me feel content so everything seems okay.
What happened to the feelings that I used to never be able to face?
I’ve been suffering for so long but instead of this fake nonsense I’d take the pain of suffering in place.
What happened to my soul?
Even that’s misconstrued and life has already taken its toll.
An existence strewn together with all of these disorders.
I was born into being stuck in a corner.
My childhood was torture, a complete living hell.
If I could just be me that would be ideal so maybe I wouldn’t really dwell.
And now it’s back to the torture because I’ll never be able to take it.
Day after day for 11 months and I can still barely face it.
What is with people who are only out to get people?
I used to be good but now I’m so unstable.
Feelings and soul are what make you, you.
Why did they go this far, there’s nothing I can even do...

With all the parasites feeding on my life, I want to end it all and let their petty torment lead their throats to the knife.
I can’t take their plans and this isn’t where I want to stand.
And with their blinded eyes and minds this makes an impossible hand. But that doesn’t stop me from wanting to demolish them for their demands. So ******* all and your selfish plans. This isn’t life. It’s a contorted hoax of you peoples corrupted hands.

Trapped in this vessel day after day, I'm so sick and tired of everyone's face.
If I could think of a way to get slain, I'd take that over you peoples belligerent and petty pain.
You're all so selfish but what's left to take?
Everything's gone and everything's at stake.
So ******* all to hell I hope it's mortifying.
I can't go a day without thinking about dying
So while you people gloat in your stolen glory, I'll just wish that you people reach your end in this God forsaken story.

To the entitled, there's no need to take from others.
Why play pity to get what you want when you can do more?
Why belittle people to "be" or feel superior.
If it wasn't yours in the first place, then you shouldn't glorify yourself in what someone else took.
Modesty is not the best policy.
There's no sense in being modest when people are watching if you're going to over glorify yourself when certain people are around.
Why make people suffer just because you want power?
Why make people live in vain for what you want your life to be?
I have no answers that you people would accept.
Why?
You people make me suffer in vain while you all bask in stolen glory, belitting others.
And I'm stuck trying to find a humane way out.
And none of anything that's happened will ever make any of this in any way; justifiable.

Sometimes death seems like it lingers.
But I just want to be free.
There’s too much working against me.
And nothing is ever as it seems.
So why do they ignore my pleas?
They took it too far and I ****** up.
So what else is falling apart at the seams?
If I could fix this mess I would do it in a heartbeat.
But I’m inept and stuck strapped down in this seat.
It’s like everything gets ripped out from under my feet.
And it gets harder everyday to be the person I feel is me.
So as I try to get out of the crossfire,
I’ll hope that things don’t get too dire.
As I try to get out of the grasp of all the thieves and liars.

My life is falling apart at the seams.
It’s much worse than anyone else perceives.
My soul once vibrant is turning cold and black.
Oh what I would give to get back all the things that I lack.
What would I have to do to fix my crumbling world.
I always had hope for something beautiful to unfurl.
But as time goes by life gets worse and worse.
I’m not sure what happened but somehow none of this hurts.
Trying to find the courage to get up and get out.
But I’m stuck in this sequence with too much doubt.
If I could find the strength to put myself back together, maybe I’d be able to change the weather.
But until I can make myself whole again, I’ll try to get my life back and never come back here again.

The days are getting longer as I’m dragging my lifeless corpse around.
What’s left in this chaos? Will there ever be a change in the sound?
I guess it’s not as bad as I think, but this petty tragedy is getting old.
**** what I would give to get back all of my soul.
The pit keeps getting deeper with illusions of getting out.
I’ve had it with this **** but I’m starting to have less doubt.
So where do I go to try to find some relief?
I’m filling up with hate and not to mention grief.
What’s the point in moving forward when I’m always being pushed back?
They’re ******* everything out of me, how do I gain what I lack?
Will I ever get it back?
So as I try to muster up any will to live I have left.
I’ll try to appreciate more the heart beating in my chest.

With so many rain clouds rolling through my mind I’m lost because you’re not trying to hide.
I guess more often than not I find myself wanting to be by your side.
So why won’t death release me from its grasp?
I think I might have found a happiness with the potential to last.
The winds may blow, but somehow for you my feelings always show.
Please don’t let go.

Acting like people are beneath you won’t get you very far.
Maybe that’s why this town is like a cult of an army, stealing things from others to reach the stars.
But you can’t go your whole life disregarding everyone else.
Just because you’re not happy with who you are doesn’t mean to contort what isn’t yours with nothing but your hate and doubts and no reasoning to what it’s for.
So as I hope people will see that misconstrued plots are no way to live, I’ll hope they stop using me as their ploy just to get to where they want to sit.
How long will this go on until they finally see, if you work on yourself first you’ll be all you’ll ever need.

Fragments of my mind, shattered and scattered in the void.
What’s going on? Do I even have a choice?
I don’t know where am going, and I’ve lost my voice.
I feel misused like an old and abandoned toy.
Is there hope to get up? I don’t know if there’s stable ground.
My life has been collapsing and I can’t get used to the sound.
So what if I could get up, and put myself back together?
Do you think I would have more than these carefully typed out letters?
I don’t know which road to take, but somehow something always goes wrong.
I guess I just need to learn to find comfort in the melodies of the songs.

The chaos never ceases to unfold.
There is no ideal mould.
Life grew too cold.
And there's seldom mercy they show.
There's nothing for me that the future holds.
So I guess that's why I'm left with just growing old.

Every path feels like it’s blocked.
All I see is smoke and mirrors.
Are there any open doors?
Or am I trapped in this cycle of suffocating suffering?
Maybe on the outside it doesn’t seem bad.
But in a sociopathic state, nothing ever really gets to you.
So how did I get this low?
I hit rock bottom and I never learned how to pick myself up.
Just fragments of a seemingly happy life.
Was this life ever a good one?
Or was it all a facade?
Just for those against me to gain what they needed?
All I see are liars, fakes and thieves.
Keeping my life an illusion while everything is falling apart at the seams.
I can’t hide in my dreams.
There’s no escape from the fear or the problems that never cease.
So why am I always stuck in a downwards spiral.
It’s not denial.
It’s a vicious cycle of fuckery.
And I can barely see or make it out to breathe.
It’s hard to conceive but it’s my life and I feel like I have nothing but me.
But do I even have myself?
I’m somewhere trapped inside this shell.
These disorders got the best of me.
Now I can’t see who I grew to be.
Everything always gets lost or stolen.
And I don’t think I’ll ever have it in me to be golden.

So i guess i'm the bad guy.
Hiding from the masquerade, they play night and day.
But when will things turn to a brighter shade?
I don't know if i'll ever be okay.
At least i'm more or less sane.
But i just want to run away.
Keep my eyes set on the skyline, not keeping track of time.
Try to live a life that's truly mine.
But is there enough time?
I've lived my life fearing my demise.
So i spend most of my time trying to break free or hide.
Well, i guess when the plot leads me into thinking i'm doomed i think i just need to see life in a different hue, but there's little hope to continue.
I just wish i knew what to do, but i can't find my shoes.

What is it like when every morning feels like a breath of fresh air?
When you’re not consumed in a fight that was always unfair?
What do you do when everyone is decieving?
I just wish I could find something, anything worth keeping.
How does it feel when you’re basking in bliss?
I don’t know if I’ll ever get a chance to feel effervescent in a kiss.
Maybe time isn’t on my side.
But I need to muster up the courage not to only hide.
I need to get away and try to live a better life.
Instead of being consumed in this petty fight of my life.

Life has it's doubts but this isn't the way it should turn out.
Maybe the conspiracy is coming to an end.
But the way things are going people need more of a godsend.
I know things took a turn for the worst, but that doesn't stop the masses from putting themselves first.
You can't live life wanting to destroy everything in sight.
Or wish to fade away into the night.
So to those who have lost, i'll wish you return.
And for the ones who got trapped, don't expect things to stand still.
Maybe things can go deeper if you will.
But that doesn't mean time has to stand still.
To each end there's a new beginning.
Life is humanity everyone deserves to be winning.

Why is life becoming so vain?
The belligerence is driving me insane.
I'm sick and tired of you people and you games.
There are other ways but you people are to entitled in your ways.
You don't have control over other people's lives.
But you do it anyway and lead them to the knife.
I desperately need to end my life.
Because you people are so petty that nothing will ever be alright.

This distorted chaotic web of lies that is somehow life sickens me.
I wish nothing but the worst for the people who did and planned this mess.
But that doesn’t stop the burdens that you people put onto others, or your snide powertripping personas. What’s left of life is a hoax. And as long as you people play god, the devil or whatever the hell it is, life will be tarnished and there will be nothing left but this stupid conspiracy that the entitled and selfish caused. So to you all, here’s one last *******.

It hurts that you want to purge me from your life.
I guess there’s no telling what I’ll do with the knife.
Something tells me you hold nothing but hate for me.
I guess this was all wrong and we were really never meant to be.
I still wish we could still communicate through our poetry.
But as far as life goes, I’m down and out and just trying to keep my sanity.

At my last end.
The lies never cease, everything's pretend.
Why did I ever care about meaning or friends?
It's clear life is belligerent and there was never hope to mend.
So in these last few moments I hope there won't be too much pain.
But I've had it with you peoples ignorance and your will to driving me completely insane.

All this time I’ve been standing alone.
I just wish I could find someone to call home.
But this life is breaking me, and I’m getting such brittle bones.

All of this feels like torment. Where do I go next? Stumbling around through this chaotic mess. Who am I now? What’s left in my chest? I just wish I could figure out where I could move next.

My being was in the middle of their wreckage.
Pried open and picked apart, and now I can barely see my own reflection.
There was never a point to any of this orchestrated mess.
Who’s being who? Why pick apart what’s underneath someone’s ribs?
So as I come to terms that this life is filled with petty misfortune with little to no order, I’ll keep wondering why everyone wants more.
It’s what you do in life that makes it count.
Not who you **** over leaving them with nothing but hate and doubt.