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Jade Lima Nov 2021
life is trash when I'm just you peoples corpse of a slave.
it doesn't matter what I do, you people only care about things that's only your way.
you daft ******* imbecillic wastes should not be everlasting.
you took every ounce of my being, why the **** am I getting dragged through the dirt but somehow standing.
so let me nail your eyeballs into your throat, for taking away any chance of finding my own home.
and torch your skin until it blisters because this is so petty it's somehow sinister.
and I hope you bleed from everywhere at once, because you not only killed me but you plan on killing everyone I may have ever had any amount of love.
******* people. life is a waste of ******* time. the only good was lost throughout time. all the horrendous excuses of daft flesh completely ripped life out of so many people's hands. and guess the **** what? most of you imbecillic wastes were never even supposed to exist. and if you were none of life would be like this. but look at that, corruption won and I'm left dragging my corpse through hell and dealing with your meaningless, valueless, senseless, useless, imbecillic and entitled ******* OVER AND ******* OVER AGAIN. and all of you ******* idiots are so ******* ******* that all you care about is taking whatever the hell you all want from whoever the hell you feel like. I'll put it this way once again, IF YOU DONT LEARN YOUR LESSON YOU DONT ******* CHANGE YOURE STILL A DAFT IMBECILLIC WASTE OF ******* DESPICABLE FLESH WHO ARE SO ******* SELFISH THAT IT. WILL. NEVER. *******. END. STOP MAKING PEOPLE ******. yeah you're all idiots. go to ******* hell. Also none of this ******* will solve any problems. you can solve what you did, you can fix the way you think, but you can't fix what you are. And by that I think you should all bite the dust. But look at that, even I will too because of you selfish entitled *****.đź–• meaning Medusa people should have never existed. The biggest mistake of the worst kind of glitch in existence.
Jade Lima Jun 2021
Life feels like a paradox, or at least like a tormented haunting.
There's no point in chasing happiness because it was probably just an illusion to begin with.
So what's left in this petty life of demented misery?
It seems that there is no value anywhere I look.
I guess I'm an open book.
But I'm stuck pondering on what would have been life if it wasn't so blatantly took.
So I guess this is it.
Petty suffering until they decide who wins.
155 · Dec 2017
Close
Jade Lima Dec 2017
It seems as though the stormy days are fading away.
I’m finding that I’m happy because it feels like you want to stay.
Your touch makes me feel like everything is going to be okay.
But I keep feeling like I can’t be what you need day after day.
I don’t know about you but you feel like the missing piece.
I just hope that whatever happens I don’t lose my sanity.
So as the days roll on I’ll keep thoughts of you close, hoping that you won’t let go as I loosen the noose around my throat.
153 · Jul 2021
What is life
Jade Lima Jul 2021
Maybe there's calm before the storm, but if there are always tides then where does the future reside?
I feel like I'm getting swept into the undertoe.
But if I find my way out, how is there so much woe?
There's seldom sorrow but mostly dispute.
How the hell is anyone supposed to end this ignorant feud?
Is it only in my eyes that everything is so misconstrued?
Or is everyone lost to the point that there might not be a need, in this, to continue?
So as I hope everything unfolds into a timely and tranquilly peaceful state,
I'll hope that there's more good to life than this sorry and menacing state.
153 · May 2019
Blame
Jade Lima May 2019
What's left of my fate?
I don't have it in me to end it and escape.
Why can i no longer take the sting of the blade?
I feel nothing but regret and shame.
Why is life a constant game?
I don't have any answers anymore, but it's not only me whose to blame.
Jade Lima Nov 2021
There no place to go.
There's no staircase.
Not down.
Not up.
Just in a ******* spiral.
It's out of ******* control.
And there's no value or sense this despicable universe holds.
Why the hell did I ever care?
I regret giving a **** because no one was ever ******* there.
So I'm the one always gasping for ******* air.
And dying consecutively because no one will ever care.
You people are undeserving ungrateful and ruthless in every sense.
You take with no regard or remorse and you give to make it seem just.
So **** the universe and almost every living being that's still here.
If anyone else comes back, they'll end up just like you vile ***** or end up gasping for fuckomg air.
So as I hope that I reach my final breath, I'll hope that I can first watch you peoples ruthlessly morbidly and brutally despicable deaths for every person you did this to and would never give it a God damm ******* rest.
Yep everyone's ****. And no one sees a single ******* ******* problem in any of their own ******* *******. Yeah. You think I ******* LIKE being like this? No. You're all ****** and you all ruined life, the universe, yourselves and everything in between. JUST LEAVE ME THW ******* ******* ******* HELL ALONE AND STOP GIVIMG ME FORCED ******* GENDER REASSIGNMENT YOU WASTES. OF. GOD. ****. *******. ******. FLESH.đź–•
152 · Jan 2018
Spiral
Jade Lima Jan 2018
These days life never seems worth it.
I’m still wandering around searching for my sense of purpose.
I don’t want to but I think I have to rid you of my life.
Either way it’s getting me no further away from the knife.
If only I could get out of this negative spiral.
But I’m still living with all of this self doubt and denial.
Will I ever find someone who will stay?
Something tells me I won’t and that’s why I’m never okay.
So I’ll still wish the best for you in whatever you decide to do.
As I break in these shoes hoping I can find the strength to find something new.
152 · May 2018
Broken And Breathing
Jade Lima May 2018
With a broken spirit and no mind left,
How am i supposed to feel the heart beating in my chest?
With emptiness flowing through my veins,
How am i supposed to appreciate the sun or the pouring rain?
Nothing but enemies everywhere i go.
And i'm stuck walking around with nothing but false hope.

There's nothing i want more than to feel as deep as the ocean.
I'm always left alone with nothing and no one and so much devotion.
But what's left to give when everyone's gone and left?
I can't feel anything deep inside my chest.
Stuck living my life as an emotionless wreck.
I'm nothing more in this world than a valueless speck.

So as the days keep passing me by in this melancholic mess.
I'll continue to try to give my life meaning, and do away with the stress.

So i'm left with an anguishing heart.
I guess the way things are going i won't fall apart.
I just wish i didn't have to go through life alone.
All of this is making me turn to stone.

So as i keep searching for a lasting love.
I'll try to rid my life of the meaningless encounters i'm starting to get sick of.
Jade Lima Nov 2021
Cold and alone went to I want to break your ******* bones.
I knew I needed a home but why the hell did I ever let anyone come close?
My mind is infestedwith morbidity and suffering.
My being is breaking and nothing can fix the hellfire you people continuously put me through.
So what's with the lies and deceit?
And every single one of you peoples slimy disgusting feet.
Don't ******* act like you care, when I was always the one gasping for a fresher breath of air.
So ******* all and all of the nightmares through hell you've caused me to go through.
It's no wonder it's a means to an end because you people are so ******* greedy you put everyone else on their death beds.
151 · Jul 2018
Strife
Jade Lima Jul 2018
Been running away for most of my life,
Always turning back to feeling the blade of the knife.
Getting older is making me grow colder.
No one to turn to but my own lonely shoulder.
But somehow none of it seems that bad.
Maybe it is and that's why nothing ever lasts.
I don't know where i'm going but i hope i get there soon.
Maybe if i'm lucky i'll find a hand to hold onto.
But i can never hold onto the same shoes.
And maybe that's why i'm always searching for clues.
But i'm finding that i'm running out of hope to continue.
And lately i've been mostly numb.
To death will i succumb?
I always feel like it follows me around.
Maybe that's why i feel safer in a crowd.
But what is life if you have no real connections?
I guess i need to figure out a way to change the direction.
Maybe it's all about the perception.
But until i find a way to feel better about my disarranged life.
I'll try my best to have hope and get rid of this strife.
151 · Apr 2019
Alliance
Jade Lima Apr 2019
It seems the masquerade has turned into an alliance.
Is there hope for a better day? They’ll always deny it.
I need to escape their slimy grasp.
And find any kind of happiness with the potential to last.
But things are crashing down right before my eyes.
All that’s left are their disguises and lies.
So as I try to get out of the crossfire, I’ll hope that things don’t get too dire.
As I hope my time doesn’t expire.
150 · Dec 2019
Despicably sick
Jade Lima Dec 2019
How long are you people going to keep up these games?
There’s no need for anyone to play.
It’s senseless fuckery that gets worse by the day.
You people are despicably sick, is there not another way?
So as I pass my bouts of rage, I’ll try to get off of this page.
But you people are utterly insane.
Why make everything petty so it has to be your way?
150 · Aug 2019
Bleak
Jade Lima Aug 2019
The world I’m living in is fuelled by hate.
**** why can’t I find it in me to escape.
Playing favourites trapped me in this labyrinth of a maze.
Theres no point to the games they play.
Because making people suffer will never bring a good change.
So why did I let myself become someone like these renegades?
I have little to no hope for a happier shade in these blurring days.
I can’t understand why they **** out the weak because everyone deserves a life this is all so bleak.
So as I hope that people try to see life for what it is, endless opportunity.
I’ll try to see why they always make the problem me.
Because things like this drive people to insanity.
And it leaves less room for people to live the lives of their dreams.
149 · Jan 2019
Despair
Jade Lima Jan 2019
Sliding down this seemingly never ending downwards spiral, I’m just lucky I’m not in denial.
Why can’t I find something worthwhile?
My life is unfolding in a catastrophic sense.
But my mind is too slow, I’m just happy it’s starting to make sense.
So how can I crawl out of the hole they’ve been digging me?
It’s gotten so deep that there’s no light that I can see.
This life is a hoax I just want to be me.
And regain anything lost including my dignity.
148 · May 2019
Unknown
Jade Lima May 2019
Going back to the night with tears streaming down my face,
The blade didn’t work so I guess I’ll have to live out my unthinkable fate.
I want to slip into the unknown and never look back, because everyone’s eyes are filled with hate and there’s no getting anything that was ever mine back.
So as I ponder the afterlife and try to be set free, I’ll keep dragging this corpse through life as I try to regain any ounce of sanity.
148 · Sep 2017
Devotion
Jade Lima Sep 2017
No one left, nowhere to go.
I just need to get out and find a new home.
Pain comes, and just as easily goes.
I always knew i'd end up alone.
No, i don't want your pity or anyone to save me.
I just need to find myself and maybe some company.
These bones are turning bitter, just in time for winter.
If i can find my happy place, i might be fine in this space.
I'm sick of the motions, this goes almost as deep as the ocean.
Who knew i had so much devotion.
But i guess when it's your life at stake, you really can't afford to make a mistake.
**** just get me out of this place.
148 · Feb 2018
Close
Jade Lima Feb 2018
Sleepless nights get me no closer to feeling at home.
Maybe it’s cause I miss you but I know I have to stay alone.
So where is life taking me now?
All I can hope for is not to drown.
I’ll keep our memories locked away in my heart.
As I hope for neither of us to fall apart.
So as I keep wandering down these staggering roads.
I’ll hope our door doesn’t completely close.
148 · Jun 2017
The sky
Jade Lima Jun 2017
When hope comes flooding in, you can never help yourself but to drown in it.
Maybe that's what sets you up for failure.
But what is there, if not hope?
Are you just an empty vessel waiting for someone to breathe some life into your soul?
Or are you still stuck looking for all the pieces you so eagerly gave away?
My dear, if it's yourself you seek you must look within.
But what if that doesn't work?
I know you know who you are, the hard part is winning your life back.
Maybe nothing will ever seem carefree again, but you can't calm a storm if you never get wet.
I know your eyes are fixated on the stars, and with a little heart you could go far.
So keep searching for the truest version of you.
Things won't stay cloudy forever, and you deserve a clear view.
148 · Apr 2018
My Detestable Life
Jade Lima Apr 2018
My soul is filling up with hate.
Something i can never escape.
I just want to run away.
Because i know i'll never be okay.
I guess i'm a drifter, with no one to trust.
**** them all i'm done with temptation, so i'll try to rid myself of all this disgust.
It's because of them who made me unable to adjust.
I guess i always knew i would at most never end up with much.
But i guess i'm at fault too for never quite fitting into these shoes.
So what is there left to do?
There's no hope to continue.
Just a web of lies.
Well orchestrated with different options for each one of them and their disguise.
So what's left in their appalling plan?
I just need to find my way out but i don't think i can.
I'm done trying to be a better me.
There is no key, and i'm losing my sanity.
148 · Sep 2021
Done.
Jade Lima Sep 2021
Everyone's despicable.
There's no other way of looking at how life truly is.
It's not an army of misfits.
It's an army of uneducated kids.
This is vile and so is everyone involved.
Looks like it's nothing that any sane person could solve.
You people have no mind.
Just a will to get hellbent until there's no more time.
**** everyone I've ever known let alone met. Life is ******* *******. Everyone's a ******* waste of skin, trying to torture others for their own sins. **** winning. Life is literally ruined forever. You people ****** up the only good thing there is, living. Hope you're all proud of yourselves. Bigots.
Jade Lima Jan 2021
Life is a hoax.
You people are a joke.
Stop dictating my life and hiding behind your disguise.
I don't care whats to come, because life is valueless and there's no beauty in the rising sun.
I don't care who's won.
Life has nothing but deceptive narcissists ******* all im done.
146 · Jun 2018
Chaos
Jade Lima Jun 2018
Been trying so long and my dreams are shattered.
All of this makes it seem like none of this ever mattered.
So how do I get out of the pit I’m in?
This is so ****** up and I’m left with the weight of my actions and sins.
I don’t even know if I have enough love to give.
I don’t know why but without it I can’t seem to live.
So why am I stumbling through life still trying?
What’s left of my soul seems to be withering away and dying.
Where am I going? There aren’t many people I can call friends around.
At least I’m not that lonely anymore but it’s still hard to get used to the sound.
So I’ll try to stand up and make it through the chaos.
And hope that I don’t get completely lost.
146 · Sep 2019
Belligerent
Jade Lima Sep 2019
It’s like my world is burning.
And all I can do is stare blankly.
Standing in the never ending crossfire.
Of faces I’ve encountered, dropping hate like bombs with no regard to anything that they’re doing.
How can people be so senseless?
In a world of hate, will I find it in me to escape?
This place is a cesspool. It’s like an army of petty ******* renegades. Keeping up charades for their own selfish satisfaction.
Who are they to dictate the lives of others?
But with people so conniving you can never talk any sense into them, it makes them belligerent.
And I’m at a loss because they have no ******* common sense.
So as I hope things take a change into a more positive light, I’ll hope I don’t get lost in the night. And hope that someday soon things end up alright.
146 · Jun 2019
Alone
Jade Lima Jun 2019
Sit with me and let’s look at the stars.
I only hope to get back my lost heart.
Let’s watch the sunrise after being alone with the moon.
Now is not the time to let the doom consume.
Take my hand and we’ll wander into the unknown.
Maybe someday I won’t be so alone.
Jade Lima Sep 2021
So the end is nigh.
And everyone is blind.
Too many sins, there's no good place to begin.
For my daughter ava, I wish I could have been there.
You're more precious than life but I'm left gasping for air.
If I could I'd give you the best life, but my merciless days led me straight to the morgue this time.
You shine brighter than the sun, and I hope will find the best life to come.
And for those just like you I wish the same to be true.
So in these final moments I'll just think about you and my motherhood.
But dwell on the fact that this life is always misunderstood.
145 · Oct 2019
Defeated
Jade Lima Oct 2019
Defeated.
Don’t want to stop the bleeding.
Because they cover up the truth so no one conceives it.
I need to focus on leaving.
Because this life is only deceiving.
I don’t want to keep breathing.
So hand me the blade so I can stop grieving.
145 · Jun 2019
Why
Jade Lima Jun 2019
Why
Corrupted minds.
Clouded judgement.
What happened to the true things and feelings?
It’s like smog, polluting everything it comes into contact with.
What happened to purity?
Everything is meaningless.
Counterproductive.
My tainted being is no better.
But my mind wants to find a way out.
But I can’t fathom it.
At the point of being crippled or tied down and locked in a cage.
What’s the point of this labrynth of a maze?
There’s no point to these mindless games, or all of life’s charades.
What are they covering up?
Does it matter?
I’m always the odd one out.
So why the **** am I still here?
It’s clear that no one wants me here.
So as I hope they suffer for the torture they put me through, I’ll hope the ones who never got involved live the lives they deserve.
Because everything they do feels like a curse.
145 · Jun 2018
Heart
Jade Lima Jun 2018
Walking down these staggering roads.
And i'm starting to feel a little less alone.
I'm just trying to melt my heart of stone,
So maybe one day i'll have someone to hold.
But lately I've been feeling more or less cold.
But some seem to brighten my day, and I know it could never get old.
So where do I go with my eyes set on the stars?
I used to have so much love in my heart. and now i'm not sure if i'll get very far.
I guess i'll just have to deal with my cards.
As I hope and try to get back all of my lost heart.
145 · Dec 2018
Awry
Jade Lima Dec 2018
What’s going to happen next in this series of unfortunate events?
The masquerade presents:
My untimely and overweening death.
So why am I sitting here writing these words?
My existence is a hoax, haven’t you heard?
So as I accept that probably everyone will never care,
I’ll try to appreciate this last bit of air.
While they pick someone else to run into their grave.
Hopefully next time they will be saved.
144 · Dec 2017
Tide
Jade Lima Dec 2017
I know I don’t always make things easy.
But my ******* mind is so ******* deceiving.
I know you know that I don’t want to leave your side.
But my heart and mind are being flooded by the waves of the tide.
I wish things could just be easy so we could appreciate the stars.
If we both have a bit of heart I think we could get far.
I just want to get lost in your soft green eyes.
While I sit here and hope that we don’t run out of time.
144 · Jun 2019
Ploy
Jade Lima Jun 2019
I'm the worst.
It's almost like a curse.
Can i lift off the debris?
At least it's kind of getting easier to see.
How did they make every problem me?
This hellhole is getting deeper and i just want to break free.
How do people feel superior degrading those that they see fit?
I don't understand, and there's nowhere i can sit.
My time is coming and i know i won't be missed.
But if i could trade this petty tragedy in, i'd be me without the sins.
143 · Aug 2019
Moon
Jade Lima Aug 2019
As the moon waxes and wanes, I come to find that I’m sanely going insane.
143 · Sep 2019
Beauty
Jade Lima Sep 2019
If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, what happened to the beauty I can no longer see?
I can’t even fathom how it got to this degree.
If only I could learn to soak in the beauty of the world.
Will there ever be hope for anything meaningful to unfurl?
Or will I continue drifting hopelessly through this cold world?
Whatever my fate, I need to escape.
Because this vicious cycle is filled with too much hate.
143 · Jun 2019
Deception
Jade Lima Jun 2019
Hated.
So jaded.
Can’t evade it.
I wish I could escape.
But my life is a labyrinth of a maze.
It was only a matter of time till I wasn’t okay.
What’s with these games?
Deception.
No direction.
Forced suppression.
Misconstrued perceptions.
I’m lost and I don’t think I’ll ever be found.
I know I’ll never get used to the sound.
Tear off my limbs and pin me to the ground.
I’m trapped in a cage and I can’t get used to the sound.
143 · Dec 2019
Weak
Jade Lima Dec 2019
Why torment someone for so long that they’re weak at the knees?
My life is a hoax that’s always been tearing apart at the seams.
What’s with the deception?
These disorders corrupt my recollection.
But I find that I can only be, why won’t they leave this vessel? It’s clear I’m trapped and they just can’t see.
Or maybe they can but they use me for their contortion.
There has to be another way but I can’t find the notion.
So as I try to stop drowning in this mess of petty slavery, I’ll try to see more clearly until I can live my life as only me.
142 · Apr 2019
Hopelessly hopeful
Jade Lima Apr 2019
If I can’t better myself then what can I do?
Why do people have to be so blinded and misconstrued?
I need to work on myself and let my life unfold.
But they’re bitter as hell and they keep me trapped in a hell hole.
So how do I get out of the clutches of the masquerade?
I don’t know what to do because no matter what I try it gets worse by the day.
I wish there were another way.
But I can’t take this petty tragedy and I think I’m nearing the final page.
142 · Jan 2018
Score
Jade Lima Jan 2018
I was so happy to have you in my life.
But this separation cuts like a knife.
I never meant to start a losing battle.
I just wish it could have been something that we could both handle.
You saved me but I think I hurt you more.
Will there ever be a way to even the score?
142 · Aug 2018
Voiceless
Jade Lima Aug 2018
When you've lost your voice, and end up with no choice,
How do you make anything better?
I guess i should stop treating everyone as just a letter.
But when you have trouble deciphering the mess.
It's hard to figure out if there's any of yourself that you have left.
So what do i do to win back what was locked away in my chest?
I guess i should start to make my escape.
Even though i'm more or less of a disgrace.
So in the days to come i'll try to appreciate the rising sun.
And try to think less of all the questionable things i've done.
141 · Aug 2018
Fight
Jade Lima Aug 2018
Stumbling past all of life's bends.
I don't know where i'm headed i don't know if i've begun to mend.
Sometimes you need to create your own weather.
And maybe sometimes it's best to bring a sweater.
But no matter what gets thrown onto your path.
You have in you some potential to last.
So fight like hell to get out of their grasp.
And try not to make this breath your last.
141 · Jan 2018
Haunted
Jade Lima Jan 2018
Oh god what I would do to be in your arms.
Will this do any harm?
I know I can’t have you anymore.
But that doesn’t help me from changing what’s in store.
I can’t get over what I felt for you.
And it keeps me from believing from what is true.
Just know that I always wanted you.
And everyone else doesn’t seem to have a clue.
So I’ll keep you knowing that you were all I’ve ever wanted.
But I can’t help myself from feeling haunted.
141 · Apr 2019
Restart
Jade Lima Apr 2019
Find me in acid rain.
I feel nothing, no pain.
At least I seem sane.
But I’ve had it with these games.
How will I ever feel,
When the blood flowing from my veins doesn’t feel real.
Everything is so concealed.
Where is the truth?
When will I heal?
But what’s left when I can no longer handle the sting?
Of the blade carving into my skin.
Is there anything left within?
It’s not me whose condoning these sins.
So how did I end up in the middle of the fire?
There’s no hope for me, no real desires.
Except to find myself, all the fragments and shards.
But I can’t figure out how to handle these cards.
My life has been ripped apart from the heart.
I need to follow the stars and find a new place to start.
Jade Lima Jun 2021
The conspiracy never ends.
And my wrists miss the sting of the blade.
Maybe I'm not completely insane,
But I'm sick and ******* tired of everyone's games.
I'm so ******* dead and being drained of my spirit.
There's no salvation and the misery stays incoherent.
I have a death wish and I don't even fear it.
I'm done with everyone's ignorance.
Stop making me your punching bag because not even I want to hear it.
Jade Lima Sep 2021
Life is a curse, and you all started it first.
Never left alone, when the **** will I find a home?
Belligerence around every bend.
You're all so petty and morbid that no one can mend.
Life is not to be sacrificed.
If it were I'd never cease to end your lives.
Don't tarnish the pure and good hearted.
Just because you peoples good will has already departed.
I guess I'm a one person army.
But for anything that wasn't planned, by my hands to you people, I will never be sorry.
You people all deserve to rot and burn in ******* hell. Stop this belligerent and childish *******. This is life not a ******* death sentence. I'm sick of being you peoples puppet like toy. Yeah rot.
Jade Lima Nov 2021
Life is vain, people deserve to get slain.
What's with all the childish games?
And contortions life to get your way.
Everything is petty, there's no point to this mess.
You people are too greedy and conniving.
This is no way to live life.
So as I hope they have you peoples heads, and rid you all from my being and life.
I'll try to not lose all of my brain cells, from every daft ******* thing you did to everyone you people felt like putting through strife.
I hope you all get thrown into the sun. This Medusa ******* is sickening.
139 · Jul 2019
Stone
Jade Lima Jul 2019
Will I keep walking down this path alone? I can’t tell if what’s coming back to life is my heart of stone. My bones can’t withstand the cold. And I don’t know if I’ll ever find my way home.
138 · Jun 2019
Vain
Jade Lima Jun 2019
Can’t escape dying in vain.
I can’t stay the same and it’s driving me insane.
Why is life a ****** up game.
Tormenting who they “don’t like” for their own sick gain.
Nothing is ever supposed to stay the same.
Life is supposed to be a spiral not some twisted charade.
There’s no point to the ******* because they make everything seem true.
What’s the point of distorting reality.
It’s so contorted because people’s hearts or heads are filled with greed.
What happened to respect peace and harmony?
It’s like everyone forms their own alliances and it’s like some ****** up army.
So I guess that could mean it could turn into a more despicably vicious cycle.
I guess I’m not the one whose living in denial.
But I have no will to help what I can fathom.
So **** it I guess I’ll just succumb to the shadows.
138 · Mar 2019
Cynical
Jade Lima Mar 2019
As things keep unfolding I’m not liking my fate.
Why can’t all of this just be a mistake?
I’m struggling to find the beauty in life.
Only holding onto negativity and strife.
What would it take to gain what I lack?
I’m no longer myself and it’s everything that I lack.
What is it like to love yourself whole?
Enemies everywhere and I’m stuck paying the toll.
I used to ache to love the way I needed to be loved.
Now I’m emotionless and mostly numb.
**** what I would give to get myself back.
But hell knows that’s no easy task.
So as I try to be the best version of me,
I’ll try to focus less on the pettiness happening all around me.
138 · Sep 2021
Belligerent ignorance
Jade Lima Sep 2021
You people are so belligerent nothing will ever be enough.
So this time just remember that you all caused this to erupt.
Don't remember me because you're all ignorant *****.
I wish I could take the pain but if I kept going I'd never stop calling your bluffs.
So here it is, my merciless casket.
And there's the life you people took, if you hated me that much you wouldn't have it.
137 · May 2018
Courage
Jade Lima May 2018
I never wanted anyone's pity.
Maybe i was stuck in a trance for most of my life.
And maybe that's why i can't bear to take my own life.
But something in me wants to end it all.
Is it just me, or has it taken far too long for me to fall?
I don't know where i'm going and i can't take this anymore.
I'm growing too weak from carrying all this weight, how long before i get sore?
It's like i have a piece of almost everyone i've known.
And i guess it's time to reap what i've sewn.
But something tells me no one deserves a life like this.
I don't care anymore, i know i won't be missed.
So why can't i just let the abyss consume me?
I guess i just have to be strong and keep moving.
But where the hell is there left to go?
It can't be just me who hates being alone.
So i guess i'll have to muster up the courage to tie the noose around my throat.
137 · Jun 2018
Distorted
Jade Lima Jun 2018
Falling down further into the pit. It doesn't matter where i sit. No longer feeling as deep as the ocean. Losing all of my devotion. This life of mine is so distorted. And i'm losing myself as i'm becoming so contorted.
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