Maybe the path is staggering but your feelings are coming back.
Maybe you have too many doubts but it’s the rest of yourself you lack.
Maybe you’ll never find someone to hold dear.
Faces come and go, and nothing is ever clear.
Maybe you hold onto fear because it feels more like home.
But maybe you should let it go, there might still be hope.
So as I continue to walk down this road trying to melt my heart of stone, I’ll hope I find the one who chooses my hand to hold.

Maybe feeling down isn’t a shade of grey, maybe your soul is growing and you’ll find a new way.
But that doesn’t stop me from not wanting to be alone.
I think I’d shine brighter if I had another to hold.
So as I hold my memories dear.
I’ll try not to think about the fact that no one is near.
Maybe one day I’ll have galaxies behind my eyes.
But until then I’ll try to feel more love as I try not to hide.

Feelings are still fleeting. Everyone’s still deceiving. I’m trying to be me but all I can see is me leaving. I don’t give a **** anymore it’s lies that everyone’s conceiving.

My life and being is so scattered. And now I realize that nothing I do or say ever mattered. How do I escape the latter? I guess here’s to my happily never after.

How do I fix my tainted heart?
I’m wandering in the abyss somehow not falling apart.
How do I get back my lost and lonely soul?
It’s not in my fate to have someone to hold.
So as I hope life won’t take its final toll, I’ll try to enjoy what could unfold.
I know this suffering is getting old.
But it seems my fate in someone else’s hands is what’s been sold.

I guess the tides are changing cause I can no longer shed tears.
And I’m also finding new fears in the fact that my death is almost here.
So where am I headed down this rocky *****?
Things are rearranging and I’m losing hope.
Maybe I’ll never find someone to hold close.
I guess I should have long ago succumbed to the rope.

Maybe I shouldn’t have tried so hard but I honestly used to care.
Maybe the masquerade took it too far, it was a senseless petty dare.
Maybe I should have offed myself when I was begging to die in my sleep.
But maybe I should have never cared cause everyone was always against me.
Maybe it didn’t matter because I’m always trapped with this fake family.
And maybe I didn’t know that most people run off of greed.
So in these passing moments that I guess I’ll start to rot.
I’ll regret every minute I tried to help because no one ever leaves me anything but a shell filled with negative energy, so distraught.

Let me slit open your throat.
Tie your limbs together and hope you choke.
Stick pins in your eyeballs and hammer them down.
Burn you alive because you make my life a living hell.
It’s the masquerade that makes me do nothing but dwell.
I hope you start to rot because you keep me as a shell.

As I try not to think of the storm, I’ll try not to think about my being becoming so worn.
It’s a relief I’m no longer so torn.
But I can’t take the torment, what’s left in store?
Maybe I’m not golden but I still have a conscience.
Maybe I want to get up but I already lost it.
Maybe I want to breathe some life into my being, but this petty ******* makes everything hard to keep conceiving.
So as I try to pick myself up off the ground, I’ll try to find a happier sound.
Maybe I’ll find someone who wants me around.
But until then I’ll keep hiding until I’m found.

It seems the plot is still distorted.
These people must be demented because there’s no way in hell the same would be for it.
I find it hard to show truth.
But I’ve been lost for so long in the fact that my existence is so misconstrued.
So as I figure out what went wrong and where to go next,
I’ll try to regain my lost feelings in my chest.
As I hope that the plot doesn’t turn into more of a wreck.

With my being constantly rearranging, can I find it in me to make my life change?
I know In life nothing is ever as it seems, but can I please just hide in my dreams?
Because my life for too long has been falling apart at the seams.
I’m losing love and I don’t know if I’ll ever find anything I can keep.
So as I try to overcome the torment.
I’ll hope that soon all of this lies dormant.

With my eyes set on the shoreline, will I have to be worried about getting washed away in the tides?
I want to find meaning, and not have to hide.
But what I’ve been escaping is my untimely demise.
So as I wait to watch the flowers bloom, and escape the torment that took my life too soon.
I’ll hope I can find out what to do.
Until I can travel along the skyline into a brighter hue.

Petty people, petty lives, petty games.
I’m sanely going insane.
There’s no point to this *******.
It’s always my life that stays in remiss.
Why the can’t this fuckery get dismissed?
No ones life should be this hard to live.
So as I hope they stop they’re stupid little games, I’ll try to find a change of pace.
Because this isn’t a battle of wits, it’s some demented race.
I’m sick of the masquerades *******, just let me find a better place.

This whole town is worse than the plague.
I know I shouldn’t be like them but they drive me insane.
I don’t know what to do because I’m strapped on the floor.
This petty torment turned me into someone worse than what happened before.
So why are they doing the same thing over again?
I’m a product of what I hate and I can’t escape but it doesn’t matter what’s said.
So as I try to find the pieces of my fragmented being, I’ll hope that it’s truth that people start conceiving.
Because this nonsense has no logic or any common ground, I’ve lived my life through a losing battle and I still can’t get used to the sound.

Where’s your jugular I want to rip it to shreds. Start at you knee caps and tear open your heads.
I don’t care what you have planned next.
Because I hate you all so much I want the whole universe dead.

All the good got ****** away.
My mind is like a killer and I hope they all get slain.
I’d do it myself but I don’t know where they’re hiding.
I try to show truth but they always deny it.
I’m on my last stand with nothing but hate in my heart.
I don’t know where I’m headed but I know I’ll soon depart.
Why take it this far with no regard?
Who knew getting rid of the problems would be this hard.

Living my life with a lack of my true conscience.
Why don’t I have my own life, as soon as it starts I’ve already lost it.
The masquerade is a ****** up army of renegades.
They don’t care unless they want it, there’s no peace in playing these petty games.
I had it as a child, even then they ****** me up, there was never peace in whatever they played.
So I guess I’m living in my own shadow.
But it’s no longer mine, I’m on my own, it was always an unfair battle.
Who puts peoples lives in other people’s hands?
It’s all completely ****** and I always have nothing but a short hand.
So what the **** is their master plan?
If you’re that ******* bored live your own ******* life and don’t leave me on my last stand.
So until I reach the nearing final page.
I’ll try to ignore their ******* because it fills me with rage.
As I try not to feel like I’m trapped in their played out cage.

Maybe I’ve done my fair share of sins.
But it doesn’t compare to what they did.
Turning a soft heart cold.
I knew I needed to melt my heart of stone.
But I didn’t know their fuckery would have taken that toll.
At least I’m healing my broken bones.
And I don’t mind so much about being alone.
I just wish I could travel along the city line.
Get lost at the waters edge not keeping track of time.
So I’ll try not to think about the arrival of my demise.
At least I’ll still get to witness the beauty of the sunshine.

I guess I confuse hate for love.
There’s not much to say when push comes to shove.
I guess that’s why I grieved in that time.
And still fearing my untimely demise.
But I’m so ******* sick of all of the lies.
Won’t won’t they all just take off their disguise?

My untimely and brutal demise seems to be reaching its time.
At least I have you by my side.
i don’t want to fade away into the night.
But living the rest of my life is too out of sight.
I never thought things would reach this height.
But I guess I’ll have to come to terms with my life.

Maybe who you have feelings for isn’t the best bet.
At least I regained some feeling in my chest.
Love never works out for me I guess I should give it a rest.
Because no one could love a soul like me so damaged, sad and depressed.

As the moon waxes and wanes, I come to find that I’m sanely going insane.

Wandering in the dark.
I need to regain my lost heart.
Will i always be alone?
Or will i find a key that feels like home?
Whatever my fate, i know i need to escape.
Find me wandering under the stars.
Let's get lost travelling with the sunrise.
As i try not to think about my demise.

Fragments of my being keep rearranging.
Why is it always me whose changing?
If i could shake the negativity i'd feel more free.
I don't even know what it is to be truly me.
So i guess i'll try to hide in my dreams.
Because my life already fell apart at the seams.
And i'm struggling to breathe.
So as i try to regain what makes me feel whole.
I'll try not to think about my lack of soul.
As i hope i don't pay the final toll.

Pondering about love.
Is it like the stardust from above?
The heartache is coming back.
Will I find someone who isn’t wearing a mask?
I feel like I’m walking down a darker path.
But I kind of feel like I’m getting myself back.
So I guess I’ll be waiting in the dark, as I try to find a key to my heart.
Hopefully it doesn’t get too cold, just waiting for a hand to hold.

As I hope to gaze at the stars by the shoreline, I’ll hope my demise isn’t too brutal in time.
So what will it take for me to breathe in a better rhythm?
I don’t know where this path is headed but this feels like it’s filled with sadism.
I know it’s not my fate to ever find a key.
But why the **** is it so hard to find myself and be me?
I don’t understand why some people are so crude.
Maybe that’s why the truth is always so misconstrued.
So as I hope I don’t drop dead while I’m figuring out what to do, I’ll hope I can find my shoes, as I try to live in a brighter hue while I hope who I call the masquerade stops destroying what they feel isn’t true.

How do I get out of this mess?
And regain whatever feelings were mine in my chest?
The masquerade is like an army filled with hate.
Why the **** did they take it this far? There’s no way to escape.
I let them turn me into a person I swore I’d never be.
What drives people to try to lead someone into insanity?
So as I hope that I’ll break free and never return.
I’ll just watch in the distance as I hope they all burn.

Sometimes death seems like it lingers.
But I just want to be free.
There’s too much working against me.
And nothing is ever as it seems.
So why do they ignore my pleas?
They took it too far and I ****** up.
So what else is falling apart at the seams?
If I could fix this mess I would do it in a heartbeat.
But I’m inept and stuck strapped down in this seat.
It’s like everything gets ripped out from under my feet.
And it gets harder everyday to be the person I feel is me.
So as I try to get out of the crossfire,
I’ll hope that things don’t get too dire.
As I try to get out of the grasp of all the thieves and liars.

Always fearing my demise.
And now it seems I’ve reached that time.
If only I could live to see the sunshine.
But it seems that is not my fate this time.
I’m sorry.

So many paths and all of them are planned.
What do I do about every short hand?
I guess I know a little about their master plan.
But with all of their hidden agendas where the **** do I stand?
No one understands what is is to be me.
Everyone says they know me but it’s just versions that I’ve been.
So how do I find myself and regain what I lack?
I lost every part of who I was and I just want to get it back.
What was the point of planning out someone else’s life?
They should have just let me succumb to the knife.
Never truly happy cause I always lose it all.
They knew it was only a matter of time till I fall.
But I keep falling and getting trapped in this sequence.
Who the **** even lives like this?
I’m finding that there are more enemies that I never even met.
Why the **** are so many people out to get me i’m filled with regret.
Their plans were just to use me for their own sick gain.
Why use someone for power? I’m going insane.
I’m so sick of the torment and all of the lies.
I feel like so many people are wearing a disguise.
I can’t tell who I am anymore.
I have nothing to say because I’m consumed in this petty *******, I’m more or less a bore.
So how do I get away and live the rest of my life?
Something tells me I won’t get very far because I’m always left thinking about the knife.

Every path feels like it’s blocked.
All I see is smoke and mirrors.
Are there any open doors?
Or am I trapped in this cycle of suffocating suffering?
Maybe on the outside it doesn’t seem bad.
But in a sociopathic state, nothing ever really gets to you.
So how did I get this low?
I hit rock bottom and I never learned how to pick myself up.
Just fragments of a seemingly happy life.
Was this life ever a good one?
Or was it all a facade?
Just for those against me to gain what they needed?
All I see are liars, fakes and thieves.
Keeping my life an illusion while everything is falling apart at the seams.
I can’t hide in my dreams.
There’s no escape from the fear or the problems that never cease.
So why am I always stuck in a downwards spiral.
It’s not denial.
It’s a vicious cycle of fuckery.
And I can barely see or make it out to breathe.
It’s hard to conceive but it’s my life and I feel like I have nothing but me.
But do I even have myself?
I’m somewhere trapped inside this shell.
These disorders got the best of me.
Now I can’t see who I grew to be.
Everything always gets lost or stolen.
And I don’t think I’ll ever have it in me to be golden.

Will i ever find another sound in the airwaves?
This petty tragedy is driving me insane.
And i'm left wondering if there's hope for another day.
Is there another way?
Or will i be kept more so in a sociopathic state?
Most of the time i'd rather be dreaming than awake.
Because people come and go, and no one ever stays.
But what feelings are locked away deep inside?
It keeps getting stolen so i guess i should just hide.
I feel like i'll always be thinking about my demise.
Because nothing will bring my true self back, not even sunlight.
So why was i almost always unaware about the fight?
I'm so blinded by all of this that it seems like there are only enemies in sight.
So as i try to brush off the ashes of this mess.
I'll try to be happy and do away with the stress.
If only i could regain what was once locked inside my chest.
Maybe then i could find someone and be done with all of the tests.

Will I keep walking down this path alone? I can’t tell if what’s coming back to life is my heart of stone. My bones can’t withstand the cold. And I don’t know if I’ll ever find my way home.

Standing here alone. It’s breaking my bones. Will I ever find another to hold? Or will I end up cold and searching for my way home? I guess time will tell what’s in store. I just hope I find an open door.

Things seem like they’re starting to look up.
But I don’t think I’ll feel another’s touch.
I don’t think I have it in me to love.
Or make it feel like the stardust from above.
So I guess I’ll just be standing in the rain.
Trying to get up before this mess drives me insane.
At least it seems people are done with the games.
So in the meantime I’ll pick myself up off the ground.
As I try to find a happier sound.
Maybe one day someone will keep me around.
But until that time comes I’ll keep trying to be found.

Every feeling I ever feel gets washed away in the tide.
Maybe that’s why I mostly hide.
Maybe that’s why I never want to heal.
Because all I want to do is feel.
But I feel like just a shell.
And all I can do is dwell.
Just an empty heart with nothing to hold onto.
Empty eyes that see nothing but their lies.
Everyone in every disguise.
And I feel nothing.
This vessel feels like an abyss.
No chance to ever feel bliss.
Maybe that’s why my life is in remiss.
Always the enemy.
Will there ever be a friend to see?
Cast out on my own.
My once heavy heart that turned into stone, became empty and now I’m on my own.
I miss feeling woe and sorrow.
I feel like I’ll always be alone.
With no place of my own, will I ever find a place to call home.
I wish I had some place else to go.
But until I get myself back, I’ll have no good behind my eyes.
And I’ll keep wishing that people will stop believing their lies.
As I try not to drown in the mess of my life.

Where am i going?
Everything keeps changing.
I get lost in the days.
I can't tell if i'm going insane.
What will happen in these passing days?
I just want to break free, but it's something that's hard to conceive.
So why are things still so misconstrued?
I feel like i was born to lose.
I just want to find something true.
But what's there left to do?
I guess i need to figure out what to do, while i find my shoes.
As i keep my eyes along the skyline to search for a brighter hue.

Why do I try? No one ever cares. My whole existence was planned and their only answer is that “life isn’t fair” why don’t you try going through this with no way to think. I don’t care anymore this is ******* insane

It never seems to end, and I’m made out to be insane.
This is ridiculous I can’t take all of these conniving games.
What is all of “this work”?
It’s leaving me disturbed.
I need to find a way out.
But there’s too much doubt.
Why do they keep going?
There’s no point to the future they’re unfolding.
Everything in my eyes is more or less chaotic.
So many people are seemingly psychotic.
The masquerade is past the point of an alliance.
There’s too much bad karma and all they do is deny it.
What’s with this facade?
It’s more than just a hoax.
It’s more of a charade, it seems everyone whose clairvoyant never stops the game.
So why is all of this past the point of fixing?
Is it only my life they’ve been nixing?
I don’t get why this is happening I just hope those who have suffered because of these renegades, find peace in a brighter shade.

I don’t know where I am but I feel like I’m living in hell.
I don’t know what to do because nothing ever really works out.
If only I didn’t have so many doubts in myself.
Maybe then I wouldn’t always dwell.
I can’t tell if I’m more than just a shell.
But the things I see makes my life feel like I’m cursed.
I wish I could find truth so things could work.
Instead I’m left dragging my body through the dirt.
Trying to run away from the fear and the hurt.
I just wish I had my feelings and pain, feeling like who I am keeps me from going insane.
Am I stuck here? Or is there a way out?
I don’t know what I’m doing but there’s so much doubt.

Where am I going?
I’m not sure.
All around there’s nothing but closed doors.
Can I escape these demons?
Or am I trapped for good?
More is going on than I think there should.
These days I’m such a mess.
All that’s left are minuscule feelings in my chest.
At least now it seems they’re giving it a rest.
I need to regain myself and be done with the rest.

My whole being is corrupt.
Could things get any more ******?
It seems like the whole ******* universe is out to get me.
All I tried to do was work on myself and be myself but no one really ever lets me.
It’s past the point of fixing.
Everything that’s true they make worse, it’s my whole existence they’ve been nixing.
So why can I only use these typed out letters?
I’m useless and logic never works, common sense just makes them worse.
Why are people so conniving and rude.
I always had the idea of death in my head, because there’s no way to fix this or my life or existence so what the **** is the difference if I end up dead?
Why the **** is so much wrong with my being and what’s going on in my head?
They’re like a ****** up cult that pick apart your weaknesses until you have nothing left.
Weaseling their way in for their own sick gain cause they could care less about who ends up dead, how by now am I not completely insane?
It’s all a hoax, it’s turning into some morbid joke.
I feel like tying theses ***** up with rope, nail their eyeball into the socket and make them bleed out for all the torment.
But I guess I’m completely ******, because these ******* are all somehow loved.
And I’m the one whose always hated.
There’s probably no way to evade it.
I can’t even escape this cesspool of a town or get out of this twisted cycle.

Why did ****** do what he did?
My life is like a personal holocaust.
But instead of mass murders with gas, they ripped my life out of my being.
And my whole existence is so deceiving.
I can hardly ever catch a break.
Everyone involved whose doing this is so ******* fake.
How can I find anyone to trust in this mess?
I lost it all and they’re so thrilled with the torment and never really give it a rest.
So how do I rebuild? There’s nothing that’s mine inside of this vessel.
If it is someone else is using it, my life is turning into a distorted wrestle.
will I ever get myself back?
I just want to regain all the things that I lack.
But there’s almost nothing left.
I’m past just a mess.
I guess most of the time I seem fine.
But the fuckery is immense and sometimes leaves me feeling like I have to end my life.
Planted seeds of hate are all around.
And I know I’ll never get used to the sound.
I already hit the ground, the minute I got here there was no way out.
So what the **** was the point of making me their slave.
They just make me feel content so everything seems okay.
What happened to the feelings that I used to never be able to face?
I’ve been suffering for so long but instead of this fake nonsense I’d take the pain of suffering in place.
What happened to my soul?
Even that’s misconstrued and life has already taken its toll.
An existence strewn together with all of these disorders.
I was born into being stuck in a corner.
My childhood was torture, a complete living hell.
If I could just be me that would be ideal so maybe I wouldn’t really dwell.
And now it’s back to the torture because I’ll never be able to take it.
Day after day for 11 months and I can still barely face it.
What is with people who are only out to get people?
I used to be good but now I’m so unstable.
Feelings and soul are what make you, you.
Why did they go this far, there’s nothing I can even do...

My misconstrued fate left me with nothing.
Believe me when I say that when it came to the truth I was never bluffing.
They used to have so much power over me, and they’re always ******* me over.
Maybe that’s why I never had a chance.
And in the past anything that came to mind was spoken.
I’d rather be me and the way I was when I was broken.
I’m still damaged beyond repair but in a different sense.
Things are so distorted now, trust me it’s immense.
So many people weaseled their way in.
And now I’m left with my own sins.
Maybe it’s not much but I regret it all completely.
Is it fear I’m holding? Or did they really make me worse than them because I’m still breathing?
I can’t accept myself or any of this mindless nonsense.
Why do the get a thrill out of the torment?
I don’t get how people end up like this unless it’s provoked.
I just hope things start to get better because I don’t know what’s left of my hope.

Maybe I’d be happier if I could learn to love myself.
But if you don’t love who you are or your own reflection, how are you supposed to try?
I guess I’m stuck in a permanent state of changing my disguise.
Because who I am is lost and no longer mine.
I just wish I could get myself back.
But I’m inept and left with whatever’s in my flask.
This life is filled with the most meaningless tasks.
Everything got ****** away and there’s little joy cast.
How am I not more of a mess?
Nothing of mine is locked away in my chest.
I guess that’s why I can’t do away with the stress.
Because my being got torn from me and I know I can’t handle what’s next.

The days of thinking I was good enough are gone.
Will there ever be a happy song?
Why did everything go this wrong?
I’ll never love or be loved, but it’s the truth.
If only I could try to change my luck by finding my shoes.
But everything is way too misconstrued.
And I don’t know how much longer I’ll be able to continue.
So as I try to find a way to stay okay, I’ll hope that I can change my fate.
Maybe I’ll find another way to reach the stars.
Because I don’t know if I’ll ever get back all of my lost heart.

It’s like they planned my life in hell.
That’s probably why all I can do is dwell.
I’m nothing more than a ****** up shell.
Trapped somewhere in this vessel with no way out.
So why is this still going on?
Every single life I’ve ever lived was never even me.
Who the **** am I? I honestly can’t see.
It’s no wonder my life is almost always falling get apart at the seams.
Just let me sit by the ocean for better scenery.
Because all of this is so hard to conceive.
But it’s my life and I’m left strapped down with no way to break free.
I still can’t understand why life is so ******.
I can’t see it any other way, **** everyone who did this to me I’ve had way more than enough.
What’s the point of covering up the truth?
I guess that’s why I can’t find my shoes.

My life is a mess.
Is it just mine?
Or are there others suffering like me?
**** this petty *******.
I guess it doesn’t matter what I see.
It’s something I have a hard time trying to conceive.
Why does it always have to be about me?
I’m sure I’m not the only way who mourns this way with no will to play.
So why is life like a game?
I’m slowly going insane.
And I’m too weak to fathom the coming days.
So why can’t I escape?
I guess it’s where the masquerade and loop want me to stay.
**** why can’t things just work out.
Life isn’t a joke, there’s a reason for hope.
I guess it’s only a matter of time till I choke.
I just wish there were another way to make people see, that life could be better for everyone, and if I’m lucky maybe even me.

Why did I end up like this?
They ****** me over for too long and turned me into everything I swore I would never be.
Is that why they take the truth away?
It’s so misconstrued, how many others are hoping for a better day?
Why do they have to cover everything up?
It’s been long overdue that I’ve had more than enough.
So why do they keep picking everything apart?
I’m more damaged than whatever they did to my heart.
Why do they play god?
There’s no use in beating the odds.
Because they map everything out.
And give those less fortunate a harder life.
I don’t know about you but it makes me want to tear out my insides.
Would things be easier if I just gave in and took my own life?
I want to fix things but there’s seldom me left inside.
So why is everyone taking others lives into their own hands?
You can’t get rid of bad karma on other people’s hands.
So what’s with this cruel master plan?
They left me hopeless and it makes me want others to suffer less, so I guess now I have my own plans.
I don’t know what they’re doing or why.
But they make me die a little bit everyday even though I’m running out of time.
Too many people wear a disguise.
So why the **** won’t they do something of value and stop ******* with peoples lives.

Where’s the barbed wire I want to tie up your limbs, squeeze till it turns blue and slit open your wrists.
Rip out your veins and shove them in your mouth.
Rip out your tongue like you’re rotting in hell.
Nail your eyeballs into the socket, sew your lips together, cut them off and put them in your pocket.
Get a tile cutter to split apart your feet to your knees,
Get a sledgehammer to shatter your femur because you’ve already brought me to my knees.
Set you ablaze for all of this torment.
You all ****** me over before everyone was for it.
So excuse me for wanting to get revenge.
But you can’t expect to torture someone their whole existence and for them to not turn out like this.

(Directed at the masquerade or whoever the hell is out to get me. Awesome.)