Tear my chest open, there’s nothing inside.
My life has turned into a string of their lies.
No love to be found, just an empty shell.
I can’t even feel how alone I am and this feels like the worst kind of hell.
Everything gets manipulated or stolen.
And I’m trapped in this house with a family of people who will always be against me.
I just need to get away, I’m sick of this scenery.
So as I try not to focus on the fact that everyone always leaves.
I’ll try to find the pieces of who I once was because whoever I am now is their lifeless projection of me.
So as I try to be someone I can stand seeing and feeling.
Maybe I can find myself in the things they’re concealing.
But I have no will left so maybe I should find my feelings and focus on healing.

Being used never made me feel so tortured.
If only my life had some order.
But I’m locked in this nightmare of a life, and my dreams are no different.
At least in my dreams I can wake up and tell myself that it wasn’t real.
But everything in this life got stolen.
If only I had it in me to be golden.
But I’m a mistake.
This life is a never ending charade.
And I’m always too weak to play.
But I don’t want to treat life like a game.
And somehow it just gets worse by the day.
The voices never really leave.
It’s taking its toll and I don’t want to stay.
But it’s clear to me that every interaction towards me is filled with hate.
So as I try to live a life that doesn’t feel like a layer of hell, I’ll try not to dwell too much and be more than just a shell.

Plagued by the images in my head.
**** them all I’d rather be dead.
Their conniving game turned me into someone with little acceptance.
Now I’m left waiting for my death bed.
I’m losing respect for almost everyone I’ve encountered.
Slowly turning into a monster.
Why did they take it this far?
Just let me tear open my scars.
Because there’s no way in hell they’ll stop tearing me apart.

Left for dead.
What’s there left to do?
So misconstrued I’ve lost my shoes.
My heart is a barren wasteland.
Just let me sink my toes in the wet sand.
Forget about their plans, and this awfully crafted hand.
There’s no where left to go.
Lost my heart and soul.
I miss feeling woe.
But I’m stuck in this broken home.
There’s nothing for me here.
And everyone’s hate for me has become so clear.
So **** it all there’s no need anymore for tears.

Cold and alone.
I can’t withstand these brittle bones.
I have no place to go.
No friendly faces, just foes.
Why do people pretend to care?
I’m gasping for air.
Drowning in this mess.
Lost more feeling in my chest.
Is it gone for good?
I feel far less than anyone should.
I just want to escape.
As I hope for a better day.

How do you start to rebuild after sinking deeper and deeper into the hellhole of your life?
Why am i always filled to the brim with these negative emotions.
I miss feeling as deep as the ocean.
But now i'm cold and alone with no way home.
My brittle bones can't withstand the weather.
I just wish i could figure this out and try to make all of this better.
But my being is worn and tethered.
And i'm left with these typed out letters.
So as i try to regain as much of my lost heart that i can fathom,
I'll try to stop living in the shadows.
And hope to breathe some life into my lost soul, i just really wish i had somewhere to go or someone to hold.

Maybe sometimes life fills you with hope.
But i always feel like i'm going to choke.
It's like i'm walking on a tightrope.
And no place really feels like home unless i'm alone.
So how do i find some meaning to last?
I'm not ready to make this breath my last.
Maybe one day the stars will align and i won't feel like i'm running out of time.
But thoughts of my demise come creeping back in, and i feel like there's no way in hell i can ever win.
So what is it like to breathe easy and have something worthwhile?
I've been lost for so long that i can't tell if i'm in denial.
So as i try to find something that makes me feel alive.
I'll try to feel something so maybe one day i'll have it in me to thrive.