With my being so fragmented how will i ever get any part of me back.
I guess i'm starting to feel for now but i want to let the sadness win.
I don't care anymore about being around anyone because i hold no one dear.
Isolated forever, why is this life of mine so unclear.
I guess in the past i didn't understand.
And all of this petty slavery has kept me with a shorthand.
It was nice for a while when i was heard to feel like someone actually cared.
But i've more or less been alone so it felt like a breath of fresher air.
Little did i know they were mostly against me.
My feelings were robbed and i would have rather taken the agony.
Being a sociopath turned me into someone worse than them.
So why the **** am i sitting here writing again?
I don't know where i'm going but i never want to return.
Because all of this torture turned me into the absolute worst.
I guess it's something everyone knew i could never withstand.
So why can't i find any of the beauty in life because i can't take their plans.
I guess i should just wander until my last breath.
Because people are so despicable and never give it a rest.

Why give anyone the satisfaction?
It's like my whole existence is rationed.
What was really mine to begin with?
I honestly don't care anymore because i'll never be missed.
What was the point in figuring out a new way to coexist?
Why the **** did i ever care i'm always left for dead and my whole existence is in remiss.
So **** it i guess i just want to shoot myself dead.
Because a lifetime of suffering isn't worth all of these thorns in my head.

I guess i should just embrace the hate emanating from me and towards me.
I guess the problem wasn't that i couldn't see.
It was probably the fact that everyone liked me losing my sanity.
When will my time be up?
I've had it with this ******* and i'm sure everyone else has also had enough.
I'm so ******* sick of calling everyone's bluffs.
Because it's so clear to me that nothing to anyone will ever be enough.

Every now and then my eyes and heart fill with hate.
I wish i could figure out how to escape.
It's something i would never have expected.
And my one sided life is not open ended.
I'm on my way to that deathbed.
The one i've been trying to escape.
But things are so contorted that i can't get off of this forsaken page.
There is little hope for a better day.
So why am i now finding that i'm more okay in a sociopathic state?
If there were another way i would take it.
But it seems people are so conniving that they just fake it.
Why am i surrounded by this masquerade of liars, fakes and thieves.
It's subliminal slavery.
And being able to see things clearly can't even help me overcome this petty tragedy.
I just wish i could get out of this labyrinth hoax of a life.
Try to break free, and rid myself of the strife.

As the days go by, i can't figure out why i can't feel alive.
Is it because no one ever stays by my side?
I guess i spend too much time trying to hide.
Will i ever reach the sky?
Or is my being so fragmented that i'll never be able to feel?
I guess the problem isn't trying to heal.
But rather trying to get my soul back and break through the barriers of my mind.
Will i ever feel the heart beating in my chest?
Or has this melancholy gone on for too long that i can't be my best?
I guess time will tell what's in store.
I just hope i can reach the stars before everyone else closes the door.

How many days will go by, before i lose myself completely?
Everything's out of rhythm, i can't even feel my heart beating.
I just wish i could find a path to get myself back.
But it feels impossible to regain what i lack.
My being feels like it's constantly under attack.
And i can no longer stomach what i keep in my flask.
So is there any hope to find any sort of meaning that lasts?
Something tells me i'm nearing my death bed.
And these problems are taking it's toll on whatever part of me that i have left.
Am i really even me?
It's so distorted that i can barely see.
I'm slowly losing my sanity, and now i can see that the problem was never only me.