I know that I can be selfish and narcissistic and self-destructive, but underneath all that, deep down, I'm a good person.

I guess it's true that you can take things for granted because you didn't know what you had.
I'm so consumed with all the bad, and i couldn't enjoy any of the good i had.
If you change and don't realize, are you losing or are you growing?
It used to always be my feelings showing.
But now i feel mostly nothing, so numb to the touch.
To the chaos.
I'm becoming bitter.
And i can't figure out any of this.
Why does it always lead to remiss?
Things are so scattered and it's always my life that's shattered.
Can i grow into a person i can accept?
All of this is just such a mess.
I just need my lost feelings that were once in my chest.
And try to enjoy the constellations and whatever could happen next.

I feel like a stranger in my body, no organs are working in harmony.
So displaced.
I hate this place.
I've become a disgrace.
Can i turn the page?
Or will i tear my skin open in hopes of shedding everything i hate?
I think it's too late for me.
At least i still have my sanity.
But i will never find a key.
And i know the problem is me.
But there are far too many renegades working against all of this.
I can't find a way to climb out of remiss.
I guess i'll stay awake with the moon to watch the sunrise because that's the only type of bliss i won't miss.

I can't take this life anymore.
There's no way to settle the score.
I wasn't asking for much, and they **** me over so much more.
Now i'm nothing but a worthless bore.
I'm in a sociopathic state, i can't even fathom hate.
There doesn't seem like a way i could escape.
I feel like i'm tied down and locked in a cage.
I don't have any hope for a better day.
**** them all, i'm going insane.
Why can't i just move past the torment?
I guess it's cause they won't let anything lie dormant.
I want to tear my organs right out of my being.
Be done with this ******* but i'm having trouble seeing.
Why did i have to sink so low?
I'm worse than them and in this life there's nowhere else i can really go.

Hate is emanating from my distrust.
I guess it's safe to say i've had enough.
I can't overcome all of their bluffs.
So why do they keep lying?
All of this is so one sided.
How many people will suffer before they're satisfied?
I hope it's not just me who notices that they're ruining the quality of life.
But i guess if i'm the odd one out, that's why i'm filled with so much doubt.
I guess time will tell if it'll just be my demise or some way out.
I just wish i could leave and not have any of this petty fuckery to worry about.

Maybe i'm too consumed in this seemingly catastrophic mess.
What seems like life or death to me is more or less a game to them but i swear i'll never pretend.
So i guess what's left is to try to be stronger and mend.
But this kind of life is ridiculous to me and i hope this never happens to anyone again.
Maybe i'm too weak, but i say that they're blind.
By power, evil and greed all being consumed by their mind.
So is there any hope to turn my luck around?
This has been going on for too long, i just need another sound.
But with all of these hues slowly melting together, a once vibrant rhythm has turned into a darkened and tethered leather.
So as i try to find a way to bring the pieces back together,
I'll try to hold on a little longer and hope for some better weather.

I'm the worst.
It's almost like a curse.
Can i lift off the debris?
At least it's kind of getting easier to see.
How did they make every problem me?
This hellhole is getting deeper and i just want to break free.
How do people feel superior degrading those that they see fit?
I don't understand, and there's nowhere i can sit.
My time is coming and i know i won't be missed.
But if i could trade this petty tragedy in, i'd be me without the sins.