Are things looking up?
Or is it all deceiving?
Where did my feelings go?
I guess they’ll always be fleeting.
Where can I go to find more hope?
I’m not sure I know and I can’t let go.
So what’s next in this chapter of my life?
Whatever happens, I just hope I can get rid of this strife.

Laying out the pieces like some morbid puzzle,
I have nothing left I may as well be wearing a muzzle.
What is the point of going through all this trouble?
It’s a petty masquerade and I’m in the middle of the war.
Living life is becoming such a chore.
There was never a point to tainting someone’s mind body and soul, let alone their life.
So as I sit here trying to get rid of all of this strife, I’ll continue contemplating my miserable life.

Filled up with hate.
I wish I could escape.
For these horrendous feelings?
I wish I could shake them.
But this is all so deranged,
On the weak they play.
I guess it’ll always be a never ending game.
Cause all anyone does is drive me to going insane.

My whole existence is in remiss.
Is there a way to get out of this?
Always running away,
Yet my fate gets worse or if I’m lucky stays the same.
But there is no good deep inside this rib cage.
So why so many games?
The light left my eyes far too long ago.
Along with everything else strung together with hope.
So why is this the only thing people ever want to do?
You all won five years ago cause I never had it in me to continue.

So much ridicule and hate.
Why can’t I change my fate?
Is there another way?
I don’t get all of these games.
Will the masquerade ever stop?
I can’t tell by these hands on this clock.
So as I try to fix whatever I can fathom,
I’ll try to escape the shadows.

Looking back I know you never deserved that.
Why was I so awful?
You were the light in a dark room.
And I was the gloom.
I wish that wasn’t true.
But there’s nothing I can do but try to make amends.
And hope for you to find a better love than I could have ever been.

This sickness is killing me.
Why can’t this just be a bad dream?
The aching is setting in, and I’m starting to drown.
I’ve been lost for so long, will I ever be found?
It feels like I’m hidden in the depths of the ocean.
Never catching my breath, struggling to be me.
Who am I?
Can I get myself back?
There are far too many things that I lack.
So while I try to keep up with the sun,
I’ll appreciate the stars that still shine in darkness.
And try not to feel so heartless.