Drowning in hate,
If only I could escape.
If I could I’d fix all of my mistakes.
To try to fix my fate.
And maybe feel happy for a change.

Being hated my whole life.
So why do I care?
I don’t care if I succumb to the knife.
Life is too unfair.
I’m done.

Why is this my fate?
I wish I could escape.
I feel like I’m locked in a cage,
Unable to drown my woe in the pouring rain.
Somehow everything’s staying the same while getting worse by the day.
This is a sickening charade.
I’m numb to the touch.
But they can’t get enough.
If only I had more self love.

When everything seems different but somehow stays the same,
How do you find where you’re supposed to stay?
Maybe there are clues in what they talk about,
But I can’t keep living filled with so much doubt.

Too many places colliding with faults.
It’s best to take everything with a grain of salt.
Why won’t the masquerade stop at any cost?
It’s not you or me, but nothing should get lost.

In the beginning I couldn’t mask the screams.
And ever since my life has been falling apart at the seams.
They say nothing in this life is ever as it seems.
But in these shoes you can only dream.
Everything smashed below my feet.
As the pieces kept slowly being taken away and switched but I still couldn’t be free.
Why was I so focused on finding a key?
I can’t even be myself, who would ever want someone like me.
As I kept drowning the melancholy and despair,
I didn’t notice that the fight was always unfair.
But little did they know I knew nothing about the fight, I just found it hard to sleep through the night.
I became overmedicated on pills and whatever I could stomach.
But the masquerade never stopped, they somehow love it.
So as the years went by everything started melting together.
Friends came and went but the only thing that remained were these typed out letters.
Fighting for so long to just be okay.
I never realized why no one ever stayed.
This hoax of a life kept in a cage.
Minute by minute, the good got ****** away.
So now I’m a shell that’s nothing like who I was before,
I thought I was asking too much, they thought I was asking for more.
All I ever wanted was to live a life that’s mine.
If you’re undeserving of yourself what’s left in time?
So as I reflect on the agony of the life I used to live,
I would trade this petty tragedy in for my life back to live.

They turned me into a monster.
Nothing is fimiliar about my bones.
My heart is far past turning to stone.
Why is there so much woe?
So as I try to dodge their bullets that they never cease to fire,
I’ll keep trying to pick myself up, before my life gets too dire.