The blackbirds gather,
cutting a line across the sky,
dividing it in half, marking time.
The fields are full of yellow flowers
that the rain has helped escape the plow,
but it will come for them, still,
to press their headless bodies
into the ground beneath the wheels.
Through it all, the highway runs.
It could be a road to anywhere.
Instead, it beats the path to my mother's door,
the awful cushion of the familiar.
This is the life that we lead,
on this blue globe spinning in the black,
tied down to the earth, then severed from it.

When I found the door
I found the vine leaves
speaking among themselves in abundant
whispers.
My presence made them
hush their green breath,
embarrassed, the way
humans stand up, buttoning their jackets,
acting as if they were leaving anyway, as if
the conversation had ended
just before you arrived.
I liked
the glimpse I had, though,
of their obscure
gestures. I liked the sound
of such private voices. Next time
I'll move like cautious sunlight, open
the door by fractions, eavesdrop
peacefully.

We will always be alone,
We will always feel the pain,
The realization that love always fades

We will always search for change,
We will never be tame,
The animal inside lives for nothing.

We will never find the answers,
Stuck in a cycle of lonely whimpers.
The curse of the race.

High west; alone, walking with darkness,
pavement grinding itself to ruin.
Where the feet meet, the ground scowls
and I know that I have been here before
and I know that this girl would not care,
but when the last post banished its light,
when night overcomes the street,
that is when I have found my unanimity.

Though the haunt may carry itself on,
I cannot waiver; now my heart is set
it would only betray this street I walk,
this street that crumbles under my feet,
down into ruin, with my heart.
They call it transcendence,
when it is only a falsehood.

It’s almost like you don’t exist,
Your name – a hollow word.
And when I speak it, it’s as if
My mouth produced a ****.

And looking at your photograph
My eyes grow weak and weary,
One more moment and they would
Have combusted involuntarily.

Your scent is all around me still
And now with every whiff
I am compelled to shut my eyes
And jump off of a cliff.

And in my mind I hear your voice
It wakes me in my bed
And will each night until the day
I cut off my own head.

That kiss still lingers on my lips,
The last an final one,
I taste it… and then dream of poring
Acid on my tongue.

I feel you when you’re not around,
It’s worse than any pain.
To dull its sting I think I might
Just set myself aflame.

You left me and I'm over it.
I swear I have moved on!
But still it’s like you’ve been with me
Each day since you’ve been gone.

You're the one to blame but I
Should have know you be bitter….
When as revenge I removed your skin
And used it as a sweater.

I wonder 'oo and wot 'e was,
That 'Un I got so slick.
I couldn't see 'is face because
The night was 'ideous thick.
I just made out among the black
A blinkin' wedge o' white;
Then biff! I guess I got 'im crack --
The man I killed last night.

I wonder if account o' me
Some ***** will go *****,
And 'eaps o' lives will never be,
Because 'e's stark and dead?
Or if 'is missis damns the war,
And by some candle light,
Tow-headed kids are prayin' for
The Fritz I copped last night.

I wonder, 'struth, I wonder why
I 'ad that 'orful dream?
I saw up in the giddy sky
The gates o' God agleam;
I saw the gates o' 'eaven shine
Wiv everlastin' light:
And then . . . I knew that I'd got mine,
As 'e got 'is last night.

Aye, bang beyond the broodin' mists
Where spawn the mother stars,
I 'ammered wiv me ****** fists
Upon them golden bars;
I 'ammered till a devil's doubt
Fair froze me wiv affright:
To fink wot God would say about
The bloke I corpsed last night.

I 'ushed; I wilted wiv despair,
When, like a rosy flame,
I sees a angel standin' there
'Oo calls me by me name.
'E 'ad such soft, such shiny eyes;
'E 'eld 'is 'and and smiled;
And through the gates o' Paradise
'E led me like a child.

'E led me by them golden palms
Wot 'ems that jeweled street;
And seraphs was a-singin' psalms,
You've no ideer 'ow sweet;
Wiv cheroobs crowdin' closer round
Than peas is in a pod,
'E led me to a shiny mound
Where beams the throne o' God.

And then I 'ears God's werry voice:
"Bill 'agan, 'ave no fear.
Stand up and glory and rejoice
For 'im 'oo led you 'ere."
And in a nip I seemed to see:
Aye, like a flash o' light,
My angel pal I knew to be
The chap I plugged last night.

Now, I don't claim to understand --
They calls me Bonehead Bill;
They shoves a rifle in me 'and,
And show me 'ow to ****.
Me job's to risk me life and limb,
But . . . be it wrong or right,
This cross I'm makin', it's for 'im,
The cove I croaked last night.

I said that I would wait.
I put it down in words.
Even though the distance was slowly and painfully beginning to settle in,
I said I would wait.

I promised that regardless of what happened,
I’d wait,
Because somewhere, deep inside me, I knew we were worthy of it.

I returned,
Heavy bag in hand, tired eyes, heart full of hope,
But you weren’t waiting.

You stopped waiting.
You didn’t even have the courage to tell me about her.
After all our history, the years, the growing, the learning, the tears,
I thought you’d maybe wait.

But you didn’t.
You were gone before I could even touch you, smell you,
Hold you.

You didn’t wait.
And now, I sit here.  
I sit and wait,
I wait…
And wait…
But I’m not sure what I’m waiting for.

Because you were gone before I could even whisper “wait”.

How can i say this?
I hate you
I hate the way you make me feel
I hate the feelings you give me
I hate the butterflies i get when your around
I hate the beating of my heart when you hold my hand
I hate how nervous i get when you kiss me
I hate that i love you
I hate that i hate that i love you
I don't know how to say this
You truly are the hate of my life

Ever since we broke up...
I've been trying so hard...
To forget you like a bad dream...
Or to live with your memory...
I try and think I'd find someone just like you...
When I realized you're the one I really want...
And no matter how many times I can deny it...
You were the one to whom my heart belonged...