1) you know you left your favorite pair of underwear at my house, do you want to come and get them?
2) i miss you more than I miss my home
3) you're like a part of me that left and I really want that part of me back
4) you use to call me beautiful, I looked at myself in the mirror, said those words, cried softly because it wasn't your voice
5) i miss your voice running through my skin
6) remember all those times you would call me and tell me you miss me? How come you don't do that anymore?
7) i hugged this tall boy and it reminded me of how you would slouch to hug me, I smiled so widely I was as happy as I was when I was with you
8) the boy next to me smells like you
9) my brother came home and your name slipped out of his mouth or it sure seemed like
10) i miss you.
11) i saw you staring at me and when I went to smile you turned away
12) it got me sad like how when you told me you didn't like me
13) remember that time you kissed me? And you said you hope it doesn't change anything? You lied
14) it's been almost 4 months and my lips still ache your touch
15) i wish you were here
16) we were never in love but oh boy, how we could have been

j.f

You're so beautiful with the red full lips
         big curly dark hair  
                 pale white skin
how you say things
that you read from your favorite book
how you stare
                and admire
the moon when it shines in the dark

But why is it that
I can't just concentrate
at those perfect details anymore
But concentrate deeply
at those rigid wrists of yours
notice perfectly
how every horizontal cut is slowly
stopped at the end
because you were too scared to mark
another secret  

I always wonder what happened
to such a beautiful girl?
what is your story?
why is it that you grab a blade
to make gaps on your wrists
to print scars on your skin for a life time?

and I always wonder
that if you knew about
how much I thought of you

if you would stop

j.f

I don't want somebody else
knowing how your eyes seem to glow when the sun stares
to know how it feels to
           put their head on your chest and feel your calm heart beat

I don't want somebody else
who's eyes seem to glow when the sun stares
           and to lay on their chest knowing it isn't you

I don't know what i want

I don't know what will be worse either

having someone else
                                                                       or
you loving someone much more than you ever loved me

j.f

I wish I knew who you were
so I can let myself fall,
                                        fall into your invisible arms
get buried into your chest
where your blood flowing non-existent heart is at
fall asleep with the sound
of your soft voice tickling my ear

but I'm afraid of falling,
                                           falling into something
that isn't there
and what isn't there


                                  is you

j.f

They say that when
you can't sleep at night
it's because someone out
in this blind world
is thinking of you

I've noticed
you've had bags
under your eyes

I'm sorry that you haven't slept

j.f