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314 · Sep 2013
Trail of Trials
This crow, this raven,
Bird of black,
Has a back of a thousand colors,
The brightest, lightest, flightest colors,
On his back.

He flies.
314 · Dec 2013
Lapse
I remember that morning,
It was raining,
It was pouring,
It tasted like tears,
    Mostly because I was crying
    And I was bleeding
        Because I punched a wall,
Because I saw it all.

I saw how the world could stop and walls could shatter,
I saw that birds could fly backwards,
And the dictionary was not large enough to pack all the words I longed to scream at the top of my lungs into a crowd of six thousand,
I saw that a brick wall doesn’t show the stain of blood very well,
But you can always see the remnant of torn flesh on its gritty surface.

The pain of that rain,
The pain of that blood,
The pain of those tears,
    Were nothing-
        nothing compared to what was taken from me.


And here I am months later.
My hand has healed, scarred over. A pink discoloration remains.
But the only pain I still feel is in these lines,
    The only thing that’s real.

-July 20th 2013
313 · Aug 2013
Jami
Joy beyond belief,
    Angelic in every trait,
        More than I could ever hope,
            Imagining life without you hurts.
313 · Nov 2013
Morning Tea
Old sighs,
New snow,
Old pains,
New morning.

*sip
312 · Mar 2018
Charcoal.
This egg,
Growing and incubated
Has been left cold and seeking,
Grasping at any branch,
Any hand
Any heat.
310 · May 2014
Wanna.
"I just don't wanna"
Tyler said.

I guess he didn't wanna.

But Christ I could wanna.
I can wanna so hard.
How much is too much,
How much is not enough,
How close can I get,
Without stealing your breath,
How much can I tell you,
Without being see through,
What do I have to say,
How much do I have to pray,

To be with you for just a day.

-May 26th 2013
310 · Mar 2015
Human Condition
There's this sort of guilt I feel for moving on,
From straying from the past.
One day she was gone, just silence,
I didn't know how long it'd last.

I moved on, mentally, physically, emotionally,
And yet I think
About her and her voice and I think about
How she would sing.

I'm sorry I've found love,
I'm sorry I'm happy here,
I'm sorry I had to move,
I'm sorry but I'm not sorry.

It hurts, I know, but we can grow.
That's the human condition.

And I hope and pray that you can move
Past this great division.
Schism
310 · Sep 2014
{Voided}
309 · Apr 2017
Diamonds.
She stops- freezes, rather.
Her skin more pale than ever.
Her goosebumps visible on every inch of her naked body.

Her eyes seem colder, more blue.
Her ******* rising and
Lowering erratically with her searching breaths.
******* like diamonds.

Goosebumps as we touch.
Adrenaline. Hairs standing.
Every contact is a shock to the nervous system.

God, her skin is cold.
I grab the blankets and pull them up.
We kiss and warm up
Together.
And wait until the sun brings sands and green warmth.
309 · Sep 2013
Conver
I felt
A wave
A chill
Down me
Through me.

It ends
Chapter four
No more
Chapter five
Slowly alive.

Sun shines
On rain
Old rain
It heats
Goes away.

Rain.
307 · Nov 2014
Defined.
There's few things God and I have in common.
But I can think of one.

I get lost in your eyes. Figuratively.
And He got lost in your eyes. Literally.
307 · Sep 2013
Happenings are Happening
How much can I write,
Without saying too much.
307 · Feb 2018
Untitled
Little snowshoe hare
Leaving fresh tracks in the snow
Spring is on the way.
307 · Jul 2013
Friday In July
Like my guardian angel, this ghost still stalks me,
Like a long lost spirit, it still sails this sea,

And maybe it just wants some closure,
But maybe it’s just digging me far lower
    Than before.

It shows up in every **** way,
As peace goes, there’s been one day,
    When it all went away.

It was a Friday in July and I said goodbye,
But before that I kissed your sweet lips,

And for one day my ghosts were gone,
But only when we
Were alone.
When we
        Were alone.

You are my only shield now,
I hope you know you make me proud,
Cause everyday I see your face,
It sure increases my pace,
In every imaginable way.

But my ghosts they followed me,
They forced their hollowed inner-beings,
And chased me back into the ground,
Where I was forced to sound,
    For help.

Cause every now and then I see them,
In their dark wicked ways,
    On the most,
    Peculiar of days.

But I still dream of the day they saw,
That I’m far greater and even farther gone,


They went away for one day,
When we,
Were alone,
When we,
    Were alone.
306 · Jan 2014
Untitled
I can feel your nails across my fingers,
     The ripples in my hand.
I can feel your warmth across me,
     Like waves over the sand.

I can sense the goodness in your heart,
     The softness in your soul.
Every time I take a breath,
     I know you're good and whole.

But more than all, I want your love,
     Your milky white softness.
But more than all, I want your trust,
     Show me you're not flawless-
                                                                                                     You're wrong.
305 · Jun 2017
Cocaine Fairies.
I miss you
Like leopards miss trees.
Like plants miss light.
Like babies miss mothers.
Like I miss you.

I'm not even poetic about it.
It's blatant;
     It didn't have to be this way.

I started to describe you to my friends
As a gravity well
A black hole
Vantablack.

You take EVERYTHING and give nothing in return,
You became an anomaly,
You were my sun,
Then one day your
Gravity became too large,
And you became that... Thing.
Taker.

The way you treat people is unacceptable,
And this is coming from a nihilist.

You are not a bad person,
You started to become one.
Carve me, woman,
Call me a sham.
I donated my care,
I was gentleman.

You built a wall,
You stabbed me,
Ignored, abused, dedicated,
I didn't flee.

I wanted you,
Needed you, Beau,
You were not, but
I was willing to,

      *wait.
No more.
305 · Dec 2017
Y.
Y.
A lesson in denial
This insanity blanket cover,
(()) mind in constant spiral
Ignoring (()) recover
Y.

Swallowing water,
((deepthroating it rather))
(()) drowning in fishes,
They wither, they splatter,
((They try to climb ladders))
((Dumb fish))
.

Relativity doesn't
Mean to much to (())
Sinister things
And sinister (())
.

(()) swallow coal and ash
And foals and moles,
Vore (()) and gore (())
No placety of safet
Y.

No sleep no eat
No (()) no sea,
Have a seat or two or three
Welcome to insanit
Y.
305 · Nov 2013
It's always rain.
It’s always rain that falls.
Never light, never warmth.
Like the world is crying,
Maybe he feels as I do.

These things, are they caused by rain,
Or are they an effect
Of the world’s tears?

More trial and error to see.


It’s always rain.
It’s always cold.

                -Marshall,
                    11-19-13
The worst days of my life are always rainy. Always.
304 · Jan 2014
Praise thee, God of Rain.
Thou art the joy in my soul.
Washing away today's tears.
New water to clean the old.
It feels like it's been years.
304 · Aug 2013
Redesert
Caught in a sand storm,
Trying to breath in the harsh air,
My lungs meet grit,
I cough, I bleed, I gasp.

*Air.
303 · May 2014
Randomly Generated Poem.
System of crows stalk the sky. I miss naked, black, raw trees.
302 · Jan 2014
Simple Dreams
You reach a point where you dream of something so much,
One day you awake and it's there.
Right in front of you.
And it smiles and kisses you goodnight.
302 · Jul 2013
1, 20, 5, 13.
I’m Atlas,
And she is my world,
It is my duty,
It is my job,
To support her,
    Eternally.
302 · Nov 2016
Wraith
Sometimes I get stopped by trains,
It gives me time to reflect,
Am I better there or am I better here
And where can I be my best?

There's a world waiting behind these roads,
A world I may never see,
If I stay here in this town of crossing
How could I know what I could be?

The ocean stands beyond the tracks,
And my happiness is with it,
I'm one step closer to the sands
And buying myself a ticket,

But I know I won't be happy there.
I won't be happy anywhere.
Its not a place or a point or even a person,
My happiness escapes my fate
And over time it worsens.

Over time my happiness becomes my
Sorrow and then my death.
So this town of crossing may see the passing
Of one more soul named Marshall.
Because I was always my best.
302 · Dec 2017
Yarn
A spool of yarn,
Two ways to core;
The patient, kind unraveling,
Using all thread to warm;
Or
The knife.
A short path, exposing much
But sacrificing more.
301 · May 2014
The Bad Guy
He walks with no extraordinary gait,
No abnormal actions,
No external signs.

His steps sound human.
They are.

His voice sounds human.
It is.

So why does he hate himself.
Why do the charred hands within his chest scratch at the clay doll he calls a heart.
Why does he pick away at the chipping layer of lies and truths and in-betweens which coat his insides with a yellow paint.
Why does he pressure the unpressurable.
Why does he push every boundary but one.
Why is he the bad guy.

Why is his hero absent.
Where is he.
The Good Guy
301 · Aug 2017
Saturn Tattoo.
Parchment, not paper,
Some endless sentence,
We never had a period,
We never had a stop.

This daily, peaking desire
To keep writing our story,
Start the next chapter,
Put ink and blood on fiber.

You're still with me in my dreams,
And my trips.
You're still in my heart.
I can't shut up about you
And all the good. Still.

I'm a damaged vinyl record,
Playing these same verses over
And over.
But honestly,
This was my favorite part of the song.

Let's play that song
-

I could really use you in my life again.
301 · Aug 2017
Titration.
I put sunlight on my tongue.
It manifests inside of me,
Then explodes through my eyes.
I can see everything.
301 · Sep 2014
I can feel my heartbeats
301 · Sep 2013
Cariño
Thank you for not acting
On what I commanded.

Thank you for not cutting
Deeper than alive.

Thank you for.
301 · Mar 2014
Without Sound.
Azure steel bay of forgotten goodbyes,
Why did I have to lie.
Crimson glint cave of retained gifts,
Why didn’t we share a kiss.
Snowy grey crack of gathered regrets,
Why did we recess.
Go back,
Go down,
Go out.
Why did we fail.
I, the sailor,
Can’t sail in this gail,
Or rather this eye.
This still,
This stop of storm.
Stop.
300 · Apr 2014
Pewter
So gouge out my eyes and call me blind,
Paint my eyes black and call my words flat,

I am the captain of my life!
I am the ocean and the tide,
I am the boat beneath my feet,
So come sail with me,
        Sail this sea.

So grind down my fingers and tell me
          to climb!
I will fly so far away from your lies,
          No time.

Don’t tell me that life is black and white,
Cause I’ve see the reds and blues so bright,
Don’t tell me I have to stay here,
‘Cause there’s so much I fear,
        Come with me dear.

I am the master of my soul,
I fly my colors whole,
I am not afraid to see what’s next,
The future is so complex,
    But your eyes are still my objects
                    of desire.


-August 23rd 2013
I used to scream my poetry, edited this to not be so aggressive.
300 · Aug 2013
Long Wait
My existence is slowly being defined,
The lines being drawn,
    Filled in with the deepest colors
                of love.
My existence is quickly being recognized
By a being of lightning eyes,
    A joyous smile to melt the glaciers
                within me.
My existence is rather simple actually,
Quite plainly read,
    Plain to see that I am completely
                for you.
I've been gone for several days. I took a notebook with me. It's full of poems.
300 · Apr 2017
No Elephant Gods.
Giant elephant god
There's no gods in this place,
I'm burnin' up,
Pachydermin' up
Water nymph in my face
I've got nothin' to say
'Gonna stay in my place
-And eat dirt-
It works,
The worms crystalize
Vitalicize
Italicize
They fertilize

These laughing nights I cry.

No elephant gods
No turtle worlds
It hurts for sure.

For magic there's not.

Knots in my stomach
I swallow blood clots
I can't swallow this.
There's no this no that
No cat in the hat
No magic
I'm ******.

So ****** in fact
I won't ride this
Anymore.
I'm confiding this
I'm not fighting this-
This is for you.
Not for you to use
Not for me to abuse
Simply for you to choose
To let me go.

I'm going to go.
Before the first snows,
Even my heart knows
I'm going to go.

There's no magic
Tragic.
No,
I'm going to go.
299 · Mar 2014
Lustre
I just want to enjoy the comfort and ecstasy of a woman again.
This is all!
I want to make out, and feel and roll around.
To feel a tongue moving around.
To kiss a neck so gently she collapses.
This is what I want.
Sorry.
I wish this was poetic.

I lost it.
299 · Sep 2014
11
11
My scars are fading, But I don't think hers ever will.
299 · Feb 2014
Untitled
Wailing "I miss him," I miss the fabric of his hair,
The roughness of his paws, the brown in his eyes.
I miss the way he smiled and the way he loved.
I miss all of him, his breath even.

But he died.

And by god I will cry every night
To let him know
"I miss you!"
297 · Mar 2018
Drip
Drip
     Drip
       Drip
ThisDemon comes for me.

Dragging his Demon feet,
     scrrrrrrrrrrtch-. scrrrrrrrrrrrtch.*
Moving so ever slower, creeping- *CRAWLING
FOR ME.

//He's coming for me. I know it.//

A Paw so animal in nature, he's Here for ME.
one bad habit too far...

Lucifer
is*
     *Coming
Too drunk for the stupid asterisk commands in this broken website.
295 · Aug 2013
Escuchas
“I’ve heard it.”


I know.
I did not tell you to simply be discarded,
    By your precedence.
Listen to the tune I sing, scream and Love
        only slightly less than you.
295 · Sep 2013
Story 4
Beautiful brown eyes,
Beautiful brown hair,
Beautiful smile to match.

Beautiful pink lips,
Beautiful singing voice,
Beautiful soul to match.
La vie going through my feet is uncanny.
And when I can hear a gasp, a deeper breath with my lips on her chest,
And I can tell that she wants the next one to be a longer hold.

My heart beats faster, my muscles strengthen, I breath less,
Lip more.
Ambrosia.
You are the rising sun,
You are the lighthouse during the storm,
You are the fire I follow,
You are the one I call home,

You dry my rain,
You take away the pain.
Please, take away the pain.
293 · Nov 2016
For[ward]gotten
Shells I see in all of you
Shells on the outside too,
Flesh prison I've heard it called
I'm sure to you this isn't new,

The image of us is too simple,
These cages trap our earthly being
Much like the fence around a temple
There's sometimes more than what you're seeing.

But I don't see much anymore,
Not inside or out.
My *** drive is long past dead,
And much of my hope has gone south

I don't think that we are more
Than what we appear to be,
The furthest edges of our actions
Are an embodiment of our personality,

People are and always have been
Little more than animals,
We have a human drive in us
But we don't know how to handle it,

We **** and hate and **** and steal
And do all that we can,
It is within the bounds of life
To take everything in hand.

I'm sick and tired of trying.
I fought so hard for you.
This country, our world,
My brothers and sisters
I abandon the whole lot of you.

I'm leaving, mentally,
Emotionally,
And soon, physically.
You are not worth my time.

I will visit the lands of old
and make clear the separated line.
"I'm here, not there, don't beg for me
You wasted your only chance.
Everything you know and love
Will succumb to ignorance's dance."

Things around here are not better,
Nor will they ever be.
Goodbye, I'm gone, I've done my time
Try not to miss me when I leave.
293 · May 2014
Pictures
I can't control myself.
I want it.
292 · Apr 2017
Untitled
Cigarette ash and coffee stains in the veins of the threads of this white shirt.
More stains in the veins on her skirt from my vain, biological ability to pain her with my existence.
Days passing and nothing stays the same in this place.
But her and I will spend the summer days is in better places.
Sands, oceans, ponds and bikinis.
We can sit in silence or talk until my ears bleed.
I'm happy either way.
Happy these days.
I’d starve but I’m always hungry.
I’d hate if I could learn to stop loving.
I’d cut if my knife was sharp enough.
I’d create if I wasn't being destroyed.
I’d forget if I could look forward.
I’d live my day like my last but I know it isn’t.
I’d make time if I had any.

But I don’t.
And I can’t.
And I won’t.

I’d not have these feelings if I wasn’t so alone.
*But I am.
291 · Apr 2014
A New Sonnet
I can’t recall the sound of her singing,
But I could paint the shape of her soft neck.
I can’t describe the joy her being can bring,
But I feel a great sense when she says “Heck.”
Worthwhile she is for any chance I take,
She makes me feel like I have someone safe,
If I had fangs, I know she’s burn her stakes,
Between us both it’s her I would first save.

I don’t think she gets how much I care,
She takes my words and makes them beautiful,
She says she does the things I dream to dare,
I can only dream to have life so full,
To spend my days with her would be great,
I could learn how to love, forget to hate,
I think she’d show me a new side of life,
I think she’s give me a reason to try.
Honestly.
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