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341 · Jun 2014
Untitled
And for that moment, those fleeting measurements of time, He was where He wanted to be.
341 · Dec 2017
Yarn
A spool of yarn,
Two ways to core;
The patient, kind unraveling,
Using all thread to warm;
Or
The knife.
A short path, exposing much
But sacrificing more.
341 · Oct 2013
Untitled
WHAT DID I DO?
WHAT DID I DO?
I DON'T DESERVE THIS.
What did I do, I didn't hurt anyone, steal anything. I committed no sins.
For what am I being punished.

I don't understand.
341 · Sep 2014
{Voided}
338 · Jul 2013
1, 20, 5, 13.
I’m Atlas,
And she is my world,
It is my duty,
It is my job,
To support her,
    Eternally.
338 · Dec 2014
It might scar. Who knows.
If you walk through a forest, you leave footprints.
And the footprints you left is one ****** nail print,
Several long blonde hairs,
And a circulating memory.

Circulating strands,
Your passionate scratches,
That embrace.

Why didn't this happen sooner.
337 · Aug 2013
I Miss Being Safe
If I had it my way,
You’d be the topic of the day.

Your light would be omnipresent,
Kinda like heaven.
336 · Oct 2013
Yea
Yea
Let me hear you speak your 'Yea's,
Not just see you type them.
335 · Jun 2016
Bone Black
Lying naked on the bathroom floor,
It's three a.m.,
I don't know what I was searching for,
Maybe just to see you again.

I know that when I saw you, it was bliss,
God I knew that we would get along,
I knew that this was finally it, but I guess,
I guess I knew wrong.
335 · Feb 2014
Untitled
Wailing "I miss him," I miss the fabric of his hair,
The roughness of his paws, the brown in his eyes.
I miss the way he smiled and the way he loved.
I miss all of him, his breath even.

But he died.

And by god I will cry every night
To let him know
"I miss you!"
333 · Dec 2017
Untitled
I want to say I can't do it
But I can.
I know I can make it
I just wish I couldn't.
I wish it was too much
And I'd end it all.
Too healthy for my own good
Too unhealthy for the same.
332 · Sep 2014
11
11
My scars are fading, But I don't think hers ever will.
332 · Sep 2013
Conver
I felt
A wave
A chill
Down me
Through me.

It ends
Chapter four
No more
Chapter five
Slowly alive.

Sun shines
On rain
Old rain
It heats
Goes away.

Rain.
332 · Mar 2015
Human Condition
There's this sort of guilt I feel for moving on,
From straying from the past.
One day she was gone, just silence,
I didn't know how long it'd last.

I moved on, mentally, physically, emotionally,
And yet I think
About her and her voice and I think about
How she would sing.

I'm sorry I've found love,
I'm sorry I'm happy here,
I'm sorry I had to move,
I'm sorry but I'm not sorry.

It hurts, I know, but we can grow.
That's the human condition.

And I hope and pray that you can move
Past this great division.
Schism
331 · Jan 2018
King of Street
Knuckles white, steering the road to nowhere
Decidedly driving
To coffee.
Cruising familiar veins of an old city,
E-brake fishtailing every corner
He smiles.
He smiles and laughs like God herself is watching
Bobbing his head and dancing to his CDs
Alone on these streets.

I would trade it all to again feel this bliss.
Seventeen years old, king of his world,
Filling the void left by mental despair
And a wronged childhood
With women and night drives.
Ignorantly answering all of life's questions
So content with his child philosophies
And childish love,
And childish kisses,
And childish regrets.
Romanticizing the thoughts his dragons gave him,
Turning the scars on his arm into the rungs of a ladder,
Climbing up and past them,
Leaping the fences of mania,
And free falling into his insanities.

He was the king of his world,
Seventeen.
330 · Sep 2013
Like A Lump In My Throat
Like a lump in my throat,
I wanted to say I love you,
I said that goodbye,
And felt my legs ache,
Say it.
330 · May 2014
soon
Euphoria eludes descriptions.
I am uplifted, I laugh and smile and almost yell joy,
And no one knows why.
The only clue:
A box full of rocks in my room
And the ten dark marks near my neck.
I love them.
I love.
hickies.
330 · Nov 2014
Defined.
There's few things God and I have in common.
But I can think of one.

I get lost in your eyes. Figuratively.
And He got lost in your eyes. Literally.
328 · Nov 2013
Morning Tea
Old sighs,
New snow,
Old pains,
New morning.

*sip
328 · Apr 2017
Diamonds.
She stops- freezes, rather.
Her skin more pale than ever.
Her goosebumps visible on every inch of her naked body.

Her eyes seem colder, more blue.
Her ******* rising and
Lowering erratically with her searching breaths.
******* like diamonds.

Goosebumps as we touch.
Adrenaline. Hairs standing.
Every contact is a shock to the nervous system.

God, her skin is cold.
I grab the blankets and pull them up.
We kiss and warm up
Together.
And wait until the sun brings sands and green warmth.
327 · Apr 2014
A New Sonnet
I can’t recall the sound of her singing,
But I could paint the shape of her soft neck.
I can’t describe the joy her being can bring,
But I feel a great sense when she says “Heck.”
Worthwhile she is for any chance I take,
She makes me feel like I have someone safe,
If I had fangs, I know she’s burn her stakes,
Between us both it’s her I would first save.

I don’t think she gets how much I care,
She takes my words and makes them beautiful,
She says she does the things I dream to dare,
I can only dream to have life so full,
To spend my days with her would be great,
I could learn how to love, forget to hate,
I think she’d show me a new side of life,
I think she’s give me a reason to try.
Honestly.
"Hamlet with Benedict Cumberbatch. Very good. Thank you Marshall."

My heart pounds.
I repeat these lines
I smile
I hear her voice.

I hear her voice.
326 · May 2014
The Bad Guy
He walks with no extraordinary gait,
No abnormal actions,
No external signs.

His steps sound human.
They are.

His voice sounds human.
It is.

So why does he hate himself.
Why do the charred hands within his chest scratch at the clay doll he calls a heart.
Why does he pick away at the chipping layer of lies and truths and in-betweens which coat his insides with a yellow paint.
Why does he pressure the unpressurable.
Why does he push every boundary but one.
Why is he the bad guy.

Why is his hero absent.
Where is he.
The Good Guy
326 · May 2014
Pictures
I can't control myself.
I want it.
Carve me, woman,
Call me a sham.
I donated my care,
I was gentleman.

You built a wall,
You stabbed me,
Ignored, abused, dedicated,
I didn't flee.

I wanted you,
Needed you, Beau,
You were not, but
I was willing to,

      *wait.
No more.
326 · Jul 2014
I Got Some Tasty Tea.
I got some tasty tea today
All the way up North,
My Humma Connie brought me it,
And that has no worth.
325 · Nov 2016
Wraith
Sometimes I get stopped by trains,
It gives me time to reflect,
Am I better there or am I better here
And where can I be my best?

There's a world waiting behind these roads,
A world I may never see,
If I stay here in this town of crossing
How could I know what I could be?

The ocean stands beyond the tracks,
And my happiness is with it,
I'm one step closer to the sands
And buying myself a ticket,

But I know I won't be happy there.
I won't be happy anywhere.
Its not a place or a point or even a person,
My happiness escapes my fate
And over time it worsens.

Over time my happiness becomes my
Sorrow and then my death.
So this town of crossing may see the passing
Of one more soul named Marshall.
Because I was always my best.
325 · Dec 2013
Lapse
I remember that morning,
It was raining,
It was pouring,
It tasted like tears,
    Mostly because I was crying
    And I was bleeding
        Because I punched a wall,
Because I saw it all.

I saw how the world could stop and walls could shatter,
I saw that birds could fly backwards,
And the dictionary was not large enough to pack all the words I longed to scream at the top of my lungs into a crowd of six thousand,
I saw that a brick wall doesn’t show the stain of blood very well,
But you can always see the remnant of torn flesh on its gritty surface.

The pain of that rain,
The pain of that blood,
The pain of those tears,
    Were nothing-
        nothing compared to what was taken from me.


And here I am months later.
My hand has healed, scarred over. A pink discoloration remains.
But the only pain I still feel is in these lines,
    The only thing that’s real.

-July 20th 2013
325 · Apr 2017
Untitled
Cigarette ash and coffee stains in the veins of the threads of this white shirt.
More stains in the veins on her skirt from my vain, biological ability to pain her with my existence.
Days passing and nothing stays the same in this place.
But her and I will spend the summer days is in better places.
Sands, oceans, ponds and bikinis.
We can sit in silence or talk until my ears bleed.
I'm happy either way.
Happy these days.
Bloodshot** eyes and hurried words,
Keeping me awake,
But that sleep was peace,
Completely liberated,
Closure.

-May 30th 2013
323 · Nov 2013
It's always rain.
It’s always rain that falls.
Never light, never warmth.
Like the world is crying,
Maybe he feels as I do.

These things, are they caused by rain,
Or are they an effect
Of the world’s tears?

More trial and error to see.


It’s always rain.
It’s always cold.

                -Marshall,
                    11-19-13
The worst days of my life are always rainy. Always.
323 · Sep 2013
Trail of Trials
This crow, this raven,
Bird of black,
Has a back of a thousand colors,
The brightest, lightest, flightest colors,
On his back.

He flies.
And when I can hear a gasp, a deeper breath with my lips on her chest,
And I can tell that she wants the next one to be a longer hold.

My heart beats faster, my muscles strengthen, I breath less,
Lip more.
Ambrosia.
321 · May 2014
Wanna.
"I just don't wanna"
Tyler said.

I guess he didn't wanna.

But Christ I could wanna.
I can wanna so hard.
320 · Jul 2013
Friday In July
Like my guardian angel, this ghost still stalks me,
Like a long lost spirit, it still sails this sea,

And maybe it just wants some closure,
But maybe it’s just digging me far lower
    Than before.

It shows up in every **** way,
As peace goes, there’s been one day,
    When it all went away.

It was a Friday in July and I said goodbye,
But before that I kissed your sweet lips,

And for one day my ghosts were gone,
But only when we
Were alone.
When we
        Were alone.

You are my only shield now,
I hope you know you make me proud,
Cause everyday I see your face,
It sure increases my pace,
In every imaginable way.

But my ghosts they followed me,
They forced their hollowed inner-beings,
And chased me back into the ground,
Where I was forced to sound,
    For help.

Cause every now and then I see them,
In their dark wicked ways,
    On the most,
    Peculiar of days.

But I still dream of the day they saw,
That I’m far greater and even farther gone,


They went away for one day,
When we,
Were alone,
When we,
    Were alone.
319 · Sep 2014
I can feel my heartbeats
319 · Sep 2013
Cariño
Thank you for not acting
On what I commanded.

Thank you for not cutting
Deeper than alive.

Thank you for.
La vie going through my feet is uncanny.
How much is too much,
How much is not enough,
How close can I get,
Without stealing your breath,
How much can I tell you,
Without being see through,
What do I have to say,
How much do I have to pray,

To be with you for just a day.

-May 26th 2013
317 · Aug 2013
Long Wait
My existence is slowly being defined,
The lines being drawn,
    Filled in with the deepest colors
                of love.
My existence is quickly being recognized
By a being of lightning eyes,
    A joyous smile to melt the glaciers
                within me.
My existence is rather simple actually,
Quite plainly read,
    Plain to see that I am completely
                for you.
I've been gone for several days. I took a notebook with me. It's full of poems.
315 · Mar 2014
I'm Taking a Break
I’d starve but I’m always hungry.
I’d hate if I could learn to stop loving.
I’d cut if my knife was sharp enough.
I’d create if I wasn't being destroyed.
I’d forget if I could look forward.
I’d live my day like my last but I know it isn’t.
I’d make time if I had any.

But I don’t.
And I can’t.
And I won’t.

I’d not have these feelings if I wasn’t so alone.
*But I am.
313 · May 2014
Randomly Generated Poem.
System of crows stalk the sky. I miss naked, black, raw trees.
313 · Sep 2013
Happenings are Happening
How much can I write,
Without saying too much.
312 · Nov 2017
Hands
I've described myself as
A conglomerate of hands and arms
Reaching out and grabbing
At everything within reach.
Constantly reaching and searching for more,
For the answer
For comfort or love or knowledge,
Or any abuse to make me forget about
This ****** up world and my ****** up psyche.
Hands, grabbing, reaching
Never being grasped.
311 · Aug 2013
Redesert
Caught in a sand storm,
Trying to breath in the harsh air,
My lungs meet grit,
I cough, I bleed, I gasp.

*Air.
309 · Mar 2014
Without Sound.
Azure steel bay of forgotten goodbyes,
Why did I have to lie.
Crimson glint cave of retained gifts,
Why didn’t we share a kiss.
Snowy grey crack of gathered regrets,
Why did we recess.
Go back,
Go down,
Go out.
Why did we fail.
I, the sailor,
Can’t sail in this gail,
Or rather this eye.
This still,
This stop of storm.
Stop.
309 · Jan 2014
Praise thee, God of Rain.
Thou art the joy in my soul.
Washing away today's tears.
New water to clean the old.
It feels like it's been years.
309 · Jan 2014
Untitled
I can feel your nails across my fingers,
     The ripples in my hand.
I can feel your warmth across me,
     Like waves over the sand.

I can sense the goodness in your heart,
     The softness in your soul.
Every time I take a breath,
     I know you're good and whole.

But more than all, I want your love,
     Your milky white softness.
But more than all, I want your trust,
     Show me you're not flawless-
                                                                                                     You're wrong.
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