My heart weighed heavy with the decision
that I was about to make.  Here I was
standing outside in the rain...
in front of her house.

Should I or should I not?  
The question bounced
around my head like an
insane man
in a padded room.

I stuck my hands in my pocket
and brushed up against
a quarter.
A sudden strike of simple realization
I can let the universe decide.

Heads, yes. Tails, no.  Simple.

I flipped the coin, saw it spinning
carefree through the air, ready
to simplify my decision.  Every
time the coin flipped, I reflected
on what had brought me
to this point

Tails
How she smashed the dinner plate over
my head during an argument.  The way
she looked at my friend.  How she told
me she could never trust me.  She told me
she never loved me.

Heads
The way she would show up to work
in a sundress and bring me my
favorite food.  The smile that should
be framed up in the Louvre. She told me
she'd always love me

Tails
The blood staining the cold tile floor
in the bathroom.  The locked door
and the sobbing.  The sleepless night
convincing her to stop.  She said that
she didn't want to live

Heads
The way she'd sneak up and hug me
when I was cooking dinner.  The way
she'd sigh as we entwined in sheets.
How she knew my soul.  I'm sure that
she was happy.

Tails
The Lies. The uncertainty
The pent up Anger.
The lonely nights awake
The fear

Heads
The love.  The rapture.
The silly poems.
The feeling of oneness.
The happiness


The coin landed.
I didn't look at it.
I walked to her door
and I told her....

My girlfriend snores.  Loudly.
Some of the sounds that come
out of her mouth could be put
into a horror movie.

Recently, she's started snoring
in Latin.  Don't ask, I don't know.
Anyway, somehow every Tuesday

She summons a demon

At first, we were both shocked.
The Demon and I, that is. She
sleeps harder than she snores.

The Demon was apparently
just chilling down in Hell and
then Bam.

In some dude's room where
it sounded like a rather large
animal was dying.

Admittedly, it wasn't exactly
amicable at first.

Things may have been said
Objects may have been thrown
Souls may have been threatened

but....

Tuesday is now Poker night

I've walked as far as my feet can go
through deserts, oceans, and forests of rain
through tundra and mountains and  wide open plains
Searching for a way to keep you here

I have failed

I feel I've reached the end,
as my legs buckle and bend
I fall
to my knees.

This appears as good a place as any
to rest my weary eyes
I look to the sky

I lay on the soft forgiving grass
where the ground embraces me
and all of my past

At last, I am a part of something

On the spot that I existed,
a tree will grow as a testament
it will be what was best in me
branches arching and twisted

Reaching out towards the sun
To find your love

I can only hope that one day
that you'll find my tree
on a warm spring morning
and have your thoughts
turn to me

You'll sit down for a rest and
you'll wonder what happened
to that man you knew
not aware
that even now
I'm here with you,
providing you
with a tree that can shade you
from the afternoon sun

Your eyes will close as you
fall
into a mid-day slumber,
resting in my eden

and I will finally
be at peace

I want a girl who loves like spring
who's fresh and wild
and with eyes that gleam
her heart is open
her dreams are unbroken
She follows them with reckless abandon
If she lets me find her
forever we'll wander
Because life was not meant for standing

I want a girl who loves like summer
who's fiery and strong
with a heart like thunder
her presence is radiant
she emanates brilliant
her passion is hers to control
If it's me she admires
we'll succumb to desire
and bare to each other our souls

I want a girl who loves like autumn
who's sweet and caring
whose empathy blossoms
her smile is healing
her words filled with feeling
She brings me back out of the storm
If she lets me inside
the rain will subside
and together, we will be reborn

I want a girl who loves like winter
who's keen and clever
and sharp as a splinter
her brilliance is palpable
her brightness incalculable
She finds the solution to all of my woes
If she finds me worthy
I'll acquiesce humbly
we'll light our fire and take our repose

Your once silky voice
has turned to gravel
to my ears.  Your
words are sandpaper
to my self esteem

Your personality has
been eroded by
bitterness.  It
sweeps away
all that made you
interesting, a raging
river of disappointment

Your skin is cracking
to the point where
I fear that any part
of you that I touch
will crumble to
the floor.  

If this keeps up
soon you will
be nothing but
a pile of sand

Another mess
for me to sweep
under the rug

I'm off, I'm off to London town
come one, come all, let's drink a round
if you look for me here, I won't be found
Be ready, be set...I'm London bound

I feel like I'm chasing
   The shadow
      of a whisper
            of a lost memory
of a thought
    of a forgotten dream
           of the faintest glimmer of hope

What a wonderful day, this Valentine's day
When the young couples get together to say
How much they adore and cherish each other
Kisses  are  currency  for  afternoon  lovers
My only problem, and forgive me the question
Why only 24  hours  for romantic expression?

You have every day in a year to show her she's special
So choosing just one strikes me as quite artificial...

Do you care as much for her as you have portrayed?
I'm thinking not.

You just want to get laid.

one plus one is one
whenever we're together.
math teachers hate me

When you look into my eyes
can you see the starry skies?
Soaring high above the clouds
as we cut ourselves from earthly ties

With your arms about my waist
we'll leave behind this lonely place
searching for the hidden keys
to unlock the riddles of time and space

So Allons-y and Geronimo
through the unknown vale we shall go
your fingers interlaced with mine
we'll dance the stars 'til they lose their shine

Though your curves are entrancing,
I found your personality lacking

Mary, Mary...Extraordinary
look at your passion flow
With sultry stares, your lust is bared
who am I to say no?

You walk down the *****
cobblestone street
there is an old man
that you're going to meet

He has with him a paper
that contains my last wishes
It explains what to do
with my vast wealth and riches

You meander along
confused at this mystery
you see, we haven't spoke
since 2nd grade history

You enter the office
and are offered a chair
the man's tired eyes
give you a rather bored stare

He gets down to business
he hands you a key
and a card with an address
then he asks you to leave

Your curiosity wins
and you see yourself out
next thing you find yourself
in front of a house

This house is old
and decrepit and weary
hell, you'll admit it
it's just a bit scary

Taped up on the door
of this nightmarish lair
Is a note with your name
that just says "Downstairs"

Inside the house
the place looks like a wreck
as you do your best to ignore
the chills down your neck

You go down to the cellar
and you come to a halt
nothing to find
but a large metal vault

You grin with excitement
and you giggle with glee
your hand is shaking
as you put in the key

You swing open the door
and what do you find?
naught but a note
folded three times

You cautiously open it
and read it aloud
It says "Yur a dorkhead"
You furrow your brow

You haven't a clue
You turn the note in your hand
You're about to walk out
when the vault door is slammed

You scream and you shout
But try as you might
No one can hear you
that vault's sealed tight

While you sit in there rotting
just try and remember
who read that note?
Just who was the sender?

Who's the dorkhead now?

I've got that itch
that feeling
that maybe I've outgrown
my little section of map

It's time to blur the state lines
It's time to expand the boundaries
United States of whatever the hell I want.

There isn't much to it, really...

Just me and a gas pedal and a general direction

a little classic rock to keep me company

Simplicity.

Driving is so much more enjoyable
when you have nowhere else to be

Chasing the sun
Until the moon catches up

**** roads.


Bring me that horizon

We waltz about the room,
so completely unaware
of the impending doom
that is our love affair

Every step that's taken
leaves behind a crack
in our weak foundation.
We're never looking back

We deftly dance and twirl
'round the holes that we create
that are always being filled
by the things we cannot say

Our dance becomes difficult, now
as we struggle to find our rhythm
the dance floor is so much smaller, now
we begin to feel a schism

The floor is all but gone my dear,
we're standing face to face
confusion as to how we got here
to this tiny place.

The darkness of all the things
that we thought we could ignore
is silently surrounding
we're oblivious no more

I was looking so deep into your eyes
I was so thoroughly engrossed
that I didn't stop to realize
I was dancing with a ghost

I once knew a guy who walked a thousand miles

with no shoes on his feet

     to prove his love

When he got there, she turned him down

she had found someone else

while she was waiting for him



I once knew a guy who climbed the tallest mountain

with naught but his hands and his own strength

     to prove his commitment

By the time he returned, she had moved on

she was tired of waiting for him



I once knew a guy who swam 'cross the ocean

with only the breath in his lungs

     to prove his passion

            He was eaten by a shark.

Anyway...

I won't walk across great distances for you
I won't scale rugged mountains for you
I won't swim across large bodies of water for you

But I'll totally give you a back rub later if you want

I
want something.         I   w a n t
to see your smile,       your skin.  (To)   
love is not simple, but      Your beauty is.....****!
you make me crazy.        All I want is           you

In my mind exists a pit of black quicksand
where memories come to die, slowly
sinking into the deep abyss

You are in a glass box,
sliding down
staring up
begging for rescue

If I rescue you from the depths
I shatter the glass reflecting
the perfection of who I
want to remember

Leaving only reality

So the real question is

Should I forget the goddess?
Or should I remember the devil?

So focused on your beauty
   that forgetting how...make...words

Have you ever stopped and thought
about the winding path that we're along?
This labyrinth of lefts and rights
that will bring you into my arms?

Years before our lives had been cast
before our very first breaths of air
plans were made that would set our paths
on this crash course that we share

Millions of choices have been made since
that have led us to where we stand
Will it be millions...or only hundreds more
until we're hand in hand?

This army of Chinese butterflies
that patiently flap their wings
are leading us ever so much closer,
if you choose to believe in such things

I've waited for years, my love
for this maze to lead you home.
And when it does, as it surely will
I hope that you enjoy this poem

Every now and then
I'll wake up
with the sensation of not
knowing where I am

It's a very disconcerting feeling

to open your eyes and stare about the room
with new eyes

What is this place?
How did I find myself here?

I truthfully find it rather exciting.

Those few moments have an intoxicating intrigue.
I have a mystery set before me.
A new place, ready for new discoveries.
A fresh start

What does it say about me that
I sometimes find it rather....

disappointing

when my brain catches up to my body
and I glance around the room
that is suddenly not nearly as novel
as it was before.

If you touch the hot stove.....you will be burned
If you drink the poison...you will get sick
If the candle dies, you will be alone in the dark
If you jump...you will fall


don't jump


If you pull the trigger...someone will get hurt
If you break the glass you will bleed
If you stand in the storm, you will blow away
If you fall for me, your heart will be broken


don't fall


________


When I touch the hot stove
When I drink the poison

I learn from my mistakes

When my candle dies, I will light it again
and push forward

When I fall, I will pick myself up
Because that's what people do


take chances


I pull the trigger because I know where I'm aiming the gun
I break the glass because you placed it between us

I stand in the storm because it's where I always find you

I'm falling for you because we always risk getting hurt
when we fall
but we still have to try


*take the leap

They gather 'round
the mountainous pile
it's towering
to them
it's frightening

Books
Books
Cascades of books
Pages upon pages of
ideas
knowledge
They despise these words
they hide them in dark corners
of their minds
Where they do not peer
where the tissue paper of their fantasy world
barely holds back the truth

They've gathered all their fears together
in the square
covered in gasoline.  The fuel of the righteous.
The medium of control and order
Now those are words they can get behind.

They stand for a moment
as if they aren't quite sure
if what they're doing is right

The moment passes
a lone cigarette flips carelessly
through the air
Bouncing off Twain
Rolling past Dickens
Before landing on the esteemed Thompson

Let there be light, indeed.

The heat given off is immense
Why wouldn't it be?
The fire is burning through ideas
A powerful fuel source
freedom of thought evaporates
with the smoke
with the smell
of burning paper
of burning leather

These righteous people
These wise people
with no emotions
but anger and hate
are suddenly alive

They roll their eyes back
into their heads in ecstacy
in hypocricy
it brings them pleasure
to destroy knowledge
and replace it
with falsehood
with lies

The pile is smoldering now
A hill of dead authors
They walk away
smiling
satisfied
satiated

It's a tough job,
defending the world
from free expression
from the burden of choice

but someone's gotta do it
as far as they're concerned
it might as well be them

You're like a beautiful poem, my dear
it's plain to see
it's plain to see
I'm now caught within your verse, I fear
I'm lost at sea
I can't be free

You've trapped me in your sonnet
each syllable draws me deep
like a lilting lullaby
that carries me to sleep

You've written this beautiful world, my dear
I've fallen in
I've let you win
but the story was never about me, I fear

I'm reading the lines meant for him

They say

that the definition of insanity, that is what insanity means
is doing the same thing over and over and over and over and over and over

again and again and again and ****** again


and expecting different results and expecting different things and expecting you to care

I guess you could say

I'm crazy for you
I'm mad about you

Or maybe I'm just a fool

You know...
Here's the thing.
I always felt that I had
a good head on my shoulders
right up until the point that I met you.
You took it off my body and you drop kicked
it into space where it's now floating somewhere just
outside of Jupiter's grasp.  The rest of me remains bound
to the gravity of the earth, but my head?  It's in orbit.
You make me see stars with your heavenly body.
Your eyes are black holes from which there is
no escape.  You've gone supernova, my love,
and I'm basking in the gamma rays of
your affection.  It's a good burn.  I'm
gasping for air, but it isn't due to
lack of oxygen.  You steal my
breath from me. It's OK,
though.  You are truly
out of this world,
and now I'm
with you
at last
.

She lies in bed and impishly smiles
Her naked body is my temple
I think about her every once in awhile
Love is always distorted, rarely simple

Her naked body is my temple
I explore every inch of her mind
Love is always distorted, rarely simple
I am saddened by what I find

I explore every inch of her mind
I think that I know her inside and out
I am saddened by what I find
everyone has something to lie about

When I left her it was November
I think about her every once in awhile
I cannot help but to remember
She lies in bed and impishly smiles

Little Jack Horner
On the street corner
His eyes are empty and gray
He hates to bother
but could you spare a dollar?
Everyone has debts that need paid

I'm no writer.  I'm too logical

Sometimes I wish I could just lay my

head down on a piece of paper

and have my thoughts flow out onto it

like water

filling the emptiness

I               want to swim in my own head
I               want to remember things I knew
I               want to seep into my memories
I       want         to break my pattern of logic

I'm getting closer every day

I feel the box cracking

But then I fall back into line
But then I fear criticism
But then I'm apprehensive
But then I remember

I'm no writer.

Zumokuta Temokuchiarimiri

When I sneak into your room,
you will never hear me

My mind's alert, adrenaline pumped,
my moves are slow and measured
I step so silently around
the objects that you treasure

There's no recourse, there's no escape
You can't avoid your ****** fate
I approach your side, nowhere to hide
out of my sheath my dagger slides

As you gurgle your final breath
the last thing that you will ever see
are the lifeless, souless eyes
of Temokuchiarimiri

I was faced with a conundrum just the other day.
You see, a girl that I had fancied -- she took my heart away

She cut it open it with a rather rusty sharp utensil
then she penned the most beautiful lines with that sanguine pencil

Her writing with my AB Positive were delicate and wonderful
as I lay upon the ground, seeping by the bucketful

While I will admit that I was all manners of distressed
I also couldn't help to be tremendously impressed.

There are days when it feels as if the world
is made of glass, and I'm dripping in oil.
Every slick surface reflects back a person
I don't want to see.
I must tread carefully at these times, for
if I'm careless, I will slip
and be shredded by the shattered earth

There are days when it feels as if you are
made of glass, and only I can console you.
I hold you tight, allowing you to
cut through me.
I must not grip too strongly, however...for
if I'm careless, you will shatter
and only shards of you will remain

There are days when it feels as if I am
made of glass, and you can see through me
You see my flaws, and accept me
for who I am
Still, I must be alert for there are
those who would throw stones
leaving you to pick up the pieces

There are days when the world is the world
and we are ourselves.
Those are the days of our lives
worth remembering.

left foot
right foot
left foot
left foot.

Face.

******.

Every evening I go to bed knowing
that there's no way I could love you
more than I did today.

Every morning you prove me wrong
You're always right
beside me
smiling as if to say
"I told ya so"

I see the tempest approaching.

It's coming towards me, black clouds with
      tendrils snaking
        thunder snarling
        Eager
        Hungry
    Coming for me

I welcome it.  Bring forth the pain, if you dare

I care not

I grow tired of being a leaf in the wind
with my destiny blowing me
any which way
every day

I fight to remain in control

No more.
No more.

I will plant my feet firm in the soil
as the tempest, she's boiled, she's wild
she's fitful and riled
she wants to defile me

I will stand, lean into the wind as it tears at me
tears my clothes, tears at my skin
rocks and twigs and dirt attack
I lean into it, I savor it

I open my arms, welcoming

The rain comes down in dagger sheets.
It pelts at my face, but I will not shield my eyes
I will curse and I'll scream at the skies
a guttural roar
a primitive howl
I'm yelling for more

I'm mocking it now

my voice rings clear above the sound
of lightning and thunder
striking at the ground at my feet

A pain so sweet

The tempest, it throws everything
holds back nothing
as it blusters and wails
continues to falter and fail

down to a rumble
tumble
down to a pitiful bumble

I still stand
hands are fists
I'm covered in mud, soaked to the bone

filled with pride and warmth and glow

I'm Reckless
I'm Brazen
I'm Arrogant

I'm...Triumphant

I survived this storm.  I will survive the next.
I will survive you.
Will you survive me?

What an odd feeling it is
when you happen to look and see
an old and blurry photograph
and you think "How could this be me?"

How odd a feeling it is
when you think back to that day
the you from now wasn't yet then
then you was there to stay

Such an odd feeling it is
when you suddenly realize
that you would look as alien
as then you now looks in your eyes

You've grown and shifted
         your mind has sifted
out your childish ways

            Carefree thoughts
that simply cannot
           exist in your mind today

What an odd feeling it is
to look at that photo and say
who is that kid and however did
he end up here today?

Hey you there, hands in your pockets
where were you walking?
You look mighty suspicious,
I'm just being judicious
lest you're malicious

So it goes every day
Yet we look the other way
as if to say that it's all OK

Until they found their voice
Until they made their choice

Now we're no longer afforded
the right to ignore it
they're standing in front of us,
the ones who have bore it.

They'll yell and they'll swear
we'll stop and we'll stare
They will make us aware
that they'll bear it no more

The rain filled my drink for days
As I lay on the bridge
staring slowly at the stars

The space between my memories
covered my brain, leaving little room
for love, passion, or beauty

I knew my feet could still stand,
that my hands could still grasp

But I was small, far away
trying to fight the depths
of my desires.

I thought of better times
I wanted happiness

Alas

No use sitting and hoping,
thinking these idle thoughts
I suppose it's for the best
that I finally get a move on

He saw her in a moment fleeting
noticed that his heart was beating
she noticed him too, and gave a smile
more and more his heart grew wild
it exploded right out his chest
it made an awfully terrible mess
she took a look at her ***** laundry
pulled out a tissue while smiling wryly
She let him make it to first base
while wiping the entrails off her face
when they were done she giggled and smiled
and told him that though it had been fun for awhile
he was moving just a little too fast...
ripping his heart out was supposed to be last

Do you ever have
the strange sensation that a
ninja is watching?

Insanity ended with a shatter
as I laid waste
to
boring unpredictability

Two words to change the world?
Here goes:

Happiness is

As I look over the ledge
I wonder what it's like to fly
and though I know it's a foolish thought
                 I can't help but want to try

...It isn't that high

My poetry would improve
If I could write while dreaming

Do you suppose the essence of humanity tastes like cinnamon?
Does ecstasy destroy anticipation?
Have we ever lived?
Does the hurt fool reflect by drinking and shooting his gun?

I enjoy laughing at my missing lack of wealth....or was it health?
I definitely kept steady figures, in either case

This makes no sense, but at least it kept you entertained for a few minutes.

That was rude.

What would you do

if you found out that the truth was

that destiny was real

that your choices were predetermined

that an omnipotent being in the sky
had his big omnipresent hand
up your tiny unimportant ***

using you to act out its plan
each and every day

All your hopes and fears and special moments really did not belong to you

Those feelings of love, of hate, of excitement, of hopelessness existed only to move the story along, and it was not your story.  It wasn't any of ours.

What would you do?
What would you do?

**Exactly as you're ****** told

Is there a word for the disappointment felt when looking a picture that you had taken in a beautiful place?  

The work it took to get that spot, slowly trekking through hills and valleys, leaving mementos of sweat along your path.  The moments before you reached the pinnacle, the heightening excitement.  The absolute awe-inspiring majesty that filled your being, as you stood there slowly taking it in, wishing the moment wouldn't pass.  Praying that it wouldn't pass.  Taking a picture of it, so you'd always remember it.

Then, looking at the photo months later and realizing the camera could in no way do your experience justice.  The flat, lifeless piece of gloss before you could not store your emotions, the wind at your back, the thoughts racing through your head.  Those pieces of the experience are now mere echoes, reverberating through your memories.  You realize that when other people look at this picture, they will not see what you saw.  They will see a pretty landscape.  Nothing more, nothing less.

What a melancholy thought.

There should be a melancholy word to go with it.

Worlds of my mind
Dreams of my heart
Loves of my life

Like the words in my head...

I just want the time of day
to think my way

Day Dreams want a mind
Don't think odd things
Like a memory of  memories
Look...I'm feeling hope