It's that flittery fluttery
legs feeling buttery
     suddenly stuttering
         feeling I'm feeling
that's reeling me in
    I'm falling, quite breathless
and careless
into your arms where I rest
to slowly let the air
back into my chest

They say they a perfect memory
Is a memory that's never remembered

Strange as that may sound

But if that were true
I'd bury this memory of you

Deep into my brain
Never to be found

Then, someday, many years from now
I could open the lock  and look upon it

savor it

indulge myself in the unmarred recollection

in the final moment between me and infinity

I see you walk towards the door, mama.
You have some bags. You seem like
you're in such an awful hurry.
I lift my little hands up to you,
the person who I love most in the world,
but you seem so distracted.

You tell me that you'll be back soon

The door closes.

I wait.

I distract myself with the few toys
that you've left me.
The TV is on Sesame Street
as Elmo teaches me about love.

I see a beautiful leaf flutter outside the window.
I can't wait to tell you about it.

It's been so long mama.  

Where are you?
My stomach is growling
but the snacks you left have run out.
I try to open the door but my little fingers
don't yet have the dexterity.

I hope you bring blueberries home,
You know they're my favorite.

I'm starting to get scared, mama
my stomach hurts so much.
I wish you were here to cuddle me
and make me feel less alone.
I whimper.  I miss you.

I've made a mess, mama.

I'm so sorry, it was an accident.

The first time, I tried to hold it in
but I couldn't.  I hope you're not angry.
I have nowhere else to go.
I didn't know what else to do
so I took my pants off and put
them in the corner.

It's been so long, mama

Why haven't you come home yet?
I'm screaming now, my tiny body
wracked with sobs.
I'm angry and confused.  
I don't understand why you left.

I'm terrified and alone.

I'm so tired, mama
my lips are dry.
my stomach is empty.
my eyelids are heavy.
I am inconsolable,
but I'm too weak to even cry.

my heart is broken.


You were supposed to protect me.


It hurts so much.

I'm closing my eyes, mama.

I hope that the next time I open them
You'll be there to tell me
Everything is going to be alright

I still love you.

Goodbye mama.