The air was aerie and silent, chilly breezes blowing like songs of sorrow

It’s dark, it’s scary, but it tells a beautiful story

Stories that took place on dark nights, just like this one

Stories where the trees looked more frightful than ever, as they cast lonely shadows in which sublime monsters lurk


But with courage, if you venture, if you strike down your fear,

You’ll trial through the forest and come across a safe haven;

A clearing where owls hoot, where fireflies spark

And the deep, blue sky is covered in glittering stars

Then the moon, the supreme ruler of the night– hovering above

Like a celestial being—

To be worshiped,

To be loved

So perhaps the night isn’t so frightful after all

I remember that day so clearly— Well the morning of that day.

I was showering, the light dim, A song playing that takes me far into my past.

There was…  Something about that moment,—There was a feeling I became familiar with.

That moment was so…  Hauntingly beautiful,— Like blood on white roses. It was sickeningly perfect; it seemed wrong yet so right—


The feeling I had was dissociation. But it wasn’t the normal kind, not like the type I have now.

It felt like vape smoke deep in my lungs, filling my head, my mind. But it was dark, like smog. Hovering around me, filling me.

It twisted around my head, like a dark foreshadowing of the horrors soon to come.


I felt clueless…

Yet…

At peace.

It was almost like I was floating.

That morning was like peaceful dribbles of rain, before it strengthened and became a strong storm…

It certainly felt like there were soft droplets falling from a cloud within my head.

Like the dissociative fog became so strong it needed to rain.
How could I have known my soft droplets would turn to pounding rain, with booming thunder and flashing lightning?

How could I have known my heart could beat louder than that thunder?

How could I have known my heart would be that thunder?


But still—

Despite the dreadful day it became.

That feeling— That memory— That day—

Holds a special carved-out place deep within my soul.


A place created from the eye of the storm.

A place of peace, fear, unpredictability,


Yet,


familiarity.

Unexplainable,
The way it makes you feel,
What it does to you,
Filling you with ecstasy,  
Or with despair,
But in reassurance of your feelings,
Always there,
No matter when or why,
Lifting you,
Moving-
With its endless possibilities,
In the sea of symphonies,

Untouchable-
The lyrics,
Perfectly placed,
Making my body move,
In coordination with my soul,
How can they sit still?
Don’t they feel it?
Being levitated

The instruments,
Becoming intwined with my heart,
Taking over my body,
My worries - that plagued me,
But in that moment -
They were never there,
And I am saved,
In total bliss - Heaven -
For it will always be favorite poem

-JJ
17/03/25

I was home,
The feeling that suddenly hit my heart-
Spreading through my body,
The sense of comfort and belonging-
Hugged my body gently,
It’s Raw and natural beauty-
“Simple”- but not to me,
It was so intricately painted-
Every tree,
every brushstroke: making the mountains
every uniquely mixed color,
Came together in harmony.
The familiar, spiractic, sharp but soft-
Trees cut through the sky,
As if they were waving,
Revealing their pattern as the sun shone through,
And in the distance-
They looked like golden bushes,
Caught in the suns light.
The beautiful white and orange houses poked through the dark green trees,
Like a used and messy paint pallet,
That was somehow still so pretty,
As if the beauty could not continue-
Yet the pink and purple clouds appeared,
Like kind giants,
Slowly drifting through the light blue sky

I always thought it was strange-
Hearing about people falling in love with countries or cities,
But now I understood.

I knew then-
And every time I was reminded,
This was my place,
The country I fell in love with
I had to come back one day,
But that time- I would never leave,

And in that moment,
All my worries were at a halt,
And only happiness remained

-JJ
08/04/25

The feeling
The worst one,
Oh how it feels- Never ending
When there is nothing-
-In the world-
To seize the pain your feeling,
wonder far, wonder wide
Try to grasp and reach,
To distract you from this pain,
Feeling empty, feeling numb-
left undistracted for too long

Wish to drift into endless bliss,
Mindless entertainment-
To quiet the buzzing mind,
How no one could survive it.
What a jumbling maze,
With no words to describe,
And in this moment nothing could satisfy-
-   My dear, confusing mind

-JJ
22/02/25