The words
At the tip of my tongue
ready to burst
if needed

But then the eyes bear
and from the tip they travel
down
       down
             down
Uncertainly settling in my stomach

"What's wrong?"
"Cat got your tongue?"
And they come back again
they do
      (those words that cant seem
      to stay still)

They crawl up my throat
suffocating me
And then the words in my head
join in too

I cant breathe
    I cant breathe
       I. Cant. Breathe.
My eyes scream
      "HELP ME"
but they ignore
and instead their eyes scream back
l a u g h t e r

pleasejustdisappeardisappeardisappeardisappeardisappeardisappe­ardisappeardisappeardisappeardisappeardisappeardisappeardisappear­disappeardisappearDISAPPEARDISAPPEARDISAPPEARDISAPPEARDISAPPEARDI­SAPPEARDISAPPEARDISAPPEARDISAPPEARDISAPPEARDISAPPEARDISAPPEARDISA­PPEARDISAPPEARDISAPPEARDISAPPEAR

                               ­           D I S A P P E A R

and by some miracle
they do...

no
not a miracle
i soon realize
but out of b o r e d o m
out of d i s s a p o i n t m e n t

and thats when the words
                  (that cant seem to stay still)
finally leave my mouth
in a whisper


they say
       "im sorry"

You look at the mirror

                                                                       but to me its a glass

Its the only way I can see you

                       Without wearing my mask

Because without it

         (Am i?)                                           I am a monster.



  When you look at the mirror,

I imagine you are                looKin G               at me

With those eyes that seem to be able

To see through                 e v e r y t h i n g

                                                                    (but not the glass, at least.)



I get scared when your eyes    skim     across mine

I get scared you know what l i e s

Buried, hidden, safely locked away inside                                            (is it?)

               I get scared that you will then discover                                  

That what you look at is indeed glass

                                                                             not mirror



I can never let you go              (or cradle you by my side)



i can never break from this    

                                       curse

no matter how h a r d          I try



You feel my presence

but in the end

y o u d o n t c a r e

so should i leave this glass?

no

i

i

i  think i'll just stay there

just a little longer

just until our eyes finally lock

just until this dream ends

I see it in the sunset,

The brightness so warm and comforting,

Before it slowly fades to darkness,

Leaving me alone in the dust.

It smells like musk,

The innocence of it

Covered by dreams and fantasies.

Nostalgia.



I can taste its bittersweet flavor,

Tingling in my *****.

Our best memories

Bringing tears and sorrow.

I can feel it in my heart,

The way it tugs and turns,

Reaching out to the past

Its burning passion doused by my tears.



I can hear it in everything,

Yearning to break me.

Everywhere I turn its voice calls to me

Reminding me of what I lost.

No matter how much I yearn for it

How much I struggle,

We will never be able to stay young forever.

Angel

Clip off your wings

Retire the crown

Show the scars

Hide the pain

Swallow the swarming dread

Fall to the ground

Fall under the ground

A bird with no wings

A singer with no voice

An angel with no heart

An oxymoron

A hypocrisy

A paradox

A failure



Keep the balance

Check the posture

Put on that broken mask

Now smile for the camera

Good job, keep that smile

You look great in it

Everyone loves your mask, don't they?

But would they still love me if they knew my thoughts?

Shh...

Quiet the thoughts.

Smile for the camera

Check your posture

Stop crying

Your make-up's running

I said

STOP.

There

That's better

Just touch up the broken mask

Hold on to the pieces until the end

Because at the end

You can rest

So for now

Just work hard

The Boy cries about her on his shoulder

And he lets Him

Even though every single part of him wishes

it was him The Boy was crying about

Not her