For Him:
Why
Why do these waves of your memories
crash so harshly on my shore?
I see you smiling
Laughing
Was the pain so much to bear?
Why
Why did you leave me?
It hurts so much just looking at you
At what you once were
At what you are to me.
At what you were to yourself.
Why
Why couldn’t I save you?
You screamed until your throat tore
You cried until your tears refused to flow
You prayed for that moment of freedom
Until your last breath
So why couldn’t I see your desperation sooner?
It’s all my fault
I’m sorry.
I’m so sorry.
I don’t deserve this happiness
This happiness that you never felt
I can’t live with all this pain
But time heals.
One day, long after this
You will be but a fleeting memory
A remembrance of days gone by without care
One day I will stop mourning you
One day I will stop listening to your voice.
One day I will forget you.
It may take a month
A year
A decade
I will let you go
But for now, I’ll hold onto you a little longer
I’ll cry a little harder
I’ll scream a little louder
I’ll live a little fuller
I’ll do this all for you
Because
I love you.