I dream
Every night
Of kissing
Those lips
That go along
With that
Handsome face

I dream
Every night
Of just being able
To get
Even a seconds worth
Of a hug
From your
Aching Body

Because I know
That you struggle
With the seed
Of sadness
That grows inside
Some of us

Because you hide it
Oh-so-well

Because you don't
Want to seem
"Weak"
To all your
"Friends"

And I tell you
That I'll
Always
Be here for you
That I'm not
Going anywhere

But maybe,
You lost my
Number

Or maybe,
Your phone got
Broken

Because I don't
Want to be mad
At someone
Who suffers in
Silence
Because I know
What you're feeling
So I try
To think of the
Best scenario

But maybe,
No matter
How much of me
Wishes it
To not be true,
Maybe
You just know
You're better off
Without me.

-e.w.

I lied
Telling you
That we're not friends
And that
Your friend
Is "hotter" than you
Because somehow
I wanted to make you
Feel how I do

And when you joked
Saying that
I was your girlfriend
Because you got
Defensive
When your friend said it
I smiled
So wide
But I then was hit
With the realization
That you
Already have a
Girlfriend
And that I am
Just another girl
That will never
Mean anything more
To you
Then just as a
Friend.

Or,
Whatever the hell
This is
Between us.

-e.w.

We used to be a treasure, so hard to find.
We used to be a light, so easy to spot.
Our stars used to always shine.
All we have left now is empty eyes so blood-shot.

We used to be a key, to every closed door,
We used to be the rust chains, the ones that never let go,
Our seas were so wide, now all we see is the shore,
All we have left is nothing but an act of a desperate show.

We used to be the insane, the ones who never looked back,
We used to be the liars of the truth, nothing to live for,
Our road was so clear, but now we have lost our track,
All we have left is nothing, and nothing more.

Your name sits on the tip of my tongue,
Along with bitter aberrations
Of love and loathing.  
Your name  commingles in my veins,
And tips my stomach
Like a tugboat in a hurricane.
In the years I have grown,
I have been shown the difference
Between the good and the bad.
I exhausted the arms on the clock
Arranging daisies of adoration
In the souls of those who were rotten.
Even the one I thought was impeccable
Has placed me on a shelf of old seashells
And bottled ships.

Smile, smile when you're insides are turning into flame
Smile when your legs won't stop shaking
Smile when your arms are tangeled with each other
Smile when your blood is circuilating twice as fast
Smile when you can feel heart beat out of your chest
Smile when your teeth don't leave your lips
Smile when you're heart is numb from the pain
Smile when your mind is a hurricane
Smile when the demons are whisperring to you
Smile when the razors and pills are screaming out your name
Smile when your nails are digging into your skin
Smile when your eyes are dying
Smile, and just keep smiling because it's the only way to hide it
Smile because it's the only way to hide that darkness.

Men like me
don't get the girl
We're too real
too honest
free
wild
untamable
Beautiful women do grace my hands
from time to time
but they don't stay
Not the way hammers
or axes
or rifles do
Those are always true
And you know if you miss your mark
or don't split the wood right
or bend a nail
it's no one's fault but your own
You correct what you did wrong
and move on
They forgive
No biggie
But with women you're always guessing
Was it me or her this time
And if it was you
you can't just fix it and go on with your life
No
They hold that **** against you
You have to eviscerate yourself
with the sword of apology
not once but many times
Put your guts on display
hold them above your head
yell to the heavens
throw them on the ground
jump up and down on them
and swear over and over
that you'll never be wrong again
Promise you'll be perfect from then on out
even though you know it's a lie
See, that's another thing about women
they say the only things they want in a man
are honesty
respect
and loyalty but
I know that's not true
Women don't want real honesty
Honesty is cold and unbiased
like a gun
and if it's pointed at them
they don't much like it
They just want you to tell them
what they wanna hear
to lie and make them believe it's the truth
They don't want real respect
They just want you to capitulate
To kiss their ***
and catch their ****
preferably both at once,
and even if they don't deserve it
And when women say they want loyalty
they don't just mean that
they don't want you ******* other chicks
they also mean they want you to be loyal
to the fake man they turn you into
and forget about being loyal
to who you really are
They want you to cut your ***** off
and hand them over
And that I can't do
If women wanted men
who were truly true loyal and respectful
I'd have married years ago
instead of leaving women
who lie about ******* other men
instead of leaving women
who choose to abort my child
instead of leaving women
who are fickle beasts
doting on me at first
then gnashing their teeth
once a little bit of time sets in
once I don't pretend to be
what I'm not just for them
once I show I'm not gonna be a slave
to that black hole between their legs
I have no problem
finding other eyes to gaze into
other smiles to admire
other hair to play with
other hands to hold
other warmth to sink into
even if only temporarily.
I feel no need
to let a woman exercise
some need to control me.
I've never had a problem
with walking away
I just keep on as a sunny day
that they can't wish into a stormy one
That's why men like me
don't get the girl
We're *******
because we're honest
We don't lie, not even to please
We'll always be the same
We love to live and be free
to go get our hands ***** out in the world
We can't give a woman
all of our time and identity
Those are two things we need to keep for ourselves
in addition to their love
We won't be whipped
so they go looking for boys who can be
And we just continue doing what we do
until we find those rare women
who can be free and real with us
who know that we're like hammers
axes
and rifles
and know that if they're true with us
we'll always be true for them