I've always known
I was never
Cut out for this.
Cut out for
Living
Cut out for
Surviving
Or whatever it is
We're doing
Day by
*******
Day.

-e.w.

I listened
To that song on
Repeat
Because somehow
It reminded me of
You
And just like
That song
I can't get you
Out of my
Head.

-e.w.

Please give me
The strength
I need
To end everything
Tonight
Because no one
Will care
And no one
Will notice
As I am
Gone from this
World
Because you all
Will go about
Your normal lives
As I disappear
In the blink of an
Eye.

-e.w.

I know
I keep saying it
Over and over
That this
Is it
Tonight
Is the night
And then
I find out
I'm not strong enough.

But hopefully
Tonight will be
The night
And I won't
Have to see
Your face tomorrow
Or
Ever again

And I won't
Have to fake
That terrible smile
That fades
Into tears
Every
*******
Night

Because I can't
Take any of this
Anymore

I've lost myself
I'm a mess
And I will never
Be able
To untangle
The poisonous weeds
Wrapped around my
Heart
And my weak
Soul.

-e.w.

God,
Why does he
Have this affect
On me?
Because one minute
I feel like
I can live
Without him
Like I'll be fine
But the next
When he talks to me
And shows that
Gorgeous smile
I feel like
All my walls
Come crashing
Down.

-e.w.

"I have to ***."
Was the first text
I got from you
After 3 weeks
Of nothing

You were
Sitting across
From me
In the only class
We have
Together

You smirked
When you saw
That I got the text

I didn't want to smile
Or show any emotion
I didn't want
To give you
The satisfaction
That you can still
Make me
Happy,
Even if it's just for
A split second.

And yet,
I smiled
Wider than the
Sky.

-e.w.

You make me
Sick to my
Stomach
Yet I feel
Right at
Home
When you speak
Even one word
To me.

Because your presence
Can either
Make me feel
Like I want to die
Or like
I want to be
Around,
Hopefully with you,
Forever.

You either
Make me feel
Like I'm the most
Worthless
Person in the
Whole world
Or like
I'm the one
Who matters
Most to you.

And I don't
Understand
How someone
Like me
Could love and
Hate someone
So much

And that
Someone
Is you.

-e.w.

You saw
The thin scars
That line
About halfway
Up my wrist
And how
4 or 5
Were still
Swollen
And red
From two
Nights before.
We were at
Dinner,
But I saw the look
That petrified
Your face
As my sleeve
Inched up
And as your eyes
Examined them
Carefully.
You seemed sad
But you didn't
Say a word,
You just quickly
Changed the subject
As I felt like
Crying.

But it's been
Five days now
And you haven't
Confronted me
About the battle
Going on
On my pale wrist

But you've been
More considerate
And nicer
And actually
Made me feel
Like you're
Worried about me
Like you realize
That just because
I act tough
And strong
That may be
The farthest from the
Truth.

-e.w.

You make me feel
Like there is
Something wrong
With me

Because you
Told me
You liked me
And that you would
Do all of these things
With me
And told me
I was the most
Beautiful girl
You have ever seen

You made me feel
For once
In my life
That I actually
Mattered to
Someone
That someone actually
Cared enough
To text me back
Or worry
How I was doing

But I realized
It was all
Just another game;
I turned into
Putty in your hands
And I let you
Play and tear
At the strings
Of my heart
And at the strings
Of what was
Keeping me
Alive

So, guess what?

*******.

-e.w.

I promise you
With all my
Torn up
Almost-dead
Heart
That I will try
To love
And fix
You
With all
that's left of
Me.

-e.w.