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 Feb 2014 Ink
Harry J Baxter
no longer am I afraid of my own ignorance
nor am I afraid to lie
every single ******* poem
has to be so **** enigmatic
that I tire of reading
the same whiskey stained, cigarette smelling
blocks of text
I hate poetry
and I hate poets
I hate myself
and I hate you
so sue me
pretentious young people so concerned with life
pretentious young people all looking for a crack at the limelight
me oh me oh me oh my
read my pain drenched musing
feel the depth of my soul
because I have no other hopes
of ******* above my weight class
Me so touched and artistic
Me drunk and high -
a raving mess of hormones and emotions
where do we go from here?
which breakthrough is waiting to be made?
are we doomed to ape the beats and Bukowski
until the day that writing is made obsolete by tweeting?
**** oh **** oh **** oh ****
see? I’m edgy, couldn’t care less about P.C. and good taste
I’m wearing the same black shirt
as everybody else
but mine is different - see?
why be  a poet
when you can be anything else?
who chooses the bullet to the head
over the winning lottery ticket?
 Feb 2014 Ink
N0thing
I walk down this line
line of white ink, surrounded by darkness
Searching for something, behind this mist
My eyes are screaming
Hands shaking
“Where am i?”

This unknown line, yet so familiar
Calls to me
But i cannot hear its words
My ears are focused on the sound of the drum
Pounding with every breath i take
“Where am i?”

Behind this beating
I hear a voice
Yelling with anger
Frustration so near
I move towards the sound
To my surprise
It is a girl
“Who are you?”

Without a word or a noise
She moves closer
With every step she takes
Her short black hair swings in the wind
Her skin so pale and rough
Body as slim as a pole;
A rather short pole
She seemed to be so recognizable
“Who are you?”

I hear it again
The frustration in tone
Yet not form the girl
Rather from someone alone
I leave the mute radio
Running towards the voice
The drums have become louder
“Where are you”

There is tension in the air
As i try to search for the voice
My heart is pounding fast, followed by the drum
I am nervous
Anxious
Scared and excited
“Where are you?”

As i run. i feel pressure;
The pressure of falling
It felt as though i fell into a pit.
Dark, cold, lonely; pit.
The voice is back, but lonely
“How do you feel?”

There is no sight of a human
Just darkness and quiet
The voices have stopped
So have the drums.
It is almost peaceful
For a moment i forget it all, but then
I hear,
“How do you feel”

I am here; alive and real.
I am me; the best i can be.
I exist within my mind; i can be mean, or kind.
I feel peace, because now i know,
I am mine.
 Feb 2014 Ink
Harry J Baxter
Mr. *******,
Mr. Oh here comes another pretentious cry for attention
I know self-deprecation babydoll
like you know his bedroom ceiling
Mr. International
jetted out from UK to the land of the silent heroes
where the grass isn’t green enough
and everybody was seemingly either
addicted to donuts, bacon, and cheese
or 5K’s, yoga, and weights
they don’t sell **** by the ten pack either
Mr. Liar Liar pants on fire
masochistic almost autistic
Mr. High or Drunk
Caffeinated thrift shop hipster
loves the girls until he has them
scrooge McDuck
I do believe misanthrope is the word
but always first to crack the whip of jokes in bad taste
if he were homeless he’d hang a sign around his neck
it would read:
Will somebody, for the love of God, please Validate me!?!
Mr. Rational thought secretly praying in the back room
Mr. Intellectual Dropout
don’t judge me judger
Mr. I’m brave for doing this
Jesus I am terrified
Mr. I could be great
if I could just find a ******* desk chair comfy enough
 Jan 2014 Ink
Harry J Baxter
I need you
The most beautiful three words I know
in the morning you are my first thought
and I keep you close to me throughout the day
I smell you on my fingers
and feel the urge claw its way through my nerves
and If I go too long without you
I’m nothing but flushed sweats
and anxious nail biting and fidgety hands and feet
If I have to wait any longer
I get cranky
every voice a whip crack of annoyance
I need you
at night I can’t sleep without you
and I am self-aware
hopelessly addicted
it’s always been one of my themes
and I have no interest in the science behind it
just the simple statement of humanity it bares
I need you
and if I can’t reach you
I’m willing to do whatever it takes
just to get another taste
hopelessly addicted
 Jan 2014 Ink
Harry J Baxter
We were at the lofts
drinking beer and gin and whiskey
while the snow piled up against us outside
played some fifa
lost a few games of fifa
whatever I was drunk
Oh is it seriously almost three
okay me and Hayden have to go
It went bro grab bro grab
bro’s girlfriend hug
and oh look, there’s my gay friend
hug him goodbye
oh, his hands are on my face
oh, he’s kissing my face now
was that Saliva?
Oh Jesus
break away, make a quick exit
see you guys tomorrow or something
feeling like a ******* for feeling like it was ****** up for him to kiss me
am I a *** now?
**** I hope not
I like girls too much
but why did he do that?
everything was so great
he knows I’m not gay
and that I don’t care
but do I care?
the memory of unwanted saliva echoes in my head
I guess sometimes
your gay friend will give you a drunken peck on the cheek
I guess that sometimes
you have to not be such a close minded jack ***
and just deal with it
 Jan 2014 Ink
N0thing
Success,
Money,
Fame,
Fortune
This is everyone's aim

But, what for? why must we reach such goals?
“For a happy life” or well that's what i'm told
If so,
What is success?

Is it the money,
The amount of gold,
Or how much your worth even when you're old

Is this what an ideal life is meant to be?
How blind can they be, to not see this is false  
For they spend all their time, working for this “life”
When they forget to live

Take a walk under the bright night sky
Climb a tree, without the fear to fall
Live today, as if today was the last
Be real and not afraid to speak the truth

Once in a while,
Run and chase a rainbow
Believe in the tooth fairy
And live life creating memorize

For you’ll never know, how long you have
So why waste it, trying to create a “perfect” life for the future
When you have the chance now
So get up, and set free
and don't ever forget to live!
Lifes to short to waste time creating it, get up and start living it rather then waiting for tomorrow!
 Jan 2014 Ink
Harry J Baxter
Somebody once told me
no matter what you say -
if you believe it to be true -
speak it with volume
My junior year of high school
I interned for a week
teaching English to middle schoolers
they were working on the creative writing unit
classrooms covered in posters which read things like
no tears in the writer, no tears in the reader
and other good inspirational stuff
some of the kids wrote poems
others wrote short stories
others wrote I don’t know whats
but they all told a story which to them
was an essential truth of life
just waiting to be heard
and when they got up
to share in front of the class
from the shy girl in the soccer shoes
to the tall joker
they all spoke with volume
because some things
are impossible to ignore
 Jan 2014 Ink
Harry J Baxter
Let’s go trainspotting
or did I mean train hopping?
we’ll pick apples from the trees
out back under dark night skies
when nobody is watching
and we’ll drink water from gas station bathrooms
and coca cola from the glass bottle
Do you think
that before the cell phone towers were erected
people ever sent drunk letters?
Natives on Ayahuasca sending smoke signals
which say heyy!
I was thinking about you
and in the morning do you think they check the embers
and go oh ****
what did I do last night?
the chief is going to give me so much ****
the thing is
the things I say to you
with something in my system
are truer than all of the well calculated
across the room stares and smiles
and at night
while I stand lookout
while you pick apples
maybe I’ll drink some apple cider
and send you a drunk conversation
but when I’m with you
It’s like I’m drunk on puppy love
so you can believe
every text I send you
 Jan 2014 Ink
Harry J Baxter
Hey guys. Thanks for reading my stuff, and if this is the first time you have heard from me, I hope you will read my stuff. Lately I've been working on a sort of pet project of mine. An online space where young writers can showcase their work. So I started this blog called The Lost and Found (hbaxter94.com). But I don't want this site to be just my work. I've read a lot of good poets on here, as well as other places, and I wanted them to be a part of it. So I am hoping to get some submissions. Poetry, Fiction, Non-fiction - it doesn't matter. (Fiction and non fiction pieces under 3000 words please) If you write honest, powerful stuff which is relevant to growing up in today's post-modern post-internet era culture then I'd love to hear from you. Message me on here or email me at hbaxter94@gmail.com
I hope to hear from some of you wonderful people
           -Thanks Harry J. Baxter
 Jan 2014 Ink
Gloria
Untitled
 Jan 2014 Ink
Gloria
Sometimes I sit here and wonder:
"Am I your she?
Or am I just her stand-in?"

Could it be true?
Could it be that you're here to stay?
Could it be that I'm here to stay
with you?
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