There are no stars in the city.
The street lights are bright like the bright lights illuminating the night as the steady stream of cars pass by.
Steady like dreams.
Dreams are the wishes cast from the deepest window of your soul left ajar,
The kind of wish one would never dream to admit upon a star.

Never the woman,
always the other woman.
She-poets have sung of it since
they first gave words
to the wet knot of their hearts.

The consolation prize, the late-comer
who must be the one to wash his
***** hands. Not a goddess but
the amazon who presses on his
body’s weakest points. The villainess.

The other woman has no power.
He doesn’t need to know her name,
her fears, which books made her cry as
a girl. He already has his golden idol,
but he wants a clay vessel on the side.

He doles her out careful smiles under
pinkblue bar-lights or in smoky kitchens.
He tells her yes you’re beautiful
but I’ve got a better one at home still
can I see the shape you make in my bed?

And she is hopeful and lost
but finds his arm and lets herself be led.
Never the woman, but a girl who
plays games in the mud, dirties her dress,
blacks out her face, her soiled lips.

And women speak of the other woman
like she is a crow above their doors.
Watching them make their love
through greedy eyes while
nursing her barbed and tangled heart.

A final no
Phrase complete
With tongue and lips and mouth she speaks

And I am gone
A black hole of pain
With nothing here left to gain
Everything I hoped to be
Was bound in her; and not in me

The dream collapsed
And I am done
From now on I shall just be one

A flicking hope
Now shut out
My heart has no strength, it cannot shout

The words I utter
Seem to be
No longer wholly part of me
Just empty phrases
Parts of past
A stranger here; alone at last

I feel strange peace that hope is gone
For now alone, I carry on

My body broken
My spirit crushed
Alone in chains of past and fear
My heart no longer whole is here

I battle and rage
But when I cannot go on
I do not fall apart
I simply go away
A ghost of another day
If all I feel I do pen here
Why do I need another ear?
Their life more pertinent then mine
It's for their sake, I pen this line

I still do tarry among the past
Because I hold so very fast
To hopes and dreams of days gone by
When I had hoped to try to fly
I still do want to rise above
Rising strong, in hope and love

But I know this faltering dream
Is nothing more than something unseen
Unseen in heart
Not in the plan
I hold until I cannot stand

By why I rise?
For 'er I fall
A lone warrior in an empty hall

With mouth and lips and tongue she speaks
A final no
Phrase complete.

(theinkthatspeaks.blogspot.com)

omo Fitutu
nureba ya Fito no
mieturan
yume to siriseba
samezaramasi wo

Was I lost in thoughts of love
When I closed my eyes? He
Appeared, and
Had I known it for a dream
I would not have awakened.

Silence for what seems like decades,
Endless periods of time,
In this small choking room,
With charred walls
And torn curtains,
With nothing but dust hanging in midair.
Clocks had stopped ticking,
And water doesn’t drip-drop anymore
From the never-sealed tap.
No sunshine beaming through my window,
No birds chirruping in my garden,
Only dry dead branches,
Dry baked earth,
The smell of cobwebs and rot.
Sitting in my corner for so long,
I’ve become almost as lifeless
As this place itself.

Why are you like this?
You're so inhuman, senseless.
Someday you might catch a cold
From all of that ice on your soul.
Why do you like to make me feel small?
Why am I still talking to you at all?!
Are you some kind of evil phantom?
How did you hypnotize me like that?
What is it that runs through your mind?
Your thoughts are beyond my reach.
I can't decipher your face expression.
I can't read between your lines.
I can't predict you,
Or link between your different personalities with each day.
Teach me to be unbreakable.
Teach me to forget.
Teach me to be so carefree and cold-blooded.
Teach me to steal hearts!
Why should I be your unfortunate victim?
This is not just another story in my life,
This is a nagging pain I'll carry within me forever.
Just tell me..
What Are You?!

Sleepless.
I grab the phone
And dial the number
That I used to dial everyday,
But I don't anymore.
You answer the phone,
"Hello?"
"Hi, it's me.
We haven't talked for so long, I know.
I just wanted you to hear out
What I have to say.
Don't blame me
For walking away.
I never meant to hurt you,
or myself.
I simply stopped pretending
That I was okay
When I never really am.
And,
I don't hate you.
You shouldn't hate me, either.
We never had anything
To really fight about.
No hard feelings.
I just decided
I need to do more
With my life.
Don't hate me, please,
I don't deserve to be despised.
I simply stopped pretending
That I was okay
'Cause I never really am.
...
Are you still on the line?"
An awkward silence
Followed my words,
Then you said
In a tired voice
As if you didn't recognize
Who I am
Or what I was talking about,
"Do you know
What time of the night
This is ?!"
Then you ended the call,
Abruptly,
And went back ..
.. To sleep.

When your daughter is young,
you watch over her so she won't get stung.
You gaze into her sweet baby face,
so full of love and beautiful grace;
a sugarplum fairy, she's extaordinary;
a Joan of Arc, down to the birthmark.
When she turns sweet sixteen,
you see into the eyes of a prom queen;
a change so dramatic,
it drives you psychosomatic;
you practice meditation,
but it's still a complication!
Then comes her own love story,
lovely like a morning glory;
arm in arm eith your baby girl,
who's dressed in white like an ocean pearl.
Step, step , step all the way down the aisle,
you look at her face and see her smile.
Years pass so quickly, next thing you know
you're watching your precious granddaughter grow.
"Good-nught, Grandpa," says your little Snow White;
with tears in your eyes, you're feeling all right

Sam sat as he always does
looking out a window
and seeing what was
what was past
what was now
what might have been
and what was, was.