What is it I'm hanging onto?
Why is it so hard to know?
I hate myself when I pursue you,
but I just can't let you go.

I'm not the only guilty one.
You string me along the same.
You make it so easy to hate you,
and when I leave you call my name.

I can't say I ever really knew you,
sometimes I wonder if I've made you up,
but I know we don't work,
and it's time I give you up.

That golden color is no more valuable than a penny, fills each valley as its been for moments while there's nothing to hear out side of her ears other than mother natures breath. For now her discernment is a monster of despair that doesn't lay under her bed. She gazes at her joints while contemplating her lack of courage to remember that the tiger inside of her that lashes against all of the village will not be doing the same to her. The righteous act of stillness is what is motivation to put down what isn't really mine. The shiny pointed sculptures of paper that some know as a tool for creation named scissors, that need to cut inanimate objects, not my vessels containment for natural life. I let myself fill my cup with spirits that I don't drink, but bathe in.

Now I don’t know if you know this,
But your actions affect me, they do
Like a fish on a hook,
I’m pulled straight out the blue.

Each time I bite down
With a laugh and a grin,
Each time you cut the line
And throw me right back in.

Slowly but surely
Love can turn into hate,
And sooner or later
I won’t take the bait.

They said high school was a home of learning
Oh I learned alright
They said it would construct my future
All it did was destroy me with the past
They said it would be safe
They have no defense over the demons
They said it would develop me as a person
But I remain who I was... only shattered

They said so many things, yet understood so little

This goes to the pillow-clutchers
to the broken who carry soaked and salty handkerchiefs
to the flesh that thrive for streaks of red dripping out
to the souls that are constantly bombarded by screeches of lies
Lies that overrun every beauty in and out
Lies that lead to masochistic actions
Waiting for the second heartbeat after every punch
Hoping this would free the monsters trapped within
This goes to the insecure
No, we are not emo
How can one contain our being in just three letters?
We are not superficial pain lovers
We are violated, dispirited, downhearted, beaten, unsettled, splintered, forgotten
But we will never be merely emo

A high school is not filled with students
It is filled with labels, rumors, divisions and fake personas
filled with eyes that look straight into your soul
filled with whispers that spread like a virus
Getting worse and worse after every ear it has jumped into
Savages looking for the flaw that can destroy you
Until you break and mindlessly follow their example

High school is where you lose who you are
And be who everyone else wants you to be

Everyone thought I was just being vain
Always staring at the mirror, trying to be cute
Never did it come into their minds that I was already believing the lies
ready to accept the rumors
using FINE as my own maxim
**** I'm Never Enough
But I waited
Waited for someone to drive out the beasts
to heal my scars
to fill my emptiness
Yet until now I remain drenched in loneliness and fear

High school is worse than hell
A quick and small crack in your soul hurts more
Than an eternal burn of your flesh
This is why we're ready to see the light come out of our eyes
But I'm holding on
For you need pain before you're declared strong
For you need darkness before you see the stars
For you need death before you reach heaven
For where there are angels,
*there will always be demons

i find it so strange
how you always find a way
to creep into my dreams
even when you don't belong there

maybe it's because i let you in
i let you in and now you wont leave
in a way i kind of like you here though
these thoughts get pretty lonely

my mind wanders
and my body tries to follow
chasing you is hard
but you know i'll never give up

you always appear
at the strangest times
at awkward moments
not only in my dreams

its okay though
im used to awkward
because thats who i am
and you understand that

thank you

thank you for understanding,
for being someone worth chasing,
for making my awkward moments a tad less awkward,
for being my dream

yes, i love the blades
sharp, sleek

blades take away the pain for a while,
it gives me the adrenaline that i crave

i feel like i could fly
fly away from this world and never come down

but i know better, this feeling cant last forever
so i patiently wait til i can pick up those blades again
and let loose once more

ice skating is fun, isn't it?