No longer fueled by contraversy, living life to the fullest.
Let go of the past looking forward not going back
Good or bad always judged without being know
Writing takes me a way blocks out the world
Focused on what matters lost in my world only thing I know.
From fighting to inner peace healing no longer babying a broken heart
Changed for the better no more self destruction thinking others will feel your pain
Sacrifice that matters gain love and respect those who matter
Let go of those who waste your time and bad mouth you for being different
Not like the rest I can accept share love with those that appreciate you
stay loyal to your heart never give up on your goals and dreams
honest living not giving up work hard stay legit

He woke up had a breakfast thankful it was delicious. Read his book he had many more lined up to read always working never had much time for what he loved. He learned to make time especially on his down time. He enjoying writing it gave him inner peace. He loved jujitsu but did lack flexibility so close to a blue belt unfinished business that needed to be attended. Being on those !at he would help mentor the youth jujitsu was on the mind. He enjoyed the mind set. Due to his work schedule he would have time conflicts.
He has to learn balance one thing that was hard work his passions and finishing school so many things he was close to achieving but came up short. School was hard since he couldn't afford books showing up unprepared was not like him. He got tired of being set up to fail. He let himself down way too much he didn't want to do it anymore. He feared getting his degree and worried he'd be at the same job just with a degree he really wanted to be in his field and not wasting his time anymore. He was frustrated because he worked hard tried hard than most and still failed it never came natural he always had to put in the extra time. He hated being broke and hated relying on anyone but he did learn only he can do it and would be the only one who could do it for him

Haven't posted for a while. I'm in a better place clear mind and removed myself from toxic and negative people. Growing as a person, I get lost in my writing and enjoy myself most of all. I'm happier I've learned to let go and not go back. Move forward and do what's right. If you feel pressure and it's wrong say NO and walk away.
You cant please everyone, I don't say much but people talk be the one talked about not the one talking. I'm hated for telling the truth and being honest. I mind my mouth and business best way to go. Not listening to an opinion, I don't remember asking for. Have fun write, my passion and what I love. Keep at it never stop or settle.

That moment you say
No way not today
You to be loved accepted
Tired of being disrespected rejected
I bit my lip can't take it anymore
You run away now face your fear
Now I'm talking can you hear
I'm not joking or playing your game
Tired of feeling embarrassed wit shame
Way want to talk never want to listen
I stay away you claim you miss me
All you do is diss me
You don't do me favor
But I save you when your blue
Same old **** I'd wish youd shut it
Piece of my mind
Strike a nerve strike back

I failed as an older brother your suppose to protect the family. Being the oldest carries a bunch of burdens. You try to help your sibling but they want to do it there way. You try to keep them hidden but they escape leaving their own imprint on others.
I'm 6 years older than the rest everyone paired off or has a connect I'm the outcast I'm sure they love and care about me. It aways feels I don't matter everyone acts up once I say something after all the disrespect I'm the reject who is right but I don't want to be right I like to provide solutions.
I hope to one day be able to do things as a family instead of being dysfunctional I found you could give up on everything but family.
I'm hostile towards my parents I wish I could forgive them but they keep on doing the same **** grow up you idiots. I helped raise kids because you thought you still had it but guess what it's over be parents and responsible. Equal my *** they had favorites I wasn't one because I had to tell them to go right but they alaways treat me like I was wrong.

No one said it was easy
Being able to balance life
Pursue a career
Make time for the gym
Write to balance mental health
Being able to feel included
Instead of distant and not welcome
They know your working towards goals set
But chose to be mad an complicate things
So much to learn and know master the craft
Mentor others that need help and ask
Change always is hard but able to adapt
Relationships need balance make time for all

He would strike out again
Anxious to get out of this slump
He would work on his game
Everything he loved was slipping away
He practiced and tried seeing in from all angles
The game was life if he quit
asking where he would end up
It was all he had it made him happy
The power behind his swing the timing was off
Throwing the ball was painful but needed his arm
All he wanted was to get on first kept it simple
The home run swing is missing the game changed
He loved it but his time was running out

Walk in the door
Notice all the sports themed wall
The barber shop full of gossip
Waiting your turn
The barbers says next
Sit in the chair
tell the barber how do the hair style
He covers you
Snips and trims
Razor cuts and high fades
Shows you the work with a mirror
Pay your fee leave a tip
Dusts you off sends you on the ways
Come back haircut can fix you any day

Dream chasing over the detour
Been trusting in the process
feeling lost going back but it's never the same
With or without you life goes on times change
Turn the page enjoy life act your age
No more suppressed rage vent the truth
Others don't understand so they see you as ruthless
Told the truth got nothing but hate it's never too late to make your dreams come true
They think you're crazy they have no clue
You respect their choices while they know your effort
Instead of hating they could be doing more of what they love.

Rocking and ready to rumble
Moving forward trying to stay humble
Laugh hard hard enjoy life
Smile always don't have time to hate life
It might **** but not afraid to live it up
Back from the dead my soul feels alive
Doing all the things that made me happy
Gave it up but taking it back up
Haven't been the same keep getting better
My clear of bs not letting others fill it with doubt
I'm ******* myself I could do without others
Judging pointing there fingers
saying I'm doing wrong when they aren't right
Standing tall back in the fight not staying out
Push me be prepared to be pushed back
Now you're stopped lets see how you like being told how to act
No reaction but your going to overreact stand tall or stand back

I've been writing poems for friends and getting a different response from what I normally get. It feels great to share writing lyric for this music project for friends but I might just do my own solo project.
It feels good to get it out and be understood instead of being looked at like a ******. To be heard and supported feels great most of the time I'm fighting to be different it feels right for once.
I've been told I have talent but I do it so much I don't always see it. Focused on achieving my goal working hard in jujitsu and writing to make sense of my confusion.
Playing with my guitar trying to put music to my words create riffs come up with my own sound.

Working hard hoping to move up
I refuse to let up I feel like giving up
I'd rather work the be broke
Find time to train before and after
Things that hurt me are no longer around
Not letting anything keep me down
I got hurt trying to love someone who didn't care about me
I found true love in my gym routine
Heavy weights that make me sore and sweat
Cardio machines that I get on so I can get some reading done
Getting extra hours at work hoping one day
I'll be better off instead of getting by
Being strong hold my tears in not going to cry
I've encounter many people not sure who to trust
Wild women fast and easy lushes
I'm over that life not trying to lust
I feel alone but on the right path
Being myself not letting anyone influence my progress

Had a talk with a friend I've been feeling isolated my hours not cut so I have to budget I'm on a list at work I'm close to fulltime or benefits but they don't want to give me any.
I've been writing out my thoughts on my dating lifevom not trying to make the same mistakes twice. I'm talking to a girl I need to work up the confidence to ask her out. I'm a few years older I've lived and she's still learning I don't want to be a road block. Its been a while since I've found anyone interesting I usually get bored or not the one.
I've been working on a few sketches one called failed romance and working on a few song writing lyrics helping my friend come up with ideas for songs its an interesting process.

We all have that person who admire from a distance
The fear of getting to know them because you think highly of them
what if those feelings fade or not what you made the person out to be the fear of disappointment
Or what if you can't live up to those needs and those desires
Saying hi makes your day, making eye contact feeling those vibes
Nervous not sure what to say but look forward to the social interaction
Know in an environment but outside of that world be interesting
The fear of rejection but being accepted and mixed emotions hard to set straight.