Taking life to serious lighten up. Lots of ups and downs. Saving up wanting to get out enjoy life. Break the cycle of the everyday routine. Seeing others for their true colors cutting ties and keeping a distance. Would never do that to them and why do they think it's okay.

Been writing for years don't need much to be happy. Making the most of things and what's given. So many haters and doubts quick to turn on you once they don't get their way.

Talking about you no one is talking about them. Trying to get the best of you while they are at their worse. Knock you down while you put out your best not competing or comparing just working hard. Focused on the task staying strong growing in the craft.

Reaching out to those mentors and those who remained loyal. Those that stayed true that's hard to come about now a days. Earning your place so many think it's given. Helping the team keeping them united. While everyone is divided due to personal issues.

Changed his mindset because everyone makes drama and can't get along. You can't say anything but they think they have the right to judge everyone. They get use to disrespecting everyone acting like people owe them. Would rather be an outcast than pretend to be someone else. Not going through them for other things that go on. Strongly dislike when other people's crap becomes others problems which has nothing to do with them.

As he got older he didn't have time for drama. He didn't feel bad for people that did drug or drank because they chose self destruction over life. Sad that some chose their bad habits over their family.
Some think they can pick and choose when they want when to participate. Be their full-time or don't bother wasting everyone's time. So much is expected but nothing is put out.
Growing up poor was feeling unworthy but once you got older you worked hard and through it. So many things to learn and rise above. Mostly learned by doing get in there make it happen.
Learning to lead mostly inspire those who want to make it and put in the time to do so. Some think it but never put forth any effort to get to the next level. Being social is hard because your agenda is to get the work done and keep gaining and growing while others don't care going through the motion without any effort.
Finding self motivation because the people you think are on your team have your back are the ones talking. Not doing any work trying to place themselves above you but not doing anything. They could have their criticism back all those rude remarks because they'll try to break you then try to install some of their ideas like if they care or know what's best for you.

He decided to stay out of it work was way more important than drama. These thoughts are dark and deep could change the tone. Straight forward mostly honest getting no love or respect. Just stayed quiet observed listen to the what was going on.
Always tired demeanor changed working through staying honest and true. Things got wild so personal things got cruel.

Being a man learning to trust himself. Use to be scared to mess up and make a mistake. Facing fears a new obstacle of people with their own situation able to adapt to the situation.
Trying to understand usually focused on the work not drama or people but those set backs become detours and distractions. Asking questions not getting the answers tired of the run around. Learn to do it yourself the best of your abilities if they want it done another way. They could explain the changes and how it should be done.
Years of being excluded treated like a no one. Has been rewarding those people made it easier to understand yourself speak up say what you want because they have nothing to offer you acting like their shady behavior did you favor. Working quietly rising to the next level

The happy couple went to the library. She needed material for school they would look through the books by category. He was enjoying the time together. It's was young and new the puppy love was distracting but they were both in the moment.
She looked at him her eyes lit up, it took him away. He thought she was the one he sat down on the floor. she would straddle him. His heart would she kissed him it took his stress away.
They talked getting to know one another he opened up which was hard for him. No one listened tired of not being heard.

He worked hard making moves ready to take the test. This would be a factor in his future working towards his goals. Wanting a day shift so that he could focus on his training. Changing up his diet incorporating more greens. Resting staying sharp and focused on his passions. Lots of change occured he was working for it. Had plans hoping they'd work out be put into motion.
Changed his focus at ease over come pain and agony cause by his family. He valued them but they didn't respect or valued his opinion. Anything he did didn't matter unless they made it about them. Not like them and will never be like them.

You want to matter but your forcing your way in. You got hurt so you don't let anyone in. Once your in if you don't like what you see you bail. Trying to fall in love with a drug addict who loves drugs more than you.
You don't love this person all you want is to change them. Thinking your love is stronger than the drugs she won't give up on. Thinking your middle name matters even though you claim to hate it. Thinking she knows you but you don't enjoy people's company thinking they are going to take in everything you say.
Sad how you are nice when you need something other than that you won't bother with anyone. All the smack you talked making it personal because you didn't get your way or thinking you could use their weakness against them to get them to do your evil biddings.
Idk what you think or how you feel but you can't treat people the way you do. You insult them thinking you deserve respect. Don't use people act like they owe you. Not able to debate an argument so you make things personal talk about things that have nothing to do with the situation.

Finding another way doesn't make it wrong some have to do side stuff to help you get to the next level. Meeting people you wouldn't normally friend but you learn so much from others than your actual peers sometimes. Should've focused on this career more than partying and saving friendships that aren't meant to be.
Staying strong through those tough times. Feeling like you are built up so someone could come take shots at you. A cheap shot to try to keep you level and humble; who are they to do so. You respect them they clearly have no respect for you. Getting older makes you not want to pry or get involved since everyone makes a fuss but does nothing about it.

Making those moves because everyone is moving use to care what they thought. They had problems and ruined my goodtimes and vibes with their effortless life and bad attitude. Feeling free from the bad open to much more.
How does my life become about them it doesn't. Sitting in the background learning and trying since no one else wanted it. Lots of talk and missed opportunity now grasping those moments.
Admired people seen them greater than myself. Hyped them up and got let down. Years of being judged and being looked down on. It got old cutting ties so that it could be stopped. Never said anything bad but everything was made personal. What's wrong with asking a question or having an opinion. Especially when the person asked.
Thankful for the people who took a chance giving pointers so that one day moving up was a possibility. Tired of people saying "it's not my job" get out of the way stop wasting everyone's time.
It's been a tough path dealing with people. Learning to be social again since being alienated by family was tough but it made it easier to be by one's self. You miss them but they are holding a grudge holding it over your head because they'd rather be right than happy.

Stop blaming your parents they did everything they could you chose to do drugs. You've been given so many chances everyone is fed up. You got your way while ******* people over. You're a grown many I shouldn't have to be telling you. Yet you are quick to play the victim because your baby mommas' want nothing to do with you. They got tired of the lies and trusting your word that left everyone disappointed. It's your life we could only say so much you are your own person.
The drugs could only keep you wired for so long then you'll crash avoid what little responsibility that's left. Showing up counts especially when the standards have been lowered.
Always pray for those who are battling  addiction or an alcoholic. Getting clean is the hard part sometimes you have to isolate yourself and ask "what do you want?" How do I get there and avoid those that feed into your bad habits. It's a tough journey on a lonely road. You'd like people there but no one listens they'd rather tell you how to live your life than be supportive.

You think about telling them but think of the man in the mirror staying humble. You lived your life let them live theirs. Wishing things went differently but everything happened for a reason tough changing of seasons.
Trying to help did more for them now they are talking bad about you. Acting like you dk some of their ***** secrets. Not even phased never thought it would happen wrong to think it would be different. Not the exception just another name on your list of people you ***** over.  Now tell the story differently making everyone look bad never saying what you did or have done.
People only hear one side of the story instead of the whole. Live learn and grow be better than those who put you down or talk bad about you. From an open book to closed off. Seen as mean bitter and cruel because not taking lip from someone who takes never helping anyone but themselves.

He loved the sport and coaching for it. Feeling aged out but missed so much. Times have changed everyone tries to be a brand or product instead of being invested in the sport. He didn't care for gimmicks just hard working individuals that give their all.
Drilling hard going through the motions. The urge within is deep learning and listening to improve. The thoughts are looping, piecing together all the technique.
His mind was ******* up after failed love being with the wrong person who didn't believe in him. He didn't have to prove himself when he did it was for all the wrong people.
He knew the highs and lows the dark side of the sport. Missing the mats getting back into it doing pad work. He was obsessed before lost his focus now he's focused trying to learn and teach others what he knows they can grow and improve.

He got emotional he could taste the stomach acid in his throat. Not sure how to feel someone always provoked him to get a reaction. After a while it felt like it wasn't worth it.
He wanted support had it a few times but didn't last long. Years of betrayal made him feel unworthy. Everyday he would prove himself someone would point out one flaw/mistake discrediting his hard working efforts.
He was a big dreamer so much on his mind. Hard for him to commit to others but learning to commit to himself. Asking what he wants or how can he do it with his flare added to the mix.

His heart and soul began to grow
They couldn't dull his shine
Still growing not being limited
Trying to be himself not a product
Didn't want false mentors trying to shadow his growth
Saying they discovered him all of a sudden
When they didn't bother with him
Claiming to take him under their wing
Trying to take credit for his talent
His skills that empowered others to be great
Motivation for everyone, who was uninspired

Writing about love and life so complicated when it shouldn't be that way. Feeling like the past has this death grip squeezing the life out of him. He was sorry but never forgiven. Not able to make those wrongs right. When he does better why is no one happy for him.
He's not a target when they come at him; why are they mad when he checks them for coming at him sour. He didn't let himself to anyone; most come at him with a vengeance once he checks them they are quick to play the victim. Years of holding it in time to let it out. All this burden weighing him down a distraction from the creative process.

Years of shutting off emotions and feelings held on. Feeling numb and depressed because things didn't happen or turn out accordingly. Still in the pursuing a dream, doing what he likes loves trying to bring it together.
Looking for yourself in the work being part of the material. Who he was and what he's becoming in the future.

Glad to be writing again
I've had people tell me I ****
I almost gave it but writing another world
Its inspired to turn bad into good
Never give up start new
Not be defined by the past
Keep moving forward
Being cozy in my own skin
Not being consumed by anxiety
Face the problem no knife in the back when walking away
No longer talking but listening

Almost time to go home
All these ideas in my mind roam
Smiled because we shared a laugh
Keep focused trying to get the job done
Strive to stay alive hearts open to be revived
Some days are okay others overwhelming staying focused
Keep working till you get it right
It becomes natural makes sense

Been a while since I've posted been writing scripts and trying to get my ideas out. I'm thinking about making shorts because I feel I'm the only one who can dictate my stories and find the right people to play these roles. Learning to make my visions a reality. I've been sharing my ideas for my production company we'd like to get the ball rolling and started. Giving dimensions to all thoughts sometimes I write serious and it ends up being comedy.

He entered the building that he once loved
the vibe never the same
He remained the same as they shamed his name
Wanting change things needed to be done right and differently
Being in many battles he grew it was time to walk away
some fights can't be won. Things crumble within at their own demies.
He gave his all, never enough
some never tried and praised
Learning he would never fit in or belong he stoood
watched all the wrong thinking of ways to make it right.
Not always his place, not always going to belong.

Woke up feeling great fully revived
Things are not perfect but are great
Feeling the music it can take me away
The vibes within come to life with satisfaction
Live in peaceful not complicating things
Once was mad but let it go
So many bad vibes not empowering them
Love so many not letting them get the best of my heart
I forgive, but learned it's best to stay away
Learning to love myself again
Years of giving myself to the wrong people
Someday I'll be loved appreciated by the right person
Hopeless romantic to feeling hopeless not giving up on love
Love again like I've never been hurt
Feeling all these emotions usually blocking them out
Years of being with the wrong people praying for the right

Its crazy how being honest gets you hated while lying cheaters are praised for their decietful actions. Before being in relationship meant putting in time get to know a person with a future. Now a days everyone wants the perks of a relationship without any commitment. Parents told kids what to do, now kids are in Charge. Times have changed like most

Things are not what they appear to be
Sometimes you give others the benefit of the doubt
They prove you wrong also mess with your sense of judgement
In other people's story you are not always made out to be the bad guy
Friends to your face once you turn your back they slaunder your character to others
The only flaw there is the person, they are trying to impress; turn out they find the bad boy rep more attractive.
Most conversations were straight up to the face while the phonies pretended to be someone they weren't

As time passed things changed
From clubbing every weekend to staying home
A rebel who broke the rules, now enforcing them
Going to find people feared being alone now rolling solo
Chose friendships over a relationship too bad friends did the opposite
Dating got complicated better to stay single
Antisocial drinker to sober living
With age things change never going to be the same again
Go forward not back, live life to the fullest

The things you fight for when you have to give them up is one of the tough decisions to make.
The stuff you go through for it but do you really need it sometimes it's worth it other times it's a huge waste of time.
Doing it was a process but worth it after it was all said and done.
Things changed what felt right doesn't provide the satisfaction or gratification.
Move on to something new because growth is always occuring.

Always doing extra it's never enough
Made time for it all can't even ask for a favor
Always giving but can't expect anything in return.
Been fed up with the process
Instead of doing What's right they'll take whatever and settle
Never in mind for a promotion but always the first when something needs to be done
Trying to make it and not stay

Over come bad habits but easy to fall back into them
Sometimes I just want to drink a bottle of Jack
Other times I want to stuff my face to fill the void
All my anger and frustration has me annoyed
If I spoke the truth it would get me hate
If I hold back hating myself for not speaking up
Mind my mouth because I have respect
You have no respect always bad mouthing my name
Working hard and stuck in the same place
While **** ups are given praise for doing nothing
My anger ready to blow up like Dynamite
The rage within can explore I defuse it so things implode
If I spoke my mind not the hero but the bad guy
Meant well but everything fails goes to hell
The broken trust and betrayal is a rush
Can't break my spirit refuse to empower those who oppose me
Walked away it's best I stay away no need for you ashame rejected all the shame