Do things because they matter
Not expecting praise in a daze
Mocked by lazy
Dk why they are talking
Acting like they know
Company has you spread thin
Running two departments
About to lose it over dumb stuff
Life is unfair ready for change

Not one to criticize others
Mind the mouth to avoid drama
Focused on personal affairs not others
One or two close friends over many
Once involved pushed out neglected
A shoulder to cry on looked out for friends
Now receive the cold shoulder
Act like strangers don't know one another
There till something better came along
Not more pretending to be fine
Making excuses justifying wrong doing
Used up then realized for caring
Heart now protected more selective
Hard to open up closed off from deceit

Always open to learn new things
Treat others right be respectful
Try to understand differences
Educate others be mindful
Stop comparing with others
Be an individual not a follower
Not always going to fit in
Change always occurs so adjust
Adapt with constant struggles

Another hot day
Avoiding the sun
Warm outside no draft
Sticky sweat sitting still
Drank a cup of ice water
The ice melted right away
Staying by the fan to say fresh
Breeze is warm no circulation
So dry out hard to breathe

Bleeding ink on aging hands
Writing till death takes its toll
Coping with thoughts over time
Emotions that are blocked out
Feelings that are unattended
Unspoken words never said
Implosive within internal struggle

This guy decided to jump back into the dating world; after a few years of being single, he gave himself time to grow, and learned about himself.

He dated all the wrong girls; before most of them didn't know, what they wanted, or kept it casual. This was all new to him, since he lacked confidence, but on his first try things would be a successful.
The first girl he would ask out said "yes" they would have a romantic dinner in the college community; where they both attended.

He remembered going to prom alone, on this date things felt right. He grew up less fortunate, so he didn't date much. He was private person, most all didn't want others thinking less of him.

A very late bloomer, who didn't drive because his friends would drive him. On this date they would walk to this establishment; hand in hand talking to get one another. Sharing stories getting to know one another.

Not that skin tone matters, but he grew up in an all brown community. this girl he was dating was half black and white such a beautiful mixture in his eyes. His family was traditional sounds racist, stay with your people, he did not agree or believe it should be that way.

She was into him, but this was all new to him. Most of the time, if he was into anyone; they'd friend zone him. He always heard them complain or comfort them about their current relationship; he knew how to listen, and keep a secret.

This date was all new

People come into your life for a reason
Some are for the better while others a mystery
I think of those words that made me better
Or the people who helped along the way
Life might have more struggle than victories
Life lessons have concepts that are hard to grasp
Don't take the day for granted live life to the fullest
Make the most of things make them happen
The pain let's up in the heart of love
Sometimes it's physical take care of your body

What if this happened
Or if that turned out accordingly
Failed came back for more
Denied kept working harder
Rejected not regretting the day
Not one to quit or surrender
Been chew up spit out
Another fight to bounce back
Stayed real and true to the wrong people
Most don't like the truth
Open and honesty seen as blunt
Straight edge doing what's right
Sobriety strong no more self destruction
Not going over the edge for anyone
Battle with anxiety an internal struggle
The mind turns things upside down
Can't fall bad into bad habits
Not making the same mistakes
This loop of deja Vu feels wrong
Trying to break the cycle of insanity
Waves that take life off course
Feels like life or death from intense moment

The mind thinks one way
A voice within makes a joke
Socially awkward a witty remark
Some laugh and smile
While others stare confused
Another blank expression
Made a conversation just got ignored
Walk into another bad mood
Taking all the backlash
Smile get lost in busy work
Cannot get in trouble being productive
Music to block out bad vibes
Keeping solo not one of the group
Always looking in trying to be fair

Shouldn't feel like it doesn't matter
Like efforts are not good enough
Doing extra over the top
Others do the bare minimum
Trying not to compare
Some nights hard to sleep
Body sore and tense from it all
Headaches pressure overwhelming
Too many lead no communication
Not enough workers taking pride
Tension leads to frustration
Builds up over time burnt out
Trying not to fail aiming for success
Put in time been a few years
Slowing down trying to progress

As he walked towards the bathroom
An old friend summoned him to the bar
He figured he'd stop say hi and be on his way
She worked the bar after every distraction
She would return to continue the conversation
Making intense eye contact with one another
Smiling with an upbeat personalities
The room would become white noise
Only able to hear one another's voices
The intensity from the far corner staring
A group of young regulars observe the situation
Did not give off a welcoming vibe being territorial
He sat at the bar sober not into crowds anymore
He out grew the scene but did enjoy her company
Just friends enjoying the social moment
Didn't expect much from  anyone just did his best
Gave his all not afraid to be an individual
Respected others most of all himself not settling
Trying to be genuine without hidden agendas
Another awkward stare down but would ignore it

A moment written down come to life
Better than imagined while writing it down
A visual that became a reality
Such an intense rewarding feeling
Sober living is hard to fight temptation
Avoid things that make the situation awkward
Changed circles sometimes means rolling solo
Knowing better and can't go back to bad habits
So many decisions to be made in life
Trying to make better choices with satisfaction
Focused on improvement over living in regret

Biting his lip over the third degree
He knew better so he backed up
Tempted to fall back into bad habits
Craved alcohol but avoided the taste
Use to be chaotic but now in peace
Felt attacked use to fight back
Walked into confrontation made it worse
Now staying away from it all
Not great with speaking words
Able to write them out better for peace
Held on a different level gave his all
Expected nothing but gave everything
The mind sorting it all out
Comprehending the environment around
Observing eyes that made it easier
Found closure within

Stared deep into her eyes
His heart melted feeling alive
She gave him her attention
Use to being ignored by most
She belonged to someone else
He desired her but respect her
Moment on loop in his head
Captured his heart with vibes

He wasn't good with closing lines
Things always opened up got in tense
Could've been more didn't expect much
Grew apart instead of together short lived
Never amounted to anything more
Glad to be friends then not at all
Not letting feelings get the best of
Emotions ruin a good thing
Feelings of not being enough
Other than had enough fed up
See it from all angles trying to understand
Multiple perspective different outcomes

Found inspiration to inspire others
Believed in others to find motivation
Not always finding it within the soul
Everyday a struggle to be heard
A fight with an *** whooping
Somedays getting by hanging in there
While other times going the distance
Learn from the loss gain experience

Always the weird one for being different
Called crazy for having an opinion
Stood up for what's right meant well
Twisted by others seen as doing wrong
Went into the world faced new obstacles
Still can't find a place an outsider
Looking in trying to belong feel complete
Without denying ones self to belong
Old friends become strangers grew apart
Missing their companionship that became hatred
That betrayal hurt the most so much deceit
Seen them like family showed so much love
After a few mistakes cutoff tried unworthy
Even if their was redemption still not forgiven
Move on from this unfortunate turn of events
All held over head like a bad storm of dark clouds

A step child with an angry father
Didn't mean to hurt anyone
Cross the line offend other
Seen like family treated bad
Blamed for your wrong doing
Might of got disconnected
No need for disrespect
Showed love and appreciation
Dealing with backlash from many
Carrying the burden use to care
Others fueled by hatred
Crushing spirits with ***** deeds
Forced to let go learned to move on

Step up to mic
Dk what to say
Make it inspirational
Empowered to motivate
Positive message in the struggle
Rise above hate not losing faith
will not be consumed by misery
Focused on greatness on a lonely road
Not be determined by others fate

Our love is not meant to be
Simply can't get enough
Always feel unworthy
Keep trying to earn this love
Feeling undeserving of this affection
Is this love real or will she just leave
Pray she's not like the rest
Hope this can actually work out
Not get bored and burn out
Suffer in silence trying to make it right
Many thoughts scenarios playing out
This mind can see it play out
Feel it desire burns aching for reality

Flirting with the insanity
Not acting on those notions
Seen it one way lived it another
Times are changing with the seasons
Couldn't sing it so wrote about it
Can't always explain the emotions within
Not able to explore feeling that occur
Always on the go trying to find more
Be much more than before over the past
Live in the moment future current laughs
So much pondering wondering about reality
Shined as a person in the darkness
Don't want to fade aways because of negativity
Out grow the dull moment never stay down

Minding his mouth
While others get hurt
Can't save everyone
In the cross fire
Spoke up others got offended
Said nothing taking the blow
Standing tall going numb
Trying not to intervene
Tired of turn a blind eye
Others get ******* over
A dominos effect no one escapes
Where everyone feels the pressure
Hard to surrender being provoked
Knowing the consequences
Tarped in feeling frozen
Not able to react

Diverse time in life
Break the curse to be free
Won't let things be
Everyone lies hard to see the truth
Keep on fighting for a dream
Keep on writing honestly
Never said your name
Always bad mouthing my name
Not the same level up
Never alike anywhere close
No comparison been going strong
Stop with the mind games

The old tire swing
Hung from the largest tree
The block use to be full of kids
Everyone grew up lived their life
Tree shade for many generations
The rope held the tire for years
Friends would swing to forget
Get away not rush to grow up
Couples bonded by the lonely tree
Spend time together many memories
Brought people closer to one another
Years passed the rope strong
Holding the tire blows in the wind
Leaves fall from the tree
Changing with the seasons
The shadow of memories
From the sunlight so bright

Hard to trust a loving smile
All in but things will fall out
Face feeling warm starting to sweat
Holding composure regain ground
Trying not to stutter racing mind
Feels like something's wrong
But everything will be alright
In the quiet Break room dimly lit
Fresh with the AC blowing circulating
Composing thoughts coming to terms

Fought through the traffic
Anxious to get there
Being on the road
Feels like forever
So close yet so far
Taking in memories
Escape the insane reality
Taken away by the moment

Climbed the tree with a base
Anxious to make it
Get to the top with a view
Once achieved a rewarding sight
Admire the scenery full of green
Hear bird chirp in the distance
Gray heavy clouds in the sky
Cold moisture in the air
Slow drops of rain start falls hard
Refreshing against a warm body
Tempture drops changing weather
Able to see a foggy breath
Cold feels right body adapts

Air squeezed from the throat
Hard to breath low air supply
Trying to escape the death grip
Someday harder than others
Time flies by without any notice
Knowing its wrong in the mind
Tempted to do it anyway
Protect the heart saying away
Tortured heart craving more
Claimed goods that are spoken for
Stubborn mind in conflict
One wants dive all in
The other pondering outcomes
Unaware of the consequences
A cage heart released into danger
While the mind tries to see it
Make it happen or die trying

Dark from the heart
Trying to get right
Easily annoyed by everything
Anxiety hard to avoid
Back pain comes and goes
An empty heart full of aches
Alone yelling into a pillow
Others won't hear the screaming
A never ending itch to scratch

Someday are bad
Hide behind a smile
Push through to make it
Treat people right
A bad mood for the moment
Shouldn't ruin others day
For once loyal to the right people
Make it feel welcoming a place to go
Somewhere to be guilt free
Use to being rejected but forgiving
Not let others influence behavior
Be honest and genuine a lost trait

What's good for one is not right for others
Some want love even if it's with the wrong person
While others want the right person without love
Sobriety has a price some can drink and function
While others are consumed by alcohol
Some want love while others run away
While others are rejected fighting a lost cause

A fresh day with a nice breeze
Washed the cars cleared the mind
Put things into perspective
Not a mechanic but enjoy being around cars
Not materialistic but enjoy cleaning
Had a rough morning deal with bad attitudes
Sorry others go through a tough time
No need to take frustration out on others
Taking a time out or talking it out might help
The barber shop is a place where people go
Get groomed new look new chapter
Enjoy music and read a book while waiting
Such a great escape feel better about life
Walk a block or two not far from home
Get some exercise in for the day

Break through onto new
Finally surpassed negativity
Its lurking in the darkness
Focused on change being better
New book with new chapters
Surprised by new begins
Glad some endings are over
Wired to win rise to another level
Being a loyal friend
Got the cold shoulder
Had to move on now your mad
Keep contact got ignored
Things went sour on that end
Now a text came this way
Talk about love not a side choice
Made a stranger hatred grow
Wanting to hear those words
That shouldn't be said or spoken
Unless you mean them being truthful

Keep going strong
Eventually someone will say yes
Take a risk give you a chance
Do your part finish strong
Others will see your efforts
It's hard to trust others
Supported had their back
While they knifed your heart
Talked them up said good things
Betrayal is like spit in your face
Surprise but should've seen it coming

Could never vent to others
Always have to disregard these feelings
To help others problems it's no a contest
Not comparing just trying to cope
Some people change for the worse
Tired of making excuses for others
Justify the shady stuff they did
Walked away disappointed
Stopped setting up for failure

Been kind of disappointed with people
Don't expect much from other
They'll use you up then send you packing
Mind my mouth not one to judge
Not allowing others to be disrespectful
Play victims flip the script
Called them on the be
No time for their lie or nonsense
Some defends themselves

Got nothing outside of writing
Thinking what to say how to say it
Lots of growth change is hard to cope with
Change break out of old habits
The same old routine changes up
From facing the world after walking away
So much has changed not the same
A fight to be accepted by others
Tried to fit in got rejected and denied
Became a rebel walked around alone
Seem like better people came into this life
Concerned for your health well being
Check up see how things are going
Being over looked not good enough
Ignored flaws pointed out very infuriating

Not one to wallow but deal with things
Able to communicate with others
More of a tangent than rambling
The process doesn't happen right away
Think highly of most others careless
Respectful to people not into phonies
Betrayal by family hurts the most
Never see it coming shouldn't be surprised
Different lessons stuck in the process
Progress slow and steady waiting
Never happens when ready
In and out of the world
Never too late time rushing fast
Many moments have passed

Achieved those goals a mild victory
Usually fighting to stand on level grounds
Clawing to be rise up get to the next level
Can't stay down forever meant to grow
Been buried too many times before
Crazy enough to come back for more
Refuse to quit never back down
So many road blocks and detours
Strong will overcome cheap thrills

Not always the first pick
Not always going to win
Making the most of everything
Close to a relapse nerves worked
Not giving into temptation
Chose to stay sober clean for too long
One sip full of regret lasts forever
Always went out every weekend
Blacked out don't remember anything
The following morning woke up at home
Not sure how or how it happened hung over
Found new outlet ways to have fun
Without being consumed by alcohol

Avoiding so much to stay sober
Can't be in the crowds
Too much peer pressure
Don't like to be around the temptation
Hard to associate without beer to connect
Being sober around consumers
Someone always has a guilt trip
Being the DD is not fun anymore
Some dk how to act after a few
Intoxicated altered behavior
Truth comes out liquor loosens lips
Sometimes love is hard to express
Other times hidden hatred that's grown

Overcome the drama
Be around positive people
Avoid negativity from toxic people
Being the kid who came over everyday
Never liked being home
Talking loud doesn't mean you're right
Insulting one another saying it's a joke
Dishing it out not able to take it in return
Open to change losing sense of self
One of the worse feelings
Some will support you build you up
Others will knock it rip you a new one
Learning strengths and weaknesses
Limitations are the worse still trying anyway
Sometimes taking on a lost cause
Believing there might be reason and purpose

Sad over growing up less fortunate
Everyday a struggle to accepted
Others mock your mannerisms
For being different
Provoked for being short
Skin tone another factor
Dressed nice seen as gay
Wore whatever looked down on
Spoke truth got ignored
Hatred came in many forms
Family betrayal hurts the most
Friends cut you off without reason
A crush ends up with your best friend
Trust issues forgiving moving on alone
Anger defused by loving

Sad when you depart
Want to grow with people
But they have other plans
Nothing but the cold shoulder
Third degree found something better
So cold and cruel fake

Not able to post
Site was acting up
Thinking what to say
Not matching emotions
Mixed feelings dk anymore
Things don't make sense
Not the same as before
Change for the better
Within feeling worse
A broken curse escape
Healing heart to grow